SeidoTama Chapter 1: Prolouge:Samurai Don't Like How Skanks R, a gintama fanfic

Seidoutama

Prolouge: Samurai Don't Like How Skanks Rear Children

Authors note: Hey, I came up with this idea when my friend made me watch this after she bought the DVD, it sounded dumb. And then. I was in love with it after the first episode. I asked her what would our lives be if we lived there and this was her answer.

I also decided that Sougo was twelve when he joined the Shinsengumi, so that would make Hiromasa three years younger than him.

Also, I spelled everyone's names according to the Gintama Wiki.

Ps. I do not own Gintama or anything affiliated with it. If you want to send me some money for it go for it if it's not illegal I'm a pretty broke college student and part- time Walmart Associate.

Prologue:

Approximately 9 years ago…

It was a gloomy night. Fog covered most of the land, blocking out the pale full moon. There was a chill in the air which was strange for the second month of summer. The samurai compound lay just outside of the city limits on a sprawling piece of land. In the distance, you can start to see the new lights of the invaders Amanto's lights from their strange machines. A very short figure staggered, her threadbare cloak barely sheltering her from the icy breeze that seemed the rip into her flesh and settle down into her bones. The figure fell in front of the gate by the compound unable to go on anymore.

Moments later, a tall man in a navy kimono and hakamas stepped out to go start his patrol on the new city when he noticed a figure slumped over. With a foolish grin but tense body that was ready for a fight, Kondou Isa strolled over to the figure. It was a child! A passed out little girl with limp, curly, brown hair, and a dirt smudged face. Gingerly, he shook her shoulder, in a fruitless effort to rouse her. Fear struck the samurai's heart as he feared the worst. Taking the child in his arms, he brought her into the barracks.

"Oi! Kondou-san you're not skipping out on your job, again are you?" A black-haired man muttered around a tooth pick.

A shorter, younger man—still almost a boy, poked the dark-haired man. "Don't question Kondou, dumbass."

Kondou brushed past his subordinates, ignoring them. "Where's Honda!" the Commander of the Shinsengumi shouted. The samurai lounging around were alarmed by their usually goofy leader's serious demeanor. That was when Hijikata Toshirou and Sougo Okita noticed the child that Kondo was holding.

A very sharp featured man in a red kimono and hakamas strode into the room from the kitchen, having heard the shouting. "Did you hurt yourself again, Kondou?" Honda Riichi adjusted his glasses. His smile quickly faded as he noticed the unconscious girl. Going into doctor mode, Honda ordered his leader to lay her in the infirmary on the first cot.

The infirmary was a large, plain room with several cots, that were thankfully empty besides for one member who had a broken leg after trying out an Amanto vehicle called a "skate board." If there was anything Honda was grateful for the Amanto deciding to come to this planet, was the modern technology. Honda heard of some of the Western world's medicine and he was happy that his country's medicine was better than that! He had heard through the grapevine, that some of those savages thought that cutting an ill person open and letting them bleed would heal them. But the Amanto's technology could save people from diseases and wounds that were formerly fatal.

The child was in bad condition, Honda checked the child's vitals as Kondou explained where he found her. The healer wondered where she came from. Could her parents have been killed by rogue ronin? The bandits have stopped looting as much since the end of the Amanto war. But there is still some lurking around which is why the Shinsengumi has increased its patrols, despite being very recently formed.

But there would time to figure that out later, right now the child needed urgent care. She had a fever, was extremely malnourished and had several gashes— some of which were infected. It was going to be a long night. "Get me a cool cloth, now!" The medic ordered to one of his assistants. He turned to the large group that have gathered in front of the door way. "Get out of here! I need space to do my work." The group of Samurai shrank away. Kondou lingered the longest before eventually fading with the rest. Honda was usually very reserved but he turned domineering when there was a patient to be treated. Pressing the cool cloth against the child's forehead, he murmured reassuringly to her, "It's going to be all right, child."

After the medic stabilized the girl, he left to let her rest. There was not anything more he could do now. When he came back around midnight he found Kondou sitting in the corner watching her sleep, dark circles under his brown eyes. The infirmary was dark, only the now clear moon shinned in as the only light.

A piece of paper clutched in his hairy hand. "You're worried about the girl, Kondou-san." Honda noted. "She'll be fine."

