Don't You Love Me Anymore?
Pairing: Carlos and Logan
Summary: Logan hasn't slept in the same bed with Carlos for a fortnight. Does he not love Carlos anymore?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you may recognise. I only own my own ideas.
Carlos sighed, rolling onto his side as his hand slithered over the sheets. His eyes fluttered open at the feel of the cold unmoved sheets under his fingers. Once his eyes had adjusted to the dark, Carlos brought his eyes over to the other side of the bed, which was usually occupied by Logan but was now empty. Letting his eyes flicker around the room, Carlos quickly deduced that Logan hadn't even entered the bedroom at any point after him.
Pushing the covers down his body, Carlos suppressed the shiver that ran down his spine as the cool air hit his once warm skin. Not caring that he was dressed in only a pair of boxers and white ankle length socks, the Latino made his way to the door. Twisting the knob in his hand, Carlos blinked rapidly as the light from the hallway spilled through the door, hitting his still sleep heavy eyes.
Pressing the heel of his hand to his eye, Carlos finally adjusted to the light that filled the hallway. Stepping quietly out of the room he shared with Logan, the tan boy made his way slowly down the hall. As he neared the living room, a soft almost indistinct sound reached his ears, putting Carlos on alert. Stepping unsurely into the living room, Carlos breathed a sigh of relief when he realised that the noise was only the TV.
Stepping up behind the orange couch, Carlos began to look over the coffee table in an attempt to find the remote. And that's when Carlos spotted him. Logan lay sprawled along the length of the bright orange couch, his head resting gently against one of the many throw pillows that Mama Knight had recently adorned the couch with. A white blanket was draped over Logan's lithe frame, rising and falling as the genius slept.
Carlos took a moment to admire the sight of his boyfriend sleeping. Logan's hair was flattened against his forehead, a couple of sections sticking up from shifting in his sleep. Warm chocolate brown eyes were hidden behind pale lids, long eyelashes spreading butterfly kisses along the length of Logan's cheek. Logan's nose wrinkled as he shifted slightly in his sleep, lips parting ever so slightly to let out small almost inaudible breaths.
Carlos let his eyes flicker up to the television which was still playing quietly in the background. Some boring looking documentary about how the body works was playing across the wide screen, a quick surgery shot gaining Carlos' attention before it turned back to Logan. The Latino sighed, this was the third maybe even the fourth; Carlos had given up counting, time this week that Logan had fallen asleep in front of the TV, leaving Carlos to sleep restlessly in their double bed.
Spotting the remote next to Logan's head, Carlos slowly reached over the sleeping boy's head to collect it. Pressing the power button, Carlos watched as the sleep inducing documentary was replaced by a black screen, the light from the hallway the only light left on in the apartment. Using the light as a guide, Carlos threw the remote along the unoccupied length of the couch, watching as it bounced once before settling against the fluorescent material.
Letting his gaze linger on Logan, Carlos thought about the situation. Part of him wanted to wake the genius and make him go to bed but the Latino knew that if Logan was woken he would be cranky and Carlos knew he wouldn't be able to deal with a cranky Logan right now. That only left leaving Logan to sleep on the couch yet again which Carlos knew from experience could be uncomfortable but then looking at Logan it seemed that he looked comfortable enough.
Letting his eyes roam over Logan's sleeping form once more, Carlos turned back and made his way down the hallway. Shutting the bedroom door behind him, Carlos stared at the bed, Logan's half untouched. Carlos felt daunted by the large untouched space that was usually occupied by Logan, the Latino knowing the sheets would be cold and rough to touch.
Using small steps, Carlos made his way back over to his side of the bed, the sheets now cool to touch. Sliding his body against the covers, Carlos reached down and pulled them up until they covered his body, an automatic warmth seeping across his body. Resting his head lightly against the pillow, the Latino let his thoughts drift to his lover sleeping in the living room. He knew that Logan hadn't meant to fall asleep in front of the TV but it didn't stop Carlos from being hurt. Carlos missed the feel of Logan's arms wrapped tightly around his waist as they slept, Logan's new habit of sleeping on the sofa sending warning bells off in Carlos' head, the insecurities Logan had made disappear now coming back thick and fast.
