A/N: Hi there. Thanks for stopping by. Random, random oneshot, I've written about a billion random Klaine pieces ranging from K+ to M, and I finally decided to post one. Different from my usual fandom, but I have such a thing for this pairing, it's not even funny. I've developed an obsession with glee over the last few months, and without someone to gleek out with, I've converted my frustration into writing. It's not exactly plausible, and very, very fluffy, but... Read away my friends, and if you drop a review, I will be forever in your debt. :)
It started out waking up, only to realize the furnace cut out, and you're left doused in an icy chill. It froze his hands and his stomach and worked to the outside of his body, obliterating rational thought. And he saw him.
The frost melted and became something entirely new. Raging affection became too much to just be called affection anymore, and suddenly he was burning, a beautiful, flickering warmth spreading through his limbs, tossing his inhibitions aside into the dust. He almost laughed at the weightlessness they left behind.
And then he was on fire with this surging emotion... this feeling that he didn't have a name for, this fervent caring that was beyond even his grasp. And he couldn't tear his eyes away. Couldn't, wouldn't stop this feeling. He wanted him more than he had ever imagined possible, needed him right there with him, needed that voice like oxygen. A part of him screamed at him that this - this feeling that made him want to weep and laugh and be sick... was love.
Of course it was.
The feeling of knowing that he was in love with Kurt was not a new sensation. He nearly broke down into one of those instincts, eyes becoming glossy even as his face broke into an awed smile.
And he was lost and found all in a moment. Unsure and so freaking certain that he thought his head might explode. Because he loved him. And knew, just knew - that he simply didn't want to see, if he couldn't be looking at those eyes, didn't want to sing, unless it was with him, didn't want to breathe, unless he took in his scent. And that knowing... was amazing. So he watched. Content to breathe his air.
He watched him circle the room, listened, listened with his entire being because he was singing. He didn't understand how he didn't get how beautiful that sound was. Couldn't imagine a reality where he didn't desperately want to just hold that creature. He'd never had this kind of awakening before. It was what they wrote great ballads about, what every musical worth seeing included. He was falling into it. He had fallen. He was gone. Lost in him. Vaguely remembering the great broadway legends portraying this single emotion and wondering how he didn't get the cosmic significance that it brought to you.
He couldn't see straight. Because there was Kurt. Crying. Singing, and crying like his world had tumbled in, in the loss of a bird. And Blaine fell harder. Because he loved that he would sing for a dead bird. Loved how there was an unfathomable strength bubbling beneath Kurt's surface. Loved that he had had the beautiful, wonderful quality about him that allowed him to forgive a person that had constantly tortured him. Loved how carefully he selected his outfit in the morning. Loved that he wasn't afraid of himself. Loved that he so perfectly sculpted his hair, loved his flawless, porcelain skin, the endless ocean of his eyes, the perfect softness of his face, his inner diva, how he cared, how he tried, how he always surprised him, how he knew every word to every broadway show. His voice, his past, his everything.
And there Blaine sat. Seeing him, finally waking up and finding that guy that he'd been looking for, right in front of him. Someone strong enough, open enough to want him. There you are.
This endless tumble of thoughts continued as he watched, from afar, wanting, longing, wishing more than anything that he could kiss him and confirm the pillow softness of his lips. And then Kurt smiled. It was soft. Barely there. A simple twitch at the corners of his mouth. But it was enough. And he fell again. Was that possible? The song came to a gentle end, and Blaine stayed put, still in awe. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Beautiful, spectacularly wonderful Kurt.
And he knew he had to sing with him.
His heart broke slightly as the man he loved cried softly, thanking the group for giving him this spot of comfort. The warblers really should have been thanking him. Blaine at least, should've jumped up and cried his thanks from the rooftops, because he could see. No more haze of confusion, no more wondering if love actually existed. No more being oblivious. The blinders were off.
