It was a Friday night, and Kyle Broflovski was asleep. He had crawled into the makeshift bed on the floor of his bedroom, which he constructed out of the clothes he was previously wearing and some of his old stuffed animals. His real bed still existed and was as a matter of fact right next to his makeshift one. It was the final day for exams at South Park High, and now Kyle was too mentally exhausted to even attempt to put in the effort required to sleep in his bed (which really only included having to make the bed once he woke up). Kyle slept among the unkempt teddy bears and sour scented clothes with his body positioned crookedly. His arms were splayed out vertically and his legs had gone into a horizontal position, making Kyle appear as if he was performing a split in his sleep. His head twisted slightly as he lay in his "bed" and dreamt about….

Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.

Everything here was red. If there were any objects at all, he could not tell. The red he saw was continuous and monotonous, different shades could not be found.

Kyle cautiously made his way through wherever he was.

Something stopped him in his tracks.

It was a picture of Stan with his football jersey on, Stan was smiling triumphantly as the sun beamed down in the background illuminating the stadium seats behind him. The picture was meticulously placed in front of wherever Kyle moved. He would try to walk around the picture, but it remained in front of his feet.

An iron nail appeared in Kyle's palm, and no sooner did he feel its cold did the red begin to flood all around him, threatening to suffocate him in bright color.

Kyle knew what had to be done.

He jammed the nail through the upper part of the picture of Stan and then carefully aligned the nail with a piece of the red.

He plunged the nail into the red….

"GIRL IF YOU'RE WONDERING IF I WANT YOU TO, I WANT YOU TO!"

Kyle's cell phone rang loudly from his pants' pocket which was currently serving as his pillow. Kyle woke up abruptly, springing from his makeshift bed unsteadily and plummeting back down towards it unceremoniously. After recovering from the fall, Kyle reached into his pillow and answered his cell.

"Hello?" Kyle said with his raspy just-woke-up voice.

"KYLENATOR!!! WHERE ARE YOU? THIS PARTY IS INSSSANNNNNE."

It was Stan, clearly drunk. Kyle could tell because whenever Stan was drunk, he was also deafening.

"Stan? Where are you?" Kyle yawned and rubbed his eyes. What time was it? How long had he been asleep? Kyle scanned his pitch black room until his eyes found the numbers on the clock blinking a deep green. 6:00 AM.

"Stan it's 6:00 AM." Kyle mentioned it to Stan casually, assuming that in Stan's drunken state time really didn't matter.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE DUDE. I JUST GOT HEREEEEEEYEAHHHHH!" Stan yelled into the cell phone and Kyle cringed at the sound.

"Kyle? Kyle? Is this you?" A familiar girl's voice came through Stan's cell.

"Hey Wendy, yeah this is me." Kyle stood up and proceeded to turn the lights on in his room. He guessed that he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep.

He guessed right.

"Kyle, could you do me a BIG favor? Could you come get Stan? Pretty pink confetti please? He's really plastered and I totally have a student council meeting at like, 7."

"AM?" Kyle inquired as he put on his pants and struggled getting his arms through his orange jacket.

"Duh!" Wendy laughed airily. "You're so cute when you play dumb."

Play dumb, Kyle thought. Right.

"Anyways, could you make it quick? I think he needs to puke and my floors are carpeted, Kyle. So please, please cherry on top get here okay-sies? Love you, Bro." Wendy had been calling Kyle "bro" ever since the 8th grade. She thought it would be a "cute nickname" since Kyle's last name began with the word. Kyle hated it but every time he brought up eradicating its use, Wendy looked like she was about to cry glittering tears.

Literally, glittering.

"Yeah sure, be there soon Wendy." Kyle hung up and stumbled through his bedroom door. Some parts of his brain seemed to still be stuck in sleep mode.

Kyle stealthily came down the stairway and quietly opened the front door. He closed and locked it just as silently.

