Disclaimer : I still own Digimon or any of the characters
Notes: Okies, so I'm back with a new fic. This one is a Matt-centric , it contains the concept of male rape and Taito, don't like? Click back now!. This is written for a friend of mine, so you know who you are….this is for you (told I could write!!!)
Yamato
1 I'll be watching you
2 Chapter one – Every breath you take
"Great party Tai"! Matt yelled from across the room, all the digidestined had gathered together at Tai and Kari's place to celebrate the final battle between good and evil.
"Don't you think that Joe and Mimi look good together"? Kari pointed to the couple who were dancing close together on the make-shift dancefloor. Mimi rested her head on Joe's shoulder and closed her eyes as they danced, he whispered something to her. She laughed sweetly.
"Yeah" T.K smiled "But you know who looks better?, you in that dress" He squeezed her hand gently. She smiled and they walked off together for a dance.
Meanwhile, Ken and Yolei were in the kitchen helping, Tai and Matt with the food.
"So Yolei how's that new computer programme"? Ken asked, he blushed slightly as she caught his eye. Tai winked at Matt, Ken had liked Yolei for some time.
"Well it was too hard, but I handed it over to Izzy" She replied with a small smile.
"Hey Matt could you pass the salsa from the fridge please"? Ken asked.
"Sure buddy" Matt bent down into the fridge and looked for the jar, as he did so he felt someone pinch his ass. He stood up and found Tai grinned at him.
"Couldn't resist"
Matt smiled and turned to Ken.
"There's no salsa left, but I'll make some up for ya, won't take long"
"Thanks Matt, um…..Yolei, would you like to dance for a bit"? Ken ventured.
"Really? , of course, I'd love to"! Yolei smiled happily and followed Ken out of the kitchen.
"There's something in the air today" Tai grinned again.
"Yeah your baloney breath" Matt flicked a towel at his boyfriend. They began to play fight together.
Sora sat on the sofa, no-one had asked her to dance, everyone was dancing with someone else, even Cody, who was dancing with Davis. She sighed sadly, ever since Tai had revealed his relationship with Matt, she had felt left out, everyone had someone but her. She took another mouthful of her drink. She started to wonder why she had even agreed to come in the first place. Surrounded by so many happy people just made her feel worse than ever. She had never felt more lonely in her life. She sighed again as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom.
Izzy had watched the party from a chair in the corner. He was knocking back drinks which he had spiked with a bottle of whiskey stolen from his parent's cupboard. He began to feel tipsy. He didn't know what was wrong with him right now, he had changed so much, his laptop was at home getting dusty in his cupboard. Maybe it was the gang that was finally getting to him. They had called him a geek and pushed him around too many times, he felt he had to change, he wanted to earn their acceptance.
Every day he found himself doing more and more things that were completely out of his character. He wanted to be liked by these guys at school. They were the most popular and Izzy knew that if he could get in with them, he would make it at the school and finally earn himself respect off other people.
He stood up and swayed a little, he was more drunk than he thought, this time he was noticably drunk. He couldn't even walk in a straight line. He saw Tai approached him, there were two of him.
"Izzy?, are you alright"?
"Shure….Tai……….." Izzy slurred. He stumbled slightly.
"Iz, you're drunk".
"Sho………."? He giggled.
"I think I'll get my mom to take you home". Tai started to walk off.
"No Tai…….I'll walk". Izzy was out of the door before Tai could stop him.
"I hope that guy knows what he's getting himself into" Tai muttered to himself, he bumped into Sora on the stairs.
"Oops sorry Sora" He flashed her his biggest grin.
"It's ok Tai" Sora gave back a weak smile.
"Hey Sora anything wrong"?
"No I'm fine really, erm……Matt's calling you" Sora said quietly.
"Well ok, I'll catch ya later, coming Matt" Tai headed over to his lover. Sora sighed again before slipping out of the front door unnoticed.
**
The dark streets of Odaiba were unfriendly at the best of times, but along with the rain splashing up and the slight mist settling, the streets were fast becoming the wrong place to be. Sora knew though she couldn't stand another minute at the party, it had become a couples party. Everyone had someone. Except her.
She pulled her scarf a little tighter around her neck, it was so cold. The coldest winter on record. Yet she couldn't go home, it was way to early and her mother would guess something was up. Sora didn't want to face a barrage of questions about the party and why she had left so early.
The face on her wristwatch told her it was nine p.m. None of the cafes would be open now either. It looked like she was in for a couple of hours walking around in the freezing cold. She couldn't sneak back into the party, and anyway, she didn't want to go back there. The people that were hurting her the most were her two best friends. Matt and Tai. She had loved Tai so deeply, and then seeing him there with Matt was just a reminder of how she couldn't have him. He liked boys. He liked Matt. Sora was making herself feel more and more miserable by the second. She needed cheering up. She thought of Biyomon. That always brought her out of her gloom. Sora clutched the digivice at her waist and smiled. Those first adventures would be with her forever, the happy times of when they were a team. The times when romance was the last thing on everyone's minds. They were the happiest times, when they were all friends. Getting along, surviving together.
Things had changed so much now, they were still a team, but they had spilt into couples and they didn't go to the digital world as much anymore. Everyone was growing up.
**
Izzy stumbled drunkly into the alleyway. He was surprised he'd got there considering his state of mind right now. He smiled slightly as he greeted the members of the gang.
"Well if it isn't computer boy" Jake sneered. He was the leader of the group. Captain of the basketball team and not to be messed with.
"Where's your little laptop friend"? Ishi grinned. Another basketball player , another tough guy.
"I told you……..computersh……ish….boring…" Izzy swayed on the spot.
"Well, well it looks like the little nerd has been indulging in some fun for a change". Tom smiled evily, he was a football player , in Tai's team.
"Whiskey" Ishi confirmed smelling Izzy's breath.
"Nerdy boy been a little rebel now"? Jake laughed. "I can see your changing your ways. Almost good enough to welcome you aboard".
"Jake have you gone crazy?……he………." Jake silenced Tom with a swift slap on the head.
"Wanna be one of us nerd"? Jake leaned into Izzy.
"Yesh……" Izzy slurred.
"Well this is what you have to do………….."
**
Matt ran down the street, he had to find her, it was so cold out. It was times like this Matt wished he wore jackets.
"SORA"! He yelled. The mist was getting thicker and soon it would be hard to see anything. He shivered and continued his search.
Darkness was falling quicker and quicker. Matt knew he had to carry on, he had to find Sora. Knowing Sora she wouldn't go home right away as she would face questions, so he knew she was walking around, all he had to do was find out where and he wouldn't give up until he found her, or heard from Tai on his cell which he carried in his pocket.
