Bring It On, Buffy, Bring It On!
Takes place in about season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel. Takes place right after the episodes Gone and Birthday. However, as far as my story is concerned, Angel doesn't know anything that happened in Sunnydale after Buffy's death, other than she's back. Buffy's clueless about Angel as well. Sometimes, the events and time periods may not make sense, but it's hard, ok?
Ok, before I begin my story, I just want to point out how Buffy The Vampire Slayer and the movie Bring It On are related:
1 Missy- Same girl who plays Faith
Not to mention she transferred from L.A., never cheered before and has killer moves with a serious attitude!
Courtney- Same girl who plays Glory
Both are bitches who think the world revolves around them. Like to be in control, and very into their appearances. Both have a thing against blond in control.
Cliff- Well, he reminds me of Xander, okay?!? The whole having a crush on a beautiful blonds out of their league, their laid back style, they're so much alike, it's scary. Except Cliff gets the blond, but I'll get into that later.
Taurence- She played a vampire named Claudia in Interview With The Vampire. (It's a stretch, okay?!?
Not to mention that Buffy was a cheerleader before she became the slayer and tried out for cheerleader in Sunnydale. She and Taurence are very similar in many respects. Blond beautiful, popular (well, Buffy used to be), the leader of their group, weird names, etc. The similarities are endless.
Okay, I could go on and on about the similarities for awhile, but you probably want to start reading!
2 Scene 1: L.A., here we come!
(Summer vacation has begun, and Missy, Taurence and Cliff all decide to go on a road trip. Taurence blindfolds them both and won't say where they're going. She wants it to be a surprise)
Missy: How long have we been on the road, Taurence? I'm beginning to lose track of time, and this car is stuffy! Besides, half the fun of a road trip is being to see the sites and make fun of the weirdoes and ugly people on the road.
Cliff: Oh I don't know. I find the blindfold to be a very nice way of saying you care, Taur.
Missy: You would, you perve!
Cliff: And that actually almost was insulting! Gee Missy, I'm touched.
Taurence: (Rolls her eyes) I can't believe I invited both of you on this trip. Don't bring your best friend and your boyfriend on a vacation. It never works out.
Missy: Especially when your boyfriend also happens to be my pain in the ass brother!
(Taurence and Missy crack up. Cliff just glares at them under his blindfold)
Cliff: Sure, sure, you're all against me! Attack of the cheerleaders, that's what this is!
(Taurence and Missy both crack up once more)
Taurence: Cliff, you're too much!
Missy: You should try living with him, then you'll see what a true pain in the ass he really is!
Cliff: Actually Missy, that's the best idea you've ever had. Not bad thinking, Missy. Living with a beautiful, blond cheerleader, yep, you've definitely have said some dumber things than that, I'll admit.
Missy: You should be one to talk! I actually got all A's and B's on my report cards and my average was a 3.5!
Cliff: Dude, you're serious?
Missy: Yeah, it was so weird. Being that I dropped out…
(Missy stops herself with the realization that Taurence didn't or couldn't know about that part of her life. The part that she was more than eager to forget)
Taurence: You dropped out?!?
Missy: (Makes a quick save) From the chess club. Yeah, that's it. I dropped out of chess club. You know how smart those guys are and all…
Cliff: Um, yeah, chess club.
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) That had to be the worst save you've ever made. Actually, the worst save I've ever heard of.
Missy: (Whispers back) Hey, you try thinking of on off the top of your head!
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Just don't slip again! You know she can never find about your past life. About who you really are!
Missy: (Whispers back) I know, I know! But what if she did find out? We could trust her.
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Don't be stupid! We can't take the risk. When Angel sent me to help you…
Missy: (Whispers back) I know, I know. You swore on your life never to tell a soul. But I didn't, and I know we could trust her. Wouldn't you like to be honest to your new girlfriend?
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Yeah, but…
Taurence: (Cuts them off) Hey, what's going on back there? Are you guys fighting again?
Cliff: Nooo, do we ever fight?
Taurence: Do I ever cheer?
Cliff: Okay, point taken.
Taurence: You know, I'm beginning to wonder how you guys didn't end up killing each other as children.
Cliff: Well, being accused of murder isn't one of my ideal situations.
(Missy kicks his shin)
(Cliff kicks her back)
Cliff: Not that it's unheard of, of course
(Missy elbows him in the stomach)
Cliff: Ow!
Taurence: Hey guys, cut that out! Sheesh! Well, we're almost there anyway.
Missy: Say, Taurence, where is it we're going, anyway?
Taurence: Oh, you guys are going to love me for this. I've always wanted to visit here, and I'm sure you guys have old friends and old hangouts we could visit.
Missy: (Rips off blindfold) Oh no, you don't mean…
(Car stops abruptly, since Taurence had slammed the brakes)
Taurence: Yep, we're in L.A.!
3 Scene 2: A visit with Angel
(Buffy is in a car, driving! Yes, she's driving to L.A. She really needs to see Angel)
Buffy: (Thinking to herself) This was definitely a bad idea! What will Angel say? What will he think of me? Will he be disgusted? Will he feel betrayed? Or what if he feels relieved or doesn't care? No, I have to tell him, no matter what he says or thinks of me.
(She parks right in front of the Angel Investigations building and gulps. She knows what she has to do, and opens the door)
Cordelia: (Looking down at her papers) Angel investigations, how may I help you?
(Looks up and sees Buffy. She nearly faints)
Oh my G-d, Buffy! What are you doing here?
Buffy: I need to talk to Angel. It's sort of important.
Cordeila: Of course. He'll be very surprised to see you, though.
Buffy: I know, it was sort of a spontaneous thing.
Cordelia: Ok, I'll go get him. The rest of the crew is out, so you won't be disturbed.
Buffy: Ok, thanks.
Cordelia: Oh, and Buffy?
Buffy: Yeah?
Cordelia: It's good to see you.
(They hug, and Buffy goes up the stairs. Cordelia allows a tear to shed. She then hears Connor crying and begins to rock him)
Cordelia: (In a baby voice) Don't worry, everything's going to be alright, wittle Connor. Yes, it will!
(However, she then puts the baby down, for she gets a vision. Although they didn't hurt anymore, it was just a habit she had grown accustomed to)
Cordelia: Oh no, Faith's back! And two others, though I cannot make out their faces. I'd better tell Angel! (But then she remembers Buffy just went upstairs to see him)
(She sheds another tear) I guess it can wait.
(Meanwhile, Buffy is walking up the stairs. She knocks on the door.)
(Angel jumps back a little startled. He puts the picture he was looking at down.)
Angel: Cordelia, is that you?
Buffy: No, it's me.
Angel: Buffy? What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?
Buffy: No apocalypse, if that's what you mean.
