F*** me if I'm wrong but I think you want to read this story. (and review and follow it and follow me...) :D

A/N: This story is meant to be fun, so don't take it too seriously. I don't know how long it's going to be, probably about 3-6 chapters. It is going to be from Emma's point of view! Some thoughts might be confusing, random or/and disorganized but that's probably supposed to be. Disorganized thoughts of the one and only Miss Swan are mostly written in italics.

This was just information-wise.

So I hope you enjoy this story! Tell me what you think; tell me if you wish for improvement (concerning grammar, style, whatever else) or if you think that it's actually funny and not just desperately trying to be, etc. etc. ...

I would love to read some reviews :)

SOOOO HERE IT IS:

Drunks speak the truth

Emma's POV

I woke up on a Saturday with a bitter taste of alcohol and regret in my mouth. I tossed in bed and found the former to my left. An open bottle of whiskey lay on the ground and its content had been emptied. Secretly wishing that I hadn't drunk it all by myself, I looked to my right this time. I let out a stream of air when staring at a dark brown mess of hair tangled across the other half of my bed. This was where I apparently found the latter... regret.

At the sight of the woman in my bed two thoughts were popping up in my head. Shit and at least I hadn't been drinking alone.

I fell out of my bed with a thud once I tried to reach for my phone at the bed stand. The brunette who seemed slightly dead proved to be alive as she growled a little at my contact with the ground. After five minutes of awkwardly trying to lift myself up I slipped into a shirt and a pair of jeans and finally managed to stand straight. However I had serious problems with balancing myself and remaining to stand at two feet instead of just one.

My legs miraculously dragged me towards the bathroom taking along various things that were scattered around the floor – most of all clothes though. Every time my foot hit an immovable object two almost simultaneous groans filled the air. One muffled by pillows and the other – speaking of mine – was always followed by a loud "Fuck", "Damn", "Stupid *insert object name here*".

I sat down on the toilet and peed while happily humming the sound of a song I had never even heard before. It probably was my own interpretation of a remix of "I just had sex" and "hangover". Not to hype me or anything but the mash-up didn't even sound all too bad.

I stood in front of the sink by now taking a closer look of my face in the mirror and somehow feeling old. Especially the muscles in my right arm hurt and I couldn't quite shake the feeling that my fingers of that very arm felt as if someone had been sitting on them for a while. I looked around the bathroom in search of my electric toothbrush but was unable to locate it. It's probably somewhere in my room, I thought to myself while brushing my hair slowly using my left arm for that matter and trotted off.

And all of a sudden it hit me like a freaking hard brick to the head. Well my brush literally hit me because of hysterically moving it through my hair once really realizing what I had done. What the hell? I had fucking fucked with a woman! Oh god.

I stood in the middle of the room with the brush stuck halfway in my unruly blonde locks. My eyes scanned the room for a brown mane but found nothing. Where the hell did she go? Was it even a "she"? Oh fuck, maybe it was some weird heavy metal guy with shoulder-long hair and a jesus-like beard and slippers. Just no… I thankfully spotted more than one bra in the mess of clothes. God yes... it was a woman! I wiped away some sweat that lingered on my forehead.

Although being not able to recall what had happened the night prior and kind of freaking out about it, I still felt quite confident and good of having apparently slept with someone, who was for god sake shaved for once. At least that's what I hoped for. Another trip to the enchanted forest or any bushy forest in particular just wouldn't do me. I felt fortunate to be out of there even if the sleeping beauty was good to look at once in a while. Mulan was more the type of cutting through untouched territory anyway… I mean landscape wise of course.

I spotted my toothbrush somewhere between the sheets and couldn't really form coherent thoughts about it. It was all dripping wet when I touched it and I almost immediately junked it away again. Well I guess I need a new toothbrush.

After that little incident, I quickly hurried down the steps taking two at a time. I considered it a miracle for me to not trip and fall down those idiotic steps. Mary-Margaret, Snow, Mum and David, James, Charming, Dad [what the fuck is his name anyways?!] sat across from each other at the dining table. MM was smiling as she lovingly poked David's nose. In those very weird and way too slushy moments I internally screamed "GET A ROOM" while really only shifting my feet in an utterly awkward way and wrestling for appropriate words to say.

I cleared my throat loud enough for them to get a few centimeters away from each other and they actually paid attention right away. "Well that was easy" I mumbled inaudible to myself before addressing them. When speaking I sounded breathy and at the edge of losing it, almost as if I had been screaming and yelling all through the night. Oh god… I guess it really happened…

"Have you seen someone walk by or out of the apartment like two minutes ago?"

They looked at me visibly confused but Snow answered me pretty fast. "Well Ruby and Belle had been here." I furrowed my brows and felt as if some remaining alcohol was just now making its way to my brain.

"Ruby AND Belle?" I still sounded definitely husky and after emphasizing "and" my voice cracked even more. My parents – it was still so weird to call them that, especially considering that they were almost as old as me – locked eyes for a moment looking quite concerned. Charming finally decided to reply.

