I, Kouji Tamino, do not own the Excel Saga manga or anime. The creator was Koshi Rikdo, the publisher was Young King Ours, the company was Victor Entertainment, it is licensed in America by ADV and Viz. If I have missed anything… please don't sue, or I'll cry… ;_;
…Now that that is out of the way, a few notes… I have only seen Volume 1 of the anime, and read only 4 volumes of the manga. (So no Ropponmatsu robots, sorry… Unless you WANT me to brutally ruin the characters in OOC-ness… =P) Anyway, that's all! Enjoy the fic! And by the way, yes a later joke in here is ripped off another comedy… So sue me… Wait, I didn't mean it!!
~~~
The trademark "Rikdo FQX" logo comes up, and we see a movie theater. There are many 'Excel Saga' characters sitting in the audience, and right as the movie starts, Koshi Rikdo stands up and faces the audience. He clears his throat and speaks. "I, Koshi Rikdo, give my permission for the 'Excel Saga' anime to be made into a full length feature film!" He smiles, but the audience, angry at him interrupting the film, throw their refreshments at him. He dodges, and the movie is hit with the "Rikdo's signature" stamp.
The screen turns black. We hear very loud, dramatic music that frightens the audience. The 'Excel Saga' logo flies onscreen, but something is different about it. It now says 'Quack Experimental Movie Excel Saga' and a smaller title appears under it "The Amazing Funky Psychedelic Plane and a Yellow Submarine (Not appearing)". We now begin our 'movie'… But first, the opening song!
Get Over It!
Sung by the Excel Girls
Sometimes things can get a little bit tough…
Sometimes things can get you down…
I can be there to pick you up…
You're the greatest guy in town…
Sometimes you feel so bad…
Sometimes you feel blue…
I will always be there for you!
And I know just what to do…
Get the hell over it!
Sitting and moping will do nothing!
You've gotta fix it yourself!
No one's gonna do it for you!
Get up and shout!
"I'm tired of being a whiny lil' b****!!"
You gotta do it yourself!
So stand up, and get over it!
~~~
"Hail Il Palazzo!" our favorite protagonist yells. She looks around, and notices some people moving things around and out of Across Personal. "Um… Excel is confused, Lord Il Palazzo… Why are all these people here, and what are they doing?!"
Il Palazzo sat on his throne, that serious look plastered on his face. He stare at Excel long and hard, then uncharacteristically smiled. "Well, Agent Excel… As everyone has been working so hard lately, I decided that it was time to go on vacation… We are going to Hawaii."
Excel blinked. "Wow, that is really cool and all, but where did you find the funds for this vacation, Lord Il Palazzo?!"
Il Palazzo cough nervously. "Ahem, well I did some scrimping here and there…"
Excel stared at Il Palazzo for a few seconds, as if processing this information, than smiled brightly. "Okay, then! Yay, we're going on vacation!" Excel began to dance in place.
Il Palazzo thought to himself. "Actually, I won 3 free tickets to Hawaii and I didn't wan them to go to waste… Besides, maybe I can secretly recruit a few new members and set up an Across Personal in the US…"
Excel, still dancing, stopped and scratched her head. "Excuse me, Lord Il Palazzo, but where is Ha-chan?" Excel looked left and right, up and--
"You are *ahem* standing on her…" Il Palazzo interrupted. He pointed to the floor, and Excel was indeed standing on the anemic young woman.
Excel coughed. "Oh… Sorry, Ha-chan!" Excel said, helping Hyatt up.
"Oh that's quite alright, senior Excel…" Hyatt smiled. "Besides, I--" Hyatt began coughing violently, then coughed up blood on Excel.
"Ew…" Excel twitched. "Excel will go get ready after cleaning up…"
~~~
Meanwhile, at the Safety Assurance Agency Personal, a similar conversation was going on. Dr. Kabapu smiled as he greeted his workers. "Hello, everyone!"
The group weakly waved back. "Hello, doctor…"
"My, you all seem tired… Why so?"
