Hello readers! It's been only a few days since episode 13 of Merlin series 5 and I'm still...coping. This a way for me to do so, because some things just asdlakdjf. I hope you enjoy reading how I want this to "end". Little note at the very end of this as well :). Have fun reading! Obviously this stuff belongs to legends and Shine and the BBC.
It had been a month. A month since an empty void was left in Guinevere Pendragon's heart. One that could never be filled. The ache may dull over time, but there was still the vast, empty feeling that would remain.
She refused to sit on the throne Arthur always occupied. She remained on the right side, her own throne. Arthur's throne would remain as a reminder of the brilliant ruler who had made Camelot what it was today. Prospering, strong... victorious.
Since the defeat of the Saxons it had been silent at Camelot's borders. No neighbouring kingdoms had thought to invade Camelot with only a mourning queen ruling it. Not that they could; Leon had assured Gwen that the men's spirits hadn't dulled with the loss of their king. No, they had become more resolved to protect what Arthur had left behind.
It had given the queen peace of mind; it had given her time to try and deal with her husband's death.
It took effort. Guinevere forced herself to go out of their bedroom once or twice a day. Her appetite hadn't fully returned yet, but she could stomach soups. Gaius helped her as best as he could, though he had his own worries.
Merlin hadn't returned to Camelot since Guinevere had felt Arthur passing.
Gaius didn't say much about it, not wanting to bother Gwen with his own worries when she was mourning, but Guinevere wished he would. Merlin was her friend too, even more so after hearing his return to the battlefield to aid Arthur. Not to mention using his magic, all these years, to protect Camelot and its king from magic.
Guinevere sat by the slightly ajar window, looking out on the castle square. It was early in the morning, but she found it hard to sleep any more. So instead she sat by the window, watching how Camelot's citizens, half awake, dragged themselves towards the castle or to another part of town. A few knights were visible too, moving to train themselves early in the morning. Guards who had just changed shifts were returning home to their families.
As that thought passed her mind, Guinevere's heart clenched. Families. She and Arthur had wanted to start one, of course they did. But they had both agreed that with Morgana out there, trying everything to kill Arthur, it would be dangerous to have children. Morgana had not been beyond using a child as leverage.
Now of course, Morgana wasn't a problem any more. Nobody had heard of her since Percival and Gwaine had attacked her. The Saxons had fled, leaderless.
Gaius made Guinevere a potion to make sure pregnancy would be the least of their worries. Now, Guinevere regretted this decision above all. She had succeeded Arthur, but who would after her? The noble blood of the Pendragons had died out with Arthur.
Guinevere rubbed the tears from her cheeks, resting a hand against her forehead. A tell-tale headache was starting up, and she got up to get the medicine for it from the bedside table.
She carefully let a drop fall into a goblet with water, and began to down the contents in the hope that it would help soon, before she'd collapse like she had several times the past two weeks.
As Guinevere drank, she could hear hooves bang down onto the cobbles below on the square, in a slow trot.
Frowning slightly at this, she continued drinking, wondering who would be arriving so early in the morning on horseback.
Then, one of the knights waiting to take the horse from the stranger, cried out in surprise.
'Merlin!'
Guinevere spat out the water she'd been drinking.
It had taken him at least half an hour to get past the bridge on horseback. Not that his horse was unwilling. He, however was.
Merlin had taken a deep breath in the end, told himself that he had to do this, and with eyes closed tightly had steered his horse into the city of Camelot.
He had noticed how people stared after him when they saw who had passed. Behind his back they whispered. Some nodded at him in respect, sympathy even.
Merlin wanted to nod back, but found that he couldn't - being in Camelot had brought such an onslaught of memories that he'd completely numbed. It was a good thing his horse was doing the walking, otherwise he'd have been standing in the streets for a long, long time.
What he did notice through the numbness was the sadness that filled the city. A city bustling with life, teeming with people, all feeling sorrow for the loss of their king.
In a way, that made Merlin happy. It meant they had truly loved their king, and that those feelings had been genuine.
He arrived on the castle square, where a young knight - Merlin thought his name was Balen - gaped at him, before loudly saying: 'Merlin!'
Guess my absence has been noticed, then, Merlin thought dully as he forced his limbs to work again, and dismounted his mare.
'Can you take her to the stables, get someone to give her a good rub down?' He asked the knight who was still staring at him. 'We've ridden all night, she needs her rest.'
