Based on the one freaking Buzzfeed video that has made me smile ever since it was uploaded. Basically, drunk people + puppies = one heck of a time, so I'm pretty much writing how I'd imagine Mabel would react. [Both of them are of drinking age in this fic, of course] Enjoy!
"I'm not drunk, you are!"
"And…we're recording. Are we? Hold on, let me check…" said Dipper, walking back around the camera to check that the little red light was on. It was.
"C'mon, bro, you've been checking that dumb camera like, a bajillion times. Sit with me, have like, seventy-seven drinks or somethin'," giggled Mabel. Though his sister wasn't exactly a lightweight, Dipper made sure to get Mabel totally wasted for this video.
It's all for the sake of the video. Keep it together, Pines, he thought, adjusting one of the many lights facing the table.
"Right. Let's get started. In 3…2…"
"Hello Internet *hic* people! My name is Table and this is my friend Han Solo!" interrupted Mabel, holding up a red plastic cup.
"Mabel! I didn't even say '1' yet," said Dipper, smiling.
"It'ssswhatever Dipper, I'm feelin' fantastic!" she said, waving her cup around.
"Shush you! Anyways, let's get this starte-"
"And CUT!"
"Mabel!"
"Sorry…"
"One more time, from the top!" said Dipper. He cleared his throat.
"Hey guys! Welcome back to Dipper and Mabel VLOGS! Today, Mabel's re-"
"Really REALLY shitfaced!" said Mabel, wobbling in her chair.
"Yeah. Mabel wanted to shake things up, and I thought this would be a good idea. We're at home, and we're adults, so why not? Makes for a good episode, right?"
"Shut up and ask me the questions!"
"Edit this out," Dipper said out loud, as a reminder to his future self to cut this part from the video.
"Boop-a-doop-a-doop!" sung Mabel. "Edit, edit edit!"
"Anyways, let's get to the questions," said Dipper. "First question: Do you like puppies?"
"Oh. Em. GEEEE! Puppies are the greatest! They're so cute and adorable and I wanna cuddle with all of them in one big puppy pile. OOH! A PUPPY PILE! Dipper, let's visit the shelter and get a puppy! Or all of them!"
"Mabel, Mabel! Focus! Okay, next question: What would you do if you met puppies right now, while you're drunk?"
"Mmm, I dunno…I'm sure I'll hug and kiss them, but we're miles away from the pet store, Dipper-ino. I dunno how we're supposed to…PUPPYYYYYYYYY!"
The front door opened and Wendy's face appeared in the doorway. The room was suddenly filled with "arf's" and "yip's" as a large group of puppies bounded into the recording space.
"Puppies! What? Where? How…!?" Mabel stuttered, trying to form words as Dipper started pulling puppies off the floor and onto the table.
"OHMYGOSH you're so precious! And you, missy and just the greatest! And you, you rascal."
"Mabel, you're gonna run out of adjectives eventually."
"Nope! I'll never run out! Captivating, charming, cute, delightful, precious, darling, appealing, ambrosial, heavenly…"
"Mabel, are you crying?"
"NO! I'm not crying, you're crying!"
"Mabel, you're seriously crying."
"Hey! Stop zooming in on my tears!"
"So you admit you're crying?"
"MmmmAAAAAAAHHHHHH PUPPIES!" she yelled out, getting up and starting to chase the dogs around the table. A couple of the pups decided to curl up next to Dipper's legs, while the more energetic ones were now piling on top of Mabel, who had collapsed into a giggling, crying mess on the floor.
"DIPPER I LOVE YOU!" Mabel exclaimed before one of the puppies started climbing
"Hey, what's this I hear about some Dippabel action? Or is it Mapper?" said Wendy, coming up behind Dipper and slapping him on the back.
"Wendyyy! Don't say anything unnecessary!" said Dipper, his face turning bright red.
"What, dude? I mean, I kind of knew you two had this sort of vibe goin' on, but man…"
"Wendy!"
"Dude, I'm just jerking your leg."
"Phew. Well, at least that adventure's over."
"Nope, dude, you got one more problem to deal with," said Wendy, taking a step back.
"Huh?" said Dipper, before getting knocked off his feet. He crashed to the carpet, Mabel landing on top of him.
"Mabe-" he said, only to have Mabel press her face into his.
"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU-" she said.
"Mabel I can't breathe!" Dipper managed to gasp before Mabel started kissing his lips over and over.
"LOVE…YOU…LOVE…YOU!" Mabel said between kisses.
"O-kay, star child, I think the poor boy has had enough. Let him breathe."
Mabel sat up on Dipper, saluting to Wendy.
"Yes, ma'am, sir!" she said, wobbling slightly.
"Guess the puppies didn't make Mabel any less sober," said Wendy.
"*hah* Guess *gasp* not," said Dipper, finally getting some breath back. Wendy grabbed the camera.
"Aaaand…ACTION!" Wendy shouted.
"AAH!" screamed Dipper. Mabel resumed her kiss attack with renewed gusto, adding in a few tickles here and there.
Wendy zoomed in on the kisses.
"Yeah, Dip, we're SO not publishing this video. We're keeping this for future reference."
"MABEL!" Dipper screamed, only to have the tickles intensify. The puppies started climbing over the twins as Dipper squirmed.
Finally, Mabel tired herself out and passed out on Dipper's chest. Dipper had passed out from loss of air before Mabel did. Wendy made sure he was still breathing, and then sat against the side of the couch, re-watching the footage.
"Now, then," said Wendy, glancing at the sleeping Pines twins. "What shall we do for the next video?"