Did Logan not love him anymore? Was this the genius' way of telling him he didn't want to be with him anymore? Was it over between them? The questions flowed thick and fast through Carlos' mind, a lone tear slipping down the Latino's cheek. Using his finger to wipe away the moisture, Carlos rolled over onto his side, away from Logan's side of the room, his side of the bed.
The same questions continued to float through Carlos' mind as he attempted to drift back to peaceful sleep he was once in. The Latino's body shook under the covers as he failed to stifle the whimpers that spilled past his parted lips. Soon enough Carlos felt sleep overwhelming his now fatigued body, eyes shutting tightly as the last of his tears slid down his cheeks. Pulling the covers closer to his body, Carlos let sleep overtake him, the questions still revolving around his head in a never ending circle.
Morning ran round too quickly for Carlos, the harsh morning sun sneaking through the curtains to dance across his closed eyes. The Latino rolled groggily onto his back, arm flinging out to his side. Panic coursed through Carlos' veins when he felt the cool sheets instead of Logan's warm skin under his fingers. Until it all came back to him. Carlos managed to hold back his tears as the same questions from last night started their repetitive cycle once again.
Shoving the covers from his body, Carlos embraced the cooler air against his skin as he stretched, groaning as his muscles protested the movement. Pressing his feet to the floor, Carlos grabbed his discarded shirt and pulled it on, not wanting Mama Knight to see him in just his boxers. Carrying his still sleepy limbs towards the door, Carlos paused before he gripped the door knob. Would Logan still be asleep or would he be sat at the table with the others? Would Logan act like everything was normal or would he ignore Carlos completely?
Swallowing back his nerves, Carlos twisted the metal in his hand, butterflies fluttering throughout his stomach as he stepped out into the hallway. Timidly; which is never usually the way to describe Carlos' walk, the Latino made his way down the hallway, the sound of laughter echoing from the kitchen. Stepping into the living room, Carlos spotted James, Kendall and Katie sat at the table while Mama Knight was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. The three at the table were attempting to control their laughter and from what Carlos could see nothing was funny. That was until he heard a groan from the couch.
Looking down at the orange material, the Latino spotted a familiar head peeking above the cushions. Logan's hair which had been flat when Carlos found him was now stood up at all angles. Sleepy brown eyes glared as much as they could at the three seated at the table, an almost undistinguishable pout forming on Logan's lips. Carlos felt his heart skip a beat as he took in the adorable sight that was Logan.
Said boy turned his head towards Carlos, his lips tilting into that crooked half smile that Carlos couldn't get enough of. The Latino felt his lips tilt up to return the sentiment but the questions from last night reappeared in his head making his lips tilt downwards once again. Turning his head away from Logan, Carlos made his way over to the table, sliding into the empty seat next to James.
The tall boy looked between Logan and Carlos, neither boy meeting his eyes, before tucking into the plate of food Mama Knight placed in front of him. Carlos muttered a small 'Thank you' as Mama Knight placed a plate in front of him, his eyes not leaving the food in front of him. Carlos heard the scuff of a chair as Logan settled into the seat opposite Carlos. The Latino felt something nudge his foot but didn't raise his eyes to investigate.
James, Kendall and Logan chatted quietly while they ate, the sounds of their cutlery clinking together echoing in Carlos' ears. Today was the boy's day off and usually Carlos would spend it with Logan, whether it was just watching a movie together or even watching Logan do his homework. However today, the Latino planned to spend as much time away from Logan as possible. There was a large stack of comics in their room which were calling to the Latino but from knowing Logan and from the snippets of conversation he heard, Carlos had a feeling Logan would be staying in the apartment to catch up on schoolwork.
Scraping the last of the bacon from his plate, Carlos swallowed the mouthful before pushing himself away from the table. Placing his plate in the sink like Mama Knight always asked them to do, Carlos turned silently on his heel and made his way back towards the bedroom him and Logan shared. Shutting the door behind him, Carlos trudged towards their adjoining bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. Turning the shower on, Carlos stripped himself of his shirt and socks as he waited for the water to warm up.