Angel: Oh, well come in.
(Buffy enters. She looks a little uncomfortable. So does Angel)
Angel: So, what brings you to LA.?
Buffy: Angel, a lot of stuff has happened since I've left. Stuff I feel I should tell you.
(Angel shifted uncomfortably. He hadn't exactly told her about Connor or about what he was feeling for Cordelia, and was nervous she suspected something. He just wasn't ready to tell her, not yet)
Buffy: Ok, the first thing is that Giles is gone. He's in Britain.
Angel: Oh, sorry to hear that. (He truly was, for he knew how much the librarian meant to Buffy)
Buffy: (Continuing to babble) Ok. Next, Willow got out of control with her spells and magic. She was seeing this guy called Rack…
(Angel interrupts her)
Angel: Rack! Oh my G-d, Willow's in danger!
Buffy: Relax, she stopped seeing him after she got into a car crash with my sister.
Angel: Oh my G-d! Are they ok?
Buffy: Willow's emotionally shook up and trying to quit witchcraft. Dawn has a broken arm. However, she took it pretty hard on Willow. And me. Not that I blame her.
Angel: Buffy, you shouldn't say that. It's not your fault. How could you have stopped the car crash?
Buffy: I could have realized my friend was in danger. That her magic was getting way out of hand. But I was too wrapped up in my own problems…
(She stopped for a minute and took a deep breath. She knew what was coming next, and wasn't looking forward to mentioning it. Her real reason for coming)
Angel: Buffy, you should have told me. Even if things are different between us, I still want to know when something major happens, you know?
(He then looks at the floor, feeling guilty for being hypocritical)
Buffy: I know, I know, but that isn't all. There's also something else…
Angel: What Buffy?
Buffy: (Begins to cry) No, I can't! I just can't.
Angel: Buffy, it's ok. I'm all ears. You can tell me anything.
Buffy: (Turns beet red) Al right, but promise me you won't get angry.
Angel: Al right, just tell me already!
Buffy: Ok, a few weeks ago, a musical demon came to Sunnydale and caused everybody to reveal their most secret thoughts in song. Anyway, I won't bore you with the small details. While I was singing, I told my friends…
Angel: Told them what?
Buffy: That they pulled me out of heaven!
Angel: Wow, they did what?!?
Buffy: No, no, but that's not the part I really need to tell you. Anyway, I was dancing and about to combust, when Spike saved me.
Angel: Um, ok. So?
Buffy: (She groans) So, we sort of defeated the demon thing and Spike went outside. I followed him. Then, we started to sing. Then,
(She takes a deep breath and mutters)
We kissed.
Angel: What?
Buffy: I know, I know…
Angel: No Buffy, I couldn't hear you.
Buffy: (Turns red) Oh. Well, then we, we, we…
Angel: What? Buffy, spit it out.
Buffy: We kissed.
Angel: (Grabs the side of his chair and clutches it tightly. He looks even paler than usual)
Angel: Well Buffy, spells are pretty funny things. I can't blame you for what happened. It was the spell…
Buffy: (Begins to cry) But that's not all!
Angel: (Breaks the arm of the chair because his grip had become so tight)
(Dreading what else she had to say) What else, Buffy?
Buffy: Ok, I guess I'll say it quick. We kind of kissed again, at a club after Willow did a spell…
Angel: (Breaks the other arm of the chair) Well, it was another spell…
Buffy: After the spell was done.
Angel: (Turning a little red) Well, what's a kiss, anyway?
(Buffy begins to cry)
Angel: Not another one!
Buffy: No, not exactly.
Angel: That'd good.
Buffy: We were fighting in this run down warehouse because it turns out, he can now hurt me.
Angel: Oh no! That means he's dangerous again.
Buffy: No, it's not like that. We were fighting and then I…
Angel: (groans)
Buffy: I pinned him to the wall and kissed him. Then the building collapsed and we, we…(cries hysterically)
Angel: (Anger in his voice) What, what did you do!?!
Buffy: We slept together.
(Angel cannot take the anger he is feeling inside of him and throws the chair arm at Buffy)
Buffy: (Teary eyed) You promised you wouldn't get angry.
Angel: I'm not angry.
Buffy: (Relieved) Good.
Angel: I'm furious! Anything else you want to tell me, Buffy!
Buffy: Actually, I was turned invisible by a ray gun and I, I,
Angel: Don't even bother saying it! I can't believe you. And with him!
(Buffy is crying hysterically)
Buffy: I know, I know it's weird and gross. But I came here to make things ok, to make things stop, to make things better.
Angel: (Very sarcastically) Super job, Buffy!
Buffy: (Now a little annoyed) Hey, that's not fair! It was ok when I was with Riley, and I actually liked him!
Angel: That was different. He was a human. I left so you'd have a normal life, and having a human boyfriend just is one of the things I had to accept. But, but with him! I could have stayed if that's the way you wanted to live. With a vicious undead creature!
Buffy: But…(However, her train of thought changes when she hears the sound of a baby crying)
Buffy: What was that?
Angel: That? I didn't hear anything.
Buffy: No, I heard something. A baby!
Angel: Oh, that. It's um…
Buffy: Is it Cordelia's?
Angel: Um…
Buffy: It is! Oh my G-d! I feel like such a jerk for not saying anything. Who's the father?
(Angel shifts very uncomfortable in his chair.)
Buffy: Oooooooh, the bastard left when he heard the news. The nerve! Well, I'm going to have to throw a baby shower for her. Ooooh, it will be so much fun! What's its name?
(Angel shifts uncomfortably in his chair once more)
Angel: Connor.
Buffy: Ooooo, a boy baby. Well I'll have to buy it blue little duck pjs and a blue hat and a blue…
Angel: Buffy, there's something I have to tell you…
Buffy: Oh, right. Listen, I understand that you're angry and disgusted with me, and frankly, I am too! However, I'm going to fix the mess I started. If you want, I'll throw the shower for her in Sunnydale.
Angel: No, that's not it!
Buffy: Then what?
(At this point Cordelia bursts open the door, holding Connor)
Cordelia: Angel, I had a vision. (Sees Buffy and decided not to share it, knowing her feelings about the other slayer)
Buffy: Well, I can help with the baby if you want…
Cordelia: Um, that's ok. I'm fine.
Buffy: Don't worry, Cordelia. I refuse to leave until I throw you the proper party.
Cordelia: (Looks at her if she's from outer space) You do?
Buffy: Yep. That baby will be spoiled rotten by the time I'm done with him. Come here little Connor. (Cordelia hands Buffy the baby looking at Angel with an expression on her face saying "you have some explaining to do")
Cordelia: So, you're ok with the baby? I mean, it doesn't bother you that…
(Angel shakes his head 'no' very frantically. Cordelia sighs)
Buffy: Cordelia, it wasn't your fault. These things happen all the time.
