The death of a not so dead House
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea you see here. Steal and feel my wrath!
Story:
Playing his guitar instead of doing paperwork like he was supposed to, House smiled.
'I wonder if Cuddy would like this song.' House wondered strumming the intro. The song was "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker.
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why
You can't turn around
And say good bye
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free
And swim through your veins
Like a fish in the sea
He was so engrossed in the song he didn't hear the front door open.
I'm singing
Follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee you
Won't find nobody else like me
The intruder loaded the revolver and crept closer to House.
I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as nobody knows
Then nobody can care
You're feeling guilty
And I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared
House thought about his relationship with Cuddy. The only thing that seemed even remotely similar was guerrilla warfare.
Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go astray
We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find anyone else like me
House abruptly stopped playing as the intruder stepped on a bag of chips. Spotting the intruder, House stood up, grabbing his cane for support.
"You know it's rude to break in to people's houses without their consent."(Brownies for whoever gets the irony)
Raising the gun, the intruder fired hitting House in the chest three times. House hit the floor and after deeming him dead the intruder ran.
In the apartment next door Ms Fiencad jumped at the gunshot.
"What in the world is that crazy man doing now?!"
Stomping over to House's apartment intent on getting some answers, she banged on the door. To her surprise it swung open revealing House lying on the floor in a growing pool of blood. Dialing 911 she checked for a pulse and prayed she wasn't too late.
(9 hours later, 9:00 Monday morning)
Cuddy, New team, Old team and Wilson walked into the hospital and instantly knew something was wrong. No one would look them in the eye, others were crying and still others were staring off in space looking lost. Walking over to one of the nurses, Thirteen tapped the nurse on the shoulder.
"What's going on?"
But instead of answering, she burst into tears and raced off to the ladies' room.
"Okay that was weird."
Taking charge like the dean of medicine she was, Cuddy marched up to a nurse and tapped her on the shoulder.
"What is going on? What happened?"
The nurse, Suzy according to her name tag, began to babble under the Dean's stern glare. Nurse Brenda, seeing that the girl was terrified, walked up to the seriously confused group.
"Suzy, go change Alexander's sheets, I need to speak to Dr. Cuddy."
Nodding, Suzy took off. Even changing the sheets of a paralyzed 90 year old man with no bladder control was better than an unhappy Dean of medicine.
Cuddy turned her attention away from the girl's retreating back and on to Brenda.
"What's happening? Why is everyone either A: freaking out B: standing around C: crying or D: all of the above? And where is House?"
At the mention of House's name, a nurse burst into tears and ran into the bathroom, ran out and into the girls' bathroom. A very heavily blushing Dr. Leser emerged a moment later, a piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
"What, is there a convention going on in there?! What the hell is going on?!"
"Cuddy," Brenda sighed and prepared to tell her the news."Welostapatient."
"What?" Cameron asked, voicing their confusion.
"Please repeat that slowly." Wilson asked in his 'I'm saving the world one poor soul at a time' voice.
Brenda took a deep breath.
"We lost a patient."
"So? We lose patients every day." Chase said even more confused.
"Well………."
"Spit it out!" Cuddy demanded.
"Lisa," Cuddy froze. Brenda never called her Lisa at work unless hell was breaking loose. "Sit down."
Doing as she was bid, Cuddy sat.
"There. Now tell me!"
"It was House."
"Oh, God, what has he done now?!"
"No, Lisa. The patient we lost was House."
Everyone froze.
"Okay, very funny. But we won't fall for it."Kutner said laughing. "Right? House roped you into pranking us."
Brenda looked at him with pain in her eyes.
"You're not joking. House is ……."
Brenda nodded.
Hearing a bang, Cuddy looked up to see a gurney with a cloth covering its cargo pushed out of surgery room 1. Standing up, legs protesting against the weight, she walked up to the gurney. Gently pulling back the sheet she saw the one person she hoped to never find in this condition.
"No….no….no…" She sobbed into Houses chest and dug in her nails, hoping that if she held on tight enough he'd come back and say one of his stupid sexual comments.
Walking up, Brenda pulled her off House's body and told them what happened. Meanwhile in the morgue a certain corpse was muttering about the Dean of medicine and her 'damn harpy nails.'
"You're telling me House was shot by a serial killer?" Cuddy asked, her voice shaking.
"Yes, the killer's been going after cripples and House fit the bill. House showed me a letter he received from the killer but we thought it was a prank and made nothing of it."
"If the killer's sending letters before he kills them, do they know who's next?" Chase asked.
"Yes, Amy Portman, turns out she's our hospital mortician. Her spinal cord was partially severed in a hunting accident when she was 11." Wilson said. Everyone stared."We used to date,"He explained.
"Is there anyone in this hospital you haven't dated?" Kutner asked. Wilson opened his mouth to answer.
"Can we please stay on topic?!" Cameron said slightly annoyed.
"Everybody." Everyone turned to look at Cuddy expectantly."Get back to work, Kutner, Taubman, Thirteen go help out at the clinic. Now." No one argued.
After everyone else left, Wilson turned to Cuddy looking hard as though trying to see through a mask.
"You wish you told him?"
She nodded, not looking at him, her hair shielding her from his searching gaze.
"You know, you don't have to play tough girl all the time. It's okay to…"
"Work, Wilson. Now."
As Wilson left her office he saw a lone tear push though the mask and run the Dean's face. 'No, Lisa Cuddy's face, not the Dean's.' (A/N: Hey! Don't correct me! This is my story remember? Don't make me put you in a tutu!)
