'10 points for nudity!'
Disclaimer: Don't own it. J.K Rowling does, along with whoever she chose to sell it to, but I am not one of them. I used direct quotes in here, because I am a weenie, from the fifth book. They are in italics. It's not just because Draco is special, but the twins most certainly are.
AN: H/D Slash implied. Get over it.
"Are you sure this is going to work?"
"No, but we're doing it anyway!"
Laughter ensued.
"Shurrup, you dolts! You'll draw attention to us.."
"Sorry, Blaise" Malcolm snickered, stifling his laugh as he shoved the used parchment notes into his robe pockets and straightened, looking inconspicuously around them.
"Hehe, this is going to be legendary,"
As the three slytherin boys scurried away from the niches along the walls of the Great Hall into that of the Entrance, and saw the newly confronted group of fifth-year's most popular rivals, they couldn't believe their good luck.
Draco Malfoy stood flanked as usual by his two bodyguards, his sharp, pale features alight with malice like it were a substance he thrived off of - for in all concerns it rather was. Hermione Granger had just snapped a sharp sentence that was still vibrating off the stone walls around them.
'"The Inquisitorial Squad, Granger," said Malfoy, pointing to the badge upon his robes just beneath a golden 'P'. "A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points... So, Granger, I'll have five from you for being so rude about our head mistress.. Macmillian, five for contradicting me...Five because I don't like you, Potter... Weasley, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five points for that... Oh, yeah, I forgot, you're a Mudblood, Granger, so ten points for that...""
Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering "Don't!"' By the way her eyes met his, there was obviously something she was worried about more than their loss of the House Cup or Ron, Harry and Draco having a tag-team fight-to-the-death.
''"Wise move, Granger," breathed Malfoy. "New Head, new times...Be good now, Potty...Weasel King..."' He whisked around proudly, about to stride off with his usual Malofoyish demeanor.
"Sodding hell!" Harry hissed out, his fists shaking slightly in restraint from ringing the other boy's neck.
"Tsk, tsk, Potter," Draco scoffed without glancing back. "What a mouth you have! That's another ten points.. it's a good thing you can't kiss your mother with that mouth.."
Hermione called out Harry's name before the boy even grasped the nasty words enough to set off after the blonde boy, so he made a full-body startled twitch torn between the two options. He had to admit, his own sounded much more appealing.
"And there's that temper again. It's a shame, that'll be another ten points. You don't learn a lesson easy, do you, Potter?"
"You didn't even turn around, you sodding prat!" Ron cried indignantly. Hermione smacked herself in the forehead.
"So that's where you got your mouth, eh? Ten points, Weasel, for being a bad influence.."
"Seriously, you two, we should just drop it!" Hermione pleaded.
"Oy, your voice annoys me... five points, Granger."
Ron paused a moment, finding it odd Hermione seemed to have discarded not only her school robes, but the grey vest and tie they wore beneath it. He didn't really care, though. "How do you expect us to get anywhere without beating his face in?"
"Such a violent attitude, that will never do... five points." Draco purred, obviously enjoying lavishing the other student's with such attention. Crabbe and Goyle shifted from foot to foot, not bothering to stifle ugly snickers.
Ron bristled, his ears turning a shade of crimson. Harry glanced to Hermione, quite the same way. "Just give us one good shot, we can just modify his memory later.."
"Conspiracy!" Draco practically giggled. "Ten, Potter, Ten!"
"Sounds like a good plan," Ron hissed, starting towards the other boy in a blinding fury.
"RONALD WEASLEY!" Hermione cried.
"Keep your voice down, Granger! Five!"
"Dammit!" She whispered with an afraid look, and winced when she abruptly shortened by three inches.
Harry finally noticed something peculiar with the situation. He managed to grab Ron's shoulder just in time, more concerned with Hermione. "What just happened?"
She gave him a very disgruntled look. "About time you noticed. Look down at yourselves, you dolts!"
Harry glanced at his own chest - free of robe, vest, tie, and shoes. Ron was much the same, and just as startled.
"What the fu-"
Draco laughed. "Language! Ten!"
Ron's eyes widened in realization as he felt his shoes disappear beneath his feet. "BLOODY HELL! HE'S-!"
"You children never learn, do you?" asked the blonde lightly, before deducting another five, for each of them.
The gryffindor boys both found themselves shirtless, and Hermione desperately clung to her own as she felt her ko-gal socks disappear from her very calves. Knowing better than staying, she turned towards the Great Hall doorways, where a suspicious group of Slytherins were shattering with laughter.
"Draco, you freak, what the hell are you doing?" Ron exclaimed, looking up now, horrified.
"As I please, Weasel King, as I sodding well please!" The brat tossed his head back and laughed.
Somehow, he was still completely oblivious to everything - he had never bothered to turn back around and face them, believing it not worth his time. But he could sit here and deduct points all day. "And for that insult, another five points."
Somewhere behind him, the redhead cursed loudly, and Harry cried "What the hell? ..Dude.. those are mine..."
"Uh, Draco? Do you know.. what you're.. doing..?" a wide-eyed Crabbe asked the smaller boy.
"I'm going to KILL HIM! FUCKING KILL HIM!"
"Ten points each!" Draco laughed joyously, having to actually clutch his stomach now.
"... You're sick, Draco..." muttered a distant Harry. "I had no idea... you were a sadistic queer.."
That certainly knocked the smile off the blonde's face. "WHAT? THAT'S FIFTY SODDING POINTS, POT-" He halted with wide eyes when he whipped around, silver eyes going wide at the sight of the buck-naked Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
"...What... the... HELL. DID. YOU. DO!" Draco fumed, unable to help but stare at the two nude boys but screaming at the threesome some feet behind, who were howling and cat-calling in laughter, tears streaming down their pale cheeks.
"Don't deny it," Ron spat.
"You really are... I had no idea... this certainly spins the rivalry in a whole new direction.."
"Will you quit fantasizing and FIND US SOME CLOTHES?" Ron snapped back at Harry.
"Only if he'll stop starring.." he replied, jeering darkly at Draco, who gave a ripe blush.
"I-I'm ... augh... that's RIDICULOUS, Potter! I aught-"
"Isn't it pointless to deduct points now?"
Draco growled softly - he couldn't understand how that scrawny dark-haired boy could just stand there, in his birthday suit, instead of being like his friend who had the decency to sock Malcolm Braddock in the face and steal his robe. He wasn't about to deduct points for that. "Only if it'll mean you'll be missing members, next."
"And the one you had in mind? My, my, Malfoy... you've really surprised me! Though I usually don't even kiss on the first date.."
"Ohhh, you're asking for it, Potter.."
"Wait, does that mean I'm the submissive?" the other gasped. It was his turn to thoroughly enjoy himself - watching the multitude of shades of blush cross Draco's face.
"You're a legend, Harry!" Fred cried at the table before doubling over against his twin in laughter some hours later. The boy grinned proudly, having finished his story. Hermione smiled awkwardly, and Ron still looked rather pissed and confused that Harry had enjoyed himself so much.
"Yeah, yeah," George choked. "Montague tried to do us during the break."
".. What do you mean, 'tried'?" Ron asked quickly.
The identical red-heads erupted in grins.