All We Have To Fear

by Gary D. Snyder

Chapter 1:

"Settle down, settle down, cla-a-a-as," Miss Fowl clucked.The usual Friday morning buzz from the children in her classroom faded and she went on. "I have an anno o o uncement to make. Due to an unfortunate shortfall in our budget, our planned trip to the planetarium on Tuesday will have to be – bra-a-awk – cancelled." She sighed. "Again."

"Gas planets!" 11-year-old genius Jimmy Neutron grumbled to no one in particular. "That's like the millionth time in a row now. We'll never have that planetarium field trip!"

Cindy Vortex, the pretty blonde who sat to the left of him, overheard his complaining and frowned. "Oh, stop griping, already" she said. "You're not missing out on anything. At least you have a telescope at home."

"Yeah, and a rocket ship," added Jimmy's best friend, Carl Wheezer, who sat to Jimmy's right.

"And I think he's launched two or three deep space probes…this month," continued Sheen Estevez, Jimmy's other friend who sat behind Carl.

"Okay, okay!" Jimmy broke in. "So I can experience the wonders of the universe. That's not the point. Everyone in Lindbergh Elementary should have the right to experience the marvels of science firsthand. If they don't have the chance to satisfy their natural scientific curiosity, they may become totally maladjusted social outcasts like…like…"

"Like you?" Libby Folfax sniped from the other side of Cindy. Most of the students sitting nearby laughed at this.

"Laugh if you want," retorted Jimmy, who was used to being mocked and scoffed at by most of the other students. "But this is totally unacceptable. Miss Fowl!" he called out, raising his hand.

Winnifred Fowl heaved a heavy sigh but despite past experiences with Jimmy was too good a teacher to ignore any student in her class. "Yes, Jimmy?"

"Just how much money would we need for this field trip?"

"Well, the admission is 7.50 per student, and the cost for the bus there is another 250.00. The total for this class would be more than 400.00. And unfo-o-ortunately the school doesn't have it."
Jimmy's stood up and smacked his fist into his open palm. "Then we'll get it."

"How Jimmy?" asked Carl Wheezer, who sat to Jimmy's right.

"Yeah, how?" echoed Jimmy's other friend Sheen Estevez, who sat behind Carl.

Jimmy lowered his head, put his hands behind his back, and began to pace back and forth. "Well, the three time-honored methods of raising money for a school function are selling some sort of merchandise, providing some sort of service, or hosting some type of event."

"Well, the first idea is out," said Libby. "We don't have anything to sell or any money to buy something and sell for a profit."

Sheen looked sad and announced in a glum tone, "Well, if it's for a good cause, I suppose I could donate my old bubble gum collection."

Libby gave Sheen a strange look. "Don't you mean your old bubble gum card collection?"

Sheen simply looked puzzled and shook his head. "No."

"Okay," said Jimmy. "If we don't have anything to sell, I guess we have to consider the second option of providing some service, like washing cars."

Cindy laughed at that. "When it rains twice a week at this time of year? Fat chance of that."

"Well, there are other things we could do," Jimmy replied. "We could have a babysitting center."

"Uh-uh, no way," countered Libby. "Anytime there's watching little kids involved it's the girls who end up doing all the work. Especially if there are diapers to be changed."

The other girls in the classroom grimaced and nodded at Libby's comments and Jimmy decided to make a strategic retreat. "Okay, scratch that idea. I guess that leaves hosting some kind of event."

Sheen asked the obvious question. "Like what?"

In response to this Carl leapt to his feet, sure that he had the answer. "Hey, kids!" he yelled enthusiastically. "Let's put on a show!"

"I don't think so," replied Cindy, shaking her head.

Carl looked crestfallen. "Why not?" he asked.

"I'll give you three reasons." Cindy began ticking off her fingers. "One, we don't have the time. Two, we don't have the talent – well, most of us don't. And three, this isn't some 1930's black-and-white movie."

"Well, what else is there?" Sheen demanded.

"How about a carnival?" suggested Britney.

Jimmy shook his head. "We don't have anything to set up a carnival."

Miss Fowl cleared her throat. "Well…" she began hesitantly. She had been listening patiently and waiting for a chance to start her lessons but felt that she should try to encourage the students' initiative. The entire class looked at her and she paused before going on. "We do have all the school's sets and pro o ops for the annual activities that we could use."

