Summary: Minato isn't sure when Kakashi grew up. Kakashi thinks that he should've noticed in the three years they'd shacked up together to raise baby Naruto. Also, they are married to each other, but neither one of them realizes it. And on top of all that, why on earth do people keep inviting Kakashi to onsens and drinking parties all of a sudden? ಠ_ಠ
Note: I tweaked the ages a tad. Kakashi is about 7 years younger than Minato. The two men are living together in the newly created Namikaze estate so they can raise Naruto together. To Naruto, Papa and Mama = Minato and Kakashi, respectively. Suffice it to say, Minato is alive and Kakashi does not want to be called mama. Remember, this is just supposed to be like a little…fun piece. It's mostly fluff, teensy bits of angst here and there and a whole boatload of humor. At this point in time, Minato is 25, Kakashi is 18, and Naruto is almost 3 years old.
Disclaimer: Is Minato alive and kicking? No? Then I don't own the series :/ all I can say is, "WAHHH!"
Warnings:
Bad comedy (I think some of this stuff is funny, not sure anyone else will xD), bad grammar and spelling (it won't be TERRIBLE hopefully, but not good either), possibly a little boring (I hope not, but the plot hasn't even started yet since this is the prologue. Again, bear with me?), possible confusion (a lot of stuff will be explained in later chapters...but well, not here xD), some bad language (nothing most people shouldn't know though xD), some OOC (IDK...i tried to keep them in character...but I'm pretty sure I seriously deviated at some point. It's romance and humor xD more fluff and obliviousness than anything else. I think I can be forgiven as long as Minato doesn't wear a dress, without good cause, at some point), the pairing (this will be MinatoXKakashi. Don't complain to me about the pairing. Seriously. I will not be held responsible for my actions if you do) and finally SLASH (and just to make sure the point is made, SLASH, as in BOYS MAKING OUT WITH/HAVING SEX WITH/BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER BOYS. If this isn't to your liking, leave. Please.)
Reading Key: || Blah || – means that it's a blatant author's interjection/point of view,there will be very few of these; bold – dialog; italics is exaggeration.
||The story begins with an absolutely amusing scene in which the Yondaime Hokage is having a miniature melt-down in the face of certain…events. As for the location of this little scene, the two were standing in the kitchen, where Minato had ambushed Kakashi just as he was about to make dinner.||
"When did you get old enough to do that?" Minato demanded as he violently shook an apathetic looking Hatake Kakashi, "Better yet, when did you even learn any of this?"
He glared at Kakashi who, for his part, merely raised his only visible eyebrow and continued reading whatever book on tactical planning or doggy care he'd picked up that week.
The silver-haired nin didn't bother to really respond because he knew Minato and he knew that the man wasn't done ranting despite phrasing everything in the interrogatory form. Oh no, not by a long shot; because when Namikaze Minato started ranting, one needed to let him get in his full piece before speaking. Or else, the argument would take weird turns that did not bode well.
A perfect example would be that one time when the newly promoted Jounin, Maito Gai, who had dared to interject before the Hokage was done. Noone knew exactly what had happened or even what had been said, but after The Incident (as everyone had tentatively dubbed it), Gai had turned…off kilter. He'd gone from neat, clean and well respected to absolutely and devastatingly creepy in a matter of minutes. He'd changed his hair and his outfit had turned green, orange and hideous; and then, the youth speeches and sparkles had commenced… Suffice it to say, Gai hadn't been the same since, and unfortunately neither had any shinobi who came into contact with him.
Kakashi barely suppressed a shiver at the thought of turning into something like that and decided that it would be better if he held his peace until the blond was done. After all, he had self-preservation in spades….and he had so much to live for! The famed jounin mentally fortified himself and quickly settled down to simply endure as he was shaken like a ragdoll by a panicking Hokage.
Besides all that, he wasn't exactly positive as to what he'd done wrong to begin with. He was pretty sure that there wasn't anything he'd done recently that would require being scolded, after all. And judging by the reaction alone wasn't enough; his sensei just wasn't coherent enough to explain anything.
On top of all that, there was also the chance that this had nothing to do with him at all and was, in fact, something only Minato himself had a problem with. After all, the blond had always had strange reactions to certain events and never reacted as one would expect. Like that one time back when they'd been a genin/chunin cell and Rin had burst into tears for no apparent reason. Him and Obito had expected their sensei to calm the girl down. Instead, the blond had looked at the girl's chest, had absolutely freaked, and then, he had proceeded to grab Obito and Kakashi and run like the demons from hell were after them. Kakashi had been astonished and more than a little embarrassed.
