AN: HELLO EVERYBODY! Lol.

Told you I'd be back one day. I didn't know when, and I didn't know with what story, but Lady Dae is back after writing and self-publishing a couple of books (they're in my profile), graduating from college, and not finding a job (sigh). Yeah.

Anyway, I've been on a Star Wars kick lately. I mean, I never stopped being a fan. I never stopped reading Star Wars fanfiction, but lately I've wanted something different. I wanted a good Ahsoka, Anakin, and Padmé fic and to my disappointment, the fic I wanted was nowhere to be found and all the good writers who used to write things like that aren't active anymore. So I decided, why don't I write it? Which was the reason I started writing Star Wars fanfiction in the first place.

Thus I found the beginnings of this jewel of a story on my computer and after reading through all my old stories and some editing, because man have I improved in my writing since Descension into Darkness, I decided to post this. It's an alternate universe where RoTS didn't happen in the way it happened in the movies, primarily because Anakin didn't turn to the dark side in this story for reasons that will be explained as the story progresses. Also, Ahsoka didn't leave the Jedi and that whole ordeal with her being framed didn't happen either, but mostly cannon until then. That said, I'm not done writing this story. I'm four chapters in. So I can't give you an update schedule, especially since I'm working on my next original novel to self publish soon, but that doesn't stop other fanfiction writers and I decided not to let it stop me either. We'll just see what happed. So without further ado:

Faith and Knowing

Chapter One

For some reason, a reason Padmé Naberrie Skywalker couldn't put her finger on, she had a feeling it was going to be one of those days; those days where something happened that was completely out of her control, no matter what she did to stop it; where she felt like the galaxy might decide to cave in on itself; where she would later wish she hadn't gotten out of bed. Regardless of how she was feeling though, Padmé had got out of bed anyway, following the motions of the usual routine of getting herself prepared for a long day at the Senate.

Leia rushed into the room as Padmé was combing out her brown curls.

"What is it sweetheart?" the woman asked absently, unable to shake the hollow feeling.

"Where's daddy?" she demanded, concern etched into the features of the three year old girl. Her usual serene and angelic features replaced by a seriousness Padmé had no idea a three year old could possess.

Caught off guard, it wasn't until Leia made her demand a second time that Padmé replied.

"I'm not sure. He was headed on a mission somewhere in the outer rim," Padmé replied brushing off her daughter's uncharacteristic behavior. Leia never asked about her father except for the occasional question of when he was coming back. It was Luke who was always wondering where he was at, what he was doing, and if he was succeeding on his missions.

Leia stared at Padmé silently for a moment and then walked back out the room. She was growing up so fast, both of her children actually. It seemed only yesterday her twins had been born. Anakin had been so elated, so proud.

She smiled as her thoughts went to her secret Jedi husband. It had been an incredibly challenging but rewarding last few years, where everything they had worked so hard for could have been lost. The Clone Wars had dragged on for three tiresome years officially, but its affects still plagued the galaxy. It would be years before the republic was stable again after the havoc Palpatine, who turned out to be the Sith Lord the Jedi had been looking for, had caused by orchestrating a war to try to take over the galaxy. Of course, the public didn't know that. As far as they knew, Palpatine had been assassinated by the Sith, his body lost, and Anakin Skywalker, the galaxy's hero with no fear, had slain the Sith Lord who had committed the deed. It had taken a large amount of covering up by the Jedi and a few key members of the senate to keep the real story from getting to public. To think what would have happened if the galaxy knew that a Sith, the enemy of the Jedi thought to be legend, had worked his way into the political arena and plotted to take over. They would lose what little faith they had in democracy and the Republic. How would they know there wasn't another Sith ready and waiting for his chance?

So it had been with great reluctance that the few people who knew vowed not to reveal the truth, Padmé included. But that didn't solve all their problems. If Palpatine had been trying to break the galaxy's faith in the Republic to make way for his dictatorship, he had done that. With its leaders dead, the separatists had grudgingly admitted defeat and surrendered. Negotiations began, and treaties were signed, but that left the leaders of the galaxy to try and restore a war torn galaxy where there was the constant risk of more wars breaking out as people starved, tried to find shelter, and fought over resources.