Cordelia: Um, I guess so. What?
Buffy: I'm sorry he left you, whoever the bastard is
(Angel cringes again)
but that doesn't make you or the baby wrong. As a matter of fact, this is the cutest little baby I've ever seen. He's going to grow up to be a hottie…
Cordelia: (Mutters to herself) Just like his daddy…
(But Buffy hears her)
Buffy: Say, the dad was a hottie? Aw well, easy come, easy go. You'll bounce back.
(At this point, Cordelia is beet red. She doesn't know what to say, for she doesn't want to tell Buffy about Connor if Angel doesn't want her to. She's also embarrassed that Buffy said what she thought of Angel)
Cordelia: Um, well, I have to go do some work. Connor can stay with you Buffy, if you want. I have to go look for someone…(Cordelia mouths "I'll tell you later" as she leaves)
Buffy: (Playing with the baby and smiling) Say, who's the cutest wittle baby in the world. Come on, say it. You are, you are!
Angel: Buffy…
Buffy: I know, you're angry with me and want me to go. (Sheds a tear) I understand. I'll leave when Cordelia gets back and tell her about the party. In the meanwhile, I'll wait outside…
Angel: Buffy, I have to tell you something important!
Buffy: What is it?
Angel: It's about the baby's father. You see, the baby has a father.
Buffy: Oh, then why didn't Cordelia mention him? Is he doing a good job of taking care of him?
Angel: Well, he's doing the best he can.
Buffy: Oh, that's good.
Angel: Buffy, I haven't been completely honest with you either…
Buffy: Well, shoot. Can't be worse than what I've done.
Angel: Connor's my baby.
Buffy: And another thing…..what?
Angel: I'm his father.
Buffy: If you're his father then that means… (she looks like she's about to throw up)
Cordelia and you…
Angel: No, it's not like that.
Buffy: Than who's the mother?
Angel: Darla.
(He then begins to tell her the story, while Buffy stares at him in shock)
4 Scene 3: It's never too late to cheer!
(Back in the car, Missy and Cliff are in shock of what Taurence just old them.)
Missy: Oh my G-d, you took us to L.A.!
Taurence: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Missy: Um, it's just that…
(Cliff chimes in)
Cliff: It's just that we really wanted to go to Wisconsin.
(Missy and Taurence both look at him as if he just sprouted a 3rd leg)
Cliff: Um, yeah! Always wanted to see where cheese came from, right Missy?
Missy: Um…
Cliff: Yeah, as kids, Missy wanted to become a farmer and make cheese.
Missy and Taurence: What!?!
Missy: That Cliff, he's such a kidder (elbows him in the stomach)
Cliff: Ow, what was that for?
Missy: (Whispers to him angrily) Hey, I have a reputation to keep, even if I was a cheerleader!
Missy: (Talks back in her normal voice) Come on, everyone knows you were the one who wanted to milk cows for a living…
(Taurence looks a Cliff in utter bewilderment) [tee hee, a pun!]
Taurence: You wanted to milk cows?
Missy: I know, the perve!
(They both laugh)
Cliff: The cheerleaders of the world unite! Beware, or you may become their next victim!
(They both laugh again)
Missy: You know what? L.A.'s fine.
(Cliff looks at her as if she's insane. She glares at him)
Missy: I'm going to tell her, she has a right to know…
Cliff: No, you'll put her in danger!
Taurence: What the hell's going on, you guys? Were you guys fugitives in L.A. or something?
(Missy makes a face, while Cliff shakes his head)
Cliff: Might as well tell her now…
Taurence: Tell me what?
(However, before she could say anything, Missy sees Cordelia walking down the street looking for someone)
Missy: Crap, she knows we're in L.A. Which means…
Cliff: Oh crap, Angel!
Missy: He'll be pissed!
Cliff: Taurence, we have to get out of here. We'll explain everything on the ride.
Taurence: I'm not moving until someone explains!
Missy: I like your moxy, but… (punches Taurence out)
We don't have time for that crap, so let's get moving! Cliff, you drive!
(Back where Cordelia is…)
Cordelia: Faith, Faith? Faith, where are you?
(However, she can't spot her anywhere, and decides to go back to Angel Investigations, when she sees a cheerleading display in the street)
Cordelia: Hmmm, I wonder what that's all about…
(She walks toward the display)
Courtney: Come one and all, to our cheerleader booth, where we will tell you how to become a cheerleader.
Whitney: We wear short skirts, we're really popular, and we shout really loud!
Courtney: Hey, I thought I was going to tell the people that! I'm the one who thought of it!
Whitney: Well that's too damn bad! I decided we should do this, therefore I'm in charge of this operation!
Courtney: What! How dare you? I'm the one who came up with all the ideas! I'm the one who's more popular!
Whitney: Yeah right, you slut!
Courtney: You did not just call me what I think you did!
Whitney: Oh, you better believe it! I'm so going to be captain at cheerleading camp.
Courtney: So that's what this is about. Think you stand a chance against me?
Whitney: You bet I do!
Courtney: Well than bring it!
Whitney: Oh, it's already been broughten!
Courtney: It's brought, you loser! You know what, I don't need you! I'll find someone else to be my sidekick.
Whitney: What? Hell no, I'm no sidekick!
Courtney: You're annoying me, and you called me a slut! Now, you die!
(Courtney tries to choke Whitney, but it isn't working, so she bites her really hard.)
Courtney: I'll kill you, you hoar!
(She places her hands on Whitney's neck again and this time succeeds in killing her)
Courtney: Hmmm, I wish I still had my powers. Then, I could have sucked her brains out! Then again, she didn't have brains! (Laughs hysterically)
(At this point, Cordelia walks over to the booth. She sees the dead cheerleader on the ground, and is shocked)
Cordelia: Oh my G-d, she's…
(Courtney interrupts her)
Courtney: Sleeping!
Cordelia: What?
Courtney: Yeah, she has narcolepsy. Falls asleep just about everywhere.
Cordelia: Um, oh.
Courtney: Hey, you look familiar…
Cordelia: I do?
Courtney: Yeah! I know, you're from Sunnyhell!
Cordelia: (A little nervous) Um, what makes you say that?
Courtney: You were a cheerleader at Sunnydale High School. My school cheered against yours all the time.
Cordelia: Um, yeah, I used to be a cheerleader.
Courtney: How'd you like to be my assistant? Since she's, um, sleeping, I need someone to come tell the less fortunate to become cheerleaders!
Cordelia: (A smile forms on her face) Gee, I haven't cheered in a couple of years.