Granted, it was kinda scary to watch a girl that small break through a small mountain as she started to cry...
It wasn't until later on, when another jounin had sat down and explained just why his sensei was rocking back and forth while mumbling about not being ready, that Kakashi finally got it. And even then, he didn't get what the big deal was. As far as he could see, puberty only brought on the occasional bursting into tears and other than that, Rin was the same old, sweet-faced tyrant that she'd always been. But after that incident, every four weeks on the dot, Minato would walk on eggshells around the girl.
Suffice it to say, Rin had abused her power shamelessly.
And then there was the time with Naruto's first word, which was a whole new league of weird. Apparently, the fact that said word had been some garbled form of Kakashi's name meant that Minato, the freaking Hokage, could go around calling him Naruto's mama. Granted, Kakashi hadn't exactly minded and had maybe even felt a little warmed by the display even though he'd pretended to be annoyed; he had a reputation to maintain after all. But fuckitall, the silver haired jounin had been expecting a tantrum of epic proportions. He'd expected pouting and sulking; and overall, he'd expected behavior that was thoroughly unfitting for the most powerful man in the land of fire. He'd had speeches and scientific research all prepared to quell the other man's ire and had been prepared to grovel if that got him off the hook. But, in the end, all he'd gotten was a back-breaking hug and an armful of Namikazes (both Naruto AND Minato). It was almost disappointing except not really because he'd been warm and comfortable and squished between a twenty-five year old and an eight month old, thank you.
Bah.
Digressions aside however, they had come full circle once more. Minato was freaking out over god knows what and honestly, Kakashi probably wouldn't be able to figure it out unless the man sat him down and explained things to him, in detail...with charts, maps and possibly translators.
Kakashi tuned back into his former sensei's ranting just as the man was winding down, watching with fascination as the man flailed like one possessed, which, to be fair, was entirely possible with Minato. God knew, that kind of energy had to come from somewhere and in Minato's case, the supernatural was probably the only fitting source. The silver-haired man tuned back in once more.
"And seriously, if I ever get my hands on the person who introduced you to such terrible influences, I'll strangle him," and here, Kakashi watched with fascination as there was much gesturing and air-strangling, "And I'll make them regret they were ever born!" Having said which,the Yondaime Hokage finally plopped onto a conveniently placed chair with a pout, sulking as though he were a pre-teen instead of a fully grown and capable adult, a ninja one at that.
Kakashi barely held back a snort; no matter what, Minato could never be described as an adult.
Anyway, the silver-haired man sighed a little, wondering what he'd done, beyond his livelihood, to deserve this. And with no answers forth-coming, he allowed himself to sigh once again.
Oh well, atleast the blond had quieted down now and it was finally his turn to talk. Hell, he could even have some fun with this situation if he played his cards right.
Kakashi made a show of slowly looking up from his book, his eyebrow still raised and his eyes questioning both in curiosity and as a means of irritating the man before him. The blond was just so endearing when he was flailing about like an inept genin; it made Kakashi think of his little puppies. As though in reaction to Kakashi's very thoughts, though his actions probably had a lot to do with it too, Minato reacted. "Goddamn it to hell, Kakashi! Are you even listening to me?"
Ah, nothing riled his former sensei more than the feeling of being ignored, and Kakashi had no problems whatsoever with exploiting that weakness. The silver-haired man blinked as slowly as he could, before turning back to his book. He almost felt bad about riling the blond up when something was obviously bothering him, but Kakashi was sure that Minato would eventually get around to telling him…eventually.
And in the meantime, there was fun to be had! Kakashi pretended to absolutely bury his nose in the manuscript in his hand, as though Minato just wasn't his time. The man would probably explode.
Kakashi was not disappointed.
With what the silver-haired jounin thought was an unnecessary and yet amusing roar of frustration, Minato yanked the book out of his hands, his teeth grit and his eyes flashing, "Pay. Attention. When. I'm. Talking. To. You."
Ah, the angry sensei voice had come out.
Kakashi couldn't help but smile. It was so cute how the Hokage seemed to think that the tactics of youth would work against Kakashi now. Of course, Kakashi also steadfastly ignored the fact that he was a youth and really, so was Minato. In fact, he completely forgot that the entirety of their rag-tag little family was made up of two youths and a toddler. He also ignored the fact that the sensei voice did work. In fact, it worked more than it didn't.
But that's another story for another day.
