Author's Note: Somebody had told me that "where" in Shakespearian terms means "Why"...which is absolutely perfect. I love it.

Okay, this is an old story I wrote and I actually uploaded these first three chapters on my old account here on I just decided to revise and upload them here on my new account because I really like this story...a lot.

It's heavily influenced by one of my favorite movies. Guess what it is! I'll give you a clue...Frank.

ooooooooooooo back flashes (I couldn't think of anything wittier...)

xoxox Time breaks (you know the drill)

Tifa, Where Art Thou?

By: Xtine (formerly Tiffy)

Little light flooded the air, leaving it to be overcome by the shadows the moon cast upon the hopeless earth. The night air was chilling, biting any flesh that was left exposed on the young woman's body. She shivered involuntarily as an upcoming breeze whistled upon her. She lay on a desolate paved road; a single street lamp's light glazing the top of the freshly fallen rain.

Tifa Lockheart was left upon the road in an unconscious state, her mind drifting far away in the endless bounds of her imagination. This wasn't the first time she found herself in the middle of nowhere with no explanation, and in fact it had just now become more of a recent thing. She had been a "normal" human being once, not having to go to a psychiatrist every week for her mental disorders.

Emotionally distressed? Tifa Lockheart? She used to always think those thoughts when she had first found out about the whole ordeal, although she could see how it happened, before everything spiraled down an endless abyss.

oooooooooooo

A month had passed and meteor was the last thing Tifa wanted to remember at the moment. Yes, she had helped on destroying Armageddon, but she felt AVALANCHE was beginning to be overrated, at least with the media and all. It was to be expected though, and she learned to deal and overcome it, even if it was rather annoying to have a news reporter or journalist pop up at her house every other day.

Her newfound fame was the least on her mind though. Everything around her was becoming distorted and tangled as she looked at her world as it finally came to a sudden stop. The fighting was over, everybody had separated his or her own way, and now she was left to become a normal citizen and live life as if nothing ever happened.

She gave a deep sigh as she sat on the table with paper and pen in hand. Her other arm propped her head up by her elbow as she looked down at the yellow lined paper once again. Her mind was racing with deranged thoughts, and she knew that it would be best to write them down before they got out of hand.

Damn it Cloud! The only time she ever cursed was when she was thinking, usually. She placed the pen on the paper and began to scribble down words, the ballpoint pressing hard into the paper leaving indents along with the writing. Why are you so hung up on that little flower girl, huh? She's dead Cloud! Yeah, you've got it, dead! She's not coming back so why can't you just get over her?

Her mind began to race in its usual rage as she thought about the predicament Cloud and her were in at the moment. Surprisingly they were living together, for after they finally destroyed their enemy neither of them had any better place to go. Together they decided to return to Nibelheim, maybe flourish into a few lost memories and try to make new ones.

Hopeless lies! She spat onto the paper as she reminisced in the time they traveled here. At first things were looking up for her—her feelings were easy to sort out and she knew exactly who they would, or should belong to. Cloud on the other hand was beginning to go down hill ever since they returned to their old home. He was becoming more secluded into himself, wandering around only when he felt that he should be bothered.

Their separation with each other had gotten to the point where it almost seemed as if neither one of them lived in the same house together. Tifa never saw Cloud, for he was always locked away in his room and would refuse to speak to her whenever she even simply stated his name. The rejection there was beginning to set a flame of anger within Tifa's soul, but her love for him was too strong to be overcome by the simple feeling, and many times she would deny his rejection as "accidental."

Cloud, why can't you just love me like I love you? She asked, looking up from her paper and out the crystallized window that was on the wall ahead of her. Her eyes gazed out the window, and she saw him—standing outside, his head raised high as the rain pelted down upon his almost lifeless body.

You're dead to me Cloud…you have died along with Aerith, you're mortal body serving more as a cage than actual life. I'll do it—I'll tell you my feelings, to see if you really do exist. The only thing is, your existence is my existence, and with out you…? Tifa stopped writing; her throat becoming sore and she felt a lump form, choking her breathing. …Without you Cloud, I am nothing.