Kyle started the walk to Wendy's house; the weather outside was average. It wasn't blazing hot, nor was it freezing cold. As Kyle made his way down different streets and across various intersections, he thought about why he didn't go to parties.

Stan had a Kyle. Kenny had a whoever Kenny was dating at the time. Cartman had somebody blackmailed.

Who did Kyle have to come pick him up if he got wasted at a party? Even though Kyle never planned on drinking to the point he was reverted back to an infant state, it still felt strange to realize that even if he ever did he wasn't sure who Wendy would be using his cell phone to call.

When Kyle approached the house, he saw Stan's car parked outside. He knocked on Wendy's door three times in succession.

She swung open the door, smiling. Kyle glanced at her outfit. She was wearing a black tank top that was sporadically covered in shining plastic diamonds. Some spots on the top were empty, only showing a faint outline of glue. Her jean shorts were waaaay above her knees and were decorated with the word "Ferocious" in giant, deep blue lettering that started at the left hip of the shorts and ended at the right. Her hair was tangled and messy, and Kyle swore that an olive fell out of it when she opened the door. She wasn't wearing any kind of shoes, so her chipped pink toenail polish was clearly visible. Her violet plastic nails that were resting on the door's knob were chipped as well. Wendy's neck was covered in multiple hickeys, and the hickey pattern was repeated near the bottom of her shorts.

Kyle got a feeling Wendy got laid last night.

And where was he? Oh that's right. Sleeping on top of a bundle of the same outfit he had on now and a few of his stuffed animals.

"So glad you came, Bro!" Wendy hugged Kyle unexpectedly. Kyle was wary of the embrace, when Wendy was this touchy feely she usually wanted him to do more than she asked him for originally.

"Where's St-"Kyle didn't get to finish. Stan came barreling out of Wendy's house, pushing the two embracing to the wayside.

Wendy let go of Kyle to scoff at Stan.

"Rude." Wendy stared at Stan viciously.

"Sorry Wendy….just….puked…..on carpet….didn't mean to…" Stan burped and covered his mouth with his hand.

Wendy's face drained of color. Her skin went as blank as a sheet of copy paper.

Wendy curtly waved a goodbye at Kyle and slammed her door.

Kyle heard her screams on the other side.

"Let's go. I think Wendy's about to turn into the She-Hulk." Kyle dragged Stan by his arm towards Stan's car. Kyle opened the passenger door and pushed Stan inside. Kyle got into the driver's seat and held out his hand for Stan's keys.

Stan handed over his keys and closed his eyes, making a low moaning sound as he did.

"You hurt?" Kyle asked as he started up the car.

"Nah. Dude, that was awesome. Where were you?" Stan kept his eyes closed.

Kyle ignored the question and backed out of Wendy's driveway.

"Stan you do realize that this party probably ended hours ago?" Kyle checked his rearview mirror. "Why'd you stay so long?"

"Dunno, maybe I was just born to party man." Stan slurred and coughed. "You still a virgin?"

"Totally appropriate Stan. Totally appropriate." Kyle continued to drive Stan back to Stan's house. He considered his situation. He was driving a drunken Stan home yet again. He knew he'd have to lie to Stan's parents and probably his parents too about where they'd been. Out to study the morning habits of some unique made up tree frog? His parents would buy that. And he needed Stan to….search for that made up tree frog. That made up tree frog was so damned elusive! Kyle sighed. He was honestly tired of this.

Stan was already asleep when Kyle checked on him. He decided that a conversation with a sleeping Stan would pretty much be the same as a conversation with a drunken one. He kept his focus on the road and let the words tumble out of him.

"Stan, I'm going to change. Do you hear me Stan? I'm tired of being your chauffeur because you can't control yourself. I'm tired of being the guy with all the grades and none of the girls, Stan. I'm tired of being-"

Stan started to snore.

Kyle broke. He honked the car's horn.

Stan did not stir.

Kyle was now even more determined. Next time Kyle Broflovski wouldn't be asleep.