Everything went to the cottage last week, just a few bits & bobs on the desk to be packed. Reaching for the cotton wool, my fingers caress the familiar ridges of the spiral seashell, the chips & dings from knocking about on the desk over the years. I feel a bit like this old shell, battered & worn but still solid & reliable. Thinking back to the outing, of walking hand in hand into the sea, combing the beach for seashells at sunset, a turning point in my life, our life what happens next?
I put the shell into my pocket as I grab the small box with the few things left from my office. I turn off the light and I eagerly make my way home, home is no longer the Abbey. I see the lights on in our cottage and I can see you, my lovely wife, through the window. You look tired but pleased. My heart swells with joy as I approach our front door. I knock with my foot because my arms are holding the box filled with momentos and belongings from the Abbey. I'm greeted by your warm smile and a kiss to the cheek as you try to grab the box from my arms...
"No, no it's much too heavy for you, I'll just settle it here for now." Charles settles the box down on their kitchen table that has been casually set with dinner settings for two.
You help me remove my hat and coat while you ask me "Have you settled everything then? Tonight will be our first night in our new home Charles." You sang excitedly as you went to hang my jacket and we hear a clinking sound on the floor. We both look down and see it there at your feet. The sea shell we saved from that special day.
You bend down to pick up the object and rub it between your dainty fingers closing your eyes momentarily. I know you are thinking of the day that started it all.
" Suppose I never offered you my hand that day on the beach, Charles?" You bite on your bottom lip.
"Suppose a bomb goes off? Suppose we're hit by a falling star." I repeated the words you said to me that very same day on the beach. I would never forget that precious moment that changed our lives forever. "Don't be obscene, I can't conceive being without you." I hold out my hand as I walk toward you. You place the shell in it but it is not the shell I'm asking for.
I love to touch you. I love to hold you and I'm grateful that we can finally be together. I can feel your warm body shiver under my hands as I gently place them on your hips. I can hear your breath catch as I pull you closer to me. It feels good to hold you tightly. Your heart beat pounding against mine is invigorating. I can feel myself flush as I see you closing your eyes anticipating the sweetest of kisses. You open your mouth ever so slightly and your hot breath warms my mouth as I bring my lips to touch yours, I can barely speak when you are this close to me but I need to tell you, I need you to know, "I love you Elsie, I always have and I always will."