If she had only known the outcome of her courageous step she probably would have never even had the thought leap into her head—but sadly she did not have that ability. The rain was beginning to let up and she had finally mustered up a short speech she would say to him, hoping that he would understand. Taking a deep breath, she stood from the chair that she had been sitting in and strolled out of the house to where he was standing.

She found herself being stopped when she walked out the side door into the yard on the side of their property. Taking a minute to see the sight in front of her, she saw that there was pain in his face, and she almost was deciding against her decision.

Tifa, for once in your life be strong! She demanded to herself, closed her eyes and gave a short prayer to whatever God was listening to her hopes.

She walked forward, and stopped a few feet away from Cloud, hoping that he would have heard her. Realizing that he still had his attention up towards the sky, she figured that he either heard her and was ignoring her presence, or he really hadn't noticed her coming.

She cleared her throat. "Cloud?"

The blonde-haired man snapped out of his daydream and whipped his head to where the voice had been emitted. His eyes were wide, full of curiosity until he redeemed the feeling into hurt after seeing that it was only Tifa.

Tifa gave a sigh. "Cloud, I know you've been hurt…and I realize that I'm not going to be helping you by sticking around here."

Cloud quirked an eyebrow, becoming intrigued as to what she was getting at. He turned his body towards her, looked down at her and was about to speak before he heard her ramble on.

"I just wanted to tell you Cloud--," she tried to stammer out her speech, but somehow it was getting stuck in the back of her throat.

"What is it?"

She really wished he hadn't of spoken. It was much easier not hearing his soothing tone float into her brain and just carouse her senses. She knew she would have to admit to him though; she was tired of living in denial.

"Cloud, I love you." Awkward silence. A minute must have gone by without a word being said, neither of them moving a single muscle.

Cloud knew he had to speak, and he had to tell her the truth because even he had the heart enough to not let a person hold onto false hopes; the only problem was he was rather blunt about it. "Tifa, but I don't love you."

Everything stopped. He had to say something…why couldn't he of just stayed quiet? Her breathing became sparse; the world turned into a black cloud, her chest seemed to be torn apart into one hundred directions as she felt every emotion split into heartbreak. It wouldn't have hurt so much not knowing the truth. A stray tear took a course down her cheek, and that was the only one. She turned her pain into anger, her upper lip curled as she tried to prevent the bottom one from quivering. After finally straightening out her feelings, she finally found the courage to speak again.

"I figured," she started, her voice solemn and lacking her usually enthusiasm and optimism. She had suddenly turned into a completely different person, her face appearing to be dark and her voice lacking any life. "I understand Cloud, and that's why I'm leaving."

"You're doing what?" Cloud asked, perplexed by her sudden thought of departure.

"Leaving," she felt as if she had to spell it out to him. "You know the thing people do when they can't face life anymore? I'm running Cloud—I'm running away from you; I'm running away from this whole damned world!"

She had broken her barrier; tears began to spill over her eyes lids, but not tears of heartache, but rather tears of loneliness, tears of confusion, tears of stress, and tears of anger.

"I cannot take this bull shit from you Cloud!" her voice squeaked, she could feel her inner rage coming through. She never cursed, never, and all of a sudden the words she refused to use were flowing of her tongue as if she were talking like Cid.

"Well what about me Tifa? You hang around here as if you're expecting something from me!" Cloud had to counter, for all of his life he was taught to never be beaten by an enemy, and the tone in Tifa's voice made her sound like an enemy.

"You know what…you're right Cloud. How could I expect anything from a failure?" she knew she hit him hard, and she knew she would regret saying that. Cloud felt the insult, but not as much as Tifa did as he threw his hand across her face. The slap across on her cheek was not hard enough to knock her down, but it was strong enough to make her turn her face away, and she could feel the stinging of the handprint.