Running his hand under the spray, Carlos found it was to his liking, tucking his fingers under the waistband of his boxers and towing them down his legs. Stepping under the spray, Carlos ran a hand through his hair, letting the water wash over his body. Gripping the shampoo bottle, Carlos made quick work of washing his hair, stepping under the spray once again to remove the lather that accumulated on his head. Carlos paused as he slid the soap over his body, a sudden noise startling him.
Straining his ears Carlos waited for another noise and when nothing came, the Latino returned to his job of washing his body. Once he deemed himself clean enough, Carlos stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Wiping the steam away from the mirror, Carlos grabbed a second towel, bringing it up to rub at his hair for a few moments.
Wrapping the towel around his shoulders, Carlos turned the lock to the bathroom, swinging the door open. He couldn't hold back the small almost girl like scream that escaped his lips. Logan stood just outside the bathroom door, a pair of jeans sat lowly on his hips. Carlos felt the usual blush that accompanied seeing Logan fill his cheeks but he quickly turned his attention somewhere else. Walking silently past the smart boy, Carlos grabbed a fresh pair of boxers from his dresser and pulled them on under his towel.
When he straightened, Carlos was greeted by the sight of Logan staring at him, chocolate orbs holding a mixture of hurt and confusion.
"We're going down to the pool in a bit, wanna join us?" Logan spoke quietly, his eyes studying the floor now.
"No I think I'm going to stay here for a bit," Carlos' reply was short, his usual energetic spark missing.
Logan looked up at his boyfriend and nodded, before turning and walking into the bedroom. Usually the genius would leave the door open but today he shut and locked it behind him, making Carlos mentally slap himself. If Logan was thinking of breaking up with him then Carlos should be trying everything to change his mind, instead of giving him more reasons to do it.
Pulling on a pair of sweats and a loose fitting t-shirt, Carlos balled up his now unneeded towels and threw them into the laundry hamper him and Logan shared. Carlos was just about to grab one of his comics when the bathroom door opened. Logan's head peered around the wood, his face unreadable when he spotted Carlos.
Looking up into Logan's eyes, Carlos watched as hurt, confusion and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on swirled around the chocolate orbs. Logan's smiled softly at the Latino, the smile falling when Carlos didn't return the gesture. An awkward silence filled the room as Logan pulled on a shirt, Carlos' eyes tracking his every move.
The smart boy didn't say a word as he left the room, Carlos sighing softly as the door shut behind Logan. Returning his eyes to the comic in his hand, Carlos allowed himself to be engrossed in the world of superheroes and villains, the imaginary worlds helping the Latino forget about his problems for the time being.
Logan walked slowly and sadly into the living room. He didn't know what he had done to upset Carlos but the way the Latino had looked at him broke his heart. James and Kendall sat on the sofa waiting for him and neither boy said a word about Carlos' absence when they noticed the look etched across their smart friend's features. Wordlessly gathering his towel up, Logan followed the two taller teens down to the pool, hoping the fresh air would be able to clear his mind.
As soon as they entered the pool area, Logan made his way over to the most secluded sun lounger, throwing his stuff down beside it before flopping unceremoniously onto it. Kendall and James shared a look, unsure of how to act and what to say to their smart friend. Looking wordlessly between themselves, the pair decided that it was probably best to leave Logan on his own, dropping their stuff next to him before jumping into the pool.
Logan watched enviously as Kendall and James frolicked in the pool, wide carefree smiles permanently etched across their faces. It made him think of Carlos' smile, made him think of the way the Latino's eyes lit up everytime he smiled. It made Logan think of the small blush that seemed to spread across Carlos' cheeks everytime he walked into a room. Logan could feel tears prick his eyes when he thought back to this morning, the normal spark of happiness absent from Carlos' eyes when he looked at the smart boy.