"Yeah sure. You wanted them to stay overnight so I guess they did." He smiled at me when saying that. I figured it'd be best to act as if I somehow had all my questions answered although being all mushy and dizzy in the head. It had probably just been Ruby and Belle thus I needed to find them. Getting answers from the girls was definitely better than talking to oblivious parents who apparently didn't even know what a hangover even was… although MM had had that "thing" with ... and they had been in bed together when Henry and I… Oh whatever!

"Right thanks. I guess ... I mean um... I have to go."

I was already putting on my shoes and coat when my dad caught up to me leaving MM in the living room. He put on a cheeky grin and laid a strong hand on my shoulder. My green eyes locked with his blue ones before he decided to talk again.

"If you see the pirate, tell him that his hook is here."

My jaw simply and thoroughly dropped at that. After what felt like an eternity of letting my tongue out to dry I managed to reply. "What? Why?" My voice seemed of course shocked and was therefore an octave higher than usually.

"I thought you wanted to go." He answered quickly and so smugly while smirking all the while and I knew that this couldn't be good news. I was just hoping that they hadn't had a fling even if that was somehow obvious... at least to me. I didn't honestly want to know what "hook" he was exactly talking about anyways... it was probably code for something... Ugh no. I'm definitely not going there.

"Well... yeah... um... see you then."

This was so freaking awkward and completely disgusting. I felt like puking for a moment but shoved the feeling back in my stomach before letting it get too overwhelming. I rushed out of the apartment shutting the door behind me and leaned back against it while deeply inhaling. The relaxing of my shoulders showed my relief of finally making my way out of there.

I decided to go to Granny's in an instant being quite sure to find at least Ruby in the diner. Right after exiting the house though I crashed into someone at the steps. My stomach's contents swirled and my brain felt slightly squished yet again. I had to literally scratch myself off of the ground before looking into deep brown eyes that sparkled with anger and fury and yet they were giving me so much loving... I mean loathing of course.

"Miss Swan" The mayor hissed with a slight up tilt of her lips and a dark raspy voice. "Next time you better watch out" She looked me up and down, taking in every centimeter of my body while I was doing the same.

"Um sorry… I… really didn't… I mean" I obviously didn't know what to say because of getting lost in her eyes. No. Wait. That's not true. Fighting for words was just a feature of mine. Duh.

"Feel free to close your mouth. Your breath isn't all too inviting. Have you ever heard of a toothbrush?" She inspected my mouth for quite a long time before locking eyes with me again. Her ever-present smirk seemed overly flirty today. Or wasn't it always? Oh god. I'm so mushy in the head. It's JUST the after-effect of the alcohol… for sure.

My lips snapped shut immediately and I seemed to only notice their dryness in that particular moment. I wetted them by sliding my tongue tentatively and teasingly over them while gazing into pools of chocolate. Oh such sweet and good-looking chocolate. I want a fucking taste of it. I took a step forward still staring into those longing eyes that were now lighting up with my motions. My eyes seemed to sparkle in surprise when I was seeing her gulp and looking at my lips for a brief second.

"I did actually use my toothbrush… but between a different pair of lips."

This time it was her turn to struggle for words. The brunette gulped even harder this time and looked shocked for a moment before putting on her – "I'm an evil regal, you bastard" – smile. After what felt like forever she finally spoke up again in an unaffected manner.

"I honestly don't know what you are trying to accomplish Miss Swan."

I chuckled lightly before moving even closer so that our faces were being mere inches away from each other and our breaths were slightly touching each other's skins. I didn't know why I felt the urge to move forward and honestly didn't even want to know. My voice was incredibly low once I started mumbling and I almost lost it halfway.

"Oh Gina don't be so uptight. I'm just joking." I grinned at her sheepishly and could have bet that her shoulders seemed to slacken. Her facial expression remained queenly though when she took a step back. I didn't quite know why but I felt somehow frustrated by her pulling away.

"Okay firstly for you it is still Mayor or Miss Mills and secondly this charade is highly inappropriate. I suppose this conversation is over. I hope you are satisfied Sheriff." Her eyes darted over my body before catching my eyes again. She sounded kind of annoyed but I could still make out some musing and tempting in her way of pronouncing the words.

"Yes I'm totally satisfied." I winked at her after saying that and made a tiny pause before continuing teasingly. "Regina" My voice was so hoarse then. This one word was almost soundless.

She turned on her heel leaving me all by myself and muttered the most surprising words ever. "Goodbye Emma." In that moment I just wished that I could have seen her face and especially her eyes.

She fucking said Emma. I mean what the hell? I think I'm getting a girl boner if that actually exists. I ...um… Wait what?! No. That's not happening. Shit. Forget it. It's inappropriate. I think I'm going mental. Where was I even going to? Oh yeah heading to the diner.

So what do you say? :)