Yusuke and Kuwabara's Excellent Adventure
A/N: I know, I know, I know what you're all thinking! 'Why doesn't this lazy girl ever think up anything original? Why does she insist on writing these stupid parodies? And why the hell doesn't she ever update?' Well, I refuse to answer your questions on the grounds that they may incriminate me. In the meantime, I'm writing this fic anyways, which is a parody of a super-hilarious movie, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Enjoy it. And in the meantime, pray for my sanity, or what's left of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, this movie transcript, or the historical figures that appear herein.
Himizu and Ryouko were lying on couches and watching TV. They had been enjoying themselves thoroughly watching a medley of crime shows, comedies, and horror movies. They were bored out of their minds. This was a little unusual, but it was the sad truth. So they decided to start some trouble in the best way they knew how… they decided to do another parody.
"What should we do this time?" Himizu asked.
"Dunno… most of the comedies lately are either totally lame, or totally inappropriate to do with YYH characters since they involve dressing as animals or something," Ryouko said.
"So it stands to reason that we should be looking at slightly older comedies," Himizu said finally. "What have we watched lately?"
"Ooh! Ooh! How about the one about the two guys that traveled through time and stuff?"
"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?"
"Yeah, that one!"
"Excellent!"
"Very. Let's go!"
LATER
The YYH characters were sitting on several couches and chairs nearby. They no longer fought when they were dragged to Animedom; they had learned that the best path was the one of least resistance.
"So what are we doing this time?" Kurama asked calmly.
"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!!!" Ryouko and Himizu chorused.
"Are you kidding me?" Yusuke exclaimed. "That movie is so old!"
"Well, you should be happy about this, Yusuke. I'm finally making you one of the main characters!" Himizu said with a smile.
"Yes! Finally!" Yusuke exclaimed.
"Your co-star is Kuwabara," Ryouko said.
"Wait, what?" Yusuke exclaimed.
"Awesome!" yelled Kuwabara. Kurama began to laugh uncontrollably.
"I take it you have seen this movie, Kurama," Himizu said happily. Kurama nodded.
"What, why?" Yusuke asked.
"You'll see!" Himizu and Ryouko chorused together. "Now let's get started!!!"
(A small cardboard sign appears, which says 'San Dimas, California. 2688')
Rufus Mitari was standing there. "Hi. Welcome to the future. San Dimas, California, 2688 and I'm telling you it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt is clean. Bowling scores are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you this place is great. But it almost wasn't. 700 years ago, the two great ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path the basis of our society will be in danger. Don't worry, it'll all make sense."
(Another cardboard sign, this one saying 'San Dimas, California. 1988')
(Inside Bill Yusuke's Garage)
(Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara are playing their instruments in Bill Yusuke's garage. Ted Kuwabara is videotaping.)
"I'm Bill Yusuke S. Preston, Esquire.
"And I'm Ted Kuwabara 'Theo…'" He realizes he's still behind the camera. "Oh! Bill Yusuke, here take it."
"Okay." He takes the camera and begins filming Ted Kuwabara.
"And I'm Ted Kuwabara "Theodore" Logan."
"Yeah!" Bill Yusuke sets down the camera and faces it so that it's taping both of them.
"And we're Wyld Stallyns!" they yell. They both play their guitars, and they are very bad. They end up blowing out a speaker and they open up the garage door to air out the garage.
"Oh, dude!" yelled Bill Yusuke. "Let's bail. We blew it. I guess we used too much power. Ted Kuwabara, while I agree that in time our band will be most triumphant, the truth is Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar."
"Yes Bill Yusuke, but I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video," Ted Kuwabara replied.
"Ted Kuwabara, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments."
"Well how can we have decent instruments when we really don't even know how to play?"
"That is why we need Eddie Van Halen."
"And that is why we need a triumphant video."
(Pause)
"Excellent." They both do an air guitar.
An alarm clock goes off.
"Uh oh. We're late," said Bill Yusuke.
"For what?" asked Ted Kuwabara.
"For school, dude," Bill Yusuke reminded him.
"Oh yeah."
(School, specifically History Class)
Mr. Ryan Kaito glared at Bill Yusuke. "Bill Yusuke, I'm waiting."
"He's dead?" Bill Yusuke said finally.
"So Bill Yusuke, what you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude," said Mr. Ryan Kaito finally.
"Well yeah," said Bill Yusuke.
Ted Kuwabara leaned over and whispered, "You totally blew it, dude."
"Ted Kuwabara, stand up," said Mr. Ryan Kaito.
"Stand up?"
"Yes baka, stand up." Ted Kuwabara stands up. "Now, who was Joan of Arc?"
"Noah's wife?"
The bell rings for the end of class.
"Listen guys, don't forget, tomorrow. Final Reports, 1:30-3:30, okay?" He turned to Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara as they tried to make their escape. "Hey guys."
"Mr. Ryan Kaito, before you say anything, my distinguished colleague Ted Kuwabara and I wish to express to you our thanks for all the things we have learned in your class," said Bill Yusuke as sincerely as possible.
