She appeared on the Thousand Sunny out of thin air. "Where am I?", she asked herself as she began to aimlessly wander the ship. Hearing noises from the kitchen she to approached it. When she walked inside she was greeted with 17 eyes on her.
Sanji's cigarette fell out his mouth as he looked at the presence that had just graced his lunch. "A beautiful swan who needs my affection.", he said as his eyes turned to hearts. While Sanji was doing his mellironnie, Luffy asked , "Woho arrrer youou annada whyrye you on ma shpipi?" with a mouthful of food. "My name is Outrageous Beautiful Typical Uber Sexy Amanda Rachel NaHaRo Fluorescent Beautiful Vam D. Unbelievably ….." "Stop, we'll just call you outrage.", Luffy interrupted. "Anyway I don't know how I got on your ship. I think I just fell out the sky. ", Outrage finished. "Outrage if you don't mind could you wait outside", Robin asked. "Of course", she responded and waited on the deck.
Robin's face became deadly serious as she turned to face the crew, "I've read about people like her in history books. They're called Mary Sues." "What's a Mary Sue?", Chopper curiously asked. "Well they're perfect people who distract pirates from their adventures and dreams. ", Robin answered. The whole crew cringed in horror at the thought of giving up their dreams and adventures. "I guess we're kicking her off the ship then. Shishishi", Luffy laughed.
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement except for Sanji. "Uh guys, I can't let you do that to her." Sanji said. "Now is no time for your shitty pervert side cook. This is a serious problem that we need to take care. ", Zoro grumbled. "No", was Sanji's response. "Would you do it for me Sanji?", Nami asked in her sweetest tone. "No, because I love her more than anything in the world. The way her eyes sporadically changes colors. The way her hair is the color of the rainbow plus more. Her hourglass figure that's so voluptuous, I drool. I'd give up the All Blue for her! ", Sanji yelled at the top of his lungs. Everyone was shocked beyond belief. Not only had Sanji said no to Nami, but he seemed to be crazy about Outrage.
"How could you be in love with her cook bro? You just met the girl for 5 seconds. ", Franky asked. "I don't know", Sanji said with a confused face. "This is the power of a Mary Sue. They make various crew members obsessed with them. So much so that they give up any and all of their ambitions. ", Robin informed the crew. "Then let's kill her before she affects any more of us", Zoro calmly stated. "We can't. If anyone on the crew kills her Sanji will attempt to avenge her. He would also go into a deep depression that he may never recover from. Mary Sues are also invincible in battle. ", Robin said.
"So how do we stop this monster and get Sanji to snap out of it", Ussop questioned. "We'll have to get Outrage to recall her tragic past, since they always have one. We'll then have to recreate the events so she commits suicide or get her to tell us her weakness. She must also tell Sanji she's not interested in him, so that he's released from her powers. " Robin grimly stated.
Just then the crew heard a loud thud on the deck. They all filed out of the kitchen to see what the commotion was. Outrage was sitting there talking to a tall, muscular guy. "Oh hey guys", Outrage waved. "This is my brother Masculinity who also just fell out of the sky. We were wondering if we could join your crew.", she asked Luffy. "Sure", Luffy blatantly blurted. Once Luffy realized what he said he added, "You and your brother wait here while the rest of us discuss something in the kitchen." "Ok...crewmates", Outrage laughed. The rest of the strawhat crew went back into the kitchen.
As soon as they were inside Nami hit Luffy over the head. "You idiot how could you let them join when we're trying to get rid of them? ", she questioned. "I don't know what came over me. I didn't want to let them join, but just said they could.", Luffy pondered as he scratched his chin. "Hmmmm...This must be the other power of a Mary Sue that I read about. Apparently they can make people act out of character and against their wishes.", Robin said. "Oh, so it wasn't my fault.", Luffy smiled. "Hey Robin what about that guy with her? When I saw him I began to blush, and get hot, and fall in love.", Nami contently sighed. "Since they're siblings, I assume he is a Gary Stu. A male version of a Mary Sue. So now we have two of them to deal with. ", Robin answered. Everyone one began to think of a plan. Eventually Brooke spoke, "How about we split into teams. The females can deal with Outrage, while the guys deal with Masculinity. That way we won't be affected by their charms." Everyone looked toward Robin to see if she would support his idea, seeing as she knew the most about these weirdos. "I'm afraid that their charms will still affect us Brooke. The power of Mary Sues and Gary Stus are so powerful, that they can change your sexual orientation. " "Oh my. My dick would have shriveled up after hearing that if I still had one. Skull Joke. Yohohohoo", Brooke joked. The whole crew gasped. "Skeleton bro when have you ever talked liked that", asked Franky. "Never in my life. I've always been a gentalmen pervert, not a vulgar one. I think the power's of Ourtrage and Masculinity are starting to get to me.", he croaked. Realizing the urgency of the situation the strawhats came up with an alternate plan where they separate the siblings and exterminate them. Team Mary Sue consisted of Luffy, Zoro, Ussop, and Robin. The rest were team Gary Stu.