Going for another tactic in his campaign to make the Hokage implode in on himself, Kakashi decided to mock the blond a little. He focused his eye on Minato, looking for all the world like a ninja awaiting his next orders from the Hokage, instead of the family that they were supposed to be. This would probably get an even bigger rise out of the blond since the man was absolutely adamant about maintaining a line between work and family. Hell, Kakashi had scars from the last time he'd called Minato by anything but his name while 'in the sanctity of their home,' as Minato liked to phrase it. This was going to be good.
Except for the part where it wasn't.
Instead of becoming apoplectic as Kakashi had expected, Minato seemed to slump as all the fight seemed to drain out of him.
And Kakashi was left gaping and sadly enough, floundering.
That wasn't supposed to happen, dammit! The man actually looked like one of his baby ninken after a grueling day. He just looked…sad and defeated.
And to make things worse, Kakashi had no contingency plans (after all, Minato becoming sad wasn't part of the plan at all), nor did he have any idea of how to go about comforting the blond (especially since he had no idea what the problem was).
The copy-ninja of Konoha was at a loss for the first time in a very, very long time.
He was about to gently (and carefully, so as not to set off the typically volatile man) wrap an arm around Minato's shoulder, and set about trying to pry information out of his otherwise stubborn-as-all-fuck sensei, when back up came in the form of a small toddler.
"Ma! Pa!" Naruto, the darling, savior, blond, angel of a boy that he was, came tottering over with all the grace his two and a half year old self could muster, "Hungy! Hungy!"
Hale-fucking-lujah.
Cliched or not; implausible or not; the tension dissipated from the room as the child barged in and holy hell, Kakashi was grateful.
The silver-haired jounin found himself chuckling as he picked up the little one and didn't even bother to flinch back when Naruto, as usual, pulled down his mask. Hell, he didn't lightly scold the child for calling him 'ma,' as he typically would.
He walked over to Minato who, as expected, instantly cheered up the second his son was plopped onto his lap. The blond tickled the toddler version of himself in the tummy, making funny faces at his baby boy, all past moments of depression forgotten.
Kakashi couldn't help but smile. He felt himself warming at the bond those two shared and found himself thanking god that everything had turned out so well.
Because almost three years ago, Kakashi had watched his vibrant, brilliant, beautiful, moronically heroic former-sensei almost sign his life away to save the village. He himself had been prepared to die, had counted on it in fact. He had been there to see the massive chakra outbreak that had happened when the fox had finally been sealed in the newborn baby. Hell, he'd felt the massive chakra outbreak at point blank range. He'd stayed to die, knowing that with his sensei gone, he had nothing left. Surely, little Naruto would not survive the sealing? And so, with a bleak, empty feeling lodged in his heart he'd run to die.
And then he'd woken up in a dimly lit room, with his former sensei in the bed opposite him and with a squalling infant in a cradle in the middle. He'd dimly gotten up, wanting the noise to stop and had walked over to the crib and the squalling had stopped. Kakashi had found himself slowly removing the scraps that covered his face as he looked down on the little one, memorizing the babe's features and falling just a little bit in love with the mini clone of his sensei. He'd only snapped out of staring at the young one when a painful groan erupted from the other bed, a groan that sounded distinctly like the one…
…sensei?
And then the nurse had rushed in, looking furious with him for being out of bed. And that, as they say, was that.
Kakashi snapped out of his musings as the toddler gave out a particularly loud giggle; and he found himself warming a little once more. He made himself box away the depressing thoughts and only allowed himself to process what was right in front of him –food. The past was in the past after all, and right now he had a couple of hungry blonds to feed.
As an added incentive, if he didn't get to it soon, Minato might try to cook again and who knew what disaster would come of that this time? The last time had been bad enough and Kakashi's apartment had burned down…
A great and admirable Hokage and overall ninja Minato was; anywhere near as good in the kitchen, he was not.
Admittedly, that was the incident which had forced Kakashi to find a new place, which had then resulted in Minato essentially forcing him to live in the Namikaze compound out of pure guilt. Not two weeks later, Minato had decided that the move would be permanent, the choice not even being given to Kakashi, of course. And after a small argument, in which Minato had pouted, shamelessly used his only son as an extremely adorable bargaining chip and had essentially tied Kakashi down to a bed until the silver-haired man had acquiesced.
…to this day Kakashi isn't sure what to think of that situation.
