Infinity War spoilers ahead.
So everyone today I'm bringing you a fic that is probably gonna hurt. I've been ignoring the fact that Infinity War happened for months now because it hurts way too much. But today inspiration struck and so I'm writing perhaps the most painful fic I've ever written. As you may or may not know, Clintasha is my otp so this fic will be with them.
However, it's important to note that in this fic Laura Barton does exist but she is Clint's sister. Nathaniel is Laura's son to an unknown father. Lila and Cooper are Natasha and Clint's children.
This whole fic is based on the amazing song Meet Me On The Battlefield by SVRCINA. Y'all should check the song out./
We carry on through the storm
Tired soldiers in this war
Remember what we're fighting for
Meet me on the battlefield
Even on the darkest night I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage
And you will be mine
Echos of the shots ring out
We may be the first to fall
Everything can stay the same or we could change it all
Meet me on the battlefield
...
It had been a long two years.
When Clint had been called into fight all that time ago, he had had no idea what he would be facing.
Clint believed in what he was doing.
And so did Natasha.
They'd play fought for a while, doing no harm but simply keeping the other away from the main fight.
"We're still together, right?" Natasha had asked.
"Depends on how hard you hit me." He quipped as he rolled from underneath her.
Then later came.
Rhodey in hospital, their group scattered, Clint in handcuffs.
By all accounts, Natasha should have been locked up too.
She'd betrayed T'Challa and Tony by letting Bucky and Steve go. By helping them escape.
But though Tony had been angry, he'd known he couldn't keep both parents from their children.
So Natasha had returned home, leaving a part of her behind with Clint.
Then Steve had come, broken them out of the jail cells and Tony had turned the other cheek.
Soon the government caught up with Clint and things shifted again.
Clint had to stay home.
He was under house arrest and should he leave, he would be sent back to the watery prison.
So it was Natasha leaving Clint again, for missions, for jobs, to see their friends for the both of them.
Two years passed.
Natasha only took low risk jobs that paid well.
She came home almost every weekend, her babies running into her arms and Clint smiling behind them.
He would wrap his arms around her, nuzzle against her hair and sigh.
He was a bird by nature, hated to be cooped up, confined, stuck.
Natasha tried her hardest.
She would come home with foreign foods, videos and pictures of her travels, of their friends.
They would have the windows open, no matter the weather, because Clint missed the fresh air.
The kids learned that if they wanted their dad to play with them, it would have to be inside.
And so the two years passed, and it got closer and closer to the time his house arrest would end.
Clint counted down the days until there were only ten days left.
Natasha was away at The Tower.
That was when he got the message.
'Clint, we're under attack. Not just Earth, but the whole universe is at stake. We don't have time to stop or think, we have to fight. If we don't do this, half the universe will be killed. Gone. We've scattered. Tony is missing, Vision is injured, Bruce is back. I need you. We need you. For Laura and Nate and Cooper and Lila. Meet me. Yours always, Natasha'
Clint turned and called for his sister, who came running down the stairs.
"Clint?" She held Nate in her arms.
"The team needs me. Natasha needs me." He stepped forward.
"But your-"
"The tracker, I know. But it won't matter. Something bad is coming. Stay here with the kids, don't leave the house. Promise me you'll look after them."
"I promise." She leaned in and gave him a firece one armed hug.
"Lila, Coop, come downstairs a minute." Clint called up to them.
Lila shuffled out first, teddy bear under her arm as she rubbed her eyes.
Cooper followed, taking his sister's hand to help her down the stairs.
"Dad, what's going on?" He asked, noting the bow that had been put away for almost two years, propped against the table.
"I have to go for a little while. To help your mom with something." He knelt, brushing away strands of red hair from Lila's forehead.
"You're allowed to leave?" She asked softly, fingers curled around the hem of his shirt.
"You bet I am. But I'll be back soon. I love you so much and so does mommy. More than anything."