Team Gary Stu went out on deck. "Hey Outrage, Luffy wants to see you in the kitchen.", Nami informed Outrage. "Okeey Dookee Ms. Nav", Outrage cutely blurted as she ran into the kitchen. Everyone smiled at the way Outraged talked, finding it so cute. Remembering the mission team Gary Stu began to approach Masculinity.
Team Mary Sue:
"So what did you want Cap", Outrage smiled. "I just want to play a game with you that we do with all new female crew members, Truth or Dare.", Luffy responded. "Okay", she innocently agreed. Every thing is going according to plan. Ussop thought to himself. Before long we'll know her past, recreate it and be rid of her. "I'll go first!", Luffy exclaimed. "Zoro, truth or dare", he asked. "Dare", Zoro responded without a second thought. "I dare you to drink a bottle of sake. Shishishishi", Luffy laughed. Despite the serious situation, Robin couldn't help but smirk. Luffy was absolutely terrible at this game. Zoro shrugged and was about to get up to retrieve the bottle, when Outrage handed it to him with a smile. He gently took the bottle ,"Thank you. That was really sweet and unnecessary for an angel like yourself. " Everyone but Outrage was shocked at Zoro's behavior. He was beginning to act like Sanji. "No problem love", Outrage smiled back. Zoro began to get lost in her beautiful perfectly white teeth. He then took in the rest of her body, and noticed all the things Sanji did plus more. Her impeccable fashion sense, beautifully manicured nails, and perfectly pale skin. Before he knew it, he was blushing and doing a mellironnie around Outrage. Luffy's, Robin's, and Ussop's jaws hit the floor. With the simple act of passing him a bottle, she had Zoro under her control. Damn they all thought. Realizing how bad things had gotten and being the first to get over the shock, Robin took her turn, "So Outrage, truth or dare?" "Dare of course", she stated. This made Zoro squeal in excitement and praise her. "I dare you to tell us about your past."
Team Gary Stu:
"Hey Gary St- I mean Masculinity, do you want to play a game.", Chopper nervously asked. "Sure little guy", Masculinity responded patting Chopper on the head. "That makes me so happy...friend.", Chopper excitedly said while wiggling. "Hey guys, wanna play truth and dare with us", Masculinity asked the others. His voice was so bass that it made Nami horny and make Franky question his manliness. They all agreed and formed a circle on deck. "I'll go first.", Nami ordered, "Truth or dare, Masculinity?" she asked. "Truth", he smiled. "Is it true that your attracted to 19 year old, orange hair navigators that love money and mikans", she desperately asked. Damn, the others thought, Nami is gone. "I love people like that. In fact, I love everyone.", he chuckled. The rest began to genuinely laugh even though they didn't find it funny. Nami had hearts in her eyes, and sighed contently. "I'll go next.", Masculinity stated, "Franky, truth or dare?" he asked. "I'll go with dare", Franky responded, hoping to please Masculinity. "I dare you to go put on...one of Nami's skirts.", he smiled. Everyone froze, knowing Franky only wore speedos below the waist, and would never wear a skirt. Nami took off the skirt she was currently wearing, making sure to do so in front of Masculinity, and threw it to Franky. "Hurry up and put it on you metal dult to make my Mas-poo happy.", she demanded. Suprisingly, Franky eagerly put it on. "So what do you guys think?", Franky giggled. Everyone laughed at he ridiculous look of Franky while he twirled in the skirt. "I like what I see!", Masculinity laughed. As this statement was said everyone else stopped laughing, and there faces turned serious. The awkwardness of what just happened snapped them out of Masculinity's Gary Stuness. Nami quickly snatched her skirt back and put it on. Remembering why they were playing with renewed clarity, the strawhats continued the mission. "I'll go next", Brooke said, "Masculinity, Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth", Masculinity answered. "Tell us about your past. "
Team Mary Sue:
A single tear rolled down Outrage's face and Zoro kissed it away. "It's okay if you don't want to tell us my angel. ", he swooned. "No, I'll tell you guys, because I love all of you.", she cried as she hugged everyone. Ussop put in his ear plugs and ran the contingency plan over in his head. If the others fall for the tragedy of Outrage's past, it'll all be up to me. Since he wouldn't be able to hear her story, he looked at the faces of the team to see how powerful her story was.