He was still frozen. He'd stopped singing long ago, but was still there. Not willing to take his eyes away from Kurt's retreating form. Oh man. Platonic feelings were long gone. He had it bad. And he'd never been closer to him than holding his hand.
5 minutes ago... five, he'd been so unaware... so idiotic. But it was all here, all rushing at him at once, all those suppressed emotions, all those buried desires. He sat there, flooded in thoughts of Kurt, in moments with him, until Wes clapped him heavily on the back, an unnervingly knowing smile on his lips, some nonsensical stream of words falling out of his mouth about leaving, going back to the dorm. He followed him in a trance. Kurt was at the dorm. Oh man.
He could do this. He could snap out of this ridiculous, sudden, quite possibly unrequited love.
No he couldn't.
That was even more idiotic. But could he function? Could he properly work with Kurt so far away from his hands, his lips... could he survive if he didn't feel the same?
He was sick. Sick with the pile of feelings collecting in his gut. Lovesick? Really? He was knee deep in cliches, and falling ever deeper. All he wanted was to have that man in his arms. Like, now. In a haze of half stumbling half walking to the dorm and up the stairs, he finally stopped. There he was again. That angel of a boy, talking politely to a shorter, strawberry blonde boy that lived next door. What was his name? He knew him well. But names weren't coming very easily just now. He summoned a grin from absolutely nowhere, and waved at Kurt.
Too exuberant. Don't let him see. Smaller wave. That's it.
Why the hell can't I show it? He liked me, right? Back at valentines day? Those were... feelings right?
Not as big as yours. He'll be freaked. Push it down !
No, I can't, I have to-
"Hey Kurt." Kurt shot him a still sightly watery grin and waved enthusiastically melted into a puddle of man and smiled. I love you.
"What's up? That was... that was a really amazing song back there." Pfft. Understatement of the century. Real smooth Blaine. Oh yeah. And I love you. Kurt smiled again.
"I have a thing for the beatles. Blackbird, is... special to me. So was Pavorotti. I loved that stupid bird." Blaine approached quickly, hands half outstretched in his direction, so desperately wanting to touch. The blonde boy had scampered off at some point, and Kurt was a mere metre away, looking at him with those eyes.
"So... I was thinking, that... maybe you're right. I'm hogging the spotlight. And with that performance today, I really... I think people," You.
"Should have a chance at an audition." Kurt raised a slender eyebrow. It was both amusing and adorable.
"That's really surprisingly mature of you Blaine." Blaine. He loved how he said his name. So smoothly, so easily. Like the name was always on his tongue, ready to slip out. Like he cared.
Don't think about his tongue.
"Hey. I am the most mature person you have ever met. I am bursting with maturity." He gave a short chuckle, and Blaine thought it was probably his favorite sound on earth.
"There is a difference between extreme dapperness and maturity. Some might argue that you are the least mature... simply for trying so freaking hard." Blaine laughed slightly in agreement and stepped closer.
"And you're, what? The epitome of adult behaviour?" The smile faded ever so slightly from his eyes.
"I've had to be." Blaine lost his own grin similarly, and reached for his best friend.
"Kurt." He mumbled his name as he threaded his hands under Kurt's arms and clutched him close. The taller boy responded by laying his head softly on the place where Blaine's neck met his shoulder. Blaine heaved out a sigh, trying to pass it off for sympathetic, rather than the elated feeling of wholeness he had at having Kurt in his arms, safe. He imagined he was his for a moment, and resisted the urge to stroke his hair. Just clung to him in the dormitories hallway, muttering comforting buzz words.
"I'm sorry about Pavorotti." Kurt moved his head slightly and seemed to inhale. Blaine's heart sped up.
"Me too. It just reminds me... reminds me of some less than happy memories. And it makes me remember. And then I remember my dad. And then I remember all my friends, and then It's like I'm drowning in past wrongs. And Blaine, I don't want to be strong anymore." He clutched at Blaine's neck with one hand, seemingly trying to soak up some sort of courage from the other boy. Blaine hummed softly in response. He vaguely wondered if this hug was too long, too intimate to be considered friendly. Not that he would end it if it was. Sadly...