"And what have you learned?" asked Mr. Ryan Kaito.
"We have, uh…we've learned that the world has a great history," stammered Bill Yusuke.
"Yes, and that thanks to leaders such as Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, and Socratic Method, the world is full of history," added Ted Kuwabara.
"It seems to me that the only thing you have learned is that Caesar was a salad dressing dude. Bill Yusuke, Ted Kuwabara, this is really quite simple. You have flunked every section of this class. Now unless you get an A on your final oral report tomorrow, guys, I have no choice but to flunk the both of you. Now you know your topics so I would at least suggest that you cover those areas." Mr. Ryan Kaito gestured to a paper that Bill Yusuke was holding. "Do you understand?"
"Yes sir," They said, turning to leave.
"Guys." They turned back to him. "Your report had better be something very special."
(Outside the School)
Bill Yusuke and Ted Kuwabara are walking. Ted Kuwabara is carrying a huge pile of books.
"Bill Yusuke, what are we supposed to know for our report?"
"I'm not sure," Bill Yusuke replied. "One thing I know is that Joan of Arc is not Noah's wife."
"Well then who is Noah's wife?"
"I dunno, Ted Kuwabara. But I do know that we're in serious trouble. Listen to this." Bill Yusuke started reading from the paper. "Express to the class how an important historical figure from each of your time periods would view the world of San Dimas, 1988. We're in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted Kuwabara."
Missy Koto drove up in her flashy red car. "Hi, Bill Yusuke. Want a ride?"
"Sure Missy Koto," he answered. She frowned at him. "I mean, Mom." She smiled at him.
"Your step-mom's cute," Ted Kuwabara whispered to Bill Yusuke.
"Shut up, Ted Kuwabara!"
"Remember when she was a senior and we were freshman?" Ted Kuwabara continued whispering.
"Shut up, Ted Kuwabara!"
(Outside Ted Kuwabara's house)
Missy Koto drove up with the boys seated in the backseat.
"I'll be right back, as soon as I get my books," said Ted Kuwabara. He hopped out of the car and ran inside. Bill Yusuke grabbed a bag of chips from one of the grocery bags in the front seat, opened it, and started munching.)
(Inside)
Ted Kuwabara's dad, Captain Logan Karasu was in the living room looking for his car keys. Ted Kuwabara came in quietly and tried to sneak to his room, but his dad spotted him.
"Ted Kuwabara," said Captain Logan Karasu.
"What are you doing home… dad?" Ted Kuwabara asked, twitching quite badly at the though of Karasu being his father. Almost as badly as Kurama would have been twitching. Cuz let's face it, Karasu is just plain creepy.
"I'm looking for my keys," Captain Logan Karasu replied.
"Oh?" asked Ted Kuwabara.
"You haven't done anything with them, have you?"
"No, sir."
"I spoke with your principal today, Ted Kuwabara. He said you're failing History."
"Me and Bill Yusuke…"
"He also said that if you fail History you flunk out of school, and you know what that would mean Ted Kuwabara?"
"That I would have to go to Oats Military Academy, sir."
"Uh-huh. I spoke to Colonel Oats this morning. He's anxious to meet you, Ted Kuwabara."
(Outside)
Ted Kuwabara comes out the front door a few minutes later with his books and hops back into the car. He looked at Bill Yusuke. "Dude, we gotta pass. Otherwise there's no more band."
"Why?"
"My dad's sending me to Military School."
"Where?"
"Alaska."
(San Dimas - 2688)
Three Great Leaders sit on a throne. One of them, Head Leader Genkai, said, "It is time. Their separation is imminent."
Rufus Mitari nodded. The Leader opened her hand and a ball of light came out. It formed a piece of metal, a 1988 telephone booth.
"Be excellent to each other," said Rufus Mitari.
"Party on, dude!" Head Leader Genkai replied.
Rufus Mitari stepped into the booth, dialed the phone, and took off for the past.
"You two are so weird… What drugs are you on?" Hiei asked.
"Caffeine mostly. The rest of it is just stuff that we convince ourselves are drugs but aren't… anything with sugar is a given," Himizu said. "What do you think of this movie so far?"
"Not bad…" Hiei admitted.
"That's just because you haven't been in it yet and you get to watch Yusuke and Kuwabara make complete fools out of themselves," Ryouko pointed out.
"And what's wrong with that?" Hiei asked.
"Absolutely nothing!" Ryouko replied.
"And next time, the boys are finally going to get to time travel. And Hiei will be in the next one," Himizu said perkily.
"Do I have to?" he asked.
"Yep. And you'll love your costume," Ryouko said with a straight face. She and Himizu caught each other's eyes and then they started cracking up. Hiei sighed.
"This is not a good sign…" he muttered.
A/N: I plan to finish the last chapter of this fic within the next couple of days, so you can expect the story to be posted fairly quickly, within the month. Hope you like it. Please review, I could use an ego boost, maybe it'll inspire me to work on other fics.