**
Jake stood around the corner of an alleyway, the gang were with him along with Izzy who was sobering up a little. Jake noticed a figure walking and turned back into the alley.
"Ok guys, here's our lucky customer".
"Um…..guy or girl"? Tom asked nervously.
"Guy" Jake sneered.
"And you still want to………." Ishi loooked at Jake.
"Of course. And Izzy here will help won't you, I've already explained what he needs to do".
Izzy could only nod in reply, knowing what he was about to be involved in was wrong.
**
Matt muttered to himself as the wind bit into his cheeks turning them bright red. He still hadn't found her and there was no sign anywhere. There was no signal on the digivice either, and his cell hadn't rung since half an hour ago when Tai had rung to check he was alright.
Matt turned the next corner and before he was fully aware of the situation, two strong pairs of arms grabbed him, another person punched him in the stomach, and a fourth guy wrapped a gag around his mouth.
He was dragged into a nearby alleyway, he was tried to see the faces of his attackers but he was swiftly kicked hard in the face and told to lie down. Matt struggled and all he received for his pains were kicks and punches.
He heard a terrible laugh from behind him.
"Well well, if it isn't blondy , Tai's little friend". A voice mocked.
"Let's have some fun with this guy". Another voice spat.
Matt was suddenly aware of the biting cold, his pants had been removed, a few seconds later, he felt an immense pain , and his world went black.
**
Izzy sobbed hard, he cradled his friend's head, and stroked the blonde hair that was soon becoming tainted with blood. He muttered apoligies even though they were going unheard by anyone but himself.
Matt's cell started ringing, it had fallen out of his pocket and Izzy stared at it on the floor like it was a dangerous animal. He kicked it away with his foot and continued to let his bitter tears fall on the blonde's head. He couldn't believe he'd gone this far to please a bunch of sick, shallow idiots. He'd commited a crime.
His sobs brought another figure into the alleyway. Izzy screwed up his eyes to try and make out the dark stranger.
"Izzy………."? It was Sora.
"Oh Sora". Izzy wept. Sora knelt down and rubbed Izzy's shoulders, until her eyes fell on Matt.
"Oh God, what's happened here?, is he………….dead…."?
"I….I…..don't…K…k..know" Izzy stuttered.
"I'll call an ambulance, keep talking to him, you might bring him round". Sora picked up Matt's cell phone , which had by now stopped ringing. She called for an ambulance and joined Izzy by Matt's side. All they could do now was hope and wish, and Pray.
3 Chapter two- Every move you make
Lights. Bright lights, too bright, easier to shut my eyes, and shut out all the pain. Go back to sleep and forget this happened. Yeah that's what I'll do.
"Matt?, Matt can you hear me"? A worried voice makes me open my eyes again. I squint, the light hurts so much. It gets turned off, all I can see are shadows. They cause pain, shadows hurt you in the night. But the light hurts too, everywhere I turn there's pain. I just want to die.
"Please say something Matt". I put the voice with a face in my head, it's Tai.
"T…t…..Tai….."? I croak.
"Yeah it's me, I'm here for ya buddy". He reassures me, well at least that what he's trying to do. It doesn't work.
He reaches his hand out , but my body is covered with tubes and wires, he doesn't know where to touch so it won't hurt. Truth is, everywhere hurts, I don't want anyone to touch me. Not even my boyfriend.
"Izzy and Sora found you". Tai reaches out again and touches the bandage on my forehead. Under there is some deep cut. I stopped listening as Tai launched into a full list of my injuries, assuring me that each one would get better quickly. Eventually I stopped listening and allowed myself to drift off into memories of last night.
There was a knock at the door and shortly afterwards Joe and Mimi walked in hand in hand.
"Oh Matt!, Sora told me what happened!, it's so awful"! She wailed before bursting into tears, Joe held her tightly.
"It's just the shock, anyway, how ya feeling"? He stared at me. His eyes trying to bore into my own as if they'd give away some secret to my suffering.
"He's as well as can be expected" Tai answered for me. This angered me a little, I mean I could still talk.
Mimi is still sobbing on Joe's shoulder and she's getting worse, she's started to annoy me, It happened to me, I should be the one crying like that. Only I can't, I can't do or feel anything anymore, it's all been taken away.
Tai's gone over to them now, he's whispering something, more secrets, behind my back so I can't hear, yet I know it's about me. Joe nods and he leads Mimi out of the room, muttering some goodbye as he does so.
"Guess I have to get used to them all coming" I spit.
"They care buddy, that's why they all come".
"Yeah well I'd rather they don't, I don't need their pity". I turn away from my love, even though it hurts so much. The pain. I can't take it. I want to die.
A hand touches my shoulder and I jump. I hate anyone to touch me now, even if it is My Tai.
"They do care, it's not pity, it's love, they all love you. They want to see how you're doing". He says softly.
"They all know that I was…………" I fight back tears not even able to bring myself to say the word.
"They do, but they all want you to get better, no-one blames you".
"Bet they all think I'm so disgusting and dirty". I mutter, my voice is starting to crack, I'm holding back tears with all my remaining strength.
"They don't , no-one thinks that, so you shouldn't".
"Tai just get out". I whisper as a tear drops down my cheek. God I'm so pathetic.
"What"? He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time.
"GET OUT" I yell, more tears follow as I hear him slip out of the door as he coldly says his goodbye. Great, I've just upset the one person that means so much to me right now.
**
4 Ken's POV
"Hey Tai, I was just on my way to see Matt". Ken had bumped into Tai on the way to the hospital.
"Don't bother right now Ken" Tai mutters. He sounds really upset.
"What's happened?, is Matt ok"? I'm suddenly hit by memories. My mom sounded exactly like this when she picked me up from school on that fateful day that Sam……….
"He's fine, he's just a little tired and upset that's all. He's not really up to having visitors". Tai is still muttering, I think he's trying not to cry.
"Y'know Tai, as much as you stare at your shoes, it won't help matters, come back to mine and we can talk, that is , if you want to".
He nods weakly and we walk back to my apartment, something tells me that Tai needs a friend right now.
**
5 Izzy's POV
I can't believe this is happening. I haven't even stepped out of my room since I got back from the hospital. How can I?, I've done such a terrible thing, I helped beat and rape one of my closest friends. I've commited the worst act of betrayal. For what?, so those stupid goons would accept me as one of them. I don't even know what posessed me to want to be in their group, I have a perfectly good set of friends as it is. Well I had a perfectly good set of friends. None of them will want to know me when they find out. Matt will tell at some point, the police will try and get it out of him as soon as possible so they can catch the bastards who did it to him. Namely me.