Kurt would.
He pulled away and held onto Blaine's shoulders at arms length, smiling sadly again.
"I'm sorry. This is stupid over-sharing. I do that." Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's cheek. Only for a second, before he realized what he was doing, realized that Kurt was looking at his hand like it was a gun pressed up against his face, and not Blaine's palm, and retracted it.
"You're not over-sharing Kurt." He moved the hand to his shoulder and squeezed.
"You're searching for something. You're... you're unloading on a friend." More. Please, please let this be more than friendship.
"And I care about you very much, so... even if you were over sharing, I would take it. How about... we sing about it?" At Kurt's expression he winced.
"Too much? Alright, scratch the kumbaya's..." Kurt inclined his head as if deep in thought. Oh god. Was that too personal? That caring about him thing? Too obvious maybe? Blaine panicked internally, and wondered where cool, collected Blaine of this morning had scampered off to.
"A little Broadway, maybe, but seeing as that's totally my thing, I'd say hell yes." Kurt shot him a reassuring grin that made him a little weak in the knees, and they retreated to Kurt's room without words.
He loved Kurt's room. Wicked, Les Mis, GaGa and La Pone posters practically acted as wallpaper, the room was draped in fabrics and designs straight out of a catalogue he was sure, and it was so very Kurt. It smelled of him, that fresh yet musky scent of a subtle cologne, coffee, and... something indescribable. It was where Kurt spent all his time. Simply being here made Blaine feel a little warmer. A little flushed with unspoken love. He stared openly at the object of his affections as he walked to the far side of the room. He couldn't resist saying something. Not when Kurt looked like that, Not when he wanted, so badly to tell him.
"Kurt, I lo-"
"You wanna play guitar? It's Finn's, he left it here when he visited with the New Directions last week. You're amazing at it, so..." He trailed off in that way he did when he was uncomfortably close to saying something he thought was over the top gay, or too complimentary to another guy. God, he even loved that about him.
And he'd been so close to saying it.
"Kurt... I'd love to play, but I want to tell you something." Kurt's eyes shifted away, and it was suddenly like he had something too. A secret that was just beyond Blaine's reach like his was to Kurt. An outsider would have laughed at their obvious feelings for one another.
"Great. But can we just... Can we sing for tonight? I'm tired. Tired of fighting over solos, constantly studying, longing after someone who doesn't feel the same, practicing-"
"What was that?" He looked up quickly, as if confused.
"Practicing?" Before Blaine could correct him, and question either Kurt's truthfulness, or his own sanity, the older boy continued.
"Blaine, for tonight, can you just, stay here? I know I made you a little uncomfortable when I told you, you know, On Valentines day, But I'm over that, I just want some company. Not just, you know because of the bird, but-"
"I know." Blaine walked forward again, placing a hand on his chest and reveling in the electricity that crackled under his fingertips. Did he feel it too? No more words needed to be exchanged. There was a strange, emotional tension that stretched between them, and Blaine just wanted to tear it down and kiss him. He wanted to kiss him so bad. Just touch him, be with him, hold his hand, and kiss that part of his neck... he wanted to be a boyfriend. Wanted more than anything, for Kurt to be his boyfriend. He'd never had one. Because he'd never felt like this.
He lowered the hand, passing it off for simply smoothing out his jacket, and let his hand fall away, already missing the surge of warmth that Kurt gave him when they touched. He stepped back reluctantly, and Kurt eyed him carefully as if daring to believe... he looked breathtaking in the light of the flickering flames at the hearth. Sunlight was just beginning to die outside the window. And Blaine couldn't help but marvel at it. Then... then Blaine started to sing. If he couldn't tell him...He would damn well sing it.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
Kurt smiled very slightly as he recognized the opening chords of the song. But wait. This didn't relate to his mother, or pavorotti...