Logan scrubbed a hand across his eyes to remove the wetness from his eyes, picking up the medical journal that he had brought down with him. Opening it to where he had last left it, Logan started to read, hoping it would help distract him from the unknown problem between him and Carlos. Back in the apartment Carlos dropped the last comic in his pile onto the bed, unable to concentrate to on this particular scenario as thoughts of Logan ran rampant in his head.
What was that look Logan had given him this morning? Why hadn't he made the effort to see what was wrong this morning? Why didn't he offer to stay in the apartment when he knew I wasn't going to the pool? Carlos scrubbed a hand over his face a new set of fears and insecurities circled his mind. He clenched his fists tightly against the covers to stop the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.
"Carlos are you okay?" A voice broke the Latino out of his thoughts.
Said boy looked up to see Mama Knight stood at the door, a concerned look on her face. The tears that he had managed to keep at bay slid down his cheeks as he nodded. His body shook as he bit at his lips to hold back his whimpers and sobs. Carlos jumped slightly when he felt an arm encircle his shoulders, looking to his right to see Mama Knight next to him.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked, rubbing Carlos' shoulder through his t-shirt.
"L...L...Logan doesn't love me anymore." Carlos sobbed, burying his head into her shoulder.
Mama Knight was silent, letting Carlos let out all of his emotions before replying.
"What makes you think that?" She asked, bringing her hand up to run soothingly through Carlos' hair.
"He never sleeps in our bed anymore, he always sleeps on the sofa. He never apologises for not coming to bed anymore, just acts like nothing happened. Does he not love me anymore? Am I not good enough for him?" Carlos sobbed, the sorrow in his voice breaking Mama Knight's heart.
"Never say that you're not good enough. Logan's the luckiest guy ever to have someone as sweet and kind and amazing as you," Mama Knight said, giving Carlos a small shake, "There could a number of reasons that Logan doesn't come to bed after falling asleep on the sofa. Maybe he doesn't want to wake you. It's definitely not because he doesn't love you anymore. If you could see the way he looks at you then you wouldn't doubt how he feels about you. Talk to him; ask him why he's always asleep on the sofa. Don't work yourself up like this; it's not good for you. If it's because he's not in love with you anymore than more fool him, he's just lost the best thing to happen to him but talk to him first don't just make assumptions. Trust me I know what I'm talking about."
By now Carlos had pulled back from Mama Knight's shoulder. He was astounded by how wise his guardian was and how right she was. He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like he did but when it came to his relationship with Logan he couldn't help it. The idea of Logan loving and wanting to be with him was still so surreal to Carlos.
"Better now?" Mama Knight's voice broke Carlos out of his reverie.
"Yeah thanks Mama Knight." Carlos replied, smiling as she brushed a stray tear from his cheek.
She returned the gesture, dropping a kiss to his forehead before standing and making her way out of the room. Hearing the door click shut behind Mama Knight, Carlos turned back to his comic, finally being absorbed in the story before him. Before he knew it though, his comic had fallen to the floor; his head dropping to the covers as some obviously much needed sleep overwhelmed him.
It was a few hours later that Carlos awoke with a start, thanks to someone slamming the front door behind them. Stretching out his cramped muscles, Carlos had just covered his mouth to smother a yawn when the door opened, Logan's head popping around the wood. The genius gave Carlos a small smile, his smile widening when Carlos returned the gesture.
"Mama Knight told me to tell you dinner's ready." Logan said, chuckling when Carlos eagerly jumped from the bed.
Carlos paused when he reached the door and Logan, giving the smart boy's hand a squeeze. After his talk with Mama Knight this afternoon, Carlos knew exactly how to handle this situation with Logan. But first off it was dinnertime.
"Carlos where've you been all day?" James exclaimed as Carlos joined them at the table.
The pretty boy grunted as Kendall elbowed him in the ribs before shooting Carlos an understanding smile. Carlos smiled, grateful for Kendall's intervention as he took a seat at the table. James' grumbling about how Kendall hurt his side filled what would have been an awkward silence, a tension growing around the table as Logan took his seat next to Carlos.
