Chapter 1: Before I die
She closed her eyes. She was tired. So tired. She wished she could fall asleep. But she couldn't. Everytime she tried she would hear a random noice and wake up again. This always happened when she was extremely tired. She couldn't fall asleep. She was to tired for that. She turned around facing the clock. Three in the morning.
Slowely she closed the door of the fridge. She picked up the glass and walked back to her room. She put on the light and closed the door so noone would hear her. She sat down and picked up her favourite book. The book was practicly falling appart. That's how many times she had read it. She stared to read.
Slowely she turned the page around. She stared at the words on the page. She couldn't take their meaning in. She was to tired. Maybe she should try to sleep again. Slowely she closed the book. Staring at the title her mind drifted off. She remembered when she got the book. Her brother gave it to her. Henry.
Tears appeared in her eyes. Slowely she shook her head. No no more tears. She had cried so much over the years. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to live. She looked at the title again. She had no idea why Henry gave her the book. A little princesse. She closed her eyes.
She opened them again remembering the list. If she couldn't sleep she might as well stare at that.
She stared at the list. There were so many happy memories attached to it. The hours they had spend making the list. Imagening what it would be like to do the things they wrote down. They had decided to make the list when they were twelf. Fifty things to do before we turn thirty. But it changed in less then a second.
She stared at the list. Henry never got to do more then five things on the list. She smiled. They had always thought she'd be the first to go. She was bound to lose her battle. Yet it was Henry that went first. Ironic. She looked at the list. She knew she wouldn't be able to do any of them. She would never get to thirty.
She stared to think. What were the things she wanted to do the most? That she didn't have all the time in the world, didn't mean she couldn't try. She closed her eyes. Think. Take a gonddola ride in Venice. See Paris from the top of the eiffel tower. She had always wanted to see Paris. Spend time with my family. That was verry important. Learn to ballroom dance properly. Read as many books as possible. Not that difficult. Swim with Dolphins. Dolphins were so cute. Be in two places at once.
Befriend somebody I don't like. Take an African safari. That was very unlikely. She didn't have the time. She didn't have the time or energy to do any of these things. Go abseiling. Learn to drive. Maybe her mum could teach her. She had the energy for that at least. The main reason for not having the energy was that she was very tired. And she had nothing left to live for. If she would have something it would be easier. She had her family, but it wasn't enough. Not anymore.
Go up in a hot-air balloon. Go scuba diving. It was a beautiful under the sea. She wanted to see it. Let go of all grudges. She had to do that. Not that she had a lot of grudges. Dance in the rain. This was something she had always wanted to do. But she couldn't do it. She got sick to easily. It would make things worse. And she didn't want to steal away the little time she had left. Sleep under the stars. She wanted to see all of the stars. It wasn't that easy.
Slowely she wrote everything down. Putting it in the order she wanted to do. Fall in love. That was very important. Everyone wants to fall in love. Most people have a lot of time to find someone. She didn't have that. She wanted to fall in love. She really wanted to. But she had no luck. She stopped writing. Slowely she wrote something at the top of the list.
Suddenly she got overwhelmed by a bad feeling. Closing her eyes she tried to make it go away. When she opened them again she realised that it got worse. The entier room was turning around. Verry fast. She drobbed the list on the floor and lied down on her bed. Everything was still turning around. Closing her eyes she tried to block the feeling away. Slowely she fell asleep. Remembering the last thing she wrote down.
Before I die...