'O...of course,' Balen nodded, taking the reigns and leading the horse away when Merlin had taken his pack off.
Merlin stood in front of the staircase for a while, looking up at it. He wanted to turn right back around and leave Camelot again, but now he was here he knew he couldn't. People had seen him now. The news would spread. Gaius and Guinevere would know he'd been here, and he couldn't bear the thought of leaving them in pain. He was sure his long absence had hurt them enough already...
So he took a deep breath, hitched his pack higher up his back, and began to ascend the steps.
Gaius had finally slept a few hours, after having forced himself to take a potion for it. His worry for Merlin and Gwen had begun to take its toll on his old, weary body. He felt better when he woke up.
A strange but pleasant smell drifted around in his chambers. He could distantly hear the water boiling above the stove, and wondered if he'd left the fire on overnight. Gaius was sure he hadn't.
Only then did a single thought make his eyes snap open. He sat up, and looked around.
At one of the tables, Merlin sat, two cups of warm tea in front of him. He smiled briefly at his mentor. 'Hello, Gaius.'
'Merlin?' Gaius reached for his glasses, and put them on. 'You're back?'
The boy...no, man, nodded once. 'I've some tea for you. Herbs that don't grow around here. Thought you might enjoy it.'
'Oh my dear boy...' Gaius scrambled to get to his feet, and the first thing he did was hug his ward tightly. Merlin returned it, though he gave no sign of the grief that Gaius saw in his clear blue eyes.
Gaius sat himself opposite Merlin, sniffing the tea curiously when Merlin put the cup in front of him. 'What is it?'
Merlin smiled at the old man's never-ending curiosity. 'Baldmoney, or Muilceann. It's sweet.'
Gaius tried a sip, and looked up at Merlin with surprise. 'Wherever did you find it?'
Merlin shrugged, taking a sip of his own, sweet tea. 'Up north. The locals use it to sweeten their food.'
'How far up north?'
Merlin closed his eyes. 'Far.'
Gaius sighed, lowering his tea and looked at Merlin. Really looked.
The poor boy looked at least ten years older now. He was pale, paler than Gaius remembered him, and his eyes were those of someone who'd seen too many bad things in his short life.
'What happened, Merlin?'
And with a sigh and a deep sadness, Merlin told Gaius what had happened. That Arthur had made it to the Lake of Avalon on the back of Kilgharrah, only to give in to death there.
When Merlin fell silent, Gaius reached out and tightly grasped Merlin's cold hand. 'I'm sorry.'
Merlin, who hadn't shed a tear so far, looked up at Gaius with watery eyes. 'As am I. But it couldn't be helped. He tried to hold on, he really did.'
'What did you do after? You've been away so long...'
Merlin sighed, rubbed his eyes with his free hand, and took a sip of his now much colder tea before he said anything. 'I buried him in the Lake of Avalon. He's...he's there now. After that I just...travelled. Got used to the idea that Arthur isn't here any more.'
Gaius frowned. 'What are you saying?'
A wan little smile appeared on Merlin's lips as he looked up at Gaius. 'Oh Gaius, you should know this better than me. The Lake of Avalon is...special, after all.'
'So?'
Merlin shrugged, smiling still. 'So Arthur may not be here any more, but...'
Gaius stared at Merlin, who looked back calmly, still a little smile on his lips.
'Arthur's...?' Gaius said slowly, and Merlin nodded. 'He is.'
Gaius shook his head, taking his hand off Merlin's to hold his cup with both hands. 'But why? Why would the magic of Avalon do such a thing?'
Merlin looked down at his tea, and heated it with magic. As steam rose up once again, he glanced up at Gaius who nodded and took his hands from the cup. With a golden glow in his eyes, Merlin heated up Gaius's tea as well, its sweet smell spreading through the room quickly.
'Kilgharrah was there, when Arthur...- 'Merlin took a deep breath, swallowed, and carried on. 'He told me that Arthur is the once and future king. "When Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again." Once has passed...and now we wait for the future.'
Merlin looked surprised when Gaius smiled with watery eyes. 'It means he gets a second chance then...that is good news to hear.'
Merlin stared at him, blinking fast, before a small smile graced both his lips and his eyes. 'I...I hadn't thought of it like that.' He looked down at his tea, silent for a moment. 'Thank you, Gaius,' he finally said.