I'm staring at mye-mail inbox, I don't know what I'm hoping for. Maybe someone will let me know how Matt is. It might not have seemed like it at the time but I really do care for him. As a team we've been through so much together and yet it seems like I'm the worst enemy of the lot.
Those stupid idiots. I hate them, there;s no way I'd want to be a part of their clan anymore. If this is what you have to do to be one of them then it's sick. Yet I did it. They told me to and I followed. I still can't believe I did it. There's something the matter with me, I'm so out of character right now. Maybe I got sick of being the computer geek that I seem to be labelled as. I wish I could just go away and never be seen again. I don't want to see the look on everyone's faces when they find out. And most importantly, I don't want to see the look on Matt's face and the state he's in right now. I wish I was dead. WAIT, death, a way out, now there's an idea……………
6 Tai's POV
Ken hands me another soda and I take it muttering my thanks. I can't get the look on Matt's face out of my head. He looked so mad. With me. All I wanted to do was lend him a supporting hand, after all I am his boyfriend.
He's hiding something, he has to be. He knows more than he's letting on to me. I think I might go and see Izzy, he was the first to find Matt, or so Sora said, maybe he knows more information that could help me help Matt.
"Tai, please talk to me, I know you're upset about what happened to Matt but talking helps. I only just learnt that lesson myself". Ken speaks up , breaking the silence that had previously fallen.
"It was just because Matt was so upset, it was like he was mad with me, he said he didn't want people visiting him. He said he didn't want other people's pity. Ken, I hate to see him like this, it's so awful". I realise that I'm shaking as I tell him this, I'm pretty close to tears.
"Tai if you want to, cry, let it all out, I don't mind". He looks straight into my eyes, it's like he can read my mind. I shake my head. I can't cry, I'm the leader, I have the crest of courage, I have to be brave for everyone else. I just can't cry.
"I was thinking……..of going to see Izzy, he might have seen the bastards who did this". My fist suddenly clenches, my sorrow subsides and is replaced by anger.
"Maybe, I don't know, he might want to be alone right now. I'm guessing it was pretty awful to see Matt in the state he was in when he was found". Ken sighed lightly.
"I just have to find out who did this! I won't let them get away with this, not now, not ever"! I stand up, anger is completely taking over my body making me want to slam my fists into the wall and not stop until it's destroyed.
"Tai calm down, it's ok, the people who did it will be found. Pretty soon Matt will be able to talk about what happened and then the police will get them. Thinking things through, maybe you should go and see Izzy. He might want to talk to someone, he'll be going through a rough time too. If you want, I'll come with you". Ken lays a hand awkwardly on my shoulder. I sigh deeply, calming myself down.
"Thanks Ken, you always know the right thing to say. You do speak older than your years. I'd be happy for you to come with me to see Izzy, how does right now sound"? I reply, smiling at him slightly.
He returns the smile.
"Of course, let me just tell my mom and then we'll get going". He walks out of the room and I follow, letting him lead the way for once.
7 Matt's POV
I can't believe I told him to get out, he 's my boyfriend for god sakes. I'm so dumb, I've probably hurt him real bad now. Who knows if he'll come back. I've had it up to my neck with visitors. My mom, my dad, TK, Sora, Yolei, everyone. They all cried. I hide my tears, it's when I'm alone I let them flow. I've never been a crying kind and I hate feeling so weak. I know my friends want the best for me but they can't understand that I only want one person here with me. The one person who is paitent and waits for me to talk about what….they……did. Better than forcing it like My mom and dad tried to do.
One good thing has come of all of this, it's brought Mom and Dad closer together. They seem happy with each other's company again. Something I haven't seen since I was a little kid. They never talked if their paths happened to cross, when we were leaving for the Digital World in that first adventure. Even at my band's gigs they used to sit at different ends of the hall, or wherever we happened to be playing.
I find myself thinking of them getting back together. Me and TK reunited and living together again. Maybe that's what I need, to help myself. I can't even begin to think about that night without bursting into tears or having a panic attack. The police have come by asking a million questions, but I was in too much of a state to be even asked my name. I couldn't speak, my throat closed up and my mouth went dry and I went into another panic attack and had to be given oxygen.
Oh God, I can hear voices outside my room, I recognise them , it's my band, all three of them , at once, I can't deal with so many people……….my breathing is getting harder…..please…. not now………..Not another panic attack……why…..why…me………….
8 Ken's POV
I'm walking silently down the street with Tai towards Izzy's house. We haven't said anything in at least ten minutes. I'm getting a little worried, I mean Tai is usually the one who is never short of anything to say. Even in times like this.
I remember this is how my mom and dad got right after Sam…………..they never said anything, often not talking for hours. I think it was the shock.
I think Tai's a little upset about his fight with Matt at the hospital. It can't be easy for Tai, his boyfriend being gang raped and then pushing him away when he tried to help him get through it.
He suddenly quickens his pace, he's deep in thought, and whatever he's thinking must have made him angry. I trot slightly to keep up with him. I hope he's going to be ok………..
9 Tai's POV
I knock on the door of the Izumi place. There's no answer, but something's a little off. It's the afternoon but the curtains are closed. I knock louder, then shout through the mailbox. I look at Ken who shrugs at me. I knock again calling Izzy's name as I do so.
"C'mon Iz answer the door, it's only Tai and Ken" I shout through the mailbox. It's then I hear deep sobs coming from inside the apartment.
"Ken he's sobbing, do ya think I should kick the door in"? I ask.
"I don't think his parents would be very pleased" Ken replies, ever sensible.
"I guess, but he might be doing something stupid" I say my voice dripping with worry. Ken nods and I know that's his agreement. I clutch onto the door frame and with my lucky left foot and push against the door hard.
I'm surprised when it works first time. No-one comes to see what the noise is all about which worries me even more. I can feel the fear rising in my throat. This is so not like Izzy. Ken and I suddenly run in and out of all the rooms, trying to work out where the terrible sobbing noise is coming from. Suddenly Ken shouts from Izzy's room.
"Um….Tai……I think you better get in here, NOW".
10 Chapter three- Every claim you stake
Ken's POV
Blood. Never really been a fan of it myself. Probably stems from seeing Sam, but I can't think about that right now. I got the shock of my life when I opened the door to Izzy's room. There was lots of the stuff.
He'd taken to his own body with a knife. His sobs were out of pain not just sorrow. I could tell by the look in his eyes he regretted doing it. I shouted for Tai who burst through the door, saw the blood and rushed back out yelling something about an ambulance.
Unfourtunatly, I knew that it was going to be too late. Izzy had lost a lot of blood, and used a lot of energy sobbing like he did. While Tai was on the phone I sat next to him.