Kondou frowned, murderous hatred glittered in his eyes, as he stroked his goatee. "Read this." Honda swallowed. It was unnatural for the gorilla man to be this serious for such a long time. "I found it in her cloak." Honda took it from him. The note was written in perfect Japanese, with incredibly elegant brush strokes—however one could clearly see origins of madness in its author.

Honda read it out loud.

To Whomever finds this whelp,

Her name is Hiromasa. She might be too stupid to tell you. If you want her take her if you want or if not I recommend selling her to the nearest brothel. That was originally my plan but Kenniku decided he wanted to start his vacation early. So, I left her on the road. She's a very dumb, useless, and impolite child, but if you decide to keep her she is good at doing the laundry. I could not stand to keep such an ungrateful child anymore. She kept asking for food even though I fed her an entire bowl of rice every other day. She doesn't appreciate that I am trying to keep her thin so the men will want her. I don't understand why the gods would curse me with such an awful child. Not to mention she ruined my figure by having to carry her for nine months! I was fat for an entire nine months! Ugh.

Ps.

If she gets mouthy just crack her a couple times with a whip. That usually shuts her up.

Sincerely,

Honda's mouth dropped. He could not believe anyone would write this about a child let along their own. He had his suspicions when her kimono was such poor quality and the marks on her back but he did not want to believe it. "What are you going to do with her Kondou-san?" He adjusted his glasses with his finger. "Are you going to give her over to the authorities in the morning?"

Before the Shinsengumi leader could respond, as he opened the door there was a large crash! Hijikata and Sougo fell into the room. Jumping to his feet, Hijikata was yelling at the same time as Sougo was. "She is staying with us." and "You can't hand her over!"

With flames in his eyes Honda dragged both officers by their ears into the hallway. Kondou followed, acting like a civilized human. If the situation had been less grave, Honda might have teased him about how learning manners is impressive for a jungle creature. "My patient is resting!" there a terrifying dark anime shroud around the medic. That disappeared when the men nodded, most would have been shaking in their sandals. But not these two– they were both much too pompous for that. The Shinsengumi officers nodded, grudgingly, they might have argued but they felt badly about almost disturbing the child's healing process.

Kondou pushed their heads together with a crack. "What do you take me for!" he growled, "She's my daughter now." He holds a fist up in the air in a fist pump. "We're going to train her to be a member of the Shinsengumi and fight for justice!" Hijikata cracked his knuckles in a pleased manner and Sougo nodded.

"Now that were finished with that. All of you leave." Honda pushed the men down the hallway. "None of you are going to be any use to her if you die of exhaustion." He said in a much gentler tone.

The next morning Hiromasa stirred, sunlight in her face. "W-where am I?" She mumbled rubbing her eyes. She shifted noticing that she felt better than usual, but still a bit stiff. She thought maybe she had gotten another beating and blacked out– but that did not explain why this room was larger (and cleaner) then her mother's most recent purchase. Then the memories started to flood back at her.

Saiko, a short woman, that was dressed so scantily that she would have make made harlots blush, was driving a rented wagon with a small pony. Hiromasa had been surprised when the wagon stopped on a random alley, almost causing her to lose her balance. The child was perched precariously on the edge of the wagon, because most of it was over flowing with her mom's giant bags of clothes, shoes, jewelry, and a few years' supply of food. Hiromasa's one small bag was at her side. "Mom- did you need to make a rest stop?" Hiromasa inquired.

It was unusual for Saiko to take any breaks when she was meeting up with her foul lover Kenniku—a fat, unpleasant man that drank too much and often beat on Saiko and her child. Hiromasa despised him but, at least he had sent money for her mother and her to move in with him in his family's estate in a foreign country called England, specifically a place called Whitechapel.

It would be nice to get away from the latest rat infested hovel that her mother recently rented, after being kicked out of the last one because Saiko decided that buying herself a new kimono was more important than paying rent. "Li Xiangjun has one just like it." Saiko giggled to Sakura, a semi pretty, but incredibly trashy woman who one of their neighbors in the most recent slum they called home. If Hiromasa remembered correctly Li-san was one of the famous Courtesans on the mainland, and her mother's current fashion icon. By next week she'll pick another. Secretly Hiromasa wished the Chinese woman was Saiko's role model because at least Li Xiangjun had a taste for the arts, unlike her mother who always laughed at her for having an ambition to draw and learn to play instruments. But because Saiko often decided to buy frivolous things instead of paying for rent, they were constantly moving from one town to another because the land lords in that area would recognize Saiko and refuse to rent to her.