He leaned in and pressed kisses to their foreheads before enveloping them both in a hug.
Lila giggled. "Bye daddy."
"See you soon, my loves."
With a soft pointed look at Laura, Clint picked up his bow and walked out the door.
...
The Battle was short.
In Wakanda, as they all lined up before the barrier, as the aliens got closer towards them, Clint took Natasha's hand.
As the cheers around them shouted out 'for Wakanda!', The two spies exchanged glances.
"For our family." Natasha breathed.
"And for the rest of the world." Clint squeezed her hand three times, their silent signal for I love you.
Natasha squeezed back and then the fight was on.
Shoulder to shoulder with the last line of defence, they sprinted towards the border.
They'd made mistakes. They'd been the bad guys.
But as they charged towards the aliens, they were among the best of the good guys.
They fought for the entire universe in the twenty minutes that followed.
In the end, it still didn't matter.
Natasha had gotten separated from her love, fighting with Okoye and Wanda for their lives.
"Everyone on my position. We have incoming."
Then Thanos was there and it was like the aliens had been nothing compared to him.
"Eyes up. Stay sharp."
Chaos around them and Natasha wonders as she is thrown backwards if any of them will survive this fight.
Wanda crying as she uses all her power against Vision, Rhodey's cry of pain as the suit collapses in on itself, Steve shouting as he tries to fight Thanos, all his strength and bravery.
And it still isn't enough.
The mind stone splinters and Vision's body falls.
Natasha thinks that maybe, even if they all die, now Thanos cannot continue with his plans.
But he has the time stone and Natasha's heart breaks.
Tony had been with Stephen Strange and surely if this monster now has the time stone, Tony is dead.
Before they have time to gather themselves, the time stone is used and suddenly everything moves.
Wanda is thrown to the floor.
He has the stone.
Thor bursts into the clearing, thunder and lightning directed right at the monster.
Not enough.
Thanos' fingers snap.
Nothing happens for a moment.
The gauntlet burns and Thanos opens a portal.
All is quiet for just a moment.
As Natasha pushes herself up, she hears a choked voice.
"Steve-" wide eyes find Bucky and as Steve takes a step towards his pal, his buddy, his Bucky, the man is gone.
Ash litters the forest floor and Natasha presses a hand to her mouth.
She hears cries for T'Challa and Sam and she feels like the pain won't end.
She follows Steve, because he is their leader and she doesn't know what else to do.
Some of friends are there.
Vision is dead on the floor, Wanda gone.
Instead there are only a handful of them left.
"Oh god." Steve whispers, slumping back on the floor.
Natasha jerks her head around, eyes wild.
She ignores the death, ignores the pain, she has to find Clint.
She screams like a mad woman, tumbling and tripping in her haste.
Her voice goes hoarse and her hands are bloodied when she runs into it.
Her legs fly out from beneath and she lands next to a discarded purple bow.
Clint's bow.
Beside it, Natasha sees the clump of ash and her heart shatters.
She screams and clutches the bow, fist hitting the ground over and over again.
Tears smear the dirt and blood as they track down her face.
With a tiny spark of hope in her heart, she pulls out her phone and dials.
"You've reached the voicemail of Laura Barton. Leave a message after the tone."
Natasha grits her teeth against the new wave of pain and dials the last number.
The kids had a phone for emergencies.
They always answered when it rang.
No matter how scared they would be, they would answer.
But instead the phone rang and rang and rang.
Eventually, the phone clicked off and Natasha let it drop from her grasp.
She followed it, curled up in the dirt, hands clutching her chest as she sobbed and slowly forgot how to breathe.
Through bleary eyes, she saw a glint in the dirt.
Reaching for it, Natasha choked as she held the object in her palm.
Clint's wedding ring.
Closing her eyes, she pressed the ring to lips.
In the end, it still hadn't been enough.
/I know I'm awful, please check out chapter 2 for a 'slightly' nicer alternative ending.