Gaius, happy to see his ward smile despite his sorrow, raised his cup. When Merlin, somewhat hesitant, did the same, Gaius smiled and said: 'To the future.'
Running through the castle was a hazard with skirts on. Guinevere knew this from past experience, and yet again she cursed. Servant's clothing was much more easy to run with.
Merlin, she thought, must get to Merlin!
He had truly been there, down on the square, staring up at the castle. He hadn't seen her, but if he had looked at her window he'd have seen Guinevere smile through her tears. It was as if the muscles in her face had finally remembered how to smile. A lightness had spread in her heart that she hadn't felt for far too long.
After finding her servant and getting dressed in her black, mourning dress, she'd not bothered with the usual crown or doing much with her hair beside comb it. She knew there'd be talk of it from the nobles, but right now she didn't care. She was, after all, still Gwen, the common girl who sewed clothing and had been a servant in the castle. And this Gwen was looking for her friend, Merlin.
Guinevere knew exactly where Merlin would have gone; Gaius' chambers, his home. It was on the other side of the castle, and when Guinevere finally reached the physician's chamber she was out of breath, her muscles aching.
But she did not pause; she didn't even knock. Gwen threw the door of Gaius's chambers open, and could only stare for a moment when Merlin, shocked by the sudden intrusion, stared back at her.
'Merlin,' she whispered, her voice shaking. A look of sympathy crossed Merlin's face, as he got up from his seat, and walked to her to take her into his arms and hug her, tightly.
The tears came again, and Merlin just held her. Only he could understand her sorrow, Gwen knew. Nobody else, only Merlin.
She didn't know how long they stood there, in the doorway, until Merlin led her to sit down at the table where Gaius had watched them.
Guinevere clung onto Merlin, afraid he'd disappear again even though deep down she knew he wouldn't.
Gais got up to get her something to drink, and clearly to give them a bit of time alone.
'I'm sorry Gwen,' Merlin finally sighed, looking tired. 'About everything.'
Gwen sniffled, and used the sleeve of her dress to dry her face a little. 'It's...it's okay, Merlin, really. But you were gone so long, Gaius and I were so worried...!'
'I'm sorry for that, too,' he said slowly, taking her hand in his and squeezing gently before letting go again. 'I wasn't ready to come back here yet...'
Gaius returned, putting down a cup of sweet-smelling tea in front of her. To give herself something to do, Gwen took it into her hands and tightly held the stone cup, despite its heat.
Merlin looked as bad as she did, Guinevere noted. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten well for quite a while, much like her. His hair was slightly longer than usual.
'Where were you all this time?' She finally asked when both men remained quiet.
'I travelled,' Merlin answered. 'Up north. Learned new things, saw new things...remembered.'
Guinevere looked down at her tea, biting her lip.
'You became queen.' It wasn't a question. When Gwen looked up she saw Merlin looking at the ring around her neck. 'Yes.'
A smile, one she hadn't expected, appeared on his face. 'Good. Arthur would have wanted that.'
The mention of his name made her stomach sink, like it always did. Merlin saw this, and took a deep breath.
'He's buried at the Lake of Avalon. Gave him a ship burial.'
Merlin's voice shook ever-so-slightly. Anyone who didn't know him well wouldn't have noticed. Gwen and Gaius both did, though Gaius wasn't surprised - the two of them had probably talked about this already to some degree.
Gwen swallowed with difficulty, and rested a hand on Merlin's shoulder. 'Thank you, Merlin.'
Gaius scraped his throat. 'I should probably start my rounds,' he announced, getting up and throwing on his physician's robes. He gave Gwen a meaningful look before leaving the chambers.
Guinevere bit her lip, wondering how she should start the conversation she also really needed to have with Merlin. He seemed tormented about something, though he refused to speak. So Gwen knew she had to start.
'Thank you for helping at the battlefield. I saw what you did.'
Merlin, already pale, paled even more. He refused to look up at her, instead stared down at the table as the grip he had on his cup tightened. 'Did Gaius tell you?' He said in a voice that feigned calmness.
Gwen smiled, and leaned so that she could look at his face. 'He only confirmed what I suspected.'
His eyes flickered up to hers, confusion and surprise in them. 'You suspected ... ?'
