Who Knew?

That first year, as we got to know each other, you really showed me the value of friendship. You and your brother's pranks would leave us laughing for hours. And then, whenever I needed you, there you were, with that cocky grin and a shoulder available if I wanted it. Friends forever, right? That's what you said. And I believed it.

You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around

I took your words and I believed

In everything you said to me

I always knew you were trouble. But I never would have believed you would die in the midst of a joke. Never. Friends forever. Love forever. Forever.

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

'Cuz they're all wrong

I know better

'Cuz you said forever

And ever

Who knew?

I miss the days of pranks and carefree laughter. When all of the younger kids would look at you and your brother with such awe. And all those girls who had crushes on the two of you! But I got the pleasure and privilege of your warm hugs and tender kisses, not them. I miss the feel of your hair between my fingers, the way you would just hold me when I needed you. Friends and lovers. We were both. I need that crazy red-headed friend of mine back, with all of my being.

Remember when we were such fools

And so convinced and just too cool

I wish I could touch you again

I wish I could still call you "friend"

I'd give anything

How could I have taken any of those precious moments for granted? HOW?! It never occurred to me that all of this could be ripped from me in an instant. I just assumed that friends forever meant friends into old age. Did you ever dream past the war? I did. And you were in those dreams.

When someone said "count your blessings now

'Fore there long gone"

I guess I just didn't know how

I was all wrong

They knew better

Still you said forever

And ever

Who knew?

You'll be there with me, your jokes spontaneously making me smile when I think of what you'd say in that situation. I can't wait to see you on the other side to joke about our friends and to pummel you for leaving me… How did this come to pass? How… why are you gone?

I'll keep you locked in my head

Until we meet again

I won't forget you, my friend

What happened?

Death always seemed so far off. What is it? Where has it taken you? I never would have expected to have to go through this.

I'll hold onto that last kiss before the battle. I'll remember how it felt, how happy and sure I was. And when I see you up in heaven, I'll return it. Your voice. Your face. The twinkle in your eyes. Your messy red hair. All of it. It's going fuzzy. Already, after only a short time. I see them all clearly when I dream, though. If I sleep, you laugh and your eyes practically sparkle as you say "I'm right here. Quit worrying."

I love you. I always will.

Who knew?

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

'Cuz they're all wrong and

That last kiss, I'll cherish

Until we meet again

And time makes it harder

I wish I could remember

But I keep your memory

You visit me in my sleep

My darlin'

Who knew?