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Blaine moved slowly forwards again, Strumming carefully, Golden brown eyes never straying from Kurt's baby blue's.
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Say too much
But not enough
Nope. No. Not happening. He wasn't singing this to him specifically. It was just a sweet song. Meant for comfort, and... and stuff. Blaine's eyes looked glassy. But it was from the firelight. Not the lyrics. Right. Right?
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me
To find my own
And Blaine looked so very sincere here. Trying so desperately to convey through these words that he needed Kurt. Kurt looked almost frightened and it made Blaine want to laugh and cry and collapse.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
Blaine looked meaningfully at Kurt's spectacularly gorgeous grey-blue eyes. As he had been for what felt like an eternity.
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never
Change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
He strummed the final chord with a beautiful flourish. He was now about 3 inches away from Kurt, the guitars strings sliding across the fabric of Kurt's jacket as Blaine leaned in...
Then Kurt was gone. Slipped out of his almost grasp and twirled around to face him again. He was much too far off now. Kurt chuckled awkwardly, like he was trying to pass off the moment for harmless friendship.
"What... why did you choose that song?" He sounded breathless. Blaine lowered his gaze, along with the guitar that he rested against Kurt's headboard. He spoke, carefully wording his answer so that Kurt wouldn't get scared.
"It's a good song. Very top 40. Very within my range. Very... appropriate." Kurt swallowed and stepped back again.
"Look, Blaine, I'm going to... go to sleep now. You can stay, or- or go, but I'm going to try and rest so, goodnight." He finished lamely and kind of waved his hands around as if he was highlighting a point that hadn't really been made.
"Thank you." That was softer, almost to himself. But Blaine heard it, and it gave him softer, Blaine replied.
"I'll stay." Was it his imagination, or did Kurt seem to relax a little?
He watched, a tight ball of tension building in the pit of his stomach as his eyes followed Kurt's movements. How was it even possible to care so deeply for a person, just like that?
It felt like his whole world had gone wonky, and realigned itself to revolve around Kurt. Like his whole life, it had been about himself, about surviving and conquering and getting the solo, and now he was secondary. Kurt was at the forefront, Kurt was more important, and a part of him longed for the simplicity of yesterday. When love wasn't making him choke from the sheer force of it. He sighed softly as Kurt pulled back the comforter on one side, and smoothed down the corner with a perfectly smooth, manicured hand. And suddenly, without knowing how he got there, Blaine caught it. Kurt's head whipped around until he was face to face with his friend, straightening up and trying to catch the breath that had caught in his throat. He couldn't stay there, so close to him... blaine watched him go for a second time and laughed it off awkwardly.
"Hey, I won't bite. I'll... I'll just turn around so you can change." Kurt nodded slowly, a faint red coming to his cheeks.
"Sure." Blane, true to his word, turned and faced the door, shuddering at the sound of sliding fabric. Kurt was right behind him. Right there. vulnerable. Quite possibly half naked in some way. Oh god. He swallowed hard and tried to repress his hormones.
"All done." He tried and failed to smile at Kurt. Why was this so awkward? They had always been so at ease with each other. Oh yeah, because you're hopelessly in love with him, and he doesn't feel it. Kurt stared at him expectantly, eyebrow raised.
"You're not changing?" Blaine almost laughed.
"Right. Distracted." He took a deep breath.
"Look, Kurt, I'm sorry about earlier, I just... was just trying to cheer you up. I hope I didn't overstep. But the truth is-"
"Blaine, it's totally fine. You know I care about you too, right? One, kind of weird moment isn't going to turn me off of you or something." Blaine's breath caught in his throat and immediately fell through as Kurt scrunched up his face at the wording.
"That came out wrong. Just... go get some pajamas, and we'll have a sleepover. Albeit a lame one, probably with tears, but... a sleepover. Go!" He gestured at the door, and Blaine repressed a groan at having kurt out of his sight, even for a few minutes. He had it bad alright.