It was the reason Padmé still found her husband snatched away from her too often for her liking. They had agreed that even though the war was over, they couldn't leave the Republic to deal with the aftermath. The galaxy still needed them. So their secret remained that way, a secret. But Padmé's children could not remain that way and as soon as the media got whiff of their birth a few weeks later, Padmé could no longer deny that she was in some kind of relationship or else there would be scandal. So she used the excuse that her husband preferred to stay out the public eye and the public loved her enough to respect her wishes.

Padmé made her way to her closet to pick out her outfit and get dressed before she would go and prepare the twins for the day. But she stopped in her tracks and ran to her children's room when she heard Luke scream.

"Daddy!" he yelled.

Padmé rushed to his side almost knocking over Leia, who was at the side of her brother's bed looking at him with watery eyes, lips trembling with the effort of trying not to cry.

"What's wrong Luke?" Padmé asked pulling him in her arms, but her little boy wouldn't stop crying. So Padmé turned to Leia. "Leia, what's wrong?"

Leia swallowed before saying, "He was having a bad dream. He kept calling daddy. And then he woke up."

With that the tears the three-year-old girl had been trying to hold in began to stream down Leia's face as she buried her face in her mother's stomach,

"What's going on?" Padmé asked.

"Something bad happened mommy," Leia replied.

Padmé could have sworn the temperature dropped because suddenly she was so cold, heart tight and beginning to ache in anxious anticipation and dread. When her children said something bad happened, something bad happened, and Padmé had the horrible feeling, the same feeling that she had awaken with a couple of hours ago, that it had something to do with her husband. She heard her data-pad go off at that moment and carried Luke in one arm and led Leia along with her open hand as she went back to her room to check the device. There was a notification of a message one of her closest friends and colleagues, Bail Organa.

Have you checked the news yet?

Padmé frowned. Usually she was would have turned it on by now, but she had no time for news when she had to calm down her hysterical children.

No. Why? she typed back and sat Luke on her bed as she waited for the reply.

You may want to.

The reply was short and curt, and Padmé's instincts told her she wasn't going to like what she saw when she turned it on. Timidly she walked out into her living room, the tightness in her chest getting worse, and picked up the remote to the holo projector and turned it on. It was still on the cartoon channel that Luke and Leia had been watching the evening before. Padmé's hands shook, fingers barely able to become steady enough to press the buttons on the remote. Finally, she got enough control over her digits to flip the channel and a second later the remote fell to the ground, her shaky hands coming to her mouth.

Across the screen flashed the Breaking News banner, but that wouldn't have been needed to catch her attention as the headline was enough to send her into shock.

Anakin Skywalker DEAD.

Padmé didn't know how long she stood there, how long she simply stared in disbelief at what she was watching. She didn't even comprehend what the newscasters were saying as her eyes read the headline over and over again; as she realized why her children were so distressed. It had taken some effort on her and Anakin's part to hide her children's Force talent, forging their midichlorian test for one, and then Anakin using his own abilities to shield their bright presences from the Jedi. And to keep it that way, he refrained from teaching them much of anything about the Force although they were very well aware that if they wanted to, one day they could be a Jedi like daddy. But that didn't mean that their abilities were dormant. Sometimes they knew things they weren't supposed to; detected emotions that weren't readily seen in people's expressions or demeanor; sensed when events, bad or good, were about to happen. If it was important, like something wrong with their father, it bothered them, nagged them to the point of tears… Tears. Luke had seen something. Luke knew something, and Padmé could learn much more from talking to her son than she could ever learn from watching the news.

"Luke," she said frantically going back to her room and putting Luke in her lap. "Luke. What did you see? What happened to daddy?"

"He was hurt," he whined.

"Hurt how?" Padmé asked and when Luke didn't answer she added, "Was it bad?"