Gwen nodded. 'It took a while, I admit. You suddenly leaving Arthur's side ...it was unlike you. Something had to be very, very wrong.'
She leaned back, looking into her own, half-downed cup. 'And then, suddenly, someone shows up on the battlefield, helping Arthur when his army is overrun by Saxons and he himself can't fend off his attackers any longer. Defeats the majority of the army with just a few commands. And then this...sorcerer - 'she glanced up to see Merlin stare at her' - comes to take Arthur away. Gaius disappears a day later, and tells me when he returns that you are taking care of Arthur.' She smiled at him again. 'Don't tell me it's not an obvious conclusion to make, Merlin.'
Merlin was silent, looking at her. Then he closed his eyes for a long second, and shook his head. 'No, it's not.'
'You are a sorcerer.'
'I am.'
Guinevere put her cup down, and hugged him again. Merlin was stiff, as though he'd expected something else, a slap in the face perhaps.
'I'm pleased,' Gwen said when she released a surprised Merlin. 'I can't think of anyone better to be a sorcerer, and I can't think of another sorcerer who I'd rather have seen taking care of my husband.'
Merlin's lip shook, tears gathered in his eyes. 'Gwen...' he said softly, his hand shaking. 'I...thank you.' His shoulders began to shake as he covered his face with his hands.
'Oh Merlin,' Gwen whispered, rubbing his back while tears of her own trailed down her cheeks. 'Why didn't you ever tell us?'
'Arthur...Arthur asked the same thing,' Merlin managed to say with difficulty, lowering his hands. 'He told me he wasn't sure what he would have done if I'd told him.'
'And what did you say?' Gwen asked gently.
'That I didn't want to put him in that position,' Merlin managed to choke out.
Guinevere felt tears well up again. 'But he didn't mind in the end, did he.'
Merlin shook his head.
'Nor do I, Merlin. I'm sure that, given time, none of us will. Leon, Percival...they won't mind.'
Merlin looked up, his eyes red. 'What are you saying?' He asked her, eyes wide.
'I want you to stay here,' Gwen told him. 'Stay here, help Gaius with his duties. Help me...help me in matters that involve magic. Advise me. If Arthur can accept magic, then so can Camelot...given the right approach and time.'
Guinevere knew she would remember the look on Merlin's face for as long as she lived; afraid, surprised, overwhelmed...but above all, she saw his appreciation for her words, his desperation to have something to focus on in the future.
Merlin struggled to speak, and when he did his answer pleased Queen Guinevere to no end: 'Of course.'
With Merlin back, Camelot seemed to come back to life again, slowly. The queen was seen outside more often, slowly began to take up her duties as queen of Camelot. She could be seen talking to Merlin often, talking about Arthur. It seemed to help them both a lot.
Merlin spent his time both at Guinevere's side and in Gaius's chambers, or in the woods where he could be found collecting herbs. Sometimes he'd be gone, where nobody could find him, and when he returned he would go straight to the queen. There were whispers that he was up to something, but nothing ever really happened.
Not that the citizens of Camelot knew, anyway.
Guinevere was up to what Merlin was doing, she asked him to do it after all. The Druids were still weary of Camelot, and Guinevere had asked Merlin to help her gain their trust. As Emrys, he was sure to be able to get them to listen.
Guinevere knew much more about Merlin than she ever thought she would; that he was a sorcerer - later Gaius would tell her about just how powerful Merlin was because the man himself refused to speak of it -, that he was a Dragonlord, she even managed to get him to slow time once and move himself from one place to the other in the space of a second. And the best thing of it was to see the joy Merlin had when Guinevere asked him such things; he truly enjoyed his gift, even when he still had to keep it secret from most.
Percival had discovered by accident; he'd walked into the throne room when Merlin showed Gwen all kinds of shapes in the embers of the fireplace. He hadn't panicked, hadn't even drawn his sword. He had just stood there, frozen on the spot. Percival had only been surprised, not afraid. It had surprised Merlin more than Guinevere.
'I know you're good, Merlin,' Percival had said. 'We all know that. You couldn't hurt an innocent fly,' he'd added with a grin, before giving Guinevere a report from one of the patrols on the south of Camelot and leaving them.
Leon had been less amused. He'd grown up in Camelot, under Uther's reign, fearing and despising magic. He didn't speak to Merlin for a couple of days and eyed the man suspiciously, but slowly came to accept Merlin's gift.