"I'm….so…..sorry" He whispered leaning against me slightly.
"Izzy why did you do this"?
"a……letter……..please……tell Matt…..I'm….sorry" He croaked. It didn't make sense. I shook him slighty he couldn't go, not yet.
"Izzy what letter"?
"A…….letter…..on…..the……desk………." He breathed deeply. He was barely here by now. I could feel tears in my eyes, I blinked them back.
"Izzy………….." I begin, but I realise he'll never hear it. He's slipped away, in my arms.
11 Sora's POV
I practice my routine. Smile, be chatty. Don't mention Izzy. Tai has taught me well. Izzy died three days ago and I guess I'm still in shock. I thought he had a sensible head on his shoulders. He let himself go in the worst way he could. I only Matt, doesn't get that far.
I haven't visited him since Tai told me that he yelled at him and told him to leave. I'm still pretty nervous about seeing Matt myself, I don't know what I'll get.
I just have to remember not to tell him about Izzy. Oh God what if he asks?. Izzy never went to see him and Matt might be getting a little suspicious and wondering where he is. Deny. Deny. Deny, as Davis always says. Maybe I'll take his advice for the first time ever.
12 Ken's POV
I don't know what to do anymore. Izzy died in my arms, I watched him die. But also, I took the letter, I don't why but I did. I haven't told anyone else about it and I haven't even opened it. Maybe now's the time, it might provide some answers. I have to. I sigh and grab it off my desk, I rip open the envelope and notice who he has put on the front. "To the digidestined" it says. Well, I'm a digidestined so I guess I have the right.
Dear guys,
When you read this, I won't be here. You'll probably never expected me
To do something like this. Well, the truth is I've changed so much. You might have
Seen it in me.
I should tell you the reason why this is, ever since I can remember I've been bullied
For being good with computers. I've been called a geek and a nerd and I wanted
Things to change. The gang that was teasing me and I will give you their names later
Said there was a way to be accepted. I met them in an alley one night after leaving Tai's party. They could smell the drink on my breath and they said I could be one of them if I passed their test.
It was stupid of me the even contemplate the task, let alone go through with it, however the alcohol made it harder to think so I went along with it. This is not an excuse in any way for what I did. See, the whole point of this letter is that it's my confession. It's hard to write down but here goes, Matt it was me. I was the one who caused you so much pain, I was one of the gang that raped you. I'm so sorry and I have paid the ultimate price with my life, The guilt of what I did is tearing me apart and I can't deal with it anymore. You won't miss me now, you'll hate me and you'll be glad I'm dead. I don't blame any of you for that at all. I'll be in hell as you read this paying for eternity the price of my actions that night.
There is no apoligy good enough that I can offer, even if it came from the heart. I'm so sorry I caused you all this pain just to try and be liked. There's one last thing however, that I can do for you, and that's to tell you the names of the other people in the gang. Now I only know their first names but it'll help. This is the last good deed I can do for the digidestined so here goes. The leader of the gang is called Jake, I think he's the captain of the basketball team. Then there's Itsu, who is also on the basketball team. Then finally, this'll hurt you to know Tai, but the last guy was called Tom, who I believe is on your soccer team. That's all the names you need to know. And that's the last thing I'm gonna do in this life, apart from obviously take my own life. I'm sorry I was such a terrible friend.
Yours
Izzy Izumi
The paper drops to my feet in shock. I quickly pick it up again and re-read it. I can't believe that Izzy………….Oh God……..
13 Matt's POV
Something's going on, I can tell. My friends know something I don't. Sora, Mimi and Joe all came to see me today, they were wearing the worst fake smiles I've ever seen and they were trying to be bright and chatty but you can tell when there's something hanging over a person or people, in this case.
Tai hasn't been back since I shouted at him, I asked Sora if she would get him to come. I just want to say sorry for what I did. I was really upset then, I still am, but there was no reason to shout at Tai, he cares.
It's still bugging me that they know something. If it concerns me then I should have a right to know……maybe I should ask Tai……that's if he's ever gonna speak to me again…….
14 Tai's POV
There's knock at the door.
"Kari get that"!!! I yell from my room, I'm about to go to the hospital, Sora said that Matt asked to see me.
"It's Ken" Kari shouts back a couple of minutes later.
"I'll be right through" I say , I'm looking amongst a pile of clothes for my favourite soccer shirt and I can't find it.
As I search , I can hear Kari and Ken talking. Well, to be more accurate I can hear Ken crying and Kari trying to comfort him. Screw the shirt, he needs me.
I walk through to the living room where Ken is sitting hunched over crying. Kari is rubbing his back, and as I enter the room she looks at me.
I come over and take her place as she moves to the chair.
"Ken, what's going on"? I ask gently. I don't want him to think I'm ordering him about.
He doesn't say anything at all. He simply thrusts a piece of paper in my face. I take it and unfold it carefully. I begin to read.
Eventually Ken calms down and watches me for my reaction as I slowly read. I'm not sure I understand these words. If I do, it means one of my friends is to blame for what my boyfriend is going through.
I get to the end of the letter, I can sense Kari and Ken watching me very carefully. They jump as I suddenly crumple up the letter and throw it across the room.
"THAT BASTARD"! I yell.
"Tai………."
"No Ken, nothing you can say will calm me down right now"! I practically scream. I can't believe Izumi would do something like this. "Never trust the quiet ones" I say.
"You trust Matt". Kari reminds me.
"That's different Kari, anyway you're in no position to comment you haven't even read the Godforesaken letter". I shout.
"Whatever Izzy did, I'm sure it wasn't that bad". She sounds hurt.
"Oh really, maybe you'd like to go tell that to my boyfriend who in case you forgot is in the hospital. You know why?, because of Izzy"! I stomp off to my room and slam the door. I come out two minutes later with my jacket on.
"I'm going to see Matt now, call a digidestined meeting for six o clock here" I rush out of the door , slamming it behind me.
I better calm down though before I get to the hospital, I don't want Matt thinking this is down to him. I decide not to tell him just yet about the letter. He needs to work on getting better before receiving such a shock like this. I still can't believe it was one of us………..
15 Chapter four- Things can only get better…..
16 TK's POV
I don't know what's going on but something has happened. Tai has called an emergency meeting for all of us. Of course Izzy and my brother won't be there. I still don't understand why Izzy killed himself. He could have talked to us about his problems, I'm sure they weren't that terrible.
Anyway, I'm sat in Tai's living room sipping my can of soda slowly. We're all sat in silence, Ken and Tai are whispering together in the kitchen and Kari is looking really worried. When I asked her what was wrong she just shook her head. That makes me more worried, we usually tell each other everything and now she doesn't seem to want to know.