Watanabe gritted his teeth. "Because, doctor… You had us out all night picking up every single piece of litter from that party those people had last night…"
"Well, we have to keep the city clean, don't we?… Besides, I have something for you…"
"Whatever it is, we don't want it!!! I'm sick of being overworked! That sewer incident was enough for me!"
"Well then, I guess you won't want these tickets for a vacation to Hawaii, then…" The good doctor then turned on his heel and left the room. The civil service workers all looked at each other for a moment, then looked at the door that the doctor had walked through. They suddenly jumped up and ran out the door after him. "Wait!!! We wanna go!!"
A few minutes later, Dr. Kabapu and the others were all sitting down, discussing their plans for the trip. After this was all said and done, the doctor nodded. "So it is settled. We leave in two days at 9:00 AM… Be packed by the night before." Misaki nodded. Watanabe nodded. Iwata nodded. Sumiyoshi nodded. Nabeshin nodded. The members of the SAA looked to Nabeshin. He smiled nervously. "Um, I'll be on my way then…" He sped off, never to be heard from again… Well, not really…
~~~
Nabeshin walked through town, hands in pockets. He smiled. "I have my own 2 tickets, anyway… But who will I take with me?" He looked around. "That guy?… Nope… That woman?… Naw… That Koshi Rikdo?… Nuh uh…" He then saw Pedro, sadly wandering the streets. He ran over to him. "Hey, Pedro!"
Pedro looked over and waved pathetically. "Hello there… *sigh*"
"Just call me Nabeshin… Anyway, Pedro! How would you like to go on a little vacation and just forget about your problems for a while?"
"I don't know… Pedro must find a way to get back to his sexy wife and adorable son, Sandora…"
"Oh, come on… Live a little…"
"Alright…"
"Okay, good!" Nabeshin gives Pedro the ticket. "I'll see you in two days!" He then dashed off again for whatever reason. He then ran back and hands Pedro something else.
"What is this?…" Pedro asks, confused.
"A coupon for 50% off prunes! Seeya!" He then ran off.
"PRUNES?! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Hey, I was just kidding! It's actually for Pocky!" Nabeshin's voice says off in the distance.
"Oh…" Pedro nods, then calms down. He then looks at the coupon more carefully. "Hey, wait… THIS COUPON EXPIRED A MONTH AGO!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
~~~
And so, 2 days passed…
~~~
Excel awoke in her futon, excited. She hopped up from bed, then began to march around the room. "Yay! Today is the day! And… And maybe I can be alone with Lord Il Palazzo… And we can--" Excel then went into one of her fantasies.
~
"Oh, Excel…" Il Palazzo said lustily. "This island atmosphere is making me want to reveal my true feelings for you…" He held Excel in his arms.
Excel looked up at Il Palazzo. "Yes, Lord Il Palazzo?…"
"Excel, I think I love you…"
Excel blushed. "Oh Lord Il Palazzo… Take me now!"
They both leaned in closer for a kiss, and--
~
"Senior?" Hyatt called out to the fantasizing Excel.
"Ack!" Excel snapped out of it. "Um, yes Hyatt?…"
"Don't think it would be a good idea to get ready for the trip?"
"Oh, yes… Um… Wait! What about Menchi?"
"Bow?… Bow…" Menchi whimpered.
"Awww, Menchi…" Excel said, picking up a howling Menchi. "We'll miss you too… But wait! Can't we take Menchi with us? Like in one of those pet thingies?"
Hyatt blinked. "I believe so…"
Excel punched the air. "Yay! Menchi is coming with us!"
"Arf?!"
~~~
And so, they made it to the airport…
~~~
"Yay!!! Excel's never been to America before!! Lord Il Palzzo can I get something to eat and can I get that bear over there and why is that guy selling white powder and--"
Il Palazzo pulled a rope that came from out of nowhere and Excel somehow fell down the pit.
"Wha-- Where the hell did that come frooooo…"
"She can be such a pest sometimes…" Il Palazzo muttered. He then continued on his way, Hyatt carrying Menchi and following.
Soon, Excel ran back into the airport and ran to catch up. "Wait for me, Lord Il Palazzo!! Aww, you're being so mean!!"
~~~
"Wow!" Iwata yelled. "I've never been in an airport before! Look at this place!"
