GAYPHOBIA

Rating: pg-13 for swearing, mild violence, shounen-ai and all that Lemon-y stuff I really love… guess this serves as some kind of warning too or something…

Disclaimer: me no own weiss. So shut it with all the suing crap.

a/n: WHAT? Pg-13! – Or so my readers would most probably exclaim. I mean, yeah! This is the first time I'm going to write a pg-13 shounen-ai fic! Hooray for the renewed person! I just hope it's not too bad and all that…please review and help me get out of my insanity bouts! Suggestions and comments totally accepted! I need support for this so-called pg-13 shounen-ai thing! (Christ, that's like so many hyphens in a phrase.) HELP!

CHAPTER I: YOJI'S BAD IDEA

Summary: ken is set up on a blind date with… schuldig! There's only one problem – ken's not gay.

8

"Ken, good news!" Ken turned to see his best friend walk in through the doors of the Koneko. Suave and poised with an I'm-your-most-envied-supermodel kind of aura – Balinese.

"Hey, Kudouh! What's up?" the chocolate-haired assassin smiled. Yoji and good news just didn't seem to mix. He wondered what the other's so happy about now.

Yoji folded his arms and put on a you're-so-lucky-I'm-alive grin and said, "Simple! I set you up on a blind date."

…

…

…

WHAT

THE

FUCK.

So much for friendship.

"What the hell did you do that for!" Ken screamed in frustration at his so-called best friend. "I don't need to be set up and all that crap! Especially to someone I have NEVER SEEN BEFORE!"

Yoji just kept on smiling. "What's wrong with you? No, what's wrong with what I've done? I'm, like, even doing you a favor or something, you know…"

"This – is – NOT – a – favor!" Ken's eyes narrowed. "If you're trying to rub it in, this is certainly almost the best way." It had been just a few months when some blonde chick busted Ken's ass during their date for commenting on her choice of lipstick. And it was kind of hard on the little guy. What, with him salivating over her for days…only to end up with a sore ass!

"…I mean, you kind of NEED this, my friend…"

"WHAAAT!"

"Admit it." Yoji pressed on, as if his suggestion was the only solution that could save Ken's shriveled soul. "You have a DYING SEX LIFE!"

That did it. "I'M STILL A HUMPING MAN!" Ken bellowed, face as red as tomato paste.

It took all of Yoji's strength not to snicker. But he did anyway. "See? No one says 'humping man' anymore, Siberian. Yeah…you're really in dire need of Grade A meat."

Ken could not believe he thought of this man as his best friend just minutes ago. He felt as if his heart was crushed, blended and pureed. He sighed in defeat.

"Tut tut!" Yoji comforted him, throwing the flowers Ken had been choking in rage a while ago at a busy Omi's direction, and added, "Don't worry, Ken-ken! I chose this one myself and I know someday you'll be thanking me for opening your eyes to a whole new reality…" There was a suspicious glint in Yoij's eye but… maybe that was just a tear of joy or something.

Yoji took off Ken's apron and led him out of the shop. "C'mon, we have a lot to prepare for!" Just as they were about to step out of the store, a VERY PISSED AYA stopped them. "Where do you think you're going?"

Yoji pouted, shoving Aya gently away. "None of your beeswax, O fearless leader…"

"There's a store that needs attending to, flowers that need tending to and two of us that needs some friggin' helping!" Aya hollered. "And here you are, going out to please some psycho Yoji probably just met in some freakin' whorehouse!"

"Move outta my way, Aya…" Ooooh, Yoji sounded so strong here. "…before I tell Ken here how adorably tight that sweet little – "

"WHAT? SWEET LITTLE WHAT! WHAT SWEET LITTLE WHAT'S TIGHT!" A very veiny-necked Abysinnian was now brandishing his shiny katana, and threatening Yoji-kun, who replied with a gulp. Okay…so he's not very open about our little one-night stand…I understand… What, with him being a first-timer and all that…

"Hehehe…" Yoji grinned apologetically. "Sweet little hug-a-bear of yours…" He turned to Ken and grabbed his arm. "RUUUN, KEEEEEEEEEEN!" Quickly, the two disappeared out of Aya's sight, who later on calmed down, grunted and crept away.

Tbc/

a/n: so whatcha think? Dontcha think that cute little button looks so good to press? Huh? Huh? Huh? Hehe p.s. I don't even know if I'ma continue with this thing... so please. Motivate me.