I stare at the others, the sombre mood seems to have caught everyone. Mimi and Joe are sat in silence but holding hands. Sora is staring at the coffee table, Kari is on the sofa gripping her soda can tightly. Davis and Cody keep looking at each other and shrugging, and Yolei is humming quietly, something she does when she's nervous.
Finally Ken and Tai come out of the kitchen and sit together on the sofa. I'm starting to think they're a little more than friends. They've been round each others houses a lot and now they have their secrets and they sit together, maybe that's why this meeting is happening.
A tide of anger rushes through my body, I slam my can down on the table making everyone jump and I yell loudly.
"Tai!, Ken! How could you? You're supposed to be our friends"!!!
"What are you talking about T.K"? Kari gives me a weird look.
"Ken and Tai are a couple!, they always go round to each others houses and whisper together and sit next to each other!!!. God Tai, just because Matt's been raped doesn't give you the right to just drop him. You make me sick" I prepare to storm out before Ken stands up.
"TK, nothing is going on between me and Tai, Tai is with Matt and I am with Yolei. I'm not gay, not in the least. There's just something that the two of us know and we had to work out the best way of telling the rest of you that's all. So could you kindly sit down as we have an important matter to talk about". His calming voice calms me down and I nod and sit down, as I do so I apoligise to Tai and Ken who nod in acceptance.
"Right well, there isn't really and easy way to say this……." Tai begins, I can see he's faltering. This must be serious. "We know the reason why Izzy killed himself. He left a letter on his desk which Ken and I have read. The thing is……Izzy……helped……with Matt's rape". Tai chokes out, he's holding back tears.
No-one speaks, they all stare at Tai in shock. Finally Sora dares to speak.
"That's why he was there when I found them in the alleyway". She mutters.
"Exactly. And it's Izzy's funeral next week, I don't expect any of you to be there" Tai orders.
The others nod mainly just to keep Tai happy.
"What Tai has forgotten to mention is that Izzy provided us with the names of the other gang members". Ken speaks up.
"That's something I guess" I say. Everyone looks at me, I think because it's Matt, they expect me to scream or cry or something. I don't know what I feel right now. I'm in shock. Too numb to do or say anything radical.
"Have you told Matt or does he already know"? Yolei asks.
"I haven't said anything , and he still can't talk about what happened without having a panic attack". Tai says sadly.
The room falls silent. Things seem to have gone from bad to worse.
17 Tai's POV
One week. Seven little days. Although it seems an eternity since we had that meeting. No-one went to Izzy's funeral, I know because I stood outside the church gates making sure no-one dared turn up. I never went in, I didn't want to, not now.
My love, has finally been allowed home, his physical injuries healing well. Mentally however, is a different story I've still got the letter. He doesn't know about that yet. He doesn't even know that Izzy has died.
He's asleep in his bed right now, and I'm sat by him on a chair, watching , waiting, for him to wake up. I know he will pretty soon and not by choice. Ever since that awful night he has been having horrible nightmares. They're not every night but are most nights and sometimes he has more than one in the same night.
Eventually it comes, that terrified scream followed by heart-renching sobs that I can't bear to hear.
I leap off the chair and hold him in my arms as he sobs into my t-shirt, I feel his wet tears seeping through, feeling cold against my chest.
"I'm…s…s…s.s….sorry…." he managed to choke out.
"Hey, it's ok….it was just a nightmare, you're safe now, no-one can hurt you, I'm here". I rock him gently waiting for him to calm down and for his tears to subside.
This eventually happens twenty minutes later. He's still in my arms, resting his head against my chest. I look down at him, his blue eyes look sore from all that crying.
"Hey Matt" I say, it's all I can think of.
"Tai……will it get better"? He looks up at me hopefully.
"Of course it will love, you'll never forget what happened but it'll get better, believe me". I reply. He nods in reply.
"I….I….I……" He stutters, he's trying not to cry.
"Sssh, don't upset yourself". I whisper softly.
"The police……..they….keep…asking…..me……". He continues, ignoring my last comment. Unshed tears form in his eyes.
"Asking you what love"?
"who…..it….w…was.." He trembles slightly, I hold him tighter, careful not to scare him though.
My heart stops, if he remembers, then it'll make him worse, knowing it was his friend and then he'll find out Izzy is dead. But if he doesn't remember, the rest of us will have the guilt of knowing and whether or not we should tell him.
"but…i….I…..don't….r…re…remember" He sniffs, a couple of the tears leak out. I regain my rocking motion in an attempt to calm him down. I don't reply to this, I just hold him and eventually he goes to sleep in my arms.
I'm now faced with a decision, do I tell him or not?.
18 Joe's POV
Things have changed so much since our days in the Digital world, I hardly recognise Matt or Tai anymore. They're the ones most affected by all these changes. I still remember last night, it plays back in my mind. I've never seen Tai like that for as long as I've known him. He came to my apartment last night soaked through from the rain and sobbing his heart out. He stuttered something about Matt being with TK and then he said he needed my help. I couldn't refuse even if I wanted to, not seeing him like that.
I took him in and sat him down on the sofa, I fetched a towel , happy that my parents had chosen this day to go out for a meal.
I let him calm down before I spoke.
"So what do you need me to help you with"? I asked.
"It's Matt……he can't remember…who it was who raped him………" He chokes out. Pushing away more tears from his eyes.
"Well it's ok Tai, 'cos we know, thanks to Izzy". I say, stumbling over the last bit, we don't have that much to thank Izzy for.
"That's the problem, I don't know if I should tell Matt it was Izzy, I mean he doesn't even know that Izzy is dead".
I stood back, shocked.
"Tai, you can't keep it from Matt forever, can't you see, you can give him the justice he needs, you're hurting him if you don't tell him". I say sternly, well stern for me anyway.
"Oh really?, and what if I tell him? And it hurts him even more?, what if that's the thing he needs to just push him off the edge"? Tai almost yells back.
"And what if him not knowing, is slowly pushing him off the edge"? I fired back.
"Oh what would you know anyway?, you're hardly ever around anymore, just get back to your stupid studying" He shouted and with that, and a slamming of the door, he was gone.
I still feel guilty now, he needed my help and all I did was push him away. I hope he hasn't done anything stupid, he was in such a state….maybe I should call him……
19 Matt's POV
Where is he?, where's my Tai-chan?, he didn't come back last night. He's left me, I know he has, otherwise he'd have come back. He got tired of me and my stupid crying and nightmares, and he left. What can I do now? There's nothing left for me. I don't want to be here if my Tai-chan hates me. I'm all alone now and I feel like the darkness is closing in on me. The pain, it hurts bad, I have to get rid of it, dad's here but he's in the living room, if I can just get to the kitchen without him hearing……..