Sumiyoshi looked at Iwata (Quite excitable, isn't he?…)
Watanabe smacked his forehead. "He's so embarrassing…"
Iwata ran around the airport, knocking down people in the process. "Hey, why is this guy selling white powder? And what the hell is up with that bear?! And--" Iwata was then socked in the face by Misaki. "Ow!"
"Thank you…" Watanabe muttered.
"I didn't do it for you", Misaki began, "I did it for myself…"
"Hey!" Iwata growled.
~~~
Il Palazzo walked through the metal detector. It beeped. A security guard walked up to him. "Sir, I'll have to ask you to remove your crown…"
Il Palazzo stared at the guard with his cold yellow eyes. The guard gulped. Il Palazzo blinked. "Excuse me?…"
"Um, sir could you please remove your crown?…"
"Fear…"
"What?"
"Everyone fears something… Fear the bishounen eyes…"
"I fear the bishounen eyes…"
"Good… Now you will let me through…"
"I will let you through…" the guard let Il Palazzo through the metal detector.
Il Palazzo smiled. "I will have to thank Excel for suggesting that…"
Hyatt got through with no problem, but Excel-- *beep beep beep beep beep*
The guard snapped out of the trance. "Um miss, you'll have to empty your pockets…"
Excel blinked, then empty out her… pockets? Anyway, the contents that were found included her 'manga author assassination' sword, Good Excel's little gun, Bad Excel's body, a 'How to Prepare Dog' cookbook, and various other suspicious looking items.
The security guard stared at her. "Heeey… What's the deal with all that freaky stuff?…"
Excel began sweating bullets… Literally. The security guard gave her another weird look. Excel smiled, then jumped up. "Boottothehead!" She screamed, kicking the guard right square in the middle of his face. She then ran after the others. "Gyaaaaahouttamyway!!!!" She then heard a voice.
"Pssst! Over here!!!" the voice said.
"Hmmm?…" Excel walked over to where she heard the voice. She sweat dropped as she saw that it was a trash can. She walked closer to it, when suddenly two hands pulled her in. "Kyah!"
"Shhh! Be quiet…"
"Nabeshin?!" Excel said, surprised. She looked around and her eyes widened. "Mr. Pedro?!"
"Oh! Hello Ms. Excel! Are you hiding from guards, too?"
"Yeah, but… Why the hell are you two here?!"
Nabeshin coughed. "They, um… Wanted to check my afro…"
Pedro whimpered. "And Pedro does not know how he got in here!"
"Anyway, we're just waiting until the guards go by and leave…"
Just then, the guards walked by the garbage can.
Guard 1: Did you see them?
Guard 2: No! Sorry sir!
Guard 1: Shit! The boss is gonna chew our asses out if we don't find them!
Guard 2: Ew… That sounds nasty…
Guard 1: It's just a figure of speech!
Guard 3: Maybe they are in the garbage can?…
Guard 1: You idiot! Why would they be in there?! It's too small to even hold the girl!! Now let's go!!
The guards ran off. After a few minutes, Excel got out of the garbage can. She was followed by Nabeshin and Pedro, surprising a few watching bystanders. Excel smiled and shook the two mens hands. "Thanks, you two! Now I'm off!" She then ran to catch up with the others. She ran as fast as her two legs would let her, but she arrived too late. She saw a plane take off. A lone tear ran down her eye. "No… It can't be… Wait for me, Lord Il Palazzo!!!" She leaned against the wall and slowly sunk down to the ground. "Am I doomed to stay here while Lord Il Palazzo sits on the beach with Hyatt, both of them half naked, moist in sweat and suntan lotion, getting tans and--?!" Excel was then lost in her imagination again…
~
"Lord Il Palazzo, could you put some sunscreen on my back?…"
"Why yes, Hyatt…"
"Oh, Lord Il Palazzo, you're so good with your hands…"
"Of course…"
"Ooh! Not there, you bad boy… Ooohhh, that feels so good… Want me to do the same?…"
"That would be lovely…"
~
"Noooo!!! Lord Il Palazzo is mine!!"