Courtney: Don't worry, a good cheerleader never forgets. Besides, you look like a cheerleader with some serious attitude, and that's what I need.
Cordelia: I used to be a bitch, but I've changed.
Courtney: And so have I! I used to be a Go…(stops herself)
Courtney: A go, go dancer, but cheerleading was so much cooler.
Cordelia; Um, I guess.
Courtney: So, what do you say?
(Cordelia thinks of Angel and Buffy together in the building and feels that they don't need her there right now. Besides, this may make her feel better.)
Cordelia: You know what, sure!
Courtney: Great! Now, go change into this cheerleading outfit.
Cordelia: But what about your friend?
Courtney: Oh, um, I'll take her to her house while you change. It's right across the street.
Cordelia: Ok. (She goes into a clothes shop and uses one of the dressing rooms)
Courtney: Now to get rid of this skanky evidence! (She dumps Whitney in the trash)
Courtney: (Thinks to herself) I like her, she seems powerful.
(Cordelia comes out of the shop, smiling)
Courtney: Come on, let's go!
Cordelia: Cheerleader power!
(They giggle and begin "their mission")
5 Scene 4: Let's go to Sunnydale!
(Angel has just finished telling Buffy all about Connor and Darla. Buffy is the pale looking one this time)
Buffy: So, when were you planning on telling me?
Angel: Um…
Buffy: I mean, I wouldn't have bitten your head off or anything. I would have understood. But you, you had a little hissy fit!
Angel: I know, but can you blame me?
Buffy: (Sighs) No. But Angel?
Angel: Yeah?
Buffy: Can I ask you a few personal questions?
Angel: Um, shoot.
Buffy: Ok, when you lost your soul, what was it like?
Angel: Huh? Why are you asking me that years later?
Buffy: Because now I have the guts to ask you.
Angel: Um, it's not an experience you can put into words. Well, you lose all of your pain and guilt, and what's left is a craving for blood, death and misery.
Buffy: Ok, and you say that all of your pain goes away?
Angel: Yeah, pretty much. Why?
Buffy: Then why is Spike so miserable?
Angel: Gee Buffy, why don't you ask him?
Buffy: Because he'd never tell me. He'd tell you, though.
Angel: So?
Buffy: Come with me back to Sunnydale. Just for a visit. I'm so freakin lost and scared!
Angel: I don't think so. I have stuff to do in L.A.
Buffy: Well, then answer this question. Why didn't you still love me without your soul?
(Angel is taken by surprise by her question and jumps back)
Buffy: Why? I need to know, otherwise my questions will remain unanswered.
Angel: Buffy, what makes you say that?
Buffy: Huh?
Angel: "To kill this girl, you have to love her." Said it myself.
Buffy: But, that doesn't make sense!
Angel: Life never does.
Buffy: Ok, then why doesn't Spike try to kill me?
Angel: Gee Buffy, shouldn't you discuss that with him?
Buffy: Angel, stop being such a jerk! I came because I trust you and know you to be very wise. However, you're not acting it right now. And one more thing.
Angel: What?
Buffy: Do you have a thing for Cordelia?
(Back in the car with Missy, Cliff and Taurence)
Cliff: Missy, we can't stay in L.A.! Angel will so kick my ass.
Missy: Hey, I don't want to go back to jail!
Cliff: So, where are we off to?
Missy: The one place they won't ever think to look for us.
Cliff: Where? Wisconsin?
Missy: No, you idiot! What's up with you and Wisconsin, anyway?
Cliff: Sentimental to me, really. Ate so much cheese there once that I was throwing up for days. Cheese and demons don't mix.
Missy: You mean half demon, babe.
Cliff: Yeah, that works too!
Missy: Well, we'll tell Taurence what's going on when we get there.
Cliff: Where?
Missy: Sunnyhell !
(Back in Angel Investigations)
Angel: What? You know I can't fall for anyone.
Buffy: Same here. You know I have to be strong for Dawn and get myself a normal life. Well, as normal as I can.
Angel: We're screwed, aren't we?
Buffy: Pretty much.
Angel: You know what? I need to take a vacation. But what about Connor?
Buffy: Bring him with you. Everyone will love him.
Angel: Well, I guess it'd be ok. Let me just leave a note for Cordelia and for the rest of the group. I'll leave them my emergency cell phone number.
Buffy: You have a cell phone?
Angel: Yeah, don't you?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Angel: Um, that's weird.
Buffy: I guess. So, ready for Sunnydale?
Angel: As ready as anyone can be. I don't know what's wrong with me, though. Why am I going back there?
Buffy: I dunno. I keep wondering what possessed me to come to LA. and invite you to Sunnydale.
Angel: Well, we'll soon find out.
(However, Angel knows exactly why he's going. To kick some bleached blond vampire ass!)
Buffy: But I drive!
Angel: Oh no!
(Back on the streets of L.A.)
Cordelia: Come one, come all to be a cheerleader!
Courtney: We wear cute outfits, are popular and pretty, and get to scream really loud!
Cordelia: It looks great on college applications!
Courtney: And gets you power. Someday, cheerleaders will rule the earth, and I will be in power once more! Ha, ha, ha!
(Everyone on the street stares at her, including Cordelia)
Courtney: Um, kidding of course.
Cordelia: And did we mention it's a real guy magnate?
Courtney: You get free pompoms!
Girl on street: Um, so what?
Courtney: So, doesn't that just make you want to join?
Girl: Not really. I'd much rather play soccer.
Courtney: Your loss! (mutters) Skanky loser!
Girl #2: Cheerleaders are nothing more than a cult of skinny bitches trying to take over the world!
Cordelia: No, that's not completely true! It's a sport where you make plenty of friends and have fun experiences.
Girl # 3: Bullshit!
Courtney: Say missy, I don't like your attitude!
Girl # 2: What are you gonna do about it?
Courtney: I'm going to, I'm going to rip your…
(Cordelia is staring at her horrified)
Courtney: I'm going to rip up your application slip!
Girl # 3: But I never asked for one!
Coutney: Shut up! I mean, don't worry about it. Now, go play soccer or something.
Girl #1: In the street!
Coutney: Um, whatever. I don't care!
(The three girls run away, crying for their mommies)
Cordelia: That was way harsh!
Courtney: Sorry, but non believers get me so angry. Say, let's go somewhere where cheerleaders are appreciated.
Cordelia: Where?
Courtney: Um, how about Hollywood?
Cordelia: Nah, I know someplace better.
Courtney: Do tell!
Cordelia: (smiles) Well, I'll tell you when we get there.
Courtney: Um, sure.
Cordelia: (Thinks to herself) I've been meaning to visit Sunnydale for awhile, anyway.
To be continued. Please read and review! Will get better and funnier, I promise!