The four boys' fell silent as Mama Knight began to hand out the plates, giving a Carlos a squeeze on the shoulder as she handed him his plate. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by the other's, all of them shooting Carlos a quizzical look before turning back to the meals in front of them. The sound of cutlery scraping against plates filled the room as the participants of 2J enjoyed yet another one of Mama Knight's home cooked meals.
Later
James stretched as the movie came to an end, nudging Kendall gently in the side. The blonde's eyes fluttered open, murmuring something, his voice groggy with sleep. Slowly Kendall pushed himself off the couch, muttering a goodnight to Logan and Carlos as he passed before following James to the room they shared.
The banging of Kendall and James' door left Logan and Carlos sat apart on the sofa, an awkward tension falling between the pair. Logan was quick to break it by reaching and grabbing the discarded. Carlos sighed inwardly as Logan turned the TV over to some boring medical documentary. He had planned to talk to Logan when James and Kendall had gone to bed but then had quickly changed his mind, choosing to talk to Logan when and if he came to bed so they wouldn't be interrupted. However it looked as if his plans had been scuppered as he watched Logan settle into the cushions to watch his documentary.
Suppressing a yawn, Carlos pushed himself off the couch. He was surprised to see Logan staring at him when he turned to say goodnight. Carlos could feel that familiar warmth spread across his cheeks, forgetting for a moment why him and Logan why sitting what seemed like miles apart on the couch.
"You heading off now?" Logan asked.
"Yeah" Carlos replied, smothering another yawn.
"Okay, I'm gonna stay up and watch this for a bit." Logan said making Carlos' stomach lurch.
"Oh okay then, I'm gonna head to bed." Carlos said, biting back the urge to add 'you know that big rectangular thing we used to share.
Turning on his heel, Carlos strode quickly towards their bedroom, biting his lip to hold back the tears building in his eyes. Slamming the door with more force than was necessary, Carlos angrily stripped down to his boxers and socks, kicking his discarded clothes to the side. Ripping the covers back, Carlos let his body drop down onto the mattress with a thud.
It was as Carlos pulled the covers over himself that he caught a whiff of Logan's scent on the sheets. That was enough to break his angry resolve, this afternoon's sorrow returning tenfold. Pulling the covers tightly over his body, Carlos allowed his tears to flow freely, body shaking with the force of his sobs. Burying his head in his pillow, Carlos let his sobs be muffled by the material as his body shook repeatedly under the covers.
Carlos stayed like that for what seemed like forever until his now good friend sleep overtook his weary body. Yet even as emotionally worn out as he was, Carlos still couldn't sleep peacefully, tossing and turning on his side of the bed. His arm would fling out to Logan's side in search of the genius but would pull back as soon as it touched cool sheets. Carlos repeated the same pattern over and over until he was rudely awoken a few hours later.
"Ow." A voice broke Carlos out of the half sleep he'd been in all night.
Slowly pushing himself into a sitting position, Carlos squinted in the darkness to make out the somewhat blurry shape at the end of the bed. Reaching over to the bedside table, Carlos flicked on his lamp, squinting slightly as the bright light hit his still sleepy eyes. Anger bubbled through Carlos' veins when he saw Logan stood at the foot of the bed, a sheepish expression spread across his features.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Logan apologised as he began to strip down for bed.
"What are you doing?" Carlos asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Getting ready for bed, there's only so many times I can wake up with a crick in the neck." Logan replied, throwing his t-shirt in the same direction as Carlos'.
"Well you should be used to it now."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Logan asked eyes narrowed as he stared at his boyfriend.
"It means that in the last fortnight you've spent more nights asleep on the couch than in bed with the person you love." Carlos retorted.
Shock flitted across Logan's features for a second before realisation set in. Yeah sure he'd fallen asleep on the couch a few times but was it really as many as Carlos had claimed.
"You're exaggerating, it hasn't been that many." Logan said, mirroring Carlos position of his arms over his chest.
"Oh it really has, when was the last time you remember waking up next to me." Carlos challenged.
"The other night after we went to the cinema. You tried seducing me in the cinema but I made you wait and it was worth it." Logan replied, a small smile playing at his lips as he remembered the night.