"Um, Excel?…" Il Palazzo called.
"I can even here his voice now…"
"But senior…" Hyatt began.
"And I can hear Hyatt, too!" Excel screamed.
"But senior, we are here!"
"…Oh…"
Il Palazzo coughed. "The flight was delayed…"
~~~
And so finally, on the plane…
~~~
"Okay!" Excel screamed. "We are on the plane!! Yay! Happy day!!! This is gonna be fun!! I--" Excel was once again sent down the pit.
Il Palazzo blinked. "Odd, where did this rope come from?… I was simply reaching for this light…" he then stretched his arm up above him and turned off the light that someone had forgotten to turn off.
Excel slumped back onto the plane. "Lord Il Palazzo?…"
"Yes, Excel?…"
"If it wouldn't be any trouble, could you please refrain from pulling that roipe while the plane has taken off and is in the air?…"
Il Palazzo chuckled. "Of course, Excel… I'm not cruel…"
Hyatt coughed violently, then died in her seat. Suddenly, a few people screamed. After a bit of chaos, Hyatt revived in record time. "Oh my… Did I cross over again?…"
Just then, a stewardess was dragging Doctor Iwata over. "See, doctor?! This girl--" She stared in shock at the quite alive Hyatt. "But… she was dead a few minutes ago!"
The scarred doctor blinked. "I've met this girl before and she did the same thing last time… Just smile and nod…" he said, walking off slowly. "…smile and nod…"
~~~
Meanwhile, in 1st Class…
~~~
Watanabe raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?…"
Misaki nodded. "Yep, word has it that a girl in coach 'died', then came back an hour later…"
Watanabe crossed his arms and closed his eyes. "I see…" He then became lost in deep thought. "Could it be?… Is Ms. Ayasugi really on this plane?… It seems that maybe we really are bonded by something, and destined to be together forev--"
"*BURP!!*" Iwata belched. "That was some tasty fish…"
( I had th' beef, m'self…) Sumiyoshi added.
"Damn you!!!" Watanabe screamed. "I was deep in serious thought, and you had to go and do something so disgusting!!"
"Hey! Lighten up!" Iwata shrugged. He was then pounded in the top of his head by Watanabe's fist. "I'll 'lighten' you up!!!"
Doctor Kabapu sat in his own little row, rubbing his temples. He sighed. "They are making a scene…"
~~~
Meanwhile, in the Super Funky Psychedelic Class…
~~~
"Hello, ladies!! Nabeshin has arrived!!" Nabeshin burst into his own private part of the plane. The beautiful women all waved excitedly and screamed. They all pounced Nabeshin and began to feel through his afro.
"Pedro did not know that you were Playboy…" Pedro said, looking around.
"Oh, them?… Nah, they just really like the 'fro…"
Suddenly, Pedro was snatched up in a pink whirlwind and whisked into the restroom. The foreign construction worker found himself face to face with a pink haired girl. She blushed lightly. "Mr. Pedro… I have admired you from afar…"
"But… I have a sexy wife and adorable son at home…"
The girl responded by French kissing him. "Just forget about them… Besides, I have mind controlling lipstick…"
"… How cliché…" Pedro blinked. The mind control kicked into effect. "But maybe I could stay a little longer…" Pedro then snapped out of it. "No, I can't!" Pedro then tried to escape, but the girl blocked his way.
"I will not let you go…" she snarled.
"I knew this wasn't a good idea!!" Pedro screamed, accidentally knocking them both over and out of the restroom. Pedro got up and accidentally got a peek under the girl's skirt, as did everyone else in the room.
Nabeshin's eyes got wide as saucer's. "Tsun-chan, you--"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
~~~
Excel raised an eyebrow. "Did you hear that?…"
Hyatt coughed again. "What, Senior Excel?…"
"That scream…"
"No, I'm afraid I didn't hear it…"
"Guess I was just hearing things, then…" Excel relaxed. The plane had taken off a few minutes ago.
Watanabe, at that moment, came running in. "Ms. Ayasugi! You are here! Um, I mean… What a surprise to see you here!"
"Hello, Watanabe! How are you?" Hyatt asked.
