Tsuzuki lay back against the trunk of a Sakura tree watching the blossoms sway in the light breeze.
He sighed and arched his back slightly, loosening taught muscles, trying to relax.
Hisoka had been irritable all morning, snapping at him every so often, not that he minded, usually. But today it had just gotten too much and so he had decided to take a break outside
He'd only been back at work for a couple of weeks after Kyoto and he still felt… well… odd. It was almost as though he was watching everything happen through someone else's eyes. Like a movie.
Everyone was treating him differently now. The newer staff who had never seen him fall before seemed unsure of how to talk to him, nervous around him to some extent. He just wanted them to trust him again.
Konoe and Tatsumi were different as well, more gentle, stopping their harsh words before they spoke them. Thinking before they addressed him. He knew that they were just trying to ease him back, make sure that they didn't upset him, but he wasn't made of glass or china. He wouldn't break that easily…
He toyed with the watchstrap on his right wrist.
Would he?
Tatsumi had taken over his field duties and Tsuzuki was grateful for that if nothing else. He didn't think he could take another life right now. Perhaps they were right to wrap him in cotton wool and treat him as gently as Muraki treated his favourite porcelain doll.
Tsuzuki shuddered. He knew all too well how Muraki treated his favourite dolls and he did not want to think about it. He had kept it hidden inside him what Muraki had done, buried deep amongst other horrid memories that he would never leave unguarded. Even Hisoka would never reach them with all his empathy. He never needed to know that they were more alike than he thought.
The sickly smell of cinnabons roused Tsuzuki's attention and he turned his head.
"Tatsumi?"
"I thought you might be hungry." Tatsumi said and sat himself, cross-legged on the ground beside Tsuzuki.
"Thank you." Tsuzuki smiled and leant closer to Tatsumi, resting his head on the brown suited shoulder. They sat like that for a long while in companionable silence before Tatsumi cleared his throat and spoke.
"Shall I feed it to you Tsuzuki-san?"