Title: You Can´t Understand
Summary: One of them is confused, the second one is scared of watching the one he loves hurt again...and the ocean isn´t loud enough to erase the new emotions that are appearing.
One-shot.
Rating: T
Gender: Angst/Hurt&Comfort
Chapters: 1/1
So even if the main paring is Haru/Rin, (with one sided Makoto/Haru) the story is centered on Rin and Makoto.
The stars were shinning up in the sky. The sea next to him was roaring angry as the wind hit the young boy who was walking on the street. Rin could barely breathe anymore. Haru had asked him out. The words that had come from the boy´s lips had been so soft Rin almost missed them.
"Would you like to go to the aquarium tomorrow?"
Rin had gone white to the point he forgot how to even speak. Haru stared at him waiting, expecting for a positive response; expecting at least a word from him.
"I would love that Haru." he was surprised how steady and firm his voice sounded.
Haru didn´t smiled or showed any kind of reaction, he just nodded and turned on his heels towards the exit of the swimming pool.
Rin tried to run faster but the sand beneath him made him slow down to the point where he felt like if he wasn´t moving at all. Suddenly one of his feet got stuck inside the sand he fell. Instead of standing up, the boy just stood quiet and immobile trying to catch his breathe again. The sand was cold and sent shivers through his warm body; the wind was still hitting the violent waves next to him.
Suddenly he saw a pair of foot standing just inches away from his face. The red haired boy looked up just to find a taller boy staring at him with empty eyes. The sea beside them roared in rage.
"Makoto." Rin sighed as he stood up from the sand to put himself eye level to his old friend. Makoto stood the same. "What are you doing here?"
Makoto raised his shoulders and took step closer towards Rin. "Haru told me about your date. It is tomorrow, isn´t it?"
Rin frowned. "That doesn´t answer to my question."
"I know you Rin and I know the ocean is the place where you feel the safest. That is why I came here tonight. I guessed how confused you had to be feeling."
Rin took a step back and tried to hide the fact that Makoto was 100% right about everything he had said. He was the confident one, his walls never crumbled. He was supposed to be in control. "I am not feeling confused or anything such. I just like to walk without having stupid people standing in my way."
Makoto faked a smile. "Just let it go Rin." The younger one blinked surprised by the coldness on Makoto´s voice. That was just so not him. "You already lost one time, what is your need to come here and screw everything again?"
Suddenly Rin noticed a second thing on Makoto, his eyes, normally full of light and charm, now seemed cold and sharp.
"What?"
"I am just warning you Rin, back off."
"Makoto, seriously, I have no idea of what you are talking about."
"I am talking about Haru!" Rin held his breathe guessing what Makoto was about to say. "I am talking about how you hurt him 4 years ago. I am not letting you that again."
The younger one looked away. Makoto´s eyes were so powerful, so angry, and so heavy on him.
"He stopped swimming because of you."
"I didn´t…" Rin was trying so hard to keep his walls from cracking in front of Makoto. "It wasn´t my fault, I never told him to do such thing."
"Come on, stop playing fool."
"You don´t understand what happed four years ago, you will never understand. Only Haru and I know so stop making your stupid assumptions because you know nothing!" he didn´t meant to scream so loud. He didn´t meant to sound so mean. "And if you want me to miss my date with Haru you are beyond crazy."
Makoto sighed in exasperation.
"I won´t let you hurt him again."
Rin shook his head. "I won´t."
"He is better without and you know that!"
"But he loves me!" Makoto´s eyes just became a tone darker. Rin fidgeted with his hands nervously. "You love him, don´t you?"
Makoto faked a laugh. "You always knew what to say, didn´t you?"
Rin groaned and took a couple of steps back. "I saw you at the festival." Suddenly Makoto´s face was a mix of surprise and shame. Rin was able to read some sorrow on his eyes. "It was pretty obvious. Your smile changed whenever he was close to you. You eyes got brilliant to every touch you could still and…" Rin couldn´t help to smile slightly. "When he talks to you, like, with real words, not only with glimpses…" Suddenly memories of some years ago started reappearing. He remembered how he was exactly the same as Makoto when he first joined the swimming team. The soft blush of his cheeks after he realized he had been staring at Haru´s blue eyes for too long, the sudden need to tangle his hand with his and the way his heart had dried the moment he felt Haru´s lips caress his upper cheek. "You feel different, you feel special in some way."
Makoto looked down. Damn it, sometimes it was just too damn easy to read the boy.
"But he doesn´t love you."
Rin snapped back to reality. "What?"
"He can´t love you." Rin was able to see that Makoto wasn´t talking to him any longer. "It wouldn´t be fair."
"Makoto."
"No!" the boy screamed as silent tears started running down his cheeks. "You don´t understand. I was always there for him! I have always been!"
"You can´t force someone to love you, Makoto."
"But why? Why does he love you?"
The two boys stood silent. Makoto covering his face with his hands as he tried to stop the tears from falling; while Rin was just staring at him. When Makoto finally looked up again there were no more tears in his eyes but they were still swollen and red.
"I was the one that got him to school on time. I was the one that cared if he was eating properly or if he was getting enough sleep. I was the one that got him out of every damn problem and the one that stopped him from dying after he jumped to an open pool in the middle of December!" Rin could feel the waves of hate Makoto was sending him from his eyes and sadly, he knew he deserved it. "The only thing you ever did was hurt him."
"You don´t know anything." repeated the younger boy in a hiss as he fought the urge to punch his old friend.
"Yes, I don´t know what happened that day at the pool. But I know what happened the day after, the week after and the years after. I was there, standing the numbness inside his eye and his sudden apathy about everything that surrounded him, including me." Makoto took a deep breath and turned his face to the ocean. Rin mimicked him. The first sunshine was appeared from the edge of the ocean which was awfully quiet. "Maybe you use to know him, but not anymore Rin."
God, please, I am calling.
"No Makoto." The younger swimmer turned again towards Makoto. "You are the one who never knew him because he has never opened up to you the way he did with me. And that is something is never going to change." And with that he turned on his heels and started running again, only this time faster and more desperate.
Hurry, I am falling…I am falling.
Makoto sat on the sand and stared at the sunrise for a couple of seconds before his eyes were clouded by rivers of salty tears. Some meters away Rin kept running as he occasionally cleaned some tears away from his cheeks with his hands. He had to stop crying. He had a date in a couple of hours and he didn´t want to look like a mess in front of Haru.
Show me what is like, to be the last one standing.
And teach me wrong from right.
And I will show you what I can be.
But say it to me, say it for me.
And I will leave this life behind me.
Say if it was worth saving me.
I hope you liked it! Please send me your reviews and opinions