Takes place in about season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel. Takes place right after the episodes Gone and Birthday. However, as far as my story is concerned, Angel doesn't know anything that happened in Sunnydale after Buffy's death, other than she's back. Buffy's clueless about Angel as well. Sometimes, the events and time periods may not make sense, but it's hard, ok?
Ok, before I begin my story, I just want to point out how Buffy The Vampire Slayer and the movie Bring It On are related:
1 Missy- Same girl who plays Faith
Not to mention she transferred from L.A., never cheered before and has killer moves with a serious attitude!
Courtney- Same girl who plays Glory
Both are bitches who think the world revolves around them. Like to be in control, and very into their appearances. Both have a thing against blond in control.
Cliff- Well, he reminds me of Xander, okay?!? The whole having a crush on a beautiful blonds out of their league, their laid back style, they're so much alike, it's scary. Except Cliff gets the blond, but I'll get into that later.
Taurence- She played a vampire named Claudia in Interview With The Vampire. (It's a stretch, okay?!?
Not to mention that Buffy was a cheerleader before she became the slayer and tried out for cheerleader in Sunnydale. She and Taurence are very similar in many respects. Blond beautiful, popular (well, Buffy used to be), the leader of their group, weird names, etc. The similarities are endless.
Okay, I could go on and on about the similarities for awhile, but you probably want to start reading!
2 Scene 1: L.A., here we come!
(Summer vacation has begun, and Missy, Taurence and Cliff all decide to go on a road trip. Taurence blindfolds them both and won't say where they're going. She wants it to be a surprise)
Missy: How long have we been on the road, Taurence? I'm beginning to lose track of time, and this car is stuffy! Besides, half the fun of a road trip is being to see the sites and make fun of the weirdoes and ugly people on the road.
Cliff: Oh I don't know. I find the blindfold to be a very nice way of saying you care, Taur.
Missy: You would, you perve!
Cliff: And that actually almost was insulting! Gee Missy, I'm touched.
Taurence: (Rolls her eyes) I can't believe I invited both of you on this trip. Don't bring your best friend and your boyfriend on a vacation. It never works out.
Missy: Especially when your boyfriend also happens to be my pain in the ass brother!
(Taurence and Missy crack up. Cliff just glares at them under his blindfold)
Cliff: Sure, sure, you're all against me! Attack of the cheerleaders, that's what this is!
(Taurence and Missy both crack up once more)
Taurence: Cliff, you're too much!
Missy: You should try living with him, then you'll see what a true pain in the ass he really is!
Cliff: Actually Missy, that's the best idea you've ever had. Not bad thinking, Missy. Living with a beautiful, blond cheerleader, yep, you've definitely have said some dumber things than that, I'll admit.
Missy: You should be one to talk! I actually got all A's and B's on my report cards and my average was a 3.5!
Cliff: Dude, you're serious?
Missy: Yeah, it was so weird. Being that I dropped out…
(Missy stops herself with the realization that Taurence didn't or couldn't know about that part of her life. The part that she was more than eager to forget)
Taurence: You dropped out?!?
Missy: (Makes a quick save) From the chess club. Yeah, that's it. I dropped out of chess club. You know how smart those guys are and all…
Cliff: Um, yeah, chess club.
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) That had to be the worst save you've ever made. Actually, the worst save I've ever heard of.
Missy: (Whispers back) Hey, you try thinking of on off the top of your head!
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Just don't slip again! You know she can never find about your past life. About who you really are!
Missy: (Whispers back) I know, I know! But what if she did find out? We could trust her.
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Don't be stupid! We can't take the risk. When Angel sent me to help you…
Missy: (Whispers back) I know, I know. You swore on your life never to tell a soul. But I didn't, and I know we could trust her. Wouldn't you like to be honest to your new girlfriend?
Cliff: (Whispers to Missy) Yeah, but…
Taurence: (Cuts them off) Hey, what's going on back there? Are you guys fighting again?
Cliff: Nooo, do we ever fight?
Taurence: Do I ever cheer?
Cliff: Okay, point taken.
Taurence: You know, I'm beginning to wonder how you guys didn't end up killing each other as children.
Cliff: Well, being accused of murder isn't one of my ideal situations.
(Missy kicks his shin)
(Cliff kicks her back)
Cliff: Not that it's unheard of, of course
(Missy elbows him in the stomach)
Cliff: Ow!
Taurence: Hey guys, cut that out! Sheesh! Well, we're almost there anyway.
Missy: Say, Taurence, where is it we're going, anyway?
Taurence: Oh, you guys are going to love me for this. I've always wanted to visit here, and I'm sure you guys have old friends and old hangouts we could visit.
Missy: (Rips off blindfold) Oh no, you don't mean…
(Car stops abruptly, since Taurence had slammed the brakes)
Taurence: Yep, we're in L.A.!
3 Scene 2: A visit with Angel
(Buffy is in a car, driving! Yes, she's driving to L.A. She really needs to see Angel)
Buffy: (Thinking to herself) This was definitely a bad idea! What will Angel say? What will he think of me? Will he be disgusted? Will he feel betrayed? Or what if he feels relieved or doesn't care? No, I have to tell him, no matter what he says or thinks of me.
(She parks right in front of the Angel Investigations building and gulps. She knows what she has to do, and opens the door)
Cordelia: (Looking down at her papers) Angel investigations, how may I help you?
(Looks up and sees Buffy. She nearly faints)
Oh my G-d, Buffy! What are you doing here?
Buffy: I need to talk to Angel. It's sort of important.
Cordeila: Of course. He'll be very surprised to see you, though.
Buffy: I know, it was sort of a spontaneous thing.
Cordelia: Ok, I'll go get him. The rest of the crew is out, so you won't be disturbed.
Buffy: Ok, thanks.
Cordelia: Oh, and Buffy?
Buffy: Yeah?
Cordelia: It's good to see you.
(They hug, and Buffy goes up the stairs. Cordelia allows a tear to shed. She then hears Connor crying and begins to rock him)
Cordelia: (In a baby voice) Don't worry, everything's going to be alright, wittle Connor. Yes, it will!
(However, she then puts the baby down, for she gets a vision. Although they didn't hurt anymore, it was just a habit she had grown accustomed to)
Cordelia: Oh no, Faith's back! And two others, though I cannot make out their faces. I'd better tell Angel! (But then she remembers Buffy just went upstairs to see him)
(She sheds another tear) I guess it can wait.
(Meanwhile, Buffy is walking up the stairs. She knocks on the door.)
(Angel jumps back a little startled. He puts the picture he was looking at down.)
Angel: Cordelia, is that you?
Buffy: No, it's me.
Angel: Buffy? What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?
Buffy: No apocalypse, if that's what you mean.