(8 hours later)
Cuddy pushed away from her desk. It had been a long day, but she couldn't think of a single thing she'd done all day. Walking around to regain feeling in her feet, she looked up to find herself outside the morgue. Walking inside she saw……not much, just Amy fixing the body of a man who died of multiple lacerations from a crazy ex-girlfriend.
"Amy?"
Looking up, Amy smiled.
"Hello, Dr. Cuddy, how can I help you?"
"I came to say goodbye to House."
Amy gave her a pitying smile.
"He's over there by the door." Amy said gesturing in the direction of a lone table."Just don't pull the covering down past his face, okay?"
Cuddy nodded and walked over to the indicated table.
"Hey," she said swallowing thickly looking down at House."I'm not very good at goodbyes, 'splains the reason that I never fired you. You were, are a good friend. But you were so infuriating, obnoxious, you would take too many risks, go against my judgment and then bat your blue eyes at me and get away with it. I guess what I'm trying to say now what I missed the chance to tell you all those times. Even now I can't say it for fear of your answer, even though I know I'll never hear it. What I'm trying to say is….I love you. All 6'2, sarcastic, limping, pain in the neck of you."
She had nothing left to say, but she had something left to do. She leaned down and gave him her promise of love in their last kiss, the taste of death overlapping the taste of House. She abruptly pulled away at the sound of the morgue doors banging open. Looking up she saw the cruel cold mouth of a gun pointed at her.
"Remain silent and move into the corner." The voice was cold and commanding, forcing her to submit to its demands. Moving into the corner, Cuddy grasped Amy's hand keeping her as far from the gun as possible in the confined space.
"And people call me insane. Kissing corpses, even I find that disgusting and yet fascinating. Tell me why is a pretty little thing like you kissing the shell of a hateful old cripple like him? Wait, don't tell me…you love him?" The tone in his voice lashed out like a whip slashing and stinging in a relentless attack to find her secrets. Squaring her shoulders, she stuck out her chest trying to contort her terror to something to parry the attacks with.
"Maybe, maybe not, but I fail to find any point in which it becomes your business."
"Oh, I think it became my business when I put a bullet through that damn cripples head. I'm still surprised that anyone misses him. " The man said chuckling darkly.
Cuddy felt shivers of hatred run down her spine. This man shot House and thought it was funny?!
"As much as I hate to cut our time short, I have to get out of here soon. I was just going to shoot Ms Portman. But now that you know what I look like I'm afraid I'm going to have to shoot you too."
He fired once over their heads, just to make them scream and then leveled the gun at Cuddy head.
"Goodbye."
Cuddy shut her eyes and huddled against the wall as if she might pass through it if she pushed hard enough. She heard the hammer pulled back and…
'WHACK!'
Cuddy's eyes popped open at the noise and saw House standing there cane raised over the now unconscious killer like club.
"You okay?" House asked the women, leaning heavily on his cane. Cuddy stood stunned, having forgotten how to talk. Realizing she had yet to answer him, she attempted to form words in her muddled brain.
"How are you…."
"Alive? Bullet proof vests are surprisingly good at their job. The police gave me one after they found out was the next victim. They used me as bait to lure him out and then failed to catch him."
"And you were supposed to play dead and let us handle it." A cop said coming out of a dark corner of the morgue, a very unhappy look on his face.
"Then don't fall asleep next time." House snapped. The police officer's face flushed with anger.
Cuddy walked up to House and wrapped her arms around him, afraid that if she let go he would disappear. Her face went red when she noticed that House was not wearing a shirt, and was only wearing yoga pants. Then a thought struck her.
"Wait, you were awake the entire time?"
"Well I obviously wasn't dead. So yes, I was awake the entire time." All the color drained from Cuddy's face.
"You want to know a secret?"
Cuddy looked up not daring to hope.
"I love you too. And that was the most pathetic kiss I've ever had."
Cuddy would have responded with a snappy come back, but House wanted a refund on his two cents.
"Yuck, how can you kiss that useless corpse?!" The now gun less killer said disgusted.
Glaring Cuddy unglued herself from House and held out her hand.
"House can I barrow your cane for a moment?" Cuddy said snatching his cane not waiting on of an answer. Holding it like a golf club she swung as hard as she could and hit the killer right in the family jewels.
"I feel better now." Cuddy said handing the cane back to House.
They turned at the sound of the morgue doors being thrown open again and here Amy grumbling something about her precious morgue turning into grand central station.
"Is everything okay?! I thought I heard a gunshot!" Wilson said racing in with old team and new team close behind. At the sight of a moving, breathing, going to be embalmed in an hour and supposed to be dead House corpse, Kutner started screaming zombie, running around like a chicken with its head cut off until he ran head first into the' pull not push' doors and knocked himself out. House grinned evilly.
"Boo." And watched, trying (and failing) not to laugh, as the new team joined Kutner on the floor in a dead faint. The old team and Wilson just shook their heads muttering 'amateurs'.
"Looks like we have some explaining to do." House said kissing Cuddy on the tip of the nose. Hand in hand they left the morgue smiling, Cuddy because her new life with House and House because he made half the hospital faint before everything was cleared up and he could sneak up behind Kutner mutter 'brains' and get a reenactment of that days freak-out.
So sometimes dying is a way to find love thought lost.
(CAUTION: Do not try at home. Results may vary.)