My Final Song
By Kitara Lira
A few quick notes before you read. First, italics denote the thoughts, the bolded italics are the lyrics to the song. That is correct, song. This is my first song based fiction so I hope you enjoy. I don't own the song, sad I know.
It wasn't about the money.
It wasn't about the fame.
It was about the reason.
The narrow hallway was bustling with life. Men with head sets running one direction hollering something over their two way sets; people with slicked back hairdos head in the opposite direction; with a few randomly scattered about holding articles of clothing, microphones, flowers or even nothing at all. The noise seemed all show as nothing appeared to be actually done.
Out of one of the unlabelled doors along the side a rather short man stepped out, groaning at the incompetence before slamming his hands together continually – all attention focused in on him, "Would someone like to tell me what you are all doing roaming about?!" The voice came off in a shockingly stern and threatening tone, "The show starts in ten minutes and all you people can think to do is stand about gossipping!? Get your asses moving now or I will fire every single one of you do you hear me!" That was all that was needed to spark the flame within those lost souls. The hallway ignited with a determination, no longer a lost cause disguised by idle chatter. With those outside finally doing their job, the small man stepped back into the room, shutting the door with a heavy sigh.
A soft chuckle emanated from the opposite side of the room. The voice, rougher then the man's and certainly more deep, belonged to a seated figure. Facial features clouded by the shadowing of a single light source some ways away, the figure aimed to speak, the voice offering a soothing chill, "You threaten them in every city we come to, it is any wonder they even take you seriously Horoshi. You're like a lion with no bite!" The statement caused the figure to fold forth in a bout of mirthful laughter.
"Hmph," Arms defiantly folded across his chest, bottom lip jutted forward in a scowl, the young man seemed displeased, but nevertheless not overly upset by the statement. It was the show; the tough act they both played well. Moments passes and not a word was spoke, the laughter having subsided short moments ago. Limbs falling weakly to his side, the man titled Horoshi took a seat just to the right of his companion, offering a look of concern, "… You know you don't have to do this kid… We can always come back. Do the show another time."
More silence – and this not as comfortable as the past silence had been. It was true, this could wait. Time could go by. Things could get better. But who were they kidding? Things wouldn't get better and they both knew that. Things wouldn't change and time would do nothing. Back into the comforts of the chair fell the figure, a sigh escaping pale lips, "No… the show must go on Horoshi, we can't just stop…"
"Then let the show go on, just leave it out! We can do it another time! In another place! When…" In his voice the plea was evident. He was almost upon his knees, begging that the decision be rethought. But it seemed minds were set, or at least one.
"Horoshi!" The figure cut in angrily, fists slamming down on the arms of the chair, "I am not leaving it out! In fact it is the only reason I agreed to do this! Either you accept that or you don't! I am set on this and nothing you say will change that!"
"… I…" He attempted to speak, but fell silent thinking over his words bitterly. He wished that the figure wasn't so dead set upon doing this. He knew it would only cause the both of them more pain in the end. But when the mind was set… only once did it change… only once. Another sigh escaped him, "Fine, we do it your way, but don't say I didn't warn you kid." Clasping a firm hand upon the ridged figure's shoulder, Horoshi nodded before exiting the room, "You're on in five. I hope it's everything you wanted."
As the door slipped shut, the tense frame crumpled back, a lone streak of something catching the few rays of dim light as it slide down the sunken frame, "I don't… I don't want it… What I want… I can't have…" In a quick grab, the figure snatched the nearby black jacket, tossing it over their frame before taking a quick look over at the mirror hanging upon the back of the door. Ragged locks framed the face, bagged under the eyes were covered with heavy amounts of stage makeup and the lips attempted a smile, "Let's get this done with." Murmured the figure softly to the reflection, scoffing lightly at the absurdity of the entire situation, before stepping out into the hall.