"Here's your stop Hiromasa." Saiko twisted her bright painted lips at her offspring.

"Wha- But we haven't even left Edo yet?" She mumbled, nervously blinking.

Shaking her head, Saiko sneered, "You didn't really think you would go on living with us, did you?" She laughed. It was not a pleasant laugh; it was more of a nasally, cackling sound. Saiko. always had loved how naïve the whelp was. 'It's like on her birthday she always falls for me telling her about the new, shiny, nice things I "Got her" and she had only gotten her rocks or one of myold used ratty tabis.'

Hiromasa knew her mother well enough to know that when she laughed it as almost never anything good—at notfor her. "Well… Yes. It's a family home."

"Ugh. You really think you're good enough to be family?" She snorted. "You're such a dumb whelp. Hopefully this'll teach you not to be such a needy bitch."

The girl tried to fight the tears in her eyes, it was always hard when her mother got like this. She was so upset that she barely noticed when Saiko pinned a note to her cloak. Hiromasa wondered what she had done wrong now. Her mom was in such a good mood this morning, she even let Hiromasa have a dumpling for breakfast. 'What could I have possibly done now?'

Growing bored of watching the child's suffering, Saiko stood up, wobbling from how high the heels on her new shoes were. She still was not used to them; she had only recently discovered "Stilettos" Some of the other Amanto brought them from their home planet. She was upset that her mother raised her on a planet without such great things like that. 'That reminds me… I need to phone mom tonight and ask for money for the breast implant surgery. That woman owes me that much at least.' Saiko felt a rush of annoyance at Hiromasa for keeping her so long. With an easy push, Hiromasa tumbled off the cart.

She fell to the ground, thumping the back of her head on the dirty ground. As soon as she could, the child stood up, cringing from the pain, but just as quickly the small horse started to trot away after receiving a sharp crack with the whip her mother was holding.

"Mom! Wait! Please! I'm sorry!" For a heartbeat, she had stood frozen, sure that her mother would stop. 'This is another one of her pranks, right?' Then when Saiko never pulled over, she knew it was not. Chasing after Saiko as fast as her little legs could carry her, Hiromasa ran until she tripped and fell a drunkard passed out on the side of the street. A very polite child, she bowed and apologized, but he never stirred. Covering her nose with her hand, Hiromasa shook her head. There was a pungent smell of booze and urine that seemed to cloud around the man. Hurrying away as had no time for a proper apology she had to get back to the rented cart so she would not be left alone. However, it was too late the cart carrying everything Hiromasa ever knew was now gone and she had no idea which way it had gone.

Now she was lost in Edo, a gigantic city, where most Amanto have settled. From what Hiromasa, had read, it was a large village, the capital of Japan. So, it made sense that a large portion of Amanto had settle there and turned it into one of their cities. So even though a large chunk is still under construction– it was a sprawling city and Hiromasa had only seen a small portion of it, not only that but she had absolutely no sense of direction and was scared. She kept hoping she would spot her mom, or something familiar as she spent the day searching. After a while she at least hoped to find Sakura, even though she wasn't the greatest, she was a familiar face, and Hiromasa hoped she could help her find her mom.

Around sunset, she came upon an Amanto girl around her age in one of the markets. Hiromasa thought maybe could find Sakura there she often frequented bars like these according to her stories. She didn't find her old neighbor, but she did find a strange, little girl at one of the stalls that sold sake. She seemed to be with an older woman who was drinking there. She played with her doll, until she noticed Hiromasa. "Hello, I'm Zogehirohana Imako. Who are you?" She bowed in greeting, "You can just call me, Imako- Though!" Hiromasa thought she must be an Amanto because she didn't look Japanese at all, with brown skin and super fluffy black hair. But the woman she appeared to be with looked like a normal elderly Japanese woman, except for the string of curse words that continuously flew from her lips. The woman barely noticed when Imako broke away to talk to the other child. The girls spoke for a few moments before the elderly woman stood up and growled at the other girl to come along, because she other things to do. Before leaving, Imako handed Hiromasa her anpan that her grandfather had gotten her before he went home because he was tired from work.

