Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma or any part of the tenchi franchise. If I did do you honestly think I'd be writing fan fiction? I am not an English major, don't expect perfect grammatical prose , in fact you might want to expect the frequent use of sentence fragments and ellipses… because that is how I write.

A Cabbit's Chronicle

Written by Gabriel R. Lopez

Tsunami was late. Today was the day the council would choose the next queen of Juraihelm and she was late. Oh poo. Ramia must have sabotaged her alarm clock when she came over for tea, that bitch! …oh well, she probably wouldn't be selected for queen anyway, and being five minutes late was about the same as being thirty minutes late. That meant she had time for more important things like flower arrangement, and the internet… "and I would have had the prettiest pink dictatorship too." Tsunami thought a loud as she joyfully watered the flowers in her garden. After that she made waffles, and fantasized about happy peanuts soaring over chocolate covered mountain tops, and waterfalls of caramel.

Tsunami was awaken by the royal guard, her face in the plate of waffles and syrup laced with GHB. It was clear Ramia really wanted to be queen, honestly going through that much trouble to stop Tsunami from reaching the palace in time to make their final decision. Thankfully the council anticipated this sort of thing, after allowing Tsunami to recover …which took the sum total of an hour or more. Tsunami was rushed to the palace, and she entered the council chamber casually flipping her hair over shoulder.

Ramia had been impatiently waiting for the last two hours, for a time her only competition was that Roombah girl who no one cared about. When Tsunami arrived she was in shock… mockingly she asked what Tsunami had been up too.

"Oh I was watering my flowers" Tsunami then thought about confronting Ramia, but thought better of it...

The head of the council cleared his throat. "as you all know the queen died last year and now the council needs a new puppet to stand before the throne and look pretty, while we…the members of the Juraihelm council, do all manner of wicked deeds from behind the shadows." of course this isn't exactly what was said but what the council was thinking "Roombah, step forward."

The girl to the left of Tsunami stepped forward obediently.

"As queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"I suppose I would continue the humanitarian work of our previous queen" Roombah replied. The council murmured amongst themselves.

"Thank you Roombah, Ramia Step forward" Ramia stepped forward. "As queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"I'm glad you asked." A giant view screen appeared out of nowhere. " I noticed a severe lack of social programs for children and families, and so if we offer subsidies for families that have lots of babies, and if there were more tax breaks for the rich, there would be less homeless, because the money would trickle down to homeless children in poor nations, and I think we should instate corporal punishment for the parents of families that get a divorced, and we need free universal health care for children under the age of -"

"Enough! Tsunami, as queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"um…I'd probably just plant flowers everywhere, and have I mentioned how much I love puppies and world peace?"

The council murmered… "Tsunami, congratulations, you are the new queen of Juraihelm."

"Yippee!" Tsunami squealed in delight.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ramia cried in outrage as she was forcefully escorted out of the council chamber by the royal guard. Lady Roombah left the council chamber quietly and without incident.

"Ok, as queen of Juraihelm you must now venture forth to restore the balance of good and evil in the magical kingdom… in order to do this you must restore the balance of good and evil on another planet first."

"Why is that?" Tsunami asked

"um…practice makes perfect." he said

"But it could take me a whole lifetime to restore the balance of good and evil on another planet, are you sure it wouldn't' be easier to start here and then -"

"Don't Question the authority of the council!"

"ok." Tsunami smiled

"Excellent, you must get started at once. Find a child who is pure of heart and…

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

"Lady Tsunami! Why have- What have you done to me?" Ryo Ohki was shocked as looked over his new body, he appeared to have become some kind of lagomorph.

"I've turned you into a cat. It's a species native to the planet Earth that I read about in the archives, and I'm sending you there to find a little girl who is pure of heart." Tsunami said as she picked up the little cabbit and used her magic to turn him into a round object roughly the size and shape of softball.

"But why c-cant I go to earth in my original body?" Ryo Ohki asked as tears welled up in his eyes.

Tsunami thought about it for a moment, turning someone she thought of as her little brother into a weak defenseless animal and sending him to an alien world was excessively cruel… oh well, "Good Luck!" She cried as she tossed Poor Ryo Ohki out of the airlock of the spaceship. According to her calculations he would probably land somewhere in China…she knew the girl was on earth somewhere and China was as good a place as any to start looking as any.

6 YEARS LATER…

"Sploosh!"

"Aiyah! Young Mister customer fall into spring of drowned Girl, tragic story of…oh sorry, my mistake, it spring of drowned cat humping a rabbit, is tragic story of forbidden romance between cat and rabbit that drown 1500 year ago."

"WHAT!" Ranma, the neo cabbit cried in outrage after his kitten sized body struggled to crawl out of the spring. with the mop of hair and water clogging up his ears he only heard part of the conversation.

an angry panda bear glared at the guide...then magically produced a sign which read "you're kidding, right?"

"not first time springs mix animal, there spring of drown Yeti riding a bull carrying eel just over there."

Genma flipped the sign "is there a cure?"

"sure hot water make you normal, but cold water change you back. Come to my hut I fix you up. Then we go to amazon village for snoo snoo fun yes."