20 Tai's POV
Sitting here staring at the water isn't gonna do much good. So why have I been here all night?. Guilt I suppose, I shouted my mouth off to Joe when he was only trying to help. I throw a stone into the waters and watch the ripples. This is my favourite place. I think of all the times me and my Yama- chan have sat here , just talking. Back when everything was straight forward and innocent.
Listen to me!, I carry the crest of courage!, and I'm scared of telling my own loving boyfriend the truth. I want to see those creeps behind bars, but I don't want to push Yama-chan over the edge, I couldn't deal with the guilt.
It hits me, I realise when I left Yama-chan with TK last night, I told him I'd be back soon. I didn't go back last night. Oh God…..I have to get to him…..I have to hope he hasn't done anything…..
21 Yolei's POV
It's strange, but I never realised how much I miss Izzy. He was like me in a lot of ways, very good with computers, quiet, never one of the popular ones. Yet, he does something like this, to another one of my friends. Not that I know Matt well, we've hardly spoken, he always seems so quiet, guarded, almost cold.
I went to Izzy's funeral, I sneaked in early before Tai got there to check. I wanted to say my final goodbye to him, even if he had done wrong.
The others would kill me if they heard me say this but, I feel sorry for Izzy and I don't think it was his fault. Thoses guys pushed him into doing that. They may have told him that if he didn't hurt Matt, they would've hurt him. Fear makes you do strange things.
I wish I could've talked to Izzy, maybe I would've been able to save him, make him see that he wasn't all to blame for that night. Maybe stop him killing himself. Maybe if I'd have acted on my thoughts he would still be here……..
22 Chapter five – Stuck in a moment…..
Ken's POV
I hate hospitals. I can always remember sitting on one of these hard plastic chairs, all those years ago, sucking on a sweet while Sam was somewhere, somewhere I couldn't go, somewhere dying.
Now I'm sat in another hard plastic chair, but this time I have my friends around me. We're all here. Hoping for the best.
Matt hurt himself, he took a knife to his wrists. No-one knows why, or if they do , they haven't said anything.
Tai's sat , for once, quietly, lost in his own thoughts. Kari's holding a sobbing TK, while Sora is comforting Yolei and Cody who are both in shock. Joe is holding Mimi and they both have soft tears running down their cheeks. Davis, is staring at the black and white tiles, not sure if he should talk.
A silence fell about ten minutes ago and no-one dare break it. But then, what is there to say at a time like this?, it's no mystery that Matt is depressed.
Suddenly Tai break the silence, making me jump slightly.
"DAMMIT MATT"!!!! He yells, he bangs his forehead against the wall. We stare at him, totally shocked at his reaction.
The nurse comes out of Matt's room, making us all stand up.
"Could you keep it down please! This is a hospital"! She scolds , quite rudely too, before she slips back into Matt's room.
All of us but Tai sits back down, he looks so mad. Then, I watch as his face slowly crumbles, to sadness and despair.
I take this moment to stand up and join him at the window where he is now standing. He has his back to us now, no doubt hiding his tears.
"I was only away for a few hours and look what I made him do" He whispers sadly. All I can do is put my hand on his shaking shoulder.
"Tai, it's not your fault" I say.
"IT IS MY GODDAMN FAULT!!! I LEFT HIM, ALL ALONE!, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ICHIJOUJI! SO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME"! He shouts, louder than the first time, inevitably, the nurse comes out again, just to see Tai run away down the corridor.
Mr Ishida steps out after the nurse, he looks around.
"I think I should maybe go after Taichi" He says solemnly.
"No……I should………." A weak voice comes from behind him. Another person steps out of the room, it's Matt.
"What are you playing at boy?, get back to bed now"! Mr Ishida instructs his son.
"No, I can't, not when Tai- chan is like this, he thinks it's his fault, he's blaming himself. I don't want to see him in here, like this" Matt slowly thrusts his bandaged wrists in his father's face.
"Well, I shouldn't really say this, but it's fine with me". Mr Ishida gives in to his son. He turns to the nurse.
"I don't advise it. But I can't stop him, I'll give you fifteen minutes, then you have to be back here". She turns to Matt and wags her finger at him.
"Thankyou" He mutters and we all watch as he walks slowly down the corridor Tai disappeared down only a minute or two ago. The nurse goes back into the room, and Mr Ishida turns to me.
"Have I just done the stupidest thing ever"? He asks me.
"No sir, you let Matt do what he really wanted to do, there's nothing wrong with that". I reply. He smiles at me as we all sit down and wait for Tai and Matt.
23 Tai's POV
So it's come to this, sat on the floor in the hospital toilets. Sobbing my heart out. I've let my Yama-chan down , and he's hurt himself all because of me. I rock slowly back and forth praying for these tears to end. I've let him down. I told him I'd never leave, and he thinks I have.
I hear the door being pushed open, I dash into one of the stalls, I don't want whoever it is to see me crying and then ask a load of questions. I hear the squeak of shoes on the floor and I clamp a hand over my mouth to stop another sob from escaping.
"Has the bearer of courage bailed out on me"? A voice asks, it's my Yama- chan, I want to rush out and hold him but I can't let him see me like this.
"Come on Tai-chan, I don't mind seeing your tears. You don't have to be strong all the time you know" He says, his voice sounds pretty weak, but I guess he's exhausted.
Sighing and wiping a few tears away, I open the stall door, before I can even step outside , my Yama-chan has his arms around me, in a hug as strong as he can manage right now. I can't help it, but more sobs come out.
"Don't cry Tai-chan, it's not your fault". He whispers softly.
"But…but….I…left….you……" I mutter.
"Tai-chan It doesn't matter, what matters to me now is that you're here and…….."
I realise he's stopped talking, I turn my head and I see my Yama-chan had fainted in my arms, probably the exhaustion.
I get him back to his room pretty damn quick though, carrying him in my arms, he's so light now.
I hand him over to Mr Ishida who is waiting outside Yama-chan's room with the others.
"My baby…." He whispers as he cuddles his son close before taking him into the room so the nurse can have a look at him.
My tears are gone now. I wonder for how long…….
24 TK's POV
Another month has gone by, and although Matt is slowly getting back to himself and getting over what happened that night, the rest of us are on strict instruction from Tai not to tell him about the mess with Izzy.
Of course, Matt has asked to Izzy's whereabouts , and Tai has simply told him that Izzy's grandma is sick and he and his parents are living with her until she gets better. Matt seemed to accept this, but I'm sure he's getting suspicious.