"What a minute," Butch said. "The only school activities that we have are the Hallowe'en festival and the Christmas show."

"You mean the Autumn Cavalcade and Winter Holidays Celebration," Miss Fowl corrected.

"Thank you. Miss Fowl," Yentl Marmelstein piped up.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Butch. "As far as I'm concerned if it has pumpkins it's Hallowe'en and if it has reindeer it's Christmas."

"Now, Bu-u-utch," Miss Fowl began. "You should really be more sensitive about…"

Jimmy had been thinking and snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he exclaimed.

Miss Fowl blinked. "What's that, Jimmy?"

Jimmy began pacing back and forth again in excitement. "It's only been a few months since Christmas, so that's out. But it's been a while since Hallowe'en. We can set something up with the stuff from that!"

Cindy looked dubious, as did most of the rest of the class. "Hallowe'en in spring?" she asked.
"Autumn Cavalcade!" squawked Miss Fowl.

Jimmy shook his head. "No, not the whole holiday. We'll set up a haunted house attraction. There are plenty of scary props to use. And we can always come up with more to make it even more interesting."

Nick Dean expressed the doubts the other students were feeling. "I don't know, Neutron. Why would anyone want to go to a haunted house exhibit at this time of year? I mean, Easter is just around the corner. I don't know that fluffy bunnies and colored eggs really go with scary."

Carl cringed. "They do for me," he whispered hoarsely.

Jimmy stuck to his guns. "Scientific studies have clearly shown that people like being scared."

"I don't," whimpered Carl.

Jimmy corrected himself. "Most people. That's why they love to see horror movies and listen to ghost stories at camp and go on amusement park thrill rides. The Bat Outta Heck ride at Retroland is the scariest there and it always has the longest lines."

Nick looked unusually thoughtful and began nodding. "Maybe you have something there Neutron."

"I'm sure of it," Jimmy insisted confidently. "Tomorrow morning we can all get together, put the house up, and open it for the weekend. At two dollars apiece I'm sure we can get enough people to have all the money we need in time for the field trip on Tuesday."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Nick objected. "I don't mind going along with the haunted house idea, but working on Saturday is definitely not part of my personal agenda. Why should I have to give up my prime hanging time to put the thing up?"

"Yeah, Jimmy," agreed Sheen. "I mean, Saturday morning only comes once a week."

The rest of the class appeared to be in agreement with this sentiment and Jimmy strove to change their minds and attitudes. "Because that's the only way we can all go to the planetarium and witness firsthand the celestial glories of the vast and unexplored cosmos about us."

The class simply stared at him. "And?" Sheen finally asked.

Jimmy had hoped to reach the more noble aspects of his classmates' natures but saw that more earthy measures were needed. "And it will get us out of school for a day," was Jimmy's despondent reply.

This appealed to Nick's sensibilities. "Sounds good to me," he admitted. "Okay, I'm in."

With Nick committed to the project the other students readily followed, especially with Cindy's whole-hearted support. "Okay, people!" she called out as she leapt to her feet. "You heard the man! Tomorrow morning at 8:00 AM we put up a haunted house to end all haunted houses!" As the other students clapped and cheered in anticipation of the event Cindy resumed her seat. "This idea of yours had better work, Neutron," she told Jimmy quietly, "or once I kill you there really will be a ghost haunting these halls."

"No problems," Jimmy replied. He had been thinking about the haunted house idea and had thought of a way to ensure that the activity was a resounding success. The impish smile he gave Cindy seemed almost devilish. "I guarantee that this will be something that no one will ever forget."

As he turned away again Cindy felt vaguely uncomfortable, as though some premonition of doom had settled over her. What is he hatching in that big brain of his now? she wondered. And why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

Sheen seemed the most excited by the idea of a haunted house. "This is going to be great!" he chortled in glee. "I can hardly wait for Saturday! Even more than usual, I might add."

"I'm very happy for you," Miss Fowl told him with a polite smile. "But since it's still Friday…"

"Yes?" asked Sheen, smiling back.

He voice suddenly hardened and became all business. "Why don't we actually have class now?"

End of Chapter 1

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