all very confusing i shall post part 2 soon

I Never Died

Part 1 - Born to die

JW-

2 years after Sherlock's passing Dr. John Watson still thought of him, Most people had adjusted to life, but not John. After the incident John chose to sleep in Sherlock's room, because it smelt of him and made John feel safe and secure. His feelings never changed.
SH-

Every night for 2 years I've been visiting him, it must be safe now. Sherlock had this argument with himself every evening. No, No you're just desperate to hear his voice again. I know but it hurts to know the pain I'm putting him through, why not just a quick visit? It's too dangerous; it would be a risk of John's life. Moriarty could have tricked death as well but why? It hurt Sherlock so much to know that he couldn't speak to John one more time without risking his life. But maybe just a look, he could stand by the door just to check he's ok.
JW-

It was about midnight when John saw the silhouette of a rather tall man stood by the door to 221B. Who was it? Not a client, no one came after Sherlock's passing. The man looked so much like Sherlock it hurt to look but John couldn't pull his eyes away. Sherlock is gone; John was accepting that by now. As he did he noticed some movement in the corner of his eye, another shadow, a man but who? That question was answered when Jim Moriarty stepped into the light; John knew what he had to do.
SH-

Oh, god he saw me, I'm sure of it. He. He, I've put him in danger. I feel ill, what have I done? I could have just killed him. Oh stupid, stupid me.
JW-

2 years on John still felt the same as he did when he watched his best friend f.f..Fall to his untimely death fear, love and anger. Every day since his death John saw things, at first the silhouettes and now the people standing and staring, every time he left the flat, he felt he was constantly being watched, but still he tried to carry on.
SH-

This was the hardest decision had ever needed to make, shall I stay away, forget John and leave him in peace. Or show myself to him, and reveal my love, but put him in danger? The decision was rather easy, I'll show myself and my undying love to John, then I can protect him, but only when he knows I'm alive.
JW-

John sat alone in Sherlock's chair, he knew If Sherlock was here; he would be off sulking or at least insulting him. John missed the words of Sherlock Holmes; he missed his eyes, his hair and even his snobby personality.
SH-

Sherlock stood outside 221B, he saw John sat in his chair, it made him chuckle, but he knew it was now or never!
JW-

John saw a shadow pass over his window, before he could move, he was sat face to face with Moriarty, how? Why? Just to make matters worse a few seconds later his beautiful Sherlock ran into the room.
SH-

Shit, I knew this was the wrong choice. How was Moriarty here? I've hurt John I can see it in his eyes. What have I done?
JW-

As fast as he arrived Sherlock left, before John knew it he was out on the street with Moriarty, both chasing Sherlock Holmes. John knew this was the only chance he had before Sherlock was gone again "wait, I...I love you Sherlock" But it was too late...
SH-

Sherlock froze at those words and the gunshot that followed quickly afterwards. JOHN! What have I done? The petrified scream from John Watson ripped the air and then silence. Sherlock sprinted over to John's body lying motionless on the stone cold floor. This is my turn to lose you.

JW-

Moriarty turned to face John and pulled the trigger, all John could do was scream before the immense pain took over his nervous system, as he fell Moriarty turned and ran eager to get away, as Sherlock, his dear Sherlock ran up to him.
SH-

"I...I love you too John" Sherlock said "its all a trick" John whispered as he watched John slowly slip away 'forever'. Sherlock collapsed in tears, as he looked down at his best friend, his only friends body lie cold and lifeless on the stone cold floor of the street. Sherlock bent down and lightly kissed Johns, cold, blue lips, he stared as his tears fell and hit Johns beautiful face.

SH-
Sherlock's cries slowly drifted away, leaving only tears, and occasional sobs, Sherlock kissed Johns lips again and again desperate for John to kiss back but, he never did. He looked so calm, so peaceful, so pure all but the red rose of blood sprouting from his chest.
SH-

Sherlock eventually had to be pulled away by the paramedics, as they removed Johns body from the streets, Sherlock could feel nothing but numbness and anger, the loss of the one person he had ever loved, John. Why did I do this? It's my entire fault. He kept repeating the scream in his head. The scream, Why so scared? Why? I was there the whole time, I promised myself I would protect him, and I failed. I just got him back and, now I've lost him for real.
SH-

Months on from Johns death, any people were re-adjusting to life, but, not Sherlock. He couldn't last more than a week, with John completely gone. So, he left a note for - "I'm so, sorry to do this to you again, but as you know, I need John, and he needs me, don't worry you'll do ok on your own, all my love - SH. Once writing the note he placed it on Johns bed pillow, where he later placed his head after overdosing on John's depression pills.
SH-

"I'll be with you soon my sweet, I can promise you that" Sherlock spoke softly as he to drifted off into his dear Johns arms, "your here now" John whispered.