Angel: Oh, well come in.
(Buffy enters. She looks a little uncomfortable. So does Angel)
Angel: So, what brings you to LA.?
Buffy: Angel, a lot of stuff has happened since I've left. Stuff I feel I should tell you.
(Angel shifted uncomfortably. He hadn't exactly told her about Connor or about what he was feeling for Cordelia, and was nervous she suspected something. He just wasn't ready to tell her, not yet)
Buffy: Ok, the first thing is that Giles is gone. He's in Britain.
Angel: Oh, sorry to hear that. (He truly was, for he knew how much the librarian meant to Buffy)
Buffy: (Continuing to babble) Ok. Next, Willow got out of control with her spells and magic. She was seeing this guy called Rack…
(Angel interrupts her)
Angel: Rack! Oh my G-d, Willow's in danger!
Buffy: Relax, she stopped seeing him after she got into a car crash with my sister.
Angel: Oh my G-d! Are they ok?
Buffy: Willow's emotionally shook up and trying to quit witchcraft. Dawn has a broken arm. However, she took it pretty hard on Willow. And me. Not that I blame her.
Angel: Buffy, you shouldn't say that. It's not your fault. How could you have stopped the car crash?
Buffy: I could have realized my friend was in danger. That her magic was getting way out of hand. But I was too wrapped up in my own problems…
(She stopped for a minute and took a deep breath. She knew what was coming next, and wasn't looking forward to mentioning it. Her real reason for coming)
Angel: Buffy, you should have told me. Even if things are different between us, I still want to know when something major happens, you know?
(He then looks at the floor, feeling guilty for being hypocritical)
Buffy: I know, I know, but that isn't all. There's also something else…
Angel: What Buffy?
Buffy: (Begins to cry) No, I can't! I just can't.
Angel: Buffy, it's ok. I'm all ears. You can tell me anything.
Buffy: (Turns beet red) Al right, but promise me you won't get angry.
Angel: Al right, just tell me already!
Buffy: Ok, a few weeks ago, a musical demon came to Sunnydale and caused everybody to reveal their most secret thoughts in song. Anyway, I won't bore you with the small details. While I was singing, I told my friends…
Angel: Told them what?
Buffy: That they pulled me out of heaven!
Angel: Wow, they did what?!?
Buffy: No, no, but that's not the part I really need to tell you. Anyway, I was dancing and about to combust, when Spike saved me.
Angel: Um, ok. So?
Buffy: (She groans) So, we sort of defeated the demon thing and Spike went outside. I followed him. Then, we started to sing. Then,
(She takes a deep breath and mutters)
We kissed.
Angel: What?
Buffy: I know, I know…
Angel: No Buffy, I couldn't hear you.
Buffy: (Turns red) Oh. Well, then we, we, we…
Angel: What? Buffy, spit it out.
Buffy: We kissed.
Angel: (Grabs the side of his chair and clutches it tightly. He looks even paler than usual)
Angel: Well Buffy, spells are pretty funny things. I can't blame you for what happened. It was the spell…
Buffy: (Begins to cry) But that's not all!
Angel: (Breaks the arm of the chair because his grip had become so tight)
(Dreading what else she had to say) What else, Buffy?
Buffy: Ok, I guess I'll say it quick. We kind of kissed again, at a club after Willow did a spell…
Angel: (Breaks the other arm of the chair) Well, it was another spell…
Buffy: After the spell was done.
Angel: (Turning a little red) Well, what's a kiss, anyway?
(Buffy begins to cry)
Angel: Not another one!
Buffy: No, not exactly.
Angel: That'd good.
Buffy: We were fighting in this run down warehouse because it turns out, he can now hurt me.
Angel: Oh no! That means he's dangerous again.
Buffy: No, it's not like that. We were fighting and then I…
Angel: (groans)
Buffy: I pinned him to the wall and kissed him. Then the building collapsed and we, we…(cries hysterically)
Angel: (Anger in his voice) What, what did you do!?!
Buffy: We slept together.
(Angel cannot take the anger he is feeling inside of him and throws the chair arm at Buffy)
Buffy: (Teary eyed) You promised you wouldn't get angry.
Angel: I'm not angry.
Buffy: (Relieved) Good.
Angel: I'm furious! Anything else you want to tell me, Buffy!
Buffy: Actually, I was turned invisible by a ray gun and I, I,
Angel: Don't even bother saying it! I can't believe you. And with him!
(Buffy is crying hysterically)
Buffy: I know, I know it's weird and gross. But I came here to make things ok, to make things stop, to make things better.
Angel: (Very sarcastically) Super job, Buffy!
Buffy: (Now a little annoyed) Hey, that's not fair! It was ok when I was with Riley, and I actually liked him!
Angel: That was different. He was a human. I left so you'd have a normal life, and having a human boyfriend just is one of the things I had to accept. But, but with him! I could have stayed if that's the way you wanted to live. With a vicious undead creature!
Buffy: But…(However, her train of thought changes when she hears the sound of a baby crying)
Buffy: What was that?
Angel: That? I didn't hear anything.
Buffy: No, I heard something. A baby!
Angel: Oh, that. It's um…
Buffy: Is it Cordelia's?
Angel: Um…
Buffy: It is! Oh my G-d! I feel like such a jerk for not saying anything. Who's the father?
(Angel shifts very uncomfortable in his chair.)
Buffy: Oooooooh, the bastard left when he heard the news. The nerve! Well, I'm going to have to throw a baby shower for her. Ooooh, it will be so much fun! What's its name?
(Angel shifts uncomfortably in his chair once more)
Angel: Connor.
Buffy: Ooooo, a boy baby. Well I'll have to buy it blue little duck pjs and a blue hat and a blue…
Angel: Buffy, there's something I have to tell you…
Buffy: Oh, right. Listen, I understand that you're angry and disgusted with me, and frankly, I am too! However, I'm going to fix the mess I started. If you want, I'll throw the shower for her in Sunnydale.
Angel: No, that's not it!
Buffy: Then what?
(At this point Cordelia bursts open the door, holding Connor)
Cordelia: Angel, I had a vision. (Sees Buffy and decided not to share it, knowing her feelings about the other slayer)
Buffy: Well, I can help with the baby if you want…
Cordelia: Um, that's ok. I'm fine.
Buffy: Don't worry, Cordelia. I refuse to leave until I throw you the proper party.
Cordelia: (Looks at her if she's from outer space) You do?
Buffy: Yep. That baby will be spoiled rotten by the time I'm done with him. Come here little Connor. (Cordelia hands Buffy the baby looking at Angel with an expression on her face saying "you have some explaining to do")
Cordelia: So, you're ok with the baby? I mean, it doesn't bother you that…
(Angel shakes his head 'no' very frantically. Cordelia sighs)
Buffy: Cordelia, it wasn't your fault. These things happen all the time.