He fell against the door as soon as it shut behind him, and looked up at the ceiling. Why? why, why, why did he have to fall for his best friend. At the same time... seeing Kurt like this, made his heart swell ridiculously. Being with him... it made his pulse race, and his stomach drop. It was a blessing and a curse, love. He knew it would kill him if he couldn't act on it however.
He raced to his room and pulled on a dark navy t-shirt and sweats in record time before returning to Kurt's room.
He paused. Fist hovering, poised to knock at the cracking varnish of the door. He would be sleeping with kurt. His heart banged violently at his ribcage, reverberating in his ears. This would be... interesting.
There he was again. Right there. His heart failed when he saw him, clad in a plain white t-shirt and plaid bottoms, eyes unusually bright, and swimming with something... something Blaine had never seen before. And he was half lying in bed, hair mussed in such a way that Blaine would give anything to run a hand through it. To mess it up himself... And... Woah. Dirtier thoughts were flooding through his mind, and he tried desperately to build a dam, before they continued out and through his mouth where Kurt could hear them and reject them. He didn't know how he made it there, but he found himself plopped down on the bed beside Kurt, hand tightly grasping the younger man's.
"Kurt..." He turned to look at Blaine, eyes wide, a small frown on his lips. His lips. So close to his own...
"Blaine, will you just... just hold me?" His eyes fell.
"That's super weird isn't it? I mean just like... just a hug, or something, my mom... she-" But Blaine was already there, settling back and pulling Kurt into his chest by the waist, ignoring the way his fingertips brushed the bare skin where Kurt's shirt rose up.
"Shut up." And then he was there. Curled against him in a way that made something in Blaine break. He was so full of thoughts of Kurt. They didn't speak. They just basked in each other, both fully aware that this was not something friends did. They stayed that way until their breath evened out. And they slept in each others arms.
When Blaine awoke... well. Let's just say things were about to get uncomfortable.
The first few moments were bliss.
He blinked away the blinding sunlight that soaked the room, and cast an eye down. The daylight highlighted the sleeping boy next to him, rays falling gently across his face, and making him appear... almost angelic. Beautiful. And said boy... Blaine had swallow deeply and fight back raging emotions. Because Kurt was strewn across him, his head resting softly against Blaine's shoulder, hair tickling the underside of his chin. Their limbs were completely intertwined. And it went straight to his gut. He loved this man. He loved the feel of him in his arms. So soft and warm, and there... He wanted so much more. Wanted this in the light of day, wanted Kurt to want it too. But he couldn't decipher those looks he was giving him, and...
Oh lord.
He cast his eyes down further to see that Kurt's t-shirt had risen in the night, and slid up and over his abdomen, while his bottoms hung dangerously low on his hips. leaving a wide open expanse of creamy skin, toned to perfection, and... and Blaine couldn't resist touching.
It wasn't right. He was asleep, breathing heavily and evenly next to-on top of him. It was taking advantage. But... but he could see every line of him. Could see the curve of his hip bones that led down to...
Oh, sweet jesus.
Yesterday... yesterday this would not have fazed him. Well. He was a man. It probably would have had some effect. But... seeing him vulnerable, wrapped around him like he was the only person that mattered, sunlight streaming over his gorgeous face, the world seemed to stop spinning.
He moved very carefully.
He couldn't jostle him. If this went awry, not only would it be a huge invasion of Kurt's space... it would be awkward.
He lifted a hand slowly and, holding his breath, went for it. God this was creepy.
He just let the hand trail softly over Kurt's chest down across his taut stomach. Just caressing. Slowly, barely there. He felt Kurt shiver under his touch and retracted his hand immediately. But not before reveling in it... just a little bit.
Kurt turned into his chest a little more, and Blaine's breath hitched. The light flannel bottoms Kurt was wearing slipped even lower, and Blaine could almost make out... Oh. Oh god. No. Fight the hormones. Fight the...