-
Before a crowd of thirty thousand, Horoshi stepped out onto the stage. Clipped to the tie of his suit hung the microphone, an air of sophistication resonating from his petite frame. A round of cheers echoed through the enclosed space, something Horoshi was accustomed to as he waited patiently for things to settle down. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. As I am sure you are all aware, tonight's performance is special in more then one way." An eerie silence hung over the occupants, all holding the same dread within, "Tonight will be a festive celebration of ten years of music from our wonderful singer. Ten years of laughter; of tears; and of wonderful songs. But as all good things, they must eventually come to an end. For you, you are the lucky few who will bear witness to not only the last performance, but the last song written by our beloved singer. So, without further ado, I present to you, for the last time: The Lone Wolf!" Bowing and stepping back, the figure from earlier stepped onto the stage, a deafening response erupting from the crowd.
"Thank you Horoshi," Spoke the figure softly when the roars had dulled enough. Turning to the faces of the crowd, the gentle, yet rough voice rang clear. Not a soul spoke, all simply admired, listened, and absorbed, "I want to thank you all for coming to my last performance. As you know I am sure, I am retiring after tonight." Protest rang through the space, thirty thousand voices rising in unison, but it wasn't enough. Calmly, with arms raised, the figure remained in control, "Please, it was a hard decision, but I feel it is the right thing. So with that, let me play for you while my time still remains."
Upon the middle of the stage a grand piano was now present – courtesy of the stage hands. Taking a seat, fingers poised, a soothing sound fell with each stroke, the calm voice heralding the set of lyrics that belonged with each key.
-
It was time for the final song, navy blue tresses swayed lazily at the air conditioning. A smile dawning those pale lips, the Lone Wolf turned to the audience, "This next piece is my last I will ever perform. I wrote it several months ago when I am sure…" Head shaking back and forth, the figure kept the thought inside, "It is an important piece to me and I wanted to wait for the right moment. It took forever to discern just when that moment would be, but I found it, and now I would like to play it not only for you, but for the world. To all those who have ever known what it is to lose; to those who have ever felt the sting of rejection; or the talons of remorse. Let this song ring through your hearts and let the words find their own truth within you. Though they are only words, they are my final words." With that, the attention was turned back to the keys, a deep breath drawn in.
I wish this could be
A happy song
Slender fingers crawled across the keys in a low sombre voice.
But my happiness disappeared
The moment you were gone
Orbs of emerald fell closed as all thoughts became lost within the lyrics; lyrics that rang up from the past. From the past and from the heart.
Don't think I ever believed that
This day would come
Had it truly been seven months? No… eight months, two weeks and six days… Funny before then dates never meant a thing…
Now all I'm feeling
Is lost and numb
The memories; the pain. The months spent trying to retrain that frame of mind, to move on. Anything but to remember! Drugs were prescribed, doctors were requested, those damn people in their chairs with those clipboards hounding you with questions!
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I would try
Failed, we had all failed. What happens when you broke the one thing that was ever right? When the world stopped spinning? You die right? Then how come it didn't happen? Why didn't we die… why didn't I…
But I, yes I, miss you
And it's killing inside
I remember coming home to an empty world… where the light didn't shine and the flowers had all stopped blooming. They all knew… why didn't I?
I'll always be thankful
For the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
But I feel too sad
iven everything, everything! But like a selfish child I failed to appreciate it, I failed to truly love that which was mine. To me, I was handed everything and yet still… I was so blind.
All the wonderful memories
Just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody's
Stabbed me in my heart
Why did I have to be so stupid? Why didn't you tell me… Or maybe you did. I just wasn't listening.
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I wouldn't cry
I can feel the tears brimming these hollow orbs, but I must not let them fall. To them I am strength; reason. I cannot allow weakness to show through, least they will fall too.
But I, yes I, miss you
And it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
Want you by my side
Do you remember that time at the beach? The sandcastle? The wave that took it down? The crab that held fast to your favourite blue spring dress? I do… I do…
Walking, holding hands
Talking, making plans
Touching my heart my soul
The way you smiled, or called my name, did you know it sent shivers down my spine? That just the touch of your fingertips was enough to make me weak…
I wish this could be
A happy song
But my happiness disappeared
The moment you were gone
Tell me it's not happening
Say it's not as it seems
Tell me that I'm gonna wake up
It's just a bad dream
Please tell me that it's fiction
Tell me it's just a lie
Whatever you choose to tell me
Please say he didn't die
The voice sang on, its viewers lost in another world. From that figure seated before the piano, yes from that figure, came the words of an angel. Words that rang true to so many; words that affected so many. Lovers held each other closer, friends smiled to each other thinking of loved ones back at home waiting for them.