"I was saving it for after supper, but you look hungry. See you, later." Imako turned to look back one more time, as her grandmother dragged her along. "I hope you find your mum. Maybe the Shinsengumi could help." Hiromasa waved good bye at her new friend, until she was out of sight. Scarfing down the delicious red bean bread, she hoped they would meet again one day.

Then everything went back to being awful as night neared and Hiromasa was too scared to keep walking anymore. She found a bench near and alley and sat down on it. Just when she got comfortable several of the stray Nekoyaban, pounced on her scratching, hissing and biting. They came from out of nowhere. They were not quite like cats from Earth. Their furs were blues, greens and purples, and were as large as a dog some of them. One was bigger than the rest— almost taller than she was, with blue and green spikes on it long tail was particularly aggressive towards her. "Mrrow!" It hissed at her and it had chased Hiromasa and had got several scratches on her, as it chased for a couple blocks before it got bored.

She eventually made it to what looked like a large compound but it was hard to tell because she had so much blood dripping into her eyes from the scratches. That was when everything had gone black.

Hiromasa noticed she was not in the kimono her mother had given her. She only noticed because it was not so itchy. This one was a lot nicer, like the ones her grandmother often sent her before her mom sold them so Saiko could buy herself nicer things and returned with things made from rice sacks and other incredibly cheap clothes that even beggars would be embarrassed to wear. But this was a nice white kimono and soft hakamas. She liked these pajamas. Suddenly she started shaking, it was a strange room with other beds. Fear shook her heart. What is this place? How did I end up here? Who changed my clothes?

"You're awake!" Kondou yelled happily, hugging her. Terrifying the girl further. Waking up in a strange place, then a weirdo hugging her—who would not have been scared? For a second Hiromasa thought maybe her mom had finally sold her to the brothel as she had always threatened.

Kondou let go when she started hitting him as hard as she can. He was surprised at the strength of a maybe five-year-old child. Jumping up and running away she was half way out the sliding door—that was left open for the breeze. Suddenly a pair of strong arms picked her up. "Oi! You have an escapee." Hijikata yelled. "C'mon kid. You're safe here." He mumbled, accidently blowing smoke in her face. He had discovered cigarettes on today's patrol near an Amanto market.

The dark-haired, samurai set the child down on the bed again, while she coughed. Hirosmasa grimaced at the reeking smoke. Meanwhile the fearless Shinsengumi leader was sobbing like a little boy who spilled his ice cream cone, "W-why would my child run away from her daddy."

A sharp slap came to the back of his head, "You shouldn't scare children like that." A grumpy Sougo said, staring dully at him with crimson eyes.

"Kondou-san, her breakfast is ready." Yamazaki Sagaru came in with a large tray with rice, salmon and avocados.

Hiromasa slowly sat back down on the bed. She figured out she was not at a brothel, but she still was not sure where she was but she seemed to be safe even though these men were weird. "Thank you." She mumbled hesitantly accepting the bowl Yamazaki offered, as if she expected him to suddenly slap it out of her hands the way her mother often did. She was so thankful as she scarfed it down, ignoring her chopsticks and used her hands as shovels as rice flew everywhere from how quickly she was eating.

Hearing that their guest was awake, the Shinsengumi members that weren't on duty or visiting their families, or out in town, gathered into the infirmiry and kneeled on the mats looking forward to seeing the child.

Kondou eventually stopped his crying and joined Hijikata and Yamazaki in watching her eat. Half-starved men did not even eat with that kind of desperation. They wondered what horrors such awfully young child could have endured.

Striding over, the lieutenant knocked Hiromasa on the head. "Hey, you shouldn't eat that fast! You'll choke." Then as she was swallowing since she started choking on her food. With slightly widened eyes, Sougo patted her back as she choked on her rice. Alarmed, the officers surrounded her to make sure she is alright. Hiromasa kept spewing rice and she tried to breathe again.

Flying across the room, after a punch from Kondou, Sougo plugged his bloody nose. "Baka! Are you trying to kill her?!" Kondou shouted. As soon as she recovered, she started scarfing her food again.

Sougo smirked as he looked in her bowl, for not liking the vegetable she sure licked the bowl clean. Yamazaki took the tray and brought it into the kitchen. They waited until she was finished eating to start asking her questions. "I take it you like avocados and rice a lot?" The child shook her head, "No not really. I hate avocados." She mumbled.