I want to tell him, as Matt still gets in a state because he can't remember even the faces of the attackers. I feel so guilty watching him suffer like that when I could easy tell him the names of all the guys.
Since we're on summer vacation , Tai hasn't had a chance to get back at any of the rapists. But he keeps swearing that as soon as school starts, he'll get revenge.
I think I'm gonna call a meeting, behind Tai's back, which I don't really like the idea of but, someone has to decide when to tell my brother, it's so unfair keeping him in the dark like this. A meeting…….the problem is how to sort it so Tai doesn't find out………
25 Kari's POV
I managed to get out of the door this morning without a barrage of questions from Tai as to where I was going. I swear, he's worse than mom. Matt's rape has made him even more protective of me. Maybe if he had asked, I wouldn't spilt.
TK has arranged a digidestined meeting and made sure that niether Matt or my brother will be there. I hate going behind Tai's back, he's supposed to be the leader and of course, he's my brother and it makes me feel so sneaky, discussing him with the others without him knowing.
I'm heading over to TK's apartment now, Cody is walking with me but he hasn't said a word since I picked him up from his place. He hardly speaks anymore, I mean he was quiet anyways but more so since the attack.
I throw a concerned look in his direction before allowing myself to retreat to my own thoughts.
26 Ken's POV
I hate this, a meeting behind Tai's back, it's so sneaky, so……..awful. Yet I agree that TK has a point, Tai thinks that he is protecting Matt but I'm pained to agree that the longer he keeps this Izzy business from Matt, the more he will hurt him when he finds out.
I'm sat on the floor next to Joe, we keep throwing nervous looks at each other. No-one seems to be saying much, I think that without Tai as a strong leader, everyone is too polite to take over.
I thought about it myself. I thought about leading this meeting, but then I remember the last time I had power, I was the Digimon Emperor, power is a dangerous thing in the wrong hands, I guess I still feel I'm the wrong person.
Finally after a few more minutes, TK clears his throat and stands up.
"Well…..guys….I'm sure no-one is comfortable doing this behind Tai's back….but something needs to be done. All this keeping my brother in the dark about Izzy is bound to have bad effects the longer we leave it. What it comes down to is we have to decide whether to go along with Tai's plan, or tell Matt".
"If we go against Tai, it'll feel like we're betraying him". Kari whispers gently.
"Yeah but what about Matt? , he gets so upset with himself because he doesn't know who it was".
"I think Tai's only got Matt's best interests at heart". Kari replies.
"Oh really? And how will my brother feel when he knows we've know for so long"? TK's voice has got a nasty edge to it.
"TK you can't just blurt it out either!, it'll hurt him"! Kari says, she's trying not to shout.
"Well your brother would know all about hurting Matt".
"How dare you say that!. Tai has always been there for Matt, unlike you"! Kari gives in and yells this.
"You don't know what you're talking about"! TK yells back.
Another silence falls as the door opens.
27 Tai's POV
The first thing I see when I open the door is my sister at war with TK , tears glistening in her eyes, and the rest of the digidestined looking on, shocked.
I turn around to see my beautiful Yama-chan, he agreed to come outside of his apartment for once to come and watch a video with me. He had a bit of a panic attack on the way here but he seems fine now. Apart from the fact his face is kinda red, which is strange as Yama-chan is normally so pale.
"JUST SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU" He suddenly yells, making everyone including me jump about a mile.
Kari and TK do as they are told and turn their backs on each other.
"You know the front door isn't soundproof" Yama says, back to his quiet self.
I groan slightly, he must have heard everything like I did, I was hoping he hadn't been stood near enough to the door.
"Listen guys, I don't what it is you want to tell me but I'd appreciate if you did now". He mutters, he suddenly leans against me, like he needs supporting to stay standing. I walk him over to the sofa and sit down next to him. I don't want him to find out like this, not at this time either. It could undo all the work he's done to get better.
"Yama-chan not now" I mutter stroking my hand through his thick blonde hair.
"Yes Tai now, whatever it is, it's causing friction between the group, so it needs sorting out, and now". He says firmly.
Suddenly I'm lost for words. The others look equally silenced not daring to look at each other.
"Fine" He says getting up. "Friendship obviously means a lot to you all" With that he storms out, slamming the door behind him.
"Thanks guys, especially you TK as this all seems to be down to you" I say before setting off to follow my Yama-chan.
I catch up with him down by a large lake at the park. I knew he'd be here, it's our favourite place. It's obvious he wants to be found, otherwise he wouldn't come here.
He's sitting on his favourite rock throwing pebbles into the water.
He flinches slightly as I sit down, he's still prone to being scared at sudden noises or movements.
"Hey Yama-chan" I say.
"Hey Taichi" He replies, he's still mad, he called me Taichi.
"You know…..it's killing me this….I want to see those sick idiots get what they deserve…but I can't remember. It makes me mad and that's why I went a bit mad back there. I didn't mean what I said. All of you know what friendship is, you've stuck by me through this. I had no right at all to say that. I'm sorry" He puts his head in his knees. I rub his back lightly with one hand, whilst fumbling in my coat pocket with the other. I find what I want.
"Don't be sorry Yama-chan , we all understand, you've been through a lot. You're still getting over it , and I think……I think this may help you". I mutter the end bit, as I place a piece of paper in his hand.
"What's……" He starts. I cut him off.
"Just read it Yama-chan, and remember I'm right here". I assure him. He nods and begins to read. Part of me wants to turn away as I don't think I can bear the look on his face as he reads. Yet, the other part of me wants to see his reaction. I decided to go with the latter part.
His face starts off with no feeling whatsoever, expressionless. Then , as he reads on, it slowly gets more and more distressed. As he gets to the end he crumples it and lets it drop to his feet. I look at him and pick the letter up, quickly stuffing it in my pocket. I know he'll want it as evidence.
He tries to control himself at first, but as I put a hand on his shoulder, he falls against me, his whole body shaking with loud sobs………all I can do right now is hold him……
Chapter six- as time goes by….
SIX MONTHS LATER
"To me, to me , to meeeeeeeee"!!!!! Davis screamed as he waves his hands frantically above his head. Ken smiles before obliging and passing the soccer ball to him.
Tai and Matt sat on the grass watching the others play. Tai ached to get on the pitch with them but his boyfriend was more important.
"I never knew Ken could play so well…." Tai struggled to make conversation.
"Yeah, now there's a place on your team, you might wanna try him out". Matt replied. Tai knew very well he was meaning Tom. Ever since Tai had given Matt the letter, it seemed to have made him a lot better. There was still the nightmares and flashbacks, but Tai knew that Matt could deal with them now.