And I, yes I, miss you
And it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
Want you by my side
Ooh well I, miss you
Want you by my side
Back here by my side
Here by my side
I love you, wait for me. I know I messed up. I know I was selfish. But if you will allow me one more selfish wish, I wish that you will wait for me. I will find you, regardless of time, regardless of the barriers, someday we will be together. When I will take you for a walk down the beach, dance with you through the rain, cry with you through the pain. In a world all our own, I will treat you like the princess you are. Show you the love you deserve.
Before I was stupid, and it took me to lose you in order to finally see. I won't cry, not until I am with you. I won't feel, not until I am with you. So please, please just wait for me. Whether in this world, or the next, I will find you and unlike in this world I will not make that mistake. I swear to you, to all the people of this world! For never again will I let it happen. Never.
The room of thirty thousand plus one performer was soundless. Not a word was spoken. No more thanks, no last goodbye, just one final bow before the figure named the Lone Wolf walked away from the star light and into the darkness. No one spoke, as if to honour the song and its daunting lyrics as well as its fading performer.
Tabloids questioned the disappearance, but any true supporter of the Lone Wolf knew; she was searching. That's right, she. She was searching for her beloved, the one person who had ever meant something to her. It had been tragic; it was the perfect love story. But nothing is perfect – especially not here, not in the light of the famous.
-
Horoshi closed the newspaper, that sigh echoing deep from within. His hazel orbs drifted over to the small huddle of picture frames that sat upon his desk. One was that of him and his wife on the day of their wedding. The next was that of his two daughters and the new pup he had bought them years ago. And the last was that of him and two other women. One with light honey hair seemed to be clinging to the back of the slightly smaller blue haired woman, next to them Horoshi stood in the frame. All were laughing; all were toasting to the new found success.
It had been two years since the last performance then disappearance of the Lone Wolf. Some speculate she had run away, to some place in Peru. Others said she was disguised among them just waiting to pop back out. But he knew. She was gone. That one had always been foolish, too quick to jump. Hazel orbs glazed with sadness as he allowed them to linger on the frame. Those two were like family and now he had lost both of them. He should have never let her get in the car. He should have never let her out of his sight. He should have never let sing that song. So many things he never should have let happen, but they did.
Chair creaking back, Horoshi stared blankly at the white ceiling, "I wonder if they're together where ever they are…"
-
"Not fair!" A fair skinned woman whined with a pout, causing the other to chuckle softly before wrapping the other in a warm embrace.
"It was more then fair my Ruru," Purred the slightly taller figure, nuzzling her nose in the nape of the other's neck.
"Suki! That tickles!" The first squealed childishly, attempting to swat at the teasing girl, but with only a half hearted attempt.
Both women ended in a heap upon the tall grass, their laughter mixing together in the most delightful sound.
"Don't ever leave me again love… it hurts too much to be without you…" Whispered the taller dark haired woman, a sudden fear gripping her heart.
All it took was a gentle kiss from the other, and a comforting squeeze of their intertwined fingers, "I will never leave you again, I promise. We'll always be together. Forever and ever." Leaning forth, another kiss was exchanged. It wasn't rushed, it wasn't weak. It was a perfect kiss. A kiss of meaning; of love, "I love you Natsuki."
A warm smile graced her facial features, stray tears escaping her eyes, "As I love you Shizuru. I promise you, no matter what we will always be together. Always."
Author Note: And there you have it, my first song fiction. I have spent the last few hours instead of sleeping, slaving away at the keyboard to bring you this. At first I wasn't going to identify the two, but I decided against that. I figured there is enough speculating for this piece.
Originally I actually was going to write a fluff for Thanksgiving (as I am Canadian and today is Thanksgiving) but my drive home greatly changed that fluff writing mood and so instead you get this! I wouldn't call it angst, but I wouldn't call it fluff either. Ah... I don't know what you would call it, I just know that it is writing and writing that I have been working on for a few hours too many. I have to be up and getting ready for class in six hours... oh well.
I hope you enjoy, the song if you're wonder is Missing You by Jem.
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