Beautiful Goodbye

By: Nicole Lopez

Disclaimer: I do not own My So-Called-Life and any of the characters. If I did, it would've had at least six more seasons!!

Summary: Angela has finally come to terms with the fact that she and Jordan are over and she tries to deal with it. Can she cope? Or will she fall back into Jordan's arms?

Part One: Fed up with My Destiny

Jordan Catalano was the best thing that ever happened to me. Before him I was boring, ordinary, so naïve. And even those moments that he just looked at me, even for a second, made my entire existence worthwhile. He was everything that I could've ever wanted, but nothing is forever. Realistically, I know that now. Jordan and I were only biding our time. And so, we were in love, or at least I was, during my sophomore year in high school … he was all I could think about, dream about. I even failed advanced lit just so that I could be moved down to the same class he was. But it all ended …

My best friend slept with him and it took that for me to realize that maybe happily ever after didn't exist. Maybe I was doomed to be someone's used goods, someone's "could've been but never was." Rayanne, God I should've seen it coming. But, I didn't. And afterwards, I forgave her. How could I not? Rayanne was the one who had gotten me where I was, the one who had introduced me to Jordan and given me the confidence to even talk to him. So, I couldn't throw her out completely.

And when she came up with this brilliant idea that I date one of Ricky's cousins, I complied, not really into it, but knowing that anything was better than hopelessly thinking about Jordan all the time. But, Austin, was nothing like Jordan and he could never compare. And when I dated Dan, I came to the same conclusion …while he cheated on me … And I'm fed up with everything.

This is where I am now, with no one and nothing and still totally head-over-heels in love with Jordan Catalano. This is no longer just some teenage crush, but full-blown love.

Jordan Catalano's dating someone else now … probably a whole bunch of women since his band sky-rocketed into a semi-famous sensation. And I'm sure that when I saw that girl hanging on his arm with that rock on his finger … he gave it to her. And I'm sure that he's forgotten about me. It's just like fate to kick me when I'm down. There's just a part of me that needs to know something … I need to know if what we had was real for closure sake. I just can't walk away or let it go until I know …

(A/N: This song is based off of "Beautiful Goodbye" by Amanda Marshall. I danced to this song last year and completely love it and decided to write a short story based off of it. So, review, review, review and read "I Shouldn't Still Love You…" Thanks so much!!. –NL)

To Come ....

-- Angela starts to sink out of her depression

-- Jaded Chase comes to Boston

-- Rayanne tries to protect Angela from the truth