"Tifa…I—I'm sorry, I—didn't mean…" he didn't even finish as he realized what had just happened. Tifa on the other hand felt the burning rush of his abuse, and didn't even bother to give him a single glance before she took a turn in the opposite direction. He tried to find something to say to make her stay, but after their heated argument he knew that this was it. He was a failure…

ooooooooo

From the day she left to the time of her life now, it seemed as if she had never had a single happy moment in her life. She left Nibelheim for a small town called Kalm, hoping that maybe she would be able to turn her life around. Once there she managed to rummage up enough money to buy an old beaten down shack the she turned into a small coffee house, only because she could not afford turning it into a bar like her old one.

The town was not as she remembered, for many of the inhabitants of Midgar had to be housed there because of the destruction, and considering chances were slim that the great city of Midgar would ever be rebuilt, many of the inhabitants became citizens of the town.

She never got to know anybody, except for a few frequent customers at her café. Her life was lonely, and she lived a routinely life for a full year before she realized that problems were occurring.

Tifa had openly admitted to a psychiatrist that she was probably in a depressed state of her life, and she was openly given pills to help her overcome that. It was shortly after that when she discovered other problems occurring, and her visits to her psychiatrist becoming more frequent as the problems persisted.

"Tifa, what do you mean you 'keep seeing things'?" Dr. Paque asked, perplexed by Tifa's explanation. Tifa was lying on her back on a red couch, her head resting on a leathery pillow as her eyes stared mindlessly up at the sparkly ceiling. She was fully conscious as she heard the doctor proceed with questions.

"I just…see things," Tifa answered rather dully, not really knowing how to explain.

"What kind of things?" the doctor pried, trying to get out all her problems into the open.

"I was sitting in my kitchen, writing like I do a lot nowadays, and when I looked up a saw a man standing before me," she began to explain before finding herself cut off by the doctor.

"What did he look like?"

"He smiled at me."

"Yes, but did you see any of his features, like hair color, eye color, etc.?"

Tifa lowered her head, not remembering any distinct features about him. "No."

"Then how did you know that it was a man?"

"I just did. He was just standing, very content with himself."

"Are you sure it wasn't somebody that had just walked in from the front door being open?"

"It was 3 o'clock in the morning…" Tifa began to remember details.

The doctor tensed for a moment and concern was in her tone of voice. "Tifa, what were you doing up at 3 in the morning?"

"Writing."

"Did the man say anything to you?" the doctor asked, looked down on her sheet of paper and realized that the clues could be adding up to a serious disorder.

"Not that time, but he has every other time," Tifa admitted, looking over at the doctor, her eyes almost pleading for understanding.

"Every…other time?" the doctor asked back, unsure if she heard her statement correct.

"He comes every night…but I can't understand what he wants."

"Tifa, are you scared of this man?" the doctor asked, knowing already what was happening.

"I don't know…he frightens me, his blank look, but in a way, he comforts me."

The doctor had heard enough evidence and stood up, her clipboard under her arm. "All right Tifa, that's enough for today. Although, I do want to give you something."

Tifa perked up, curious eyes following the doctor even as she sat up on the couch resting her weight on her arms. She watched as the doctor left the room and then re-entered with a vile in her hand.

"Take one of these once a day when you find it convenient," the doctor instructed and handed the pills down to Tifa.

She looked at the plastic container in wonderment and took a glance at the little pills inside. "What are these for?"

"Many times we give those to people that seem to have the same problem that you're having. It seems to help out a lot."

"But why, I'm not bothered," she protested.

The doctor knew she would have to get into an explanation, even if she didn't want to. "Tifa, this man that you speak of is keeping you up at night, and the lack of sleep is turning you into an insomniac. Not only that, but the exhaustion your body is going through really is not helping your unstable emotional state either."

Tifa nodded, not really knowing or caring otherwise. What can it hurt? She thought, figuring that it was just another pill that she would have to take.

Author's Note: OMG. I used to be able to write so much better back when I was in high school. Ugh. Anyway, besides that...I really like where this is going. I had written three chapters to it and now I'm praying that I'll be able to do some more with it. So expect the next chapter soon, because it gets better.

It's just so freakin' weird. The problem is it's been so long since I've written this that I forgot where I was going with it. We'll just see what comes up, I suppose.

Review and constructive criticism welcome! (Especially the latter)