Cordelia: Um, I guess so. What?
Buffy: I'm sorry he left you, whoever the bastard is
(Angel cringes again)
but that doesn't make you or the baby wrong. As a matter of fact, this is the cutest little baby I've ever seen. He's going to grow up to be a hottie…
Cordelia: (Mutters to herself) Just like his daddy…
(But Buffy hears her)
Buffy: Say, the dad was a hottie? Aw well, easy come, easy go. You'll bounce back.
(At this point, Cordelia is beet red. She doesn't know what to say, for she doesn't want to tell Buffy about Connor if Angel doesn't want her to. She's also embarrassed that Buffy said what she thought of Angel)
Cordelia: Um, well, I have to go do some work. Connor can stay with you Buffy, if you want. I have to go look for someone…(Cordelia mouths "I'll tell you later" as she leaves)
Buffy: (Playing with the baby and smiling) Say, who's the cutest wittle baby in the world. Come on, say it. You are, you are!
Angel: Buffy…
Buffy: I know, you're angry with me and want me to go. (Sheds a tear) I understand. I'll leave when Cordelia gets back and tell her about the party. In the meanwhile, I'll wait outside…
Angel: Buffy, I have to tell you something important!
Buffy: What is it?
Angel: It's about the baby's father. You see, the baby has a father.
Buffy: Oh, then why didn't Cordelia mention him? Is he doing a good job of taking care of him?
Angel: Well, he's doing the best he can.
Buffy: Oh, that's good.
Angel: Buffy, I haven't been completely honest with you either…
Buffy: Well, shoot. Can't be worse than what I've done.
Angel: Connor's my baby.
Buffy: And another thing…..what?
Angel: I'm his father.
Buffy: If you're his father then that means… (she looks like she's about to throw up)
Cordelia and you…
Angel: No, it's not like that.
Buffy: Than who's the mother?
Angel: Darla.
(He then begins to tell her the story, while Buffy stares at him in shock)
4 Scene 3: It's never too late to cheer!
(Back in the car, Missy and Cliff are in shock of what Taurence just old them.)
Missy: Oh my G-d, you took us to L.A.!
Taurence: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Missy: Um, it's just that…
(Cliff chimes in)
Cliff: It's just that we really wanted to go to Wisconsin.
(Missy and Taurence both look at him as if he just sprouted a 3rd leg)
Cliff: Um, yeah! Always wanted to see where cheese came from, right Missy?
Missy: Um…
Cliff: Yeah, as kids, Missy wanted to become a farmer and make cheese.
Missy and Taurence: What!?!
Missy: That Cliff, he's such a kidder (elbows him in the stomach)
Cliff: Ow, what was that for?
Missy: (Whispers to him angrily) Hey, I have a reputation to keep, even if I was a cheerleader!
Missy: (Talks back in her normal voice) Come on, everyone knows you were the one who wanted to milk cows for a living…
(Taurence looks a Cliff in utter bewilderment) [tee hee, a pun!]
Taurence: You wanted to milk cows?
Missy: I know, the perve!
(They both laugh)
Cliff: The cheerleaders of the world unite! Beware, or you may become their next victim!
(They both laugh again)
Missy: You know what? L.A.'s fine.
(Cliff looks at her as if she's insane. She glares at him)
Missy: I'm going to tell her, she has a right to know…
Cliff: No, you'll put her in danger!
Taurence: What the hell's going on, you guys? Were you guys fugitives in L.A. or something?
(Missy makes a face, while Cliff shakes his head)
Cliff: Might as well tell her now…
Taurence: Tell me what?
(However, before she could say anything, Missy sees Cordelia walking down the street looking for someone)
Missy: Crap, she knows we're in L.A. Which means…
Cliff: Oh crap, Angel!
Missy: He'll be pissed!
Cliff: Taurence, we have to get out of here. We'll explain everything on the ride.
Taurence: I'm not moving until someone explains!
Missy: I like your moxy, but… (punches Taurence out)
We don't have time for that crap, so let's get moving! Cliff, you drive!
(Back where Cordelia is…)
Cordelia: Faith, Faith? Faith, where are you?
(However, she can't spot her anywhere, and decides to go back to Angel Investigations, when she sees a cheerleading display in the street)
Cordelia: Hmmm, I wonder what that's all about…
(She walks toward the display)
Courtney: Come one and all, to our cheerleader booth, where we will tell you how to become a cheerleader.
Whitney: We wear short skirts, we're really popular, and we shout really loud!
Courtney: Hey, I thought I was going to tell the people that! I'm the one who thought of it!
Whitney: Well that's too damn bad! I decided we should do this, therefore I'm in charge of this operation!
Courtney: What! How dare you? I'm the one who came up with all the ideas! I'm the one who's more popular!
Whitney: Yeah right, you slut!
Courtney: You did not just call me what I think you did!
Whitney: Oh, you better believe it! I'm so going to be captain at cheerleading camp.
Courtney: So that's what this is about. Think you stand a chance against me?
Whitney: You bet I do!
Courtney: Well than bring it!
Whitney: Oh, it's already been broughten!
Courtney: It's brought, you loser! You know what, I don't need you! I'll find someone else to be my sidekick.
Whitney: What? Hell no, I'm no sidekick!
Courtney: You're annoying me, and you called me a slut! Now, you die!
(Courtney tries to choke Whitney, but it isn't working, so she bites her really hard.)
Courtney: I'll kill you, you hoar!
(She places her hands on Whitney's neck again and this time succeeds in killing her)
Courtney: Hmmm, I wish I still had my powers. Then, I could have sucked her brains out! Then again, she didn't have brains! (Laughs hysterically)
(At this point, Cordelia walks over to the booth. She sees the dead cheerleader on the ground, and is shocked)
Cordelia: Oh my G-d, she's…
(Courtney interrupts her)
Courtney: Sleeping!
Cordelia: What?
Courtney: Yeah, she has narcolepsy. Falls asleep just about everywhere.
Cordelia: Um, oh.
Courtney: Hey, you look familiar…
Cordelia: I do?
Courtney: Yeah! I know, you're from Sunnyhell!
Cordelia: (A little nervous) Um, what makes you say that?
Courtney: You were a cheerleader at Sunnydale High School. My school cheered against yours all the time.
Cordelia: Um, yeah, I used to be a cheerleader.
Courtney: How'd you like to be my assistant? Since she's, um, sleeping, I need someone to come tell the less fortunate to become cheerleaders!
Cordelia: (A smile forms on her face) Gee, I haven't cheered in a couple of years.
