"No, no, no," He says, "Give me someone I like!"
Then she appears. Her in her blue and purple (yellow and pink); all smiling eyes and pearl-white teeth flickering in the pixelated image, she looks so beautiful.
He almost wished she would have died.
His Rose, his beautiful Rose Tyler. He wished her dead. Just to avoid his heartache. To avoid thinking about if she was married, if she had children with his clone (brown eyes and brown hair, the one, no two, no three, adventures he could never have), if she missed him. If she woke up with his name on her lips and his face in her mind; 'wake up' he would say in the mornings, wrapping her in his arms. But it wasn't him. It was a clone. A falsity; a lie, because he could feel what the Doctor felt but it would only be a fraction of it; love for humans was overwhelming to them.
But that's not hard. Overload the senses, release oxytocin in their brains every seven seconds. They'll be head over heels in no time. But a Time Lord? Love was never easy. Love was hard, love was time and patience. Love was a broken man and a bright smile. Love was a girl so young, so bright, and forever in every way but what counted. Love took time. Love took adventures. Love enveloped him and squeezed, mocking him with his need for her. His want for her presence wherever he went. Love consumed him like a fire, blazing in the darkest night and swelling to a crescendo that had him reeling.
Love was Rose Tyler.
Love was losing her. Love was pain. Love was thinking about her every blasted day of the year for an eternity. Every morning waking up thinking it was all a nightmare. Every night going to sleep and wishing it was one. He stopped sleeping. It brought nothing but empty white spaces and a scream that would do no good.
So he wished she had died instead. In his arms, looking up at him with bright eyes, and telling him that she loved him. He would have said it back that time, said it when there were no chances to squander with the hope that he might – one day – find his way back to her.
But now she was trapped in a parallel world, stuck with another him (jealousy is an ugly thing, he tells himself) and a lifetime to use.
He wished Rose Tyler had died. And yet…yet that hurt even more. Eyes never blinking, mouth never moving, hands never twining with his. Even a false-him. She would be dead. Gone. A blip in the Universe but a hole in his world; it would be devastating.
("Thanks, give me guilt!" Give me someone else.)
So, yes, he wishes her dead.
Because living without her is killing him.