"I don't know," he answered.

"It was dark, a bad man mommy," Leia whispered looking down and then back up at Padmé. "Mommy is daddy going to be okay?"

Padmé looked between Luke and Leia before clenching her jaw in determination.

"He'll be fine, and he's going to come back to us," Padmé assured them and if she had anything to do with-and she was definitely going to-that was a promise.

Ahsoka stealthily snuck her way in the temple in the early morning hours. If her master was there, she surely wouldn't have gotten away with it, but alas he was gone on a mission and she could escape a long stern lecture. Hypocrite… Always getting on her about her late nights while he was always off having his own clandestine affair though Ahsoka wasn't sure who it was with. She confronted him about it once, when he caught her sneaking back into their shared quarters for the umpteenth time. It had gotten him off her back for all of maybe five seconds before he sighed and said he was just worried about her. She hadn't been quite the same after that botched up mission a few years ago.

She sighed as she threw her cloak over a chair and started to make her way to the bathroom, using the force to turn on the light. Ahsoka then found herself staring at the stern face of Obi-wan Kenobi. His arms were crossed, eyebrows furrowed in displeasure.

"Want to explain to me where you've been all night Padawan Tano?" he asked.

"Stang," Ahsoka muttered. It was never a good thing when someone called her padawan. It was a reminder of her recklessness and status, meaning she had some explaining to do.

"Why are you here?" she finally asked trying to play it off.

"Ahsoka," Obi-wan said sternly, and Ahsoka rolled her eyes.

"I was just having a little fun. Nothing that any other Padawan isn't doing," Ahsoka finally said with a playful sigh.

"I doubt it."

"Why are you so concerned anyway?" Ahsoka asked. "It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal," Obi-wan insisted. "Besides, Anakin wanted me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm touched," Ahsoka said teasingly. "I'll have to reward him when he gets back."

Obi-wan pinched the bridge of his nose at the twenty-year-old, obviously catching the innuendo.

"Ahsoka please," he said wearily. "We need to talk."

"If this is about some rumor that's been going around about my un-jedi-like behavior, you have nothing to worry about. I haven't gotten into any trouble… lately," she added.

"I'll get to that later," Obi-wan said to her. "All I'll say on the matter right now is that your reputation precedes you. Keep it in mind."

Ahsoka scowled as she remembered exactly how that reputation had been gained. It had all started as a simple mission that had turned into the worst disaster of her life and still gave her nightmares…

"That's not my fault."

"Maybe at first it wasn't," Obi-wan gave. "But you can't say you didn't play right into it eventually."

"Oh please," Ahsoka said as she sat down and kicked off her shoes.

"Well if the fact that you were out all night isn't playing into it, I don't know what is," Obi-wan said dryly and then added, "Even if that wasn't the case, the… inappropriate way you tease people isn't."

Ahsoka shrugged. "I tease Anakin all the time, and he doesn't mind."

"That's the point," Obi-wan said. "And that's only because he'd learned to live with it accept it in light of what happened on-."

"Fine," Ahsoka said cutting him off and then sighed, "Fine."

It was true her reputation as a… 'vixen Jedi' preceded her. But what the media and the general public thought about her life outside the Jedi walls wasn't accurate, not completely anyway. What did she care? There was nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting and teasing here and there.

"Are you done now?" she asked.

Ahsoka expected him to say yes and leave. But Obi-wan sighed and that was when Ahsoka realized that what she had mistaken for exasperation at her was something more complex. It was frustration and impatience with her definitely, but it was magnified by something that Ahsoka could only describe as overwhelming sadness, almost despair. Greif even. Her head shot up at that point. Stoic, passive, and undisturbed Obi-wan was grieving about something, and it was seeping through his mental shields.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm surprised you don't already know. I though you would have felt it. Maybe you would have if you hadn't been out all night," Obi-wan sniped.

Ahsoka pushed away the instinct to snipe right back at him, but she pushed the feeling away, his bitter tone not escaping her.