"Oh, um…" Watanabe blushed. "I'm fine… How about you?…"
"Oh, I'm fine… Thank you for asking…"
"Um, may I sit next to you?…"
"Well you see, my senior is sitting here, and --"
Excel's eyes bugged out as Watanabe grabbed her and tossed her off somewhere. "There! Problem solved!!!" Watanabe yelled triumphantly as he sat down next to Hyatt.
"Um, if you say so…"
"So anyway, I--"
"Watanabe…" Iwata groaned. "I have a stomach ache…"
"Damnit, just rest for a while then!! Can't you see I'm talking?!"
"But I--" Iwata then ran off to the closest restroom.
"Good riddance… Anyway, I--"
"Attention!" someone on the intercom said. "The captain and co-captain have gotten VERY sick. You are all going to die. Have a nice day! Hee hee!"
The passengers took a few seconds to process this. Someone coughed loudly. Finally, they realized the danger they were in and everyone screamed. Excel, waking up from getting knocked out when she was thrown, looked around. "Ehh?… What's going on?…"
"Hey, wait… Just why are they sick?…" Watanabe growled.
"They must have eaten the fish like Iwata…" Misaki groaned as she walked into coach.
"Wait!!" Excel screamed. "Lord Il Palazzo ate the fish!!!" She slowly turned around to see a green faced Il Palazzo vomiting in a barf bag. "Noooo!!! Lord Il Palazzo has been ruined!!"
Il Palazzo weakly looked at Excel. "I… apologize for my current state…"
"WHY?! Why couldn't it be me?!" Excel screamed.
Il Palazzo suddenly vomited all over Excel.
"…Kyah!!! Excel is messy! Why couldn't it have been another one of Lord Il Palazzo's bodily fluids!!"
Iwata gulped. "Ugh… I don't feel good…"
"Ew!!" Watanabe yelled in disgust. "Get a way from me! If you barf, I'll kill you!"
Iwata whimpered in pain. He looked to Misaki for comfort.
"Don't even think about it… I'm as intolerant for vomit as him, so unless you want your illness to be the least of your problems… I'd suggest backing off…"
Iwata whimpered more pathetically and a lone tear fell down his face.
Sumiyoshi frowned. (Don't you think that t'was a bit harsh, lass?)
Misaki raised an eyebrow. "Maybe… But I still stick by my decision…"
(Wer is th' good dokta, anyway?…)
"Hmmm… I think I saw him sleeping back in 1st Class…"
~~~
Return to 1st Class!
~~~
"Snore…"
~~~
Meanwhile, in Super Funky Psychedelic Class!
~~~
"Pedro don't feel so good…" a green Pedro moaned.
"I told ya that you should have gotten the beef…" Nabeshin shook his head. "Oh well… It can't be helped now… Just settle down, Pedro… You should be fine…"
"Alright…"
"Now let's see what's going on with the others…" Nabeshin smirked, walking into the next class.
~~~
Back to coach!
~~~
A shady figure with black hair, a scar, and wearing a long jacket cursed to himself. "Damn… This illness may set my plans back a bit… But oh well…" the figure stood up.
Excel caught the motion in her left eye. She jumped up. "Hey! You!! Are you a doctor or something?! Can you help us?"
The figure laughed. "No… You see, my dear, I have…" the figure opened his jacket to reveal several packs of hotdogs. "…a bomb!" He looked at himself as everyone laughed. "Oops, wrong one!" he realized, closing his jacket. "*ahem* Let's try this again, shall we?… I have…" He opened up his jacket again to reveal a bomb. "…a bomb!" Several people screamed.
The intercom went off again. "Attention, passengers… Please do not panic, but-- Oh who the hell am I kidding, we're all screwed!! There is a FUCKING BOMB on the plane, and we are ALL gonna GET OUR ASSES BLEW THE HELL UP!! Anyway, thank you for flying Fukuoka Airlines, and have a NICE DAMN DAY"
Excel blinked, then ran around screaming. "Gyah!! He's gotta bomb! Now we're gonna die ten times over and I'll never be able to see my non-green Lord Il Palazzo again!!!"
