Okay so this is a rewrite from one of my old accounts. I was thinking about some of my old song-fics and decided to transfer some over to this account. I be touch up some errors made and maybe change parts but, I hope you all enjoy this old rewrite.
This is based on the song Slipped Away by Avril- if you don't know it I suggest you go and listen to it right now because it is amazing!
The subject to this story hits very close to home so all the words have poured straight from my heart onto the page.
I do not own Criminal Minds or the song lyrics. Don't forget to review!
JJ let out a shaky breath as she entered the hospital room, knowing it would be the last ever time she would. He had been in a coma for almost a year now, but tonight, tonight had been the night she got the dreaded phone call; the one she had been anxiously preparing herself for ever since he was diagnosed. The phone call that tore her life in half. She had broken who knows how many traffic laws to get the hospital as quick as possible, but no matter how fast she drove or how many lights she dodged, she was too late. She had to stand outside and watching in horror as multiple nurses and doctors work around her love, the words flying out of their mouths, unheard by her on the other side of the thick window panels and wooden door. She winced at ever shock to his body, her knees buckling when his monitor continued to flat line. It was only thanks to the strong arms that caught her that she stayed upright to watch his last breath leave his body. All the medical staff filled out of the room and paid their respects as they passed, knowing the group that had conjured in the hall would all want a moment alone. JJ had called Hotch on her way to the hospital who proceeded to call everyone else, them all getting there as the mayhem was happening in their friend's room. She was now sitting at his bed side, taking his old hand in hers, praying to whoever was up there for one last squeeze back. It never came. Everyone had been allowed to say their goodbyes separately about two weeks ago, the doctors sure he wouldn't last the night but he had; he had lasted for the two weeks he did. It gave them all hope; hope that was shattered when they received that phone call. She sighed heavily as a tear rolled down her cheek, leaning forward to she could run her fingers along his jaw line, a sad smile on her face.
"Hey Derek, I know- I know we had a talk a while ago but, I just needed one last goodbye. They wouldn't let me in the room, to hold you, to be with you while you took your last breath, but I was here baby- we all were. I will always be here. You're not even gone yet, but, I miss you, I miss you so bad. I won't forget you, I don't think I ever can. The day you feel into that coma, the day the cancer just hit a little too close to home, was the day I found it won't be the same. There are so many things I wanted to do, so many things we had planned but never got to see out. We had planned to move out of that stupid apartment of yours, buy a big house, painting the bedroom half blue half purple so we were both happy. I know you wanted to start that big family of yours, one boy and one girl; training out boy to be a little fighter and stick up for his sister. All this stuff we were set to do, committed to, and then this happened. I didn't get to kiss you goodbye on the hand, I just wish I could see you again, but I know I can't, not properly anyway. Now that you're gone, I can't bring you back, and I know you are never coming back. I don't know how to do this Derek, I don't know how to live without you. Every day I came here, I always had hope that you would wake up again. That steady beeping of your heart, it kept me going. Now I know that you are never going to wake up; now I have nothing. Why won't you wake up? I just keep asking why- Why you, why me, why us? We have known each other for 11 years, 11 amazing years. For 3 of those years I had the privilege to be called your girlfriend- Derek the players girlfriend. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I will never love anyone in the same way ever again. You were my one Derek, my one and only. We made that promise on our first date, that we will always be each other's one. I won't break that promise Derek, never. I love you so much Derek Morgan, I always have, and I always will." Everyone around tried to control themselves as they watched their friend breakdown right before their eyes. They were not only losing their close friend, but they had to watch another deteriorate alongside him. Penelope took it upon herself to console their broken friend, wrapping her arms around her as the blonde's heart shattered into a thousand pieces. He was never coming back. He was never going to wake up. Penelope's tears mixed with JJ's as the two ended up on the floor, JJ on her best friend's lap, wrapping herself up into a tiny ball in hope to protect herself from the heart shattering emotions that burdened on her. She continued to cry, not knowing what else to do with herself. She wanted to lash out, but to who? She couldn't do it to Derek, or the doctors, or her friends or even herself. There was nobody to blame- it wasn't black and white like the thousands of cases they had worked. The death of her love was not down to one masked unsub who could be shot dead or locked up to punish- the death of her love was down to disease- an incurable disease that had the misfortune of taking over Derek's body and mind. So, instead of lashing out, she cried. She cried for his mother, his sisters, for Penelope, Aaron, Spencer, David, Emily, for everyone who Derek had impacted in his short but fulfilling life. She cried for a better day; a day where she could get out of bed without crying, where she could think of her beloved boyfriend and not feel her heartbreak, but be happy and remember him with pure joy. She knew Derek would be with them always, watching, sending down rays of sunshine when there was none in sight for them. Tiredly, the blonde lifted her head up, looking at his still body with utter pain and anguish, whispering to him for one last time,
"I miss you…"