But in the end, everyone was happy and that was what was important. Naruto had always loved having him around, as Minato was happy to point out regularly whenever it looked like Kakashi was even thinking about looking for another place to live. The older blond was happy as well, since he loved having Kakashi (and his cooking and parenting skills) around as well. And Kakashi himself loved the two blonds more than anything else…
Sure, Minato was incapable of any kind of housework which meant most of the work fell on the copy-nin. Sure, Naruto was too young to do anything but drool, eat, sleep, poop and occasionally call Kakashi, 'ma,' or Minato, 'pa.' Sure, Minato still made decisions for him without consulting him….
Like the time when the blond had gotten it into his head that as he and Kakashi had to share the same room since they were the 'parents' and the 'adults of the house'. Of course, all of this was while said silver-head was on a long mission. Kakashi had come home to find all of his things in the main bedroom, intermingled with Minato's things and, to make things worse, he had lost the resultant argument against the blond spectacularly.
But, further digression aside, he still loved the two blond idiots more than anything else….and atleast Minato had let him have his own bed…
Everything had worked out.
Sort of…?
The acclaimed copy-non sighed a little, allowing himself a smile, before tossing together a quick stir-fry and a small stack of peanut butter sandwiches and milk for the little one.
The cheers he got as he set the food on the table made him grin, which was amplified because it was without the mask covering up his face. Things were somewhat back to normal and no longer weird like it had been before Naruto had barged in.
||Of course, he didn't notice the way the older blond stopped for a second to stare…||
After dinner, however, things began to turn weird again.
As Kakashi was doing dishes, Minato came over and wrapped his arms around Kakashi, burying his face into the other man's neck.
Sadly, that in and of itself wasn't the odd part.
Kakashi was well used to his over-affectionate sensei's antics; living with the man for bordering on three years had assured that he'd acclimated out of pure self-preservation, after all. The man was just an affectionate person by nature and snuffling at other people came as naturally to the blond as being cute did for Naruto. Kakashi merely hummed contentedly and leaned back into the embrace as he always did; allowing the warmth to wash over him as he waited for Minato to spill whatever it was that bothering him.
It was a sort of ritual, and one that was well used at that.
Every night, as Kakashi would get around to doing dishes, Minato would come and just bask in his presence. Usually, the blond would wrap himself around his former student and just burrow for a while, rather like one of Kakashi's puppies when something was bothering one of them. Given enough time and silence, the blond would then talk about his day, or talk about whatever was bothering him at the time.
Sometimes he would talk about nothing and at others, everything.
On a night when there were no dishes to be done, Minato would simply corner Kakashi on the couch and do the ritual there, which could sometimes get uncomfortable because it usually involved actual, painful, sofa corners.
But that was neither here nor there.
Either way, Kakashi didn't have to wait long for the snuffling around his neck to cease or for Minato to speak; and that was when things got weird.
"Ne…Kakashi…"
"Hmm?" Kakashi hummed, taking a kunai out of his hip-pouch and using it to pick at a particularly stubborn piece of food that was stuck to the plate he was washing.
"You'd tell me if you were to ever…you know…"
Kakashi continued to pick at the plate gently, slowly scraping the food off the plate even as he silently encouraged his former sensei to speak by nudging back against.
When the man wouldn't speak, he verbalized his encouragement, "What is it, sensei?"
He felt the blond nuzzle some more before he mumbled doggedly to just call him Minato, already.
But Kakashi wasn't fooled by the change in topic and mentally prepared for the worst. This was probably going to be serious if the previous mood, before Naruto had come along to diffuse it, was anything to go by.
Minato took a deep breath.
Kakashi tensed minutely.
"You'd tell me if you lost your virginity, right? Or even if you were thinking of it?"
The only indication that Kakashi was perturbed was that the kunai went through the plate instead of gently scraping away. Otherwise, Kakashi was proud to say that his response was quite bland.
"…hah?"
A/N: So...what'd you think? :) this has been in my head for MONTHS and it drove me crazy til I typed it out. This was done in 45 minutes so it probably isn't the best thing grammar and spelling-wise. I sowwy. But I'd really appreciate it if you could REVIEW. I'm sick of logging in to find out that a story has brought a hundred alerts, a hundred favorites (both author and story) and then only seeing like...5 reviews. I understand that not everyone has the time. But come on now, atleast a few would be nice, you know? I spent time and energy on this and it hurts to not have any validation.
So please, review.
At the same time, please don't be a total douche either. Constructive criticism is good. Flames are BAD. They hurt people.
That being said, I really hope you enjoyed this. Chapter two will come out when it's ready, which is probably in a week or so. I work a lot and am going through school too. So bear with me :)