"Never fear, everyone!" a funky, heroic voice exclaimed. Everyone's favorite director with a fro ran in triumphantly. "Nabeshin is here! And that mad bomber is not what he seems!!" Nabeshin bravely, or stupidly depending on what you think, ran over to the bomber and grabbed his face. "Behold, the face of evil!" he then proceeded to rip off the bomber's face, revealing him to be a Puchuu in disguise.
The evilly cute creature from Mars cutely tilted it's head. Now ain't that damn cute? "Puchuu!"
Nabeshin twitched. "Mustn't… give in… to cuteness…" He whimpered, then grabbed the Puchuu in a hug. "It's no use!! It's too cute!!"
"But wait!…" Excel screamed. "Those things can't talk in cute form! What the hell is going on here?!"
The Puchuu cleared it's throat. "I see you are still as sharp as ever, Warrior from Earth… We Puchuu's cannot speak naturally in our 'cute forms'… But I learned… And planned my revenge on you and Nabeshin… After you destroyed our ship, I was badly injured and ugly… I was found by an old couple who took pity on my ugly face, and I was nurtured back to cuteness… I struggled to learn to talk while in my 'cute form', and I began to slowly plan my revenge… Although several people have gotten sick from that blasted fish, I will continue with my plan… Now prepare to die in a similar fashion as my brave comrades…"
Excel tilted her head and scratched the back of it. "Geez, talk about your angst fest! All you do is bitch, bitch, bitch! You guys are the ones who came to conquer Earth before my Lord Il Palazzo could, and you can't deal with losing the war?! Goddamn!"
The Puchuu twitched. "You dare mock me?!"
Watanabe coughed nervously. We began to wave his hands excitedly. "Um, I don't think it's a good idea to piss off the already pissed cute thing that's wearing a bomb!"
"Oh, relax!! It's just an empty threat!" Excel reassured him.
The Puchuu smiled. "Oh really?…" he pulled out a detonator.
Excel 'eeped'. Then she scratched the back of her head nervously. "Um… heh heh heh… It's just an empty threat still!"
The Puchuu laughed maniacally while pushing the detonator.
~~~
Cut to the outside of the plane. The plane suddenly exploded in a violent um, explosion…
~~~
Cut to the Will of the Macrocosm. "*sigh*… Not again… Oh well…" The story suddenly started at an earlier spot.
~~~
"Gyah!… Excel, where are your clothes… Where are my clothes!!"
Excel happily sighed. "Oh Il Palazzo…"
"Nnnnooooo!!!"
~~~
A few days later, on the plane…
~~~
Watanabe coughed nervously. We began to wave his hands excitedly. "Um, I don't think it's a good idea to piss off the already pissed cute thing that's wearing a bomb!"
"Oh, relax!! It's just an empty threat!" Excel reassured him.
The Puchuu smiled. "Oh really?…" he pulled out a detonator.
Excel 'eeped'. Then she scratched the back of her head nervously. "Um… heh heh heh… It's just an empty threat still!"
The Puchuu laughed maniacally while pushing the detonator. Nothing happened. The Puchuu stared at the detonator curiously. It wasn't there. "What? Where's the detonator? Where's my boom boom remote?…"
Iwata chuckled weakly, holding the detonator. "Sucker…" He suddenly turned very green and ran off to the restroom, hand over mouth.
Misaki smirked. "Hmm… He actually did something heroic… I take back a few of the things I've said about him…"
Excel suddenly jumped in and gave the Puchuu an 'Excel Punch', making the alien ugly again. Nabeshin, now free of the Puchuu's evil cuteness, ran over to the Puchuu, and karate chopped the Puchuu in the neck, knocking it out. "Excel!!" Nabeshin shouted. "You have to diffuse the bomb!"
Excel whimpered. "Why me?… Not this again…Why can't you do it?!"