The townspeople began to learn that Merlin's skills were just as good as those of Gaius. He always made sure to do everything he could to heal those who needed aid, even the poorest of the city. If there were outbreaks of diseases in villages, he'd go there to care of them. Gaius had his work lessened and was glad for it, "with my old age".
Still, one thing gnawed at Guinevere's mind. Arthur's grave site.
It had been three months now, and though she was doing better, closure was one thing she couldn't gain just yet.
'Merlin?' She asked one day, when he was about to leave a meeting he'd attended with the council. 'Can I ... ask you something?'
'Of course,' he said with a smile.
Guinevere waited for the room to be empty, and signalled the guards to close the doors.
'Merlin, I wish to see Arthur's grave site,' she told him bluntly. Merlin looked slightly uncomfortable, though she didn't know why. 'Can you take me there?'
Merlin took a moment to answer her. 'I...can. But I'm not sure if I should, yet.'
Guinevere was puzzled. 'Why?'
Merlin gave her a look, with eyes that seemed years older than he was. 'I can't tell you, not now. But the lake...it's special, Gwen. Give it a little more time, I promise you'll see it soon. But not yet.'
She tried to convince him otherwise, but Merlin did not give in. So, Guinevere waited.
Two months later, Merlin stood looking out over the city from a tower high up in the castle. He enjoyed coming here; the sky was clear, and dawn was setting in. Stars could be seen high up, and Merlin listened to the stories they told.
It had been odd at first, to know the full extent of his powers. There had been so much he hadn't been able to see or hear before the Crystal Cave. But now, if he wanted to, he could listen to nature, see what it tried to tell him. Even the stars, so far out of reach, would tell stories of the future and the past, if only he opened himself up to it.
Then there was Aithusa. Without Morgana, the dragon had begun to wander, often attacking villages for no other reason than food. Merlin had heard of the attacks, and had tracked him down.
In the middle of the forest where he found the dragon's nest, Merlin had given him a long, angry speech about the mistakes it had made. Aithusa, already small, seemed to have shrunk under his angry gaze, and tried to apologise as best as he could without his ability to speak.
But Merlin was a Dragonlord, and despite his anger he couldn't leave the crippled dragon all alone. The creature needed guidance, and Kilgharrah could not give it any more. Though Merlin was very sure Kilgharrah was still...around, he could sense the old dragon's weariness of life, as the animal rested somewhere quiet and waited for his end.
Aithusa could not come with him into Camelot, but resided somewhere close. Every day Merlin went to teach him the tongue of Dragons, to teach him what creatures to hunt and how to kill them quick and painlessly. One thing Merlin couldn't remedy, though he wanted to, was that Aithusa could not grow any more. It took a long time for Merlin to discover why, but when the small dragon could speak he explained to his Dragonlord what had happened. It had shed light on Morgana's new hatred for Arthur, on her increased passion to free magic her own way. And despite everything that had happened, Merlin felt a strange kind of sympathy for her.
The wind caressed Merlin's face, and he woke from his thoughts. Frowning, he turned to the west where the wind had come from, and listened.
It took a few minutes before the warlock smiled, closing his eyes. 'I will tell her.'
Only then did he feel the presence behind him.
'Merlin, what are you doing up here?'
He turned around, still smiling, to face Gwen, who looked surprised. She gestured at the door. 'Leon saw you go up here a few hours ago...I've been looking for you to...' She paused when she took in his expression. 'What's going on?'
Merlin chuckled. 'It's time, Gwen.'
'Time for what?' She was utterly puzzled, even more when Merlin guided her back to the door and down the stairs.
'To visit the Lake of Avalon.'
It had been a three day ride to the lake. Merlin hadn't talked much - likely he remembered his journey with Arthur. Guinevere didn't really mind, though. She, too, was riddled with thoughts. Merlin had said that the lake was special, and for three long days she'd wondered why.
Now they stood on the shoreline, Guinevere holding flowers which she'd collected, held together by a golden string. She still wore her black dress.
'It's beautiful, Merlin,' she said after a long, long silence between the two. 'I'm glad you buried him here.'
Merlin, who'd had his eyes closed for a few minutes now, opened them and smiled at her. 'He was meant to be buried here, Gwen. The Lake of Avalon is very special.'
'You keep telling me,' Gwen said slowly, looking at him. He seemed...pleased. 'But why?'