"Thank you for your help." She stood, and clumsily bowed.

The men would have none of that. Honda quickly waved her off, and explained it was their duty. "I came here, in hopes you could help me find my mom?" She inquired.

At the mention of the child's mother, Hijikata's hand went instinctually towards the sword at his side, Kondou interfered before he could say anything that might scare the child. "Well… um…"

"Your mom wasn't the best place for you… instead…" Honda explained what his leader was thinking.

The Shinsengumi officers kneeled closer to Hiromasa, besides Hijikata who preferred leaning against the wall. They brought the child over and explained that there were two options for her—once she was healed up she would be sent to the train station and put on the orphan train, a train that went across Japan carrying loads of orphans in order to find homes for them, until she found a family that wanted her. Or she could stay with them and be a member of the Shinsengumi with three square meals a day, her own bed roll, and the responsibility of keeping Edo safe.

Hiromasa tilted her head, watching the men watching her. The big hairy man, everyone kept addressing as a gorilla was on his knees with big eyes. She thought it was weird that they thought he was a gorilla. She knew what a gorilla looked like, as she had read about them in some of the books in the library the couple of times her mother threw her out of the house because she had several male callers over and did not want Hiromasa to get in the way. The dark haired one had a mean expression on his face, but he did not give off any malevolent vibes and the other boy was close to her age. He seemed okay, if kind of a jerk. She was in away relieved to not go back to her mother. But she was now faced with an uncertain future depending on which path she chose for herself. Is she choose the Shinsengumi she would be surrounded by family, and learn how to fight with a real sword! Plus, she would at least get three meals a day here, and clean clothes as needed…

At the same time, she had never been on a train and she did not know these men. She does like to try new things and Edo is not a very nice city, especially since they have these scary monsters and Amanto everywhere. All kinds of them, ones that look like people but with animal ears, strange colored skin, and all kinds of abnormalities. She thought it might be different in other parts of the world. Maybe she could find her grandmother—Hiromasa had often heard her mother speak to her grandmother on the phone and she often sent Hiromasa and Saiko expensive gifts, that Saiko almost immediately sold for sake.

Hiromasa thought about if for several heart beats. Kondou was certain she would choose him, after all he would be a wonderful father. In his head, he already had a movie real going off Hiromasa, in a pretty dress as he took walks with her, as he taught her how to wield a sword. The first time she won a sparring competition. Taking her shopping for her coming out party. Then as he picked put her wedding dress. Then as he held her first born child. Kondou was in tears as he pictured how beautiful his grandchild was.

The other two were not as certain, she was a child and a girl at that this probably would not a female's first choice.

A few more moments of silence passed before Hiromasa stood up on her feet, albeit a bit wobbly. "I- I guess I could stay with you guys." At first none of them moved, they were all hocked then the child was swarmed in a group hug as the other thirty-six members swarmed in and turned it into a group hug.

"She chose us!"

"Yes, we are awesome!"

"Yes! I've always wanted a niece!"

"I'm going to be such a great father!"

Hiromasa did not particularly like how many people were crowded around her and for a moment she wondered if she should have chosen the other option, but then she just settles into the hug and let herself enjoy it—after all it's been a while since she was showed affection.

When everyone finally let go, brought up a rather important topic. "Well, what should we name her?"

Hiromasa quirked an eyebrow, "I have a name. It's Hiromasa."

Kondou shook his head. "No we meant your last name. Since I'm adopting you, you should clearly take Kondou as your last name."

This immediately resulted in a fight. Sougo, pushed him aside to stand in front of Hiromasa. "She's going to be my other sister. Therefore, her name is Okita."

Several other members offered their last names as options. Finally, the Honda spoke up. "Guys. She is five years old. Let her chose for herself. It will also help her adjust."

Hiromasa wrinkled her nose at him. "I'm eight, sir." Everyone's eyes widened at this revelation. She was so small and thin. Could she only be two years younger than Sougo? Honda was further alarmed at this girl's background story. She must have been severely maltreated her entire life to be this small. He had read the note but he had thought that perhaps this treatment was a more recent thing. "Also, I don't really care" She sighed. "No offense." She added quickly, lest they hit her for being mouthy. It was going to take the child a while to get rid of the fear of being beaten.

