Chapter 1
I looked around the town, a town I had spent the best years of my life. Everything was the same, but yet I had changed, my life was so different from what I imagined. There was a time in my life when I was loved, respected, and had a life. I ruined it all, traded it all in for a life that all my friends looked down upon, it all happened the day my dad died.
Flash Back:
I sat in my black hole, my room. I stared, nothing in particular caught my attention, but staring was all I could do. I lost the last parent I had, and for what? I asked him to drive to the store for ice cream, because I was too lazy to get it myself.
"Peyton, talk to me," Brooke, my best friend, tried to get through to me. She loved me, but she wasn't the one I wanted to see. So instead of responding I stared.
"I love you P-Sawyer, and need you in my life." I blinked long and turned only my eyes in her direction. She got the point and stood to leave. "I'll be downstairs when you want to talk."
I was left alone again, waiting for the one person who I could escape to. "Hey." Right on cue the next best friend walked in, but he was who I wanted to see. "Look I know that you must be hurting, but it will get better, believe me, when Keith died I didn't know what I would do."
I stood and laid on the bed. "I have lost three parents, Luke, three. I love you, but I know how this whole thing works, a lot more than you do. It's just that he promised me that he would never leave me." I hadn't cried, but I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I willed them back.
"I'm sorry, it just breaks my heart to see you like this. What can I do for you?" I grabbed him and pulled him on top of me. I felt his warm body on me, and tasted his sweet lips. The lips I had long to kiss since we had stopped seeing each other. He was my soul mate, and I wanted him so bad. My hands traveled all over his body, and then he jumped up, and backed away towards the door.
"What Luke? I don't bite."
"I love Brooke."
"Sure, but you said anything I need, and I need you. And want you."
"Peyton, we are friends, and I want to help you heal, but not at the expense of my girlfriend, and your best friend." He walked out of the room, before anything else could be said.
I stepped through the door of my house, a house I abandoned so long ago. It looked run down and dusty, but I didn't care, because I was tired, my bed was calling my name. I fell under the covers and slept for hours.
When I woke up, I was surprised to remember where I was. I never knew where I was when I woke up; it must have been the drugs, or all the different men. That's right I'm not perfect, everyone looks down on me because of my choices, but when I don't like the choices of others, I can't look down on them, its not fair. I grabbed a CD from the nightstand, Fall Out Boy, and autographed. My fingers traced the album cover; the one I had drawn for them, well really for Pete. I suddenly remembered what I need the CD for and grabbed a vile from my bag on the floor. Seeing the white powder made me grin, because I knew the high I was about to get. I could taste it, and it was sweet. At first, it was hard to do, but once you got hooked it was nice, an escape from reality.
When it finally hit me, I was energized once again, and knew that sleep wouldn't come again for weeks. I traveled downstairs, looking for a drink, but it had been five years and dad never drank. So I went to a familiar club, Tric. Hopping that the only person I might run into was Karen, but I wasn't that lucky.