"But he's my friend!" Lily protested

"No, he isn't. He's a Slytherin. And a Death Eater." James responded – determined and authoritative

"James, he has been my friend for nearly a decade. I can't not invite him!"

"He is not your friend. You're a mudblood to him."

"You don't know –"She sighed, stopping mid-sentence, "He didn't mean that. He was mad at you not at me."

"But it doesn't change what he said."

Lily knew that on some level her fiancé was right. But she didn't want to, couldn't let herself, give in.

"Maybe he wouldn't have said it if you weren't such a royal prat. Did you really need to be that cruel to him?"

"I was not cruel!"

"Yes. You were. Why do you think I hated you so much?"

James paused, taking in her last statement. For a moment his face was sombre, almost apologetic. Slowly though, a grin spread across his face. His eyes met hers, defiant.

"You never actually hated me."

"How would you know? You didn't know me then. He did. He was my friend then, still is."

"He's not coming to my wedding."

"Our wedding. He's important to me. You get all your friends and family there, but mine won't be – not that that's your fault. I want what few people I have to be there. Can't you understand that?"

"Severus Snape is not coming to my wedding, and that is final."

She looked at him. Saw his cockiness. His inability to realize his faults. She sighed, turned to walk away but paused.

"Yes James, I did hate you. And you being so, so—" She was at a loss for words. "Uggghhh. When you get like this, it reminds me why I did. And it makes it hard for me to not hate you."

Lily turned from her fiancé once more and exited the room.

Lily sat staring at the bottle in front of her. Closing her eyes she breathed in the scent of tobacco and alcohol. Why hadn't James come after her? Why didn't he chase her? Why- No. Stop it. Stop thinking about the fight. She brought the bottle to her lips and swallowed the remnants of the liquid inside of it. Blurring her eyes she faced towards the barkeeper, raising her bottle to indicate that she was ready for another. She didn't want to look to closely at anything here. Not the bar. Not your life.

The barkeeper took the empty bottle from her and handed her a fresh one. She nodded her thanks without making eye contact.

It wasn't even that important. It isn't like Severus is out there lamenting over me. James is right. He isn't my friend. Then why am I here?

Lily turned from her seat at the bar to face the other patrons. She was not expecting to see anyone she knew. This wasn't the type of place that they frequented. This was the type of place that people like Severus frequented. But Severus wasn't there. No one she knew was there. Lily was alone.

Disappointed, she rotated her bar stool to once again face the blurred and undistinguished bar. I should go home. I should go to James. No – I came here for a reason. I should find Severus and invite him to my wedding. God that's so stupid. He hates James, and probably me too. He wouldn't want to come. He would be offended at the prospect of it. But if I don't then James is right. Uggh, that would be horrible. "Hi honey, you were right and I am a complete idiot. Can we please just go and get married so that I never have to think for myself again?!"No. I can't go back to him. Not right now. Not yet.

"What are you doing here?"

At the sound of the address she was startled. In the instant that followed she was relieved, the deep, sly voice was familiar. But then she realized that it wasn't – at least not as familiar as she would have liked it to be.

"I thought it would be obvious." She snarled, turning to face him as she lifted her bottle in the air.

"Women like you don't drink in places like this."

Lily contemplated the comment. Then she contemplated the man that the comment had come from. Then, she contemplated James. Arrogant bastard. Thinks he knows everything. Well, he doesn't. He doesn't know Severus and he doesn't know me.

She turned to the man that had sat down next to her. He was smirking at her. He's just as bad as James. He's just like James. There had always been something about him that drew her towards him. She had never been able to put her finger on it.

Grinning, she looked at him, placed her finger on his nose.

"Maybe I'm not the kind of a woman you think I am."

No. It can't be. Just no. I refuse to accept it.

But God, how could this happen?

James – he loves me so much. He is going to be my husband. What would he do if he found out? This would hurt him. And yeah, he can be a jerk, but he doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I am supposed to be worrying about my dress and whether to go with white, off-white, strapless, corseted, ball-gown, or whatever. I should be thinking about taffeta. Not this.

How could I tell him?

I can't. I can't tell him. But I need to tell someone. Who? Sirius? He's James' best friend. He would hate me forever. And make James do the same. Remus? No. He owes me. He'd be more understanding. But he's still James' friend. I couldn't put him – wouldn't put him – into that kind of situation. Peter? No, I couldn't tell him. He'd tell James immediately. He needs James' friendship too much to risk it like this. Severus? No. Not Severus. He – he would probably take it worse than James. Besides, he isn't my friend. Not anymore.

God. There is no one. What can I do? How can I – I can't. I can't tell anybody. No one can find out.

I need to leave. Now.

I can't get rid of it. I couldn't live with myself if I did.

But I can fix it. I just need the right spells. And a little bit of time and space.