Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Let me tell you how this story drove me nuts trying to write it because there was so many ways to do it that I didn't know what to settle with. So doing it this way. Be aware even though there is yaoi I can never write it out. There is also abuse and self harm in this so click away now if you can't handle it.

Chapter 1

Beep beep beep

My name is Sora Heart and you might think I am sick or something because I am in this hospital bed bandage head to toe.

Beep beep beep

But I am not.

In order for me to explain why I am here I have to tell you my story from the beginning...

Backtracking from when I was 13 and school year was starting. I came out to my family as gay and there was a boy that moved into a house down the block.

"Sora what are you staring at?" Tifa my mother came out the house looking at the new people moving in "Oh we have new neighbors".

"Where?" Roxas my 12 year old brother, looked in the same direction "Is that a boy or girl with the white hair".

"Roxas dont be rude" Tifa said to start walking over there "Well come on now we have to introduce ourselves"

Roxas sigh to follow her and I followed him. My heart was beating fast as we got closer.

"Hey you guys need any help" Tifa asked.

"No we are actually almost done. Thank you" the woman looked at us with box in arms that a kid with blonde hair took from her.

I notice the white hair boy come back out and look at me and I looked away blushing.

"Let me welcome you guys to the neighborhood. My name is Tifa Heart, my husband Leon Heart is working. This is my youngest Roxas Heart and my oldest sora heart."

"Nice to meet you, my name is Fran White, my husband Kadaj White is around here somewhere" Looks around to wave hand "Anyway the blonde hair kid was my oldest Cloud and this troublemaker is Riku".

"I am not a troublemaker" Riku mumble cutely.

I couldn't help but chuckle softly.

Tifa went over to Fran to talk about school starting when I notice Cloud pushing Riku close to me and Roxas "So you two know any cool place around here?".

Roxas shrug "This town is lame. You usually need to go outside the town to get to any place fun".

I look at Riku who looked back at me "I find video games make time fly".

"Really now?" Riku raise a brow "Maybe I can beat you at one sometime".

I smirk "Look forward to it".

We didn't know anything about each other but I knew that we would be great friends.

After summer was pretty much over middle school started, the last year before high school started.

I had gym and lunch with Riku so we would bring our gameboys to connect and play pokemon or something. We were such nerds.

One night my parents had date night so Fran invited me and Roxas over to have dinner and hang out. Roxas wasn't into it, he hung out with Cloud though in garage with his band for some reason

"Does your brother have a name for his band yet?" I was on couch watching tv with Riku.

Riku shrug "I think he call it the Cloud Steppers".

I chuckle softly at the name "Weird name".

"I know. Its out of the blue too. Who knew he was into music" Riku looked at the tv.

There was something he wasn't telling me and I could hear his mother arguing on the phone with his father about it. Clearly Cloud was in a rebellious stage in his life.

When our parents came to pick us up I went to get Roxas to see him talking to a red head "Hey Roxas time to go".

"Alright. Later Axel." Roxas went pass me. Wasn't Axel in our grade?

I didn't question it further because back then I didnt think Roxas would have a crush on him.

Later that night I could hear yelling down the street to get out of bed to look, Cloud was driving away in van as Kadaj was yelling at him to never come back.

I see my phone light up to grab it and see a text from Riku.

"Guess you heard that?" Riku said.

"Who didn't? What happen?" I asked.

"Cloud was kissing Zack in the garage and my dad caught him. It's no surprise to me, I knew my brother was bi..." Riku said.

"Guess your parents aren't accepting like mine hua?" I said not realizing I basically told him I was gay.

"They have a plan for our lives already, they have been trying to find a girl for me to marry when I turn 18 years old. Being gay or bi doesn't register with them..." Riku said

I bite my lower lip to look at Riku house to text back "That's really horrible".

"I know" Riku texted "Have a good night".

"Good night" I said putting my phone down to wonder if Riku was gay or bi and was just too afraid to come out because of his parents?

Those next few days after what happen that night, I didn't see Riku it was weird.

He didn't even respond to my texts and I was starting to think he hated me for mentioning I was gay.

When friday came, I open my locker to put stuff in and take out a book to close it to jump when Riku was there out of the blue "What the heck Riku you scared the crap of me".

"Sorry" Riku chuckle softly to rub his neck "Did you want to go to lunch together?".

I give Riku a odd look "First explain to me why you missed all week. You had me worried you jerk".

"Heh sorry" Riku looked at me "My dad took my phone. I have been in school just skipping last two classes to see my brother to give him clothes since he can't really sneak in with my dad on night patrol".

"He is still around?" I blinked.

Riku nodded "Not for long he plans on leaving Japan and traveling with his band. There trying to find a new drummer since Axel quit".

"He quit?" I look around the almost empty halls "Come to think of it I haven't seen my brother lately. He has gym when we have lunch..." I look out the window to not see my brother outside on the field.

"Maybe he is still in the locker room?" Riku suggested to walk down the hall and I followed to go into the boys locker room. There was no sound there was no one in here.

"Where ever he is I am hundred percent sure he is with Axel" I sat down on the bench to set bag down.

"Sora" Riku sat down next to me "Seeing my brother wasn't the only reason I am skipping class.

I look at him, I knew it he was going to stop being my friend because I was gay.

"I like you" Riku touch my arm to look at me.

"I knew you stop being my friend-" I blushed deeply to stop myself to look at Riku "Wait what did you say?".

Riku chuckle softly to shake his head to move hand to my chin "I .like. you" he said it slower this time "I am gay its just something I can't say so openly because of my situation. When you told me you were I had to get advice from my brother on how difficult it was going to be hiding it from our parents".

"Oh...sorry I assumed you stop being my friend when you found out I was gay" I had sweat drop.

"That's ridiculous" Riku kissed my cheek cutely as I blush deeply.

At that moment I felt like we could work. We could overcome anything that came our way. Now I feel like no matter how hard we tried to be happy we could never be.

A/N: I am still debating on this story. So if you see it gone again don't be surprised. I am never happy with what i write half the time lol. Anyway leave reviews and likes. Side note Riku parents Kadaj and Fran are from Final Fantasy in case you're wondering