'You'll know soon,' was all he said, and walked towards the water. With the water lapping at his feet, he stood there and looked over his shoulder at her. 'Come over here.'
Frowning slightly, Gwen joined him, the water soaking the toes of her shoes. Merlin turned, touched her shoulder and whispered: 'Look into the water, Gwen. Really look.'
And then he was gone. Likely used his ability to slow down time, Gwen thought with amusement, before glancing into the water.
All she saw were her shoes, slightly emerged, and the dirt that floated around in the otherwise clear water.
Really look. How was she supposed to do that? Damn you, Merlin.
Guinevere took a deep breath, tightening her grip on the flowers in her hands, and closed her eyes tightly. Really look.
She opened them again, and looked into the water again. But even after a few minutes, nothing seemed to have happened.
'Merlin,' she called over her shoulder. 'Are you sure this - ?'
'Guinevere.'
Gwen started, eyes wide. That voice...
'Look up, Guinevere.'
Suddenly, even lifting her head seemed impossible to do. But she needed to, so desperately, had to confirm...
A hand appeared in her vision, one strangely real...strangely familiar. It lifted her chin up.
Tears welled in her eyes as she looked into Arthur Pendragon's face, as he stood in front of her, looking as real as ever.
'It cannot be true,' she whispered, voice shaking. For a moment, Arthur looked sad, so very sad, as his hand touched her cheek. 'My dear Guinevere...' He looked away for a moment, likely to compose himself. 'I am here, for now. Believe that I am here with you for this moment.'
Gwen nodded, tears slipping down her face but a smile breaking through her sadness. 'I do, Arthur, I do...'
The flowers slipped from her fingers as she brought herself closer to him, her lips pressed against his colder ones. Arthur returned the kiss, if only briefly.
'My love, I don't have long,' he told her honestly. 'I don't have the strength to stay long yet.'
'Stay from where?' Gwen asked, holding onto him, her dress now beginning to soak up water.
'Avalon,' Arthur said, with a tiny smile. 'That is why Merlin brought me here. He intended to save me with the power of the lake, but instead fulfilled what destiny had intended for me all along.'
Guinevere stared at him. Destiny? Power of the lake? 'What are you saying?'
'I am the once and future king,' Arthur explained, his eyes going over her face, taking in every detail as his fingers ran through her hair. 'Once has come to pass, and now the future must come.' When Guinevere remained puzzled, Arthur chuckled. 'Ask Merlin, he'll know what I'm talking about.'
Guinevere shook her head, still very confused about what was happening. 'But Arthur...you're here, right in front of me.'
'I wait for another time,' Arthur said quietly, looking into her eyes. 'But Guinevere...I am not alive in your world. I...I can't come back with you.'
Tears welled up in her eyes. 'Arthur...' She bit her lip, looked over his shoulder at the tall tower standing on the island in the middle of the lake, and then back at him. 'Can't I come with you?'
Arthur looked pained. 'You can't. It isn't your destiny to die yet, you've still to rule over Camelot, as you've done so, so well the past months.'
Guinevere took a shaky breath, and then rested her head against Arthur's shoulder, which was cold and wet, but felt real none-the-less.
His hands stroked her back, smoothed over her hair, as they enjoyed their closeness.
Guinevere wrapped her arms around his wet, cold body, and felt him press his lips against her shoulder, then her neck, underneath her ear...
'My love,' she heard Arthur whisper, and before Guinevere knew it she was back in the arms of her husband, if only for a short time...
Merlin sat in the forest, by the horses, waiting with the animals and knowing full well what Arthur had intended with their visit. Arthur had learnt the ways of Avalon quick enough, and Merlin was pleased that Guinevere could see him again, for now.
It took long before Guinevere joined him, her dress partially soaked and she herself looking a bit flustered. 'He wants to see you,' she told him, with a sad smile on her face. Merlin could only imagine what she was currently feeling. He nodded, and went for the lake without pause.
Arthur stood in the water, waiting as the sun began to set behind him.
Merlin stopped in front of him. 'Hello Arthur.'
'Hello Merlin,' Arthur replied, smiling at his friend. 'Thank you for bringing Guinevere here. I wasn't sure if you'd hear me.'
Merlin laughed softly. 'Oh I heard you. You sounded desperate -'
'Shut up.'
Merlin did, though he still smiled.