"What?" she asked, seriously this time.

Obi-wan took a deep breath and briefly looked away from her before looking back at her. Ahsoka's heart felt heavy all of a sudden as it began to race in her chest. Obi-wan couldn't look her in the eye. That meant this was bad. More than bad, if there was a word for it.

"Ahsoka. Anakin's dead."

Ahsoka stared him for a moment, not thinking she heard right. But when she realized she had, she felt as though the galaxy was about to turn in on itself and collapse on top of her as her knees began to grow weak. Impossible…

"No," she said finally in an emotionless tone, even as she realized that earlier Obi-wan kept referring to Anakin in the past tense. "You're lying."

"It happened late last night," Obi-wan began. "He was ambushed. They shot his ship down as soon as it came into the atmosphere and then destroyed the ship before he could get out."

Ahsoka glared at him and then made up her mind. "You're wrong. You're lying. I would have felt it. I would have felt him die. He's not dead. Have they looked for him? Did they find a body?"

"There were no remains. Ahsoka he didn't survive."

Ahsoka stood up and glared at him. "Get out."

"Ahsoka."

Ahsoka felt a surge of anger in her as she hissed and took a step closer.

"Get out. You're a liar," she yelled. "He's not dead!"

"It's no use denying it Ahsoka. Search your feelings. Search the force. You know it's true," Obi-wan said calmly.

"I said," Ahsoka began in a whisper before she blew, "GET OUT!"

Obi-wan wasn't intimidated by her outburst. But appearing to figure that she'd come to terms with it later, he left her to herself as she requested.

Ahsoka sank back on the couch as Obi-wan's words rang in her head.

Anakin's dead.

Ahsoka wasn't willing to believe it. It was impossible. She should have sensed it. She would have sensed it… wouldn't she? She hadn't been that out of touch the night before that she had missed that. There was no way. But then again, if she stayed in the temple where she should have been, would she have already known?

Try to stay out of trouble until I get back, Snips.

I'll try, she had replied cheekily though they both knew she wouldn't.

If she had just done what her master told her in the first place and meant it when she agreed. Maybe she wouldn't be in denial right now. Maybe she wouldn't have been so out of touch and carefree that she had ignored the Force telling her. She swallowed, forcing in a deep breath and then exhaling slowly in effort to calm her racing heart, like it was trying to struggle out of the tight aching grip of dread Ahsoka felt in her chest. Then she decided to take Obi-wan's advice and search the Force, search her feelings for the answer. She wouldn't accept it until the Force confirmed it for her, until she was sure she couldn't feel the bright spot in the force that was her master's presence.

She fell into a meditative pose and cleared her mind, searching the Force for her master's presence amongst the living. To her horror, she couldn't grasp it, not like she was usually able to. It was hard to miss the vibrant presence in the Force and for it not to be right there in her grasp like it usually was only began to confirm what Obi-wan told her. But Ahsoka kept searching. She didn't want to accept it. Every fiber of her being was telling her not to accept it, and it wasn't her emotions clouding her judgment. She had to keep looking.

Ahsoka wasn't sure exactly how long she stayed in her meditation, but she had been about to give up when she felt a tug on the bond that she hadn't been able to find, the bond that she had tried to use to reach out to her master but had found no answer. There tug on the bond was gentle and only for a moment, Ahsoka felt it, her master's presence sparked in the Force and then was just as quickly swallowed up by darkness. Swallowed, but no gone. Obscured, but not extinguished.

She came out of her meditation with a gasp, her heart thudding in her chest with hope now instead of anxious dread. Without wasting any time trying to make herself presentable or change out of the outfit the council would definitely disapprove of. She snatched her cloak up and made her way out her room, running to the council.

Chapter Ending Notes:

I missed my readers so much these last few years. And if you missed me as much I have missed you these last three years, leave a review. And if you're a new reader to my Star Wars fanfiction, leave a review so we can get acquainted. This is going to be one rollercoaster of a story and I can't wait to experience it with you all.