"THAT WAS TWO FRICKING WEEKS AGO." Carlos shouted.
Logan couldn't help but wince at the tone of Carlos' voice, mentally calculating the days back to see if it really was two weeks ago. He was shocked when it turned out to be true.
"And then the next night and the night after that and the night after that you slept on the sofa." Carlos' voice had dropped, anger being replaced by hurt.
Silence filled the tense room as Logan tried to think of something to say to make everything right again. He let his gaze drop to the floor in front of him when he couldn't think of anything to say. However he didn't have to say anything because Carlos was saying plenty for the both of them.
"Did I disappoint you that night? Was the sex not good enough? Do you not find me attractive anymore?" Carlos asked his voice small.
"No, no, no. Sex with you is amazing, mind blowing in fact. And me not finding you attractive well that's a load of crap. You're the most beautiful person in the world and I couldn't see myself living my life without you." Logan said, sitting cautiously on the edge of the bed.
"THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU SLEPT NEXT TO ME OR EVEN TOUCHED ME IN TWO WEEKS." Carlos shouted, pushing the covers off.
"Where are you going?" Logan asked, mouth agape, as Carlos stormed around the bed.
"I'm going to sleep on the sofa, I'm gonna see what makes you love it so much." Carlos spat.
The Latino paused when he reached the door. Settling his fingers on the doorknob, Carlos spoke again.
"If you don't love me anymore, just say, I'll get James or Kendall to swap rooms with me." The tone of Carlos' voice broke Logan's heart.
Logan had never moved faster in his life as he darted off the bed to grab Carlos' wrist. Yanking the Latino around, Logan gripped his shoulders tightly, needing to get his point through.
"Don't you ever dare think I don't love you. I do, I love you more than anything else in this world, always have, always will. Why didn't you say something before, why did you let it build up inside of you like this? All you had to say was tell me to come to bed and I would've. I'm sorry I've hurt you but why keep this hidden until the point where you think I don't love you. Why Carlos why?" Logan voice broke slightly at the end as tears pricked his eyes.
Logan's hands shook slightly where they rested on Carlos' shoulders, the smart boy breathing shakily as he waited for Carlos to say something, anything.
"I was scared. I was so so scared Logie. I didn't wanna bring it up and have it be true. I can't imagine my life without you." Carlos' reply was broken by the small hiccupped sobs that shook him.
Logan let his tears flow freely as he pressed his forehead to Carlos'. His hands slid down from the tan boy's shoulders to entwine their fingers together.
"I love you Carlos Garcia, I love you with all my heart. I never want you to forget that." Logan said, bringing a hand up to cup Carlos' cheek.
"I love you too Logie, I really do. I'm sorry, just tell me how I can make it up to you." Carlos rambled.
Logan chuckled lightly as he pressed a kiss to the tip of Carlos' nose.
"The only way you can make it up to me is to get back into bed and cuddle with me." Logan replied, dropping his hand from Carlos' cheek.
Carlos' smile was blinding as he made a move back towards the bed. He shot Logan a confused look when the smart boy tugged him back near the door. His confusion soon disappeared as Logan leant down and sealed their lips together. The kiss was short but full of love, leaving both boys' with somewhat goofy smiles on their faces when they pulled apart.
Tugging Carlos towards the bed, Logan pulled the covers down, signalling for Carlos to climb in. Once the Latino had shuffled over to his side of the bed, Logan climbed in beside him. Logan waited until Carlos had turned off the light and settled back beside him to pull the covers up and over them. Holding his arm out, Logan pulled Carlos close to him, nuzzling his nose in the Latino's raven locks as he settled on his chest.
"I love you Logie." Carlos yawned.
"I love you too Carlos." Logan replied, allowing sleep to drag him away from reality.
Okay first off I have to apologise for being absent for a while. I apologise to anyone who's been waiting for updates, I promise I'll try to get to them as soon as possible.
I hope you all enjoy this. I hope the plot and Carlos' reason for being angry is too flimsy or unrealistic. 3