"…I don't know how to diffuse that thing…"
"Grrr! Alright, fine! At least I'm not timed this time…" She gave in, looking at the bomb. "Now let's see… Which wire should I cut?…"
Il Palazzo vomited in his bag once again. "The… red one…"
"Alright! I, Excel Excel, will blindly agree with my Lord Il Palazzo and cut the red wire!" She announced, then cut the red wire. She flinched, and everyone else inhaled deeply. After about 10 seconds, she opened her eyes and everyone else exhaled deeply. "I-- I did it… It didn't blow up, yay! Excel is the bomb!!" Excel began to dance around as the others cheered.
Watanabe growled. "This isn't the time to celebrate… The plane has no pilot! I don't even know how we stayed up in the air this long!" All was silent for a few seconds, and everyone else screamed. They all ran to the cockpit and opened the door. They all raised an eyebrow as they saw Dr. Iwata, his nurse, and Dr. Kabapu taking care of things. Dr. Iwata looked back to them all and smiled. "I guess Norikuni forcing me to play this fighter jet video game when we were younger paid off…"
Misaki rubs her temples. "Once again, Iwata somehow saves us again…"
~~~
Meanwhile, in that part of the plane with peoples luggage and pets…
~~~
Menchi whimpered. Being in danger of being eaten was bad enough, but now Menchi was all alone… There was a sudden jolt, that sent Mechi flying around. A door opened and Menchi was sent flying to the Earth…
~~~
And so, everything calmed down. The Puchuu was kept in a cage so it wouldn't cause anymore trouble. Watanabe walked over to where Hyatt was sitting. "Hello, Ms. Ayasu--gyah!!" Watanabe screamed, slipping on some stray vomit. "Ow… Ew…"
Hyatt put a hand to her mouth. "Mr. Watanabe, are you okay?…"
Watanabe got up. "Yes… Messy, but okay… May I sit here and talk to you?…"
"Of course!" Hyatt smiled. "Anything to make up for my lack of lines in this motion picture…"
Watanabe sat down next to Hyatt. Excel had gone to tend to Il Palazzo elsewhere. "So, today was pretty crazy, wasn't it?…"
"Yes, it was quite exciting…"
"Ms. Ayasugi, did I ever tell you how innocent you were?… Um, not that that is a bad thing! It's very, um… cute!!"
Hyatt smiled. "Why thank you, Mr. Watanabe… And did I ever tell you how sweet you were?…"
"Well, um… Thank you…" Hyatt leaned over and gave Watanabe a quick kiss on the lips. He blushed heavily. "Ms. Ayasugi!…"
"Ugh…" a still green Iwata groaned. "I don't feel so good, Watanabe…"
"NNNOOOO!!! Stay away!!"
We go off screen to hear Iwata losing his lunch on poor Watanabe. "Nooo!"
~~~
Meanwhile, Excel was with Il Palazzo. "Oh Lord Il Palazzo, I wish you well…"
"Thank you… Excel…" Il Palazzo said weakly.
"Please forgive me!!!"
"…What?…"
"T'was I who while on a mission, accidentally contaminated the fish!!"
Il Palazzo stared hard at Excel, as a rope dropped down.
Excel's eyes widened. "Lord Il Palazzo!!… What are you doing?…"
He said nothing as he sent Excel falling to the ground from hundreds of feet up.
"Lord Il Palazzo!!! Please don't forsake meeeee…."
~~~
Fade to black. A title comes up. "The Amazing Funky Psychedelic Plane and a Yellow Submarine (Not appearing)". "Experiment…. Failed." But wait, where is Menchi?…
~~~
Meanwhile, in the ocean, Menchi smiled. After her cage was sent into the water, it floated on the water for a few hours. She was eventually found by an old friendly fisherman. Menchi's happiness was soon shattered as she saw Excel swimming at top speeds towards the boat. Menchi and the old man's eyes widened as Excel hit the boat head first, causing it to explode.
~~~
Il Palazzo looks out his window, and sees the explosion. "What a shame… This world is still as corrupt as always…"
Fade to black… Again...
~~~
The end credits roll…
~~~
We pan out to see Koshi Rikdo running from some angry audience members. Fade to black for the final time…
~~~
And there we go. Sorry if it wasn't funny enough. This was my first Excel Saga fan fic and I've been recently writing serious fanfics. Getting used to writing in one genre after writing in another is hard for me… Anyway, seeya all later!