"Me and Masculinity grew up in a peaceful and prosperous kingdom. Then for an unknown reason, one day, a buster call came and obliterated our home. After being on our own for a few days we came upon a village. There we learned techniques from master ninjas and knights, so that we could protect ourselves. We ended up becoming the second best fighting pair in the village, behind the new friends we made. We made a promise with our friends to become the best ninja/knights in the world. Unfortunately our friends died after are 2000th sparring match by somehow falling up the stairs, and cracking their skulls. Our mentor which was a matriarch figure in our life, died from disease. Having nothing we left the village. We spent 50 days with only each other to rely on. Eventually we came upon a doctor who taught us medicine. Believing we created the perfect elixir we gave it to him to drink. When he did, he died. Once the doctor died, the village we resided in was taken over by a tyrant. Valuing my map making skills and Masculinity's engineering skills, we were forced to work for him to protect the village. Once we saved enough money, the tyrant left, but not before going back on his word and destroying the village. The government then wanted to kill Masculinity for his knowledge of the blueprints of Poseidon. Throw in rape, murder, depression, drugs, and any other problem you can think of, and you have the past. But we got through it all, and came out stronger for it.
Zoro and Luffy were both in tears, blubbering on the ground at Outrage's feet from her tragic tale. "You'll never feel pain like that again my love!", Luffy exclaimed. "Yes, because I'll protect you, my love", Zoro added. Robin had resisted the alluring power of the story by mentally pointing out holes in her story. Friends falling up the steps and dieing, and blueprints to a living being. She gave Ussop a thumbs up, showing that she was still capable of completing the mission.
"Let's continue on with truth or dare to get your mind on something else.", Ussop suggested with a smile, "I'll go.", he said. "Truth or Dare, Outrage?", he asked. "Truth", she smiled back. "What is your one true weakness. ", he asked. Knowing he sounded suspicious, he added, "That way we can protect you from it."
Team Gary Stu:
Masculinity finished telling the same story that Outrage had told, to the rest of the strawhats. Chopper was hugging Masculinity tearfully, while Franky insisted that he wasn't crying. Sanji had passed out after hearing all the things Outrage had to go through. Brooke had been mentally humming while Nami noticed holes in the story.
At that moment Masculinity's stomach began to grumble,"Uh, excuse me Sanji, could you make some food now?" he asked. "Only if you tell me your sister's favorite food. ", he answered , quickly recovering from his fainted state. "Oh, that's easy", he chuckled, "it's Devil Fruits. Our uniqueness allows me and her to consume an infinite amount of devil fruits. It's our favorite thing in the world. Sanji left for the kitchen to go prepare a meal for his love and her brother.
Now that Nami and Brooke knew how to kill Outrage and Masculinity, the only thing they had to do was get their crewmates from under the Mary Sue/ Gary Stu powers. "Hey guys come here.", Nami requested to everyone on deck. "Let's play another game while we wait for Sanji to finish dinner.", she suggested. "Fine, as long as it's not truth or dare. That game was to tragic, though I didn't cry.", Franky said as tears began to pool in his eyes. "No, let's play a new game I made up called awkward situations. It's simple, whoever creates the most awkward situation wins.", she informed. Everyone intrigued by this new game, joined in.
"Me first.", Chopper squealed. "Frankey, I find your light-em-up chest nipples provocative and innapropriate. " What an awkward complaint, everyone thought. "Okay.", Franky responded, "I'll replace them with regular nipples tommorow.", he stated. Very awkward everyone thought, not questioning where Franky would get normal nipples from. "You could use my nipples Franky, I have an extra pair.", Masculinity calmly stated. Most awkward thing someone could say. As soon as these words left Masculinity's mouth, Chopper and Franky snapped out from under the control of his Gary Stu powers.
Now that no one was under Masculinity's influence, he could be killed. Brooke swiftly played one of his attack lullabies, putting Masculinity to sleep. Franky then picked up Masculinity, took him to the rail of the ship, and dumped his body into the sea, never to be found again.
Team Mary Sue:
So she's a devil fruit user huh, Ussop thought to himself. What a simple solution to our enormous problem. Sanji came in, after Outrage explained her weakness, and began to worship Outrage's beauty. Surprisingly, he completed ignored Robin, though she didn't seem to mind.
Five minutes after Sanji, the rest of the crew minus Masculinity entered. "Where's my brother?", Outrage asked. "Oh, he was tired and took a nap on the deck", Brooke answered. Sanji, Luffy, and Zoro began to comfort Outrage, in attempts to earn her affection. Realizing it was a ripe time to make things awkward, Nami asked "So which guy are you going to choose?" "I choose Luffy and Zoro", Outrage smirked. "Sorry Sanji, but I don't like blonds.", she awkwardly joked. Sanji took this to heart though, and was freed from her Mary Sue powers. "So a threesome huh!", Nami continued, needing to free Luffy and Zoro. "Yep. I'm cool with a threesome with two guys. We'll get married and live a healthy, long, vegetarian lifestyle.", she awkwardly joked some more. As Zoro processed the words "threesome with two guys", he was freed from her control. Luffy hearing vegetarian, regained his clarity.
Now that none of the strawhats were influenced by her powers they could get rid of her. They disposed of her the same way they did her brother, and celebrated their victory into the night.