Sally wakes up in bed with Fillmore the morning after a wild party and can't remember how she ended up there. Humor. One-shot. Rated for mild language, implied drug use, and suggestive dialogue.

FILLMORE'S FREAK JUICE

Sally woke up that morning with a bad taste in her mouth and the mother of all hangovers. It felt as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to her hood. She groaned and stretched her axles out. Every inch of her chassis felt sore, even… Sally blushed slightly. She tried to remember what had happened the night before. There had been a party, yes. That much she could easily remember. There had been drinking, too, with enough booze to fuel a rocket to the moon and back. But after the seventh or eighth tequila shot, things got pretty hazy.

Sally stretched again. Her right rear tire brushed against something warm and smooth. She suddenly felt hot under the covers and started to wriggle out from under them. "Chrysler," she yawned, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She turned to the dark form lying beside her in the early morning gloom and smiled. The room was silent save for the shallow breathing of the vehicle resting beside her. She moved closer and snuggled up to him, closing her eyes again.

"Mm, what a crazy night that was, huh Stickers?" she purred. The other vehicle shifted slightly.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Crazy, man. Real crazy," replied Fillmore in his unmistakable slur.

Sally's eyes snapped open. The covers flew off her as she bolted out of bed and spun around to face him. "Fillmore?!" she gasped. "What are you doing here?"

The bus stared at her as though surprised to see her standing there. "Uhhh, well…" he trailed off, turning slowly to gaze around the dimly lit room. "My guess is 'cuz this is my place and I, like, usually sleep here." His eyes met Sally's again and he resumed his dull stare. "Hey, shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?"

"No, no, no, don't bother!" Sally replied, shaking her hood frantically. She quickly regretted it. It suddenly felt as though the hangover fairy had returned to play another sledgehammer solo on her hood. She winced and looked wildly around the room to confirm her surroundings. Now that her eyes had adjusted to the gloom she could easily make out the conical shape of a lava lamp on the nightstand and the beaded curtain hanging in the bedroom doorway.

"I should really be asking myself that question so FORD ALMIGHTY WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!!" she shouted suddenly. Fillmore jumped and backed away. They were now standing on opposite sides of the bed. Aside from being startled by her outburst, Fillmore appeared remarkably calm, given the situation.

Sally's gaze drifted back to the bed. It looked as though it hadn't been made in years, and the sheets were covered with stains in a variety of colors. She didn't even want to think about what kind of fluids might have made those stains. There was a faint scent of incense in the air - jasmine - or vanilla? - that barely managed to mask the combined odors of unwashed bus and hemp smoke.

The Porsche fidgeted nervously as she attempted to gather her thoughts. Okay, okay. Get a hold of yourself, Sally! It's not a big deal. You just had a little too much to drink last night and went to bed in the wrong house. That's all. Nothing happened. Not a th -

A dull ache she had felt earlier throbbed to life in her nether regions and again Sally felt herself heat up. Her engine raced. She looked up at Fillmore, who was still standing across from her. He had an unfocused look in his eyes as he stared at something around the area of her left headlight. His mouth hung open slightly as though he found that something quite fascinating.

Sally cleared her throat loudly to get his attention, but he did not respond. He blinked, very slowly, and continued to stare at her headlight. Realizing he was stoned, Sally decided to try a different tactic. She drove around the bed until she was standing right in front of him. His eyes flitted to hers and his bumper curved in a gentle smile.

"Oh. Hey, man," he mumbled.

"Fillmore," Sally began, then paused. She took a deep, steadying breath, forcing herself to maintain eye contact with the hippie, if only to make sure his mind wasn't wandering. "Fillmore, tell me the truth," she said slowly. "Last night, did you and I, um, you know…" her hood flushed crimson and she suddenly found herself too embarrassed to finish her sentence.

The bus stared at her for a long time, eyes slowly widening. "Ooooh, huh… oh yeah, man!" he chuckled. "Me and you, we toootally got freaky last night!"

Sally stared at him in horror. "Oh Chrysler," she whispered. "You mean I actually -?"

Fillmore nodded. He was grinning from headlight to headlight. "Did you ever! You were totally crazy, man. I couldn't have stopped you if I wanted to."

Sally's engine skipped a cycle. Oh my Dodge! What have I done?

"I've never seen anyone down that much of my freak juice before," Fillmore went on. "Not even Sarge." Sally looked at him questioningly. "Oh yeah, he's totally into that kinda stuff, but try getting him to come out and admit it." The hippie lazily kicked an empty fuel can aside. The can skipped and collided with another can, making a sharp clattering sound. Fillmore turned to see where it had landed.

The grimy-looking bedroom floor was littered with fuel cans. Some had been crushed, and some had obviously not been drained before they'd been tossed aside, judging by several damp spots in the filthy green carpet. Sally surveyed the mess. Her mind was screaming a dozen things at once. One thought screamed louder than the rest and forced her to face the bus again.

"Please… please tell me you used protection!" she pleaded. Fillmore looked at her curiously.

"Huh?" he slurred. "Protection?" He blinked groggily. "From what?"

Sally's engine skipped several cycles this time. "Oh Dodge." Around her, the room started to spin. The hangover pounded maniacally on her hood. Bile rose in her throat and it took quite an effort to keep it down. Without another word, and without looking back, Sally revved her engine and bolted out of the room so fast Fillmore was sure he'd heard a sonic boom.

Please review! Part two coming soon!