This would be hugely uncomfortable. Kurt simply could not see him, getting... excited like this. Think of anything else. Women? Naked women. Yeah. Boobs. Giant pairs of knockers. Anything that wasn't Kurt. Kurt, so close to him, breathing and moving and sighing his name...
Hold up. What?
He looked curiously down at his best friend, expectantly, wishing desperately that he hadn't imagined it. Nothing. Of course he fabricated it. He just wanted it so bad, that sometimes-
"Blaine..." Kurt moaned out his name ever so softly and Blaine was vaguely aware of his jaw dropping open in was dreaming of him. lost his resolve in that moment. And he reached for Kurt's hand. He let a finger trail over the pale flesh, humming softly at the wonderful sensation of skin on skin, no matter how small the contact. He tangled his fingers with the taller boy's, threading them gently through the spaces and sighing at how they seemed to be made to accommodate Blaine's fingers. He toyed with those long, elegant fingers for a second, just feeling.
He didn't think he cared if he got caught now. Kurt was there with him. He could feel it. He could also feel the exact moment that Kurt woke up.
He was letting his hand slide softly over the perfect softness of Kurt's wrist... and then he was there too, letting his hand drift over Blaine's, feeling the perfect harmony of the moment.
And then Blaine shifted slightly, and Kurt was under him, pressed up against the mattress, hair in adorable disarray, lips slightly parted, the soft seafoam blue of his eyes just daring him to do something. He could almost hear the crackle of electricity as their eyes met and locked for what seemed like an eternity. They were drowning in the simplest of sensations, hypersensitive to everything.
And then they reached for each other. Their lips met halfway and he was gone. It was beautifully urgent. Fireworks exploded beneath his eyelids as their lips moved, soft and passionate against each other, while hands raked over the others shoulders, down their chest, clutching at their hair, at their backs, at anything that would give them purchase. And it was as if they were trying to meld into one person, pulling each other impossibly closer, kissing with an urgent desire they had never experienced. He didn't know when Kurt had rolled on top of him. He was so lost in these sensations. He felt every touch, every caress go to his heart, felt the soft warmth of Kurt's body, the pressure of his lips, the beautiful wetness of their mouths and tongues and teeth exploring each other.
But it was the emotion that got him. The pure, unadulterated love that Kurt put into each, sweet kiss that made him want to cry.
He was so, so lost in this man. Kurt pressed a deep, open mouthed kiss on Blaine's lips, and he delighted in the feeling of rightness when their tongues danced together. And they were so close. Pressed flush against each other, until there was no room for air. Until the world fell apart at their feet, and it was just them in the light of a new day, for the first time, loving a person they cared about. Blaine's eyes snapped open when Kurt's mouth broke contact and moved down, over his jaw, placing a soft kiss where it met his neck, then, totally out of character for him, sucked, Sucked! At Blaine's neck. He felt himself falling apart beneath him. Because where had he learned to kiss like that? And how did he live without this wonderful man so close to him?
He felt his own arms tighten around Kurt's lower body, Desperately clasping at his hips and moving him down, down further towards him. Kurt let out the most delicious, soft whisper of a moan and Blaine fell for what seemed the hundredth time, further in love with him.
"Blaine..."
"Kurt, I'm in love with you. And not, stupid, puppy love, I mean... I'm seriously in love with you." He stated it breathlessly, and looked at him with this fervent hope. Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's chest and moved it in a slow soothing motion. He gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life, and he swore he was looking up at a flawless creation of Michelangelo, or Da vinci. And he realized it before Kurt said a word. He was his.
"I've been looking for you forever." He smiled.
A/N~ THAT IS THAT. It barely makes sense, and my proofreading probably sucks, but, you know, klaine is klaine. And I seriously love Klaine. :) Why they went to bed right after school? I don't know. To avoid the awkward? Maybe? Sure. Do not own chasing cars! Thanks for reading people.