Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight-related, Stephenie Meyer gets all the credit. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: This is my first fanfic, so I'm keeping it simple. I don't care for stories that are extremely OOC so I tried my best to make this lemon-ish O/S true to the characters. This takes place way back in the beginning of the first book before Bella learns how Edward feels about her.
EPOV:
I slowly opened the window to Bella's bedroom and silently slid in, as I had been doing nearly every night for over a month now. My weak defense had originally been that my presence was for her protection from friends of Carlisle who were visiting; however, that ruse was easily unraveled by my family. They were quick to notice the sudden change in my demeanor with the arrival of the girl. I was not sure what brought me to this room each night. My abrupt fascination with this human girl was puzzling, even to myself. Didn't her tantalizing scent torture me enough everyday at school? Why did I subject myself to such agony on a regular basis?
Perhaps it was for the brief glimpses into Bella's teasingly silent mind that kept me coming back. Bella had the tendency to talk in her sleep. This is how I learned that she misses her mother and has a stern disliking for the dreariness of Forks. Attempting to decode her thoughts by reading her facial expressions at school was more difficult than any other human I have encountered. She was especially active tonight, tossing restlessly and murmuring often. Her position in bed was rather comical as she lay nearly completely uncovered and limbs splayed in an unorganized fashion. Although, she looked beautiful, as always, with the relaxed and peaceful expression of sleep on her pale face.
After memorizing her face each night, I found it odd how I ever thought of her as plain or ordinary. Her long dark hair tangled around her face. Her lips were full and moved intermittently as she slept. My eyes lingered on her mouth, trying to imagine how it would feel pressed against my own. I thought of how hot her breath would be in my mouth.
In the midst of my unreachable fantasy, Bella stirred. Her hands which where twisted in her hair slid down to her chest and rested upon her breasts. Bella allowed a quiet moan and a rushed exhale from the contact with her sensitive skin.
I froze, trapped in the middle of three thoughts- to bolt out of the window out of pure shame for intruding on this very private moment, to stay frozen in this exact spot as to not allow this moment to end, and the most dangerous of the three, to get as close as possible to Bella and feel her softness for myself.
With brief deliberation, option two claimed victory as I stayed where I was, transfixed on what my eyes laid on before me. Bella's hands kneaded her chest as her breathing grew quicker and jagged. Her heartbeat followed in suit and I became painfully aware of the scent with which she was filling the small room. Her racing pulse and flushed skin caused an immense fire in my throat. I tried to ignore this burning by focusing on other, more confusing, desires.
Bella's hands now moved away from her chest, eyes never opening, until she reached her center. With her first touch, she murmured softly, "Oh, Edward."
Another freezing took place on my part. The realization that she was dreaming of me touching her was absolutely overwhelming. A turbulent flow of emotions rocked though my cold and still body. I felt such an attraction and love toward this girl in his moment it over came any thirst I had been experiencing moments ago. The desire to kill her nearly vanished and feelings that were foreign to me swam throughout my core. The spirit of my frozen heart was awakened and began to throb. Not to mention what was occurring a little further down.
Of course I had been aroused before in my hundred years but never like this. Never out of sheer attraction and love for a girl who, at least in her sleeping hours, felt somewhat similarly. And never before had I been this… hard.
I planted my eyes on Bella as she circled her fingers lightly between her legs. What I would give to be able to read her thoughts in this context. However, I quickly dismissed the idea, scolding myself for already being utterly invasive as it were. Her breathing was heavy. She began slightly and slowly lifting her hips under her touch, a sight that sent my head spinning. Now she was not the only one hyperventilating. I desired so much to be able to be human, to be able to love her appropriately. I longed to be able to touch her without her being shocked by the unusual coldness of my skin. I wanted to be able to give her myself the pleasure she sought now.
The stirring in my jeans was becoming almost as difficult to ignore as the fire in my throat resulting from my heavy breathing. While the smell of her blood was as potent as ever, the other scent which flooded my mind was outright intoxicating. My mouth watered at the thought of tasting her and the notion of feeling the source of that warm, wet scent. I realized, as my eyes were transfixed on Bella, that my hand was gripping the bulge that was now unmistakably present below my belt.
What a compromising position I was in. I was again stuck between equally powerful and conflicting emotions. I felt a huge sense of guilt for taking full advantage of the girl I loved for the sake of my own pleasure. Also, what if she woke to find me sitting in the dark corner of her room feeling my arousal like a psychopath? Clearly that would put an abrupt end to whatever inklings of feelings she had begun developing for me. I would never be able to explain myself. Not that she would even give me the opportunity to try, and I would not blame her.
At the same time, I fought to convince myself that I would never be able to willingly turn away from this sight. And isn't Bella expressing a desire for this kind of attention? She did moan my name after all.
At this point, that was all the convicting that was needed to persuade me to stay put. I watched mesmerized, as Bella moved her soft body beneath her quickening touch. Her breathing and heartbeat were now erratic and my thoughts began to cloud with my own building pleasure. Suddenly, Bella arched her back and her lips parted as she let out course breaths."Edward," she breathed, as her body rose and trembled slightly. I could not have moved away from his moment even if I willed myself to. My thoughts went blank as I found release of my own pleasure.
I sat in my dark corner watching Bella sleep quietly the rest of the night. Her breathing was slow and even and her face smooth. As a pondered in the darkness, I decided I could never bear to stay away from Bella, I was in too deep. Never before had I experienced and indescribable pull toward someone, much less any human, and I was positive Bella's unknowing grasp upon my heart would not be easy to shake. For once I felt thankful for my long, sleepless nights, for much time would be needed to sort this out. I considered my future and my fate as the morning light began to break. Then I quietly left through the window with anticipation for the coming day.