'Being in Avalon...,' Arthur began, looking behind him. 'It's given me time to think back. Only now I've realised how much you've done for Camelot...for me.'
Merlin nodded, once. 'Only for you, Arthur.'
Arthur gave him a long look. 'Thank you, again, my friend.' Arthur looked at the forest, longing clearly visible on his face. 'I want to ask you...please keep doing what you did for me, for Camelot. For Guinevere. The knights.'
With a smile, Merlin shook his head. 'I already am, you needn't ask that. I serve Camelot in your honour, Arthur.'
And Arthur smiled, resting his hand on Merlin's shoulder for a moment. 'I should have known.' He closed his eyes tightly, and looked very sad. 'I have to leave. Before I do, I was asked to tell you hello.'
Merlin stared at him with confusion, before a watery smile appeared on his face. 'Freya?'
Arthur nodded. 'Will you accept my apology? For what I did -'
'You didn't know, Arthur,' Merlin told him, and meant it. 'Don't apologise.'
'I want to apologise, you idiot,' Arthur said sternly. 'So accept it.'
'You're a clotpole, even in the afterlife.'
Arthur opened his mouth, but then closed it. Silence fell between them.
'You have told Gwen that you can't do this often?' Merlin asked him after some time. Arthur nodded. 'Yes. Once every five years. You'll tell her when, won't you?'
'Of course.'
Arthur nodded, and sighed. 'I must go.' He began to walk back into the water, but paused when he was waist deep. 'One more question though...'
'Ask away.'
'When I...come back...' Arthur hesitated for a moment, but when Merlin didn't say anything he forced himself to continue. 'When I return in the future...will you be there as well?'
Merlin looked determined. 'I'll always be here...waiting for you, Arthur.'
Arthur looked back at him, looking somewhat relieved, before he disappeared into the water.
Guinevere was silent all the way back to Camelot. Merlin often tried to speak with her, but she refused to talk. He began to get worried that she might be angry with him, for keeping this a secret.
A day after their arrival back in Camelot, his worries were cleared away when she found him in Gaius's chambers.
'Merlin, are you in here?'
He straightened from binding a poultice together. 'Gwen!'
She smiled brightly at him, and walked into the room. 'I...I want to thank you, for taking me to the lake. For giving me the chance to see Arthur for a moment.'
'Oh Gwen,' Merlin said with a sigh, patting the space beside him on the bench for her to sit. 'I wouldn't keep that from you of all people. Arthur just wasn't ready yet.'
'Perhaps I wasn't either,' Gwen admitted. 'Still...he is gone.'
'He is.'
'Though not entirely.'
The way Gwen said it made Merlin look suspiciously at her. 'He'll always be in our memories, I know,' he said slowly, but Guinevere shook her head. 'Not just that, Merlin. I went to speak with Gaius earlier.'
Merlin remained puzzled. 'Are you ill?'
Guinevere chuckled. 'That may happen sooner or later, but...' She looked down, touched a hand to her stomach. 'We will see.'
She stood up, patted Merlin on the shoulder, and left the chambers.
Merlin let it all sink in, and suddenly his mind seemed to catch up on what Gwen was trying to tell him.
And he laughed.
A/N: THERE. It was painful to write (I had the Merlin soundtrack on and I cried during some of this...Like I said at the start, I'm coping.) but I did it anyway, and I hope you like it.
Feel to free to interpret Gwen's pregnancy the way you will: Either it happened on the eve of battle, maybe it happened at the lake...I'll leave that up to you :) For me, Arthur and Gwen were together because the two simply miss each other dearly, and Arthur regrets having to leave her behind. And, perhaps, as a bit of security...you never know, eh? ;) (thanks to HarunoKasumi for pointing that bit out...didn't realise it could raise some confusion!)
I like to think that Merlin goes through time protecting the Pendragon bloodline and such. Have the silent fantasy that in that alternate universe there's still some Pendragon to be found in the royal family of England, but I can't have everything (though it's fun to fantasise about it ;D). In this fic I couldn't just let the Pendragon bloodline go, so that explains the "BOOM! pregnant!" bit.
Oddly enough, I hadn't realised that with Arthur able to visit "our" world every few years, Merlin could be visiting his old friend at the very end of the finale! (Stories write themselves they say, and oddly enough that's true)
Cheers for reading!
Alchy