Courtney: Don't worry, a good cheerleader never forgets. Besides, you look like a cheerleader with some serious attitude, and that's what I need.
Cordelia: I used to be a bitch, but I've changed.
Courtney: And so have I! I used to be a Go…(stops herself)
Courtney: A go, go dancer, but cheerleading was so much cooler.
Cordelia; Um, I guess.
Courtney: So, what do you say?
(Cordelia thinks of Angel and Buffy together in the building and feels that they don't need her there right now. Besides, this may make her feel better.)
Cordelia: You know what, sure!
Courtney: Great! Now, go change into this cheerleading outfit.
Cordelia: But what about your friend?
Courtney: Oh, um, I'll take her to her house while you change. It's right across the street.
Cordelia: Ok. (She goes into a clothes shop and uses one of the dressing rooms)
Courtney: Now to get rid of this skanky evidence! (She dumps Whitney in the trash)
Courtney: (Thinks to herself) I like her, she seems powerful.
(Cordelia comes out of the shop, smiling)
Courtney: Come on, let's go!
Cordelia: Cheerleader power!
(They giggle and begin "their mission")
5 Scene 4: Let's go to Sunnydale!
(Angel has just finished telling Buffy all about Connor and Darla. Buffy is the pale looking one this time)
Buffy: So, when were you planning on telling me?
Angel: Um…
Buffy: I mean, I wouldn't have bitten your head off or anything. I would have understood. But you, you had a little hissy fit!
Angel: I know, but can you blame me?
Buffy: (Sighs) No. But Angel?
Angel: Yeah?
Buffy: Can I ask you a few personal questions?
Angel: Um, shoot.
Buffy: Ok, when you lost your soul, what was it like?
Angel: Huh? Why are you asking me that years later?
Buffy: Because now I have the guts to ask you.
Angel: Um, it's not an experience you can put into words. Well, you lose all of your pain and guilt, and what's left is a craving for blood, death and misery.
Buffy: Ok, and you say that all of your pain goes away?
Angel: Yeah, pretty much. Why?
Buffy: Then why is Spike so miserable?
Angel: Gee Buffy, why don't you ask him?
Buffy: Because he'd never tell me. He'd tell you, though.
Angel: So?
Buffy: Come with me back to Sunnydale. Just for a visit. I'm so freakin lost and scared!
Angel: I don't think so. I have stuff to do in L.A.
Buffy: Well, then answer this question. Why didn't you still love me without your soul?
(Angel is taken by surprise by her question and jumps back)
Buffy: Why? I need to know, otherwise my questions will remain unanswered.
Angel: Buffy, what makes you say that?
Buffy: Huh?
Angel: "To kill this girl, you have to love her." Said it myself.
Buffy: But, that doesn't make sense!
Angel: Life never does.
Buffy: Ok, then why doesn't Spike try to kill me?
Angel: Gee Buffy, shouldn't you discuss that with him?
Buffy: Angel, stop being such a jerk! I came because I trust you and know you to be very wise. However, you're not acting it right now. And one more thing.
Angel: What?
Buffy: Do you have a thing for Cordelia?
(Back in the car with Missy, Cliff and Taurence)
Cliff: Missy, we can't stay in L.A.! Angel will so kick my ass.
Missy: Hey, I don't want to go back to jail!
Cliff: So, where are we off to?
Missy: The one place they won't ever think to look for us.
Cliff: Where? Wisconsin?
Missy: No, you idiot! What's up with you and Wisconsin, anyway?
Cliff: Sentimental to me, really. Ate so much cheese there once that I was throwing up for days. Cheese and demons don't mix.
Missy: You mean half demon, babe.
Cliff: Yeah, that works too!
Missy: Well, we'll tell Taurence what's going on when we get there.
Cliff: Where?
Missy: Sunnyhell !
(Back in Angel Investigations)
Angel: What? You know I can't fall for anyone.
Buffy: Same here. You know I have to be strong for Dawn and get myself a normal life. Well, as normal as I can.
Angel: We're screwed, aren't we?
Buffy: Pretty much.
Angel: You know what? I need to take a vacation. But what about Connor?
Buffy: Bring him with you. Everyone will love him.
Angel: Well, I guess it'd be ok. Let me just leave a note for Cordelia and for the rest of the group. I'll leave them my emergency cell phone number.
Buffy: You have a cell phone?
Angel: Yeah, don't you?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Angel: Um, that's weird.
Buffy: I guess. So, ready for Sunnydale?
Angel: As ready as anyone can be. I don't know what's wrong with me, though. Why am I going back there?
Buffy: I dunno. I keep wondering what possessed me to come to LA. and invite you to Sunnydale.
Angel: Well, we'll soon find out.
(However, Angel knows exactly why he's going. To kick some bleached blond vampire ass!)
Buffy: But I drive!
Angel: Oh no!
(Back on the streets of L.A.)
Cordelia: Come one, come all to be a cheerleader!
Courtney: We wear cute outfits, are popular and pretty, and get to scream really loud!
Cordelia: It looks great on college applications!
Courtney: And gets you power. Someday, cheerleaders will rule the earth, and I will be in power once more! Ha, ha, ha!
(Everyone on the street stares at her, including Cordelia)
Courtney: Um, kidding of course.
Cordelia: And did we mention it's a real guy magnate?
Courtney: You get free pompoms!
Girl on street: Um, so what?
Courtney: So, doesn't that just make you want to join?
Girl: Not really. I'd much rather play soccer.
Courtney: Your loss! (mutters) Skanky loser!
Girl #2: Cheerleaders are nothing more than a cult of skinny bitches trying to take over the world!
Cordelia: No, that's not completely true! It's a sport where you make plenty of friends and have fun experiences.
Girl # 3: Bullshit!
Courtney: Say missy, I don't like your attitude!
Girl # 2: What are you gonna do about it?
Courtney: I'm going to, I'm going to rip your…
(Cordelia is staring at her horrified)
Courtney: I'm going to rip up your application slip!
Girl # 3: But I never asked for one!
Coutney: Shut up! I mean, don't worry about it. Now, go play soccer or something.
Girl #1: In the street!
Coutney: Um, whatever. I don't care!
(The three girls run away, crying for their mommies)
Cordelia: That was way harsh!
Courtney: Sorry, but non believers get me so angry. Say, let's go somewhere where cheerleaders are appreciated.
Cordelia: Where?
Courtney: Um, how about Hollywood?
Cordelia: Nah, I know someplace better.
Courtney: Do tell!
Cordelia: (smiles) Well, I'll tell you when we get there.
Courtney: Um, sure.
Cordelia: (Thinks to herself) I've been meaning to visit Sunnydale for awhile, anyway.
To be continued. Please read and review! Will get better and funnier, I promise!