"Ha! I'm still older. You must now address me as Senpai." Sougo flicked her in the nose. "You would've had to anyway. Since I was a member first."

"So, this means she gets my last name, right?" Tadashi spoke up only to have a fist smashed into his head by several of the other members. "No! You weren't even a part of Kondou's Dojo."

'I wonder if it's too late to change my mind.' Hiromasa shoved his hand away from her face. Around her the men stood in a huddle in the center of the infirmary. Ignoring them, she stood up again and started stretching. It has been a while since she felt so good. As she started to walk towards the open doorway when suddenly Yamazaki suddenly came running in past her, with a simple black cap. "I've it!" His black eyes were filled with anime sparkles. "Anyone who wants Hiromasa to have his last name will put it on a piece of paper and Kondou-san will draw a name out of the hat, and that'll be her last name.

Ignoring them, as she saw some books on the other end of the room that she went to check out. Two novels had been thrown hap hazardously onto the small table by the doorway that led into compound. Also on the desk were several scrolls, a few brushes and a small bowl of ink. She read the summary of the books; one was a mystery novel, and the other was a book on local herbs in Japan.

Meanwhile, the samurai excitedly scribbled their sir names on the paper, some were more visible excited than other. Hijikata wrote so aggressively that he had to use a new scrap of paper. Sougo then took that scrap under the guise of handing it to Yamazaki but purposely let it blow out into the wind. As he aggressively wrote on yet another, Kondou snatched it from Hijikata before Sougo could blow it up with the bazooka that he was now holding. Hanging his head, the first division lieutenant set the weapon aside for another time. "Are all of the names in the hat?" Kondou asked his men, after receiving the proper affirmations. Shaking around the paper in the hat, Kondou pulled one out at random. He thought he heard a tearing noise in the hat but ignored it. The samurai were dead silent as they waited for the conclusion of whose name their new child/ sister/niece would take. Even the wind seemed to be holding its breath. The only noise was a flutter of pages.

"Hiromasa's last name is…" Yamazaki provided Kondou a drum roll with his bowl of now empty anpan which he had turned upside down. The commander took a breath, before reading. "Property of the Shinsengumi…."

There were mutterings of confusion. Who had put that in there they all wondered. Hijikata took the paper and looked it over. It was the tag in the hat. Yamazaki had taken it on his last mission, and in case Yamazaki lost the it, Matsudaira had written it in the hat because they did not have a large disguise budget. A discussion followed on whether there should be a redraw. Before Kondou should his head, "No. It's fate. She's meant to belong with us." He sighed, happily. Hiromasa wondered over, curious as to what the commotion was about this time, and she was once again picked up in someone's arms. Kondo swung her around in a happy twirl—anime flowers and hearts appeared all around him in his bliss. "You're Hiromasa Shinsengumi, now." When he finally set her down she scowled at him, which everyone just found adorable. "Is it too late to get a ticket for that train?" Patting her head with a large, pale and roughened hand, Hijikata grinned. "Yep. Your stuck with us, kid." Twisting her lips, Hiromasa was certain that she had made a bad decision in deciding to stay…. 'Well since I am already here… Might as well enjoy it.' But she could not help the thought at the back of her head wondering what she had gotten into when they enveloped her into a group hug. Authors note: I'm hoping I kept them in character well enough, I kind of wanted it to flow like an episode of Gintama. Please review, like and favorite. This story was originally called Kinirotama, so Gold Soul but then Yazziyousdaydreamer pointed out that it can be confused with testicles and I did not want that so here we are at bronze. Like Gintama, my characters are also based off real people—except Honda, I had Hattori from Fruit's Basket in mind when I created him, particularly in looks. Oh, and neither was Tadashi though I did base him off a couple of the boys at my former high school. Hiromasa is based on Yazziyou daydreamer, and some of the stuff mentioned happened to her in real life. Imako is based off me. Saiko is based off Yazziyou's mother. And my grandmother was based off my real grandmother. I tried to incorporate some history and things in my story, hopefully it went well. Here's some info about the people and places I mentioned: *Whitechapel is one of the slums in Victorian England. * Li Xiangjun was a famous Chinese Courtesan at some point. She was known for playing the Chinese lute and a few other things.