"Hello Tai"? Matt waved his hands in front of Tai's face. Tai had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't replied to Matt's previous suggestion.
"Oh…yeah….sorry. Guess I was away there for a second". Tai mumbled.
"You know giving me that letter was the right thing to do don't you"? Matt asked concerned. "I mean. Now the police know who it was and the action against them is being taken. You seem to be a little down".
"Sorry Yama-chan, I was just so worried for you….especially when you did this……" Tai pulled Matt's sweater sleeve up and exposed the angry red lines where he had cut himself.
"I'm sorry about that….I didn't know what I was doing……" Matt looked away. "I was messed up……it was killing me…not knowing who it was. Now I know, I can move on. Those guys, they can't hurt me anymore, I know that. I don't want you to worry anymore. I'm fine Tai-chan". Matt turned back with a little smile. "Look there's something I have to do…..you go and play soccer, I'll be ok, really".
Matt stood up, gripped Tai's hand for a few seconds and walked away.
The group sat around one of the park's picnic benches , worn out from playing soccer.
"Hey, where's Matt"? TK asked, a look of concern spreading across his face.
"He went somewhere" Tai replied quietly. He neglected to mention Matt had been gone over an hour.
"What? And you didn't think to ask where he was going"? TK's voice raised slightly indicating his anger.
"He won't go jumping off a bridge" Tai shot back. TK looked hurt.
"Do you think we should try to find him"? Sora asked concerned.
"Yeah, I guess it would be wise to". Ken answered for Tai who was now looking decidedly guilty.
"Where should we start"? Davis asked.
"I can't think where he might have gone" Kari replied.
"Sensible place to start would be his place" Joe suggested.
"Oh Joe as usual you come up with the best ideas"! Mimi swooned.
"Please, spare us Mimi, I think I might be sick……" Tai tried to lighten things up with a joke.
Ten minutes later, the group were on there way to Matt's apartment. They were chatting together until they passed the graveyard where Izzy was buried. A silence fell as if they were all thinking about their friend.
"He doesn't deserve this silence" Tai muttered angrily. He would never forgive Izzy. Ever.
"It wasn't all his fault". Yolei said quietly.
"Yeah right" Tai's voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked out into the graveyard. He saw a figure stood by a gravestone. It couldn't be…..he looked closer…he noted the blonde hair and realised who it was.
"Matt……" Tai said.
"Huh, where"? TK asked.
"Over there". Tai pointed to the gravestone and the figure and the others all turned to see.
"What's he doing there"? Mimi asked.
"Izzy" Tai said under his breath. Before he knew what he was doing, he was striding through the gates and over to where Matt was standing.
The others followed and Sora ran ahead to stop Tai. She placed her hand on his arm.
"Tai, no, it's obvious he needs to be alone. Let him". She said quietly so as not to disturb Matt.
"Maybe we should listen to what he has to say to Izzy" Joe suggested.
The group sat down on two nearby benches, luckily Matt was too into what he was doing to notice them. They sat in silence waiting for him to talk. If he did.
Eventually he kneeled by the headstone , lowering his head slightly, and he began to speak, quietly.
"I don't know….why I'm here really…….it's funny Iz, I thought I'd hate you. Yet I don't….I know you weren't all to blame. You were drunk…..that I remember, you were all drunk. They pushed you into something you didn't wanna do. You couldn't think straight. I know that you didn't betray me on purpose. You were a good friend. And I'm sorry that I wasn't there to save you or even say farewell that one last time….maybe that's why I'm here…to say goodbye. You were always the smart, sensible one. On those adventures. You could always be relied upon to give us a theory……makes me smile when I think of it. That's the way I want to remember you…that's the memories I want to have in my heart. The good times. So I won't forget what happened that night. I know it will be with me always. But so will you……Izzy…you're my friend. I don't want to forget you. The others aren't here, I don't think they're on good terms with you. I don't care if they hate you, they can if they want to. What you must know. The most important thing, is, that I..Yamato Ishida. Don't hate you and I forgive you buddy. Friends forever. Hey, maybe you might find the time to watch over us too. You'll be glad to know the others, are being locked up for what they did. You helped me do that. It was killing me, driving me mental. Not being able to remember anything but the pain from that night, then I got your letter. It brought me through, helping me to move on. So thanks again for that. Anyway, I bet you're getting bored of me talking now. Remember you'll always be with me, in a good way. And, I, I want you to have this". Matt placed his harmonica on the grave. "Annoy everyone in heaven….goodbye my friend". Matt stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes. It was then he turned around and noticed the others watching, listening and now, crying.
Matt stared at them before running over and into the arms of his love.
"Tai………." He began.
"Sssh…Yama-chan….if you can forgive him, I do too. Everything's good now, and it'll stay that way". Tai hugged his Yama-chan.
"Always and forever"? Matt asked.
"Always and forever". Tai confirmed.
The others smiled as Tai's words echoed in the air.
THE END
Note: Ok, ok that was a totally soppy ending. Thanks for sticking with this fic though to get right to the end. So could ya do one little thing for me?, review?. I love getting feedbacks on my fics , good or bad, along as the bad is constructive, anyways gotta go , other fics in the pipeline to work on, until the next time, sees ya!
Yamato
Notes: Okies, so I'm back with a new fic. This one is a Matt-centric , it contains the concept of male rape and Taito, don't like? Click back now!. This is written for a friend of mine, so you know who you are….this is for you (told I could write!!!)
Yamato
1 I'll be watching you
2 Chapter one – Every breath you take
"Great party Tai"! Matt yelled from across the room, all the digidestined had gathered together at Tai and Kari's place to celebrate the final battle between good and evil.
"Don't you think that Joe and Mimi look good together"? Kari pointed to the couple who were dancing close together on the make-shift dancefloor. Mimi rested her head on Joe's shoulder and closed her eyes as they danced, he whispered something to her. She laughed sweetly.
"Yeah" T.K smiled "But you know who looks better?, you in that dress" He squeezed her hand gently. She smiled and they walked off together for a dance.
Meanwhile, Ken and Yolei were in the kitchen helping, Tai and Matt with the food.
"So Yolei how's that new computer programme"? Ken asked, he blushed slightly as she caught his eye. Tai winked at Matt, Ken had liked Yolei for some time.
"Well it was too hard, but I handed it over to Izzy" She replied with a small smile.
"Hey Matt could you pass the salsa from the fridge please"? Ken asked.
"Sure buddy" Matt bent down into the fridge and looked for the jar, as he did so he felt someone pinch his ass. He stood up and found Tai grinned at him.
"Couldn't resist"
Matt smiled and turned to Ken.
"There's no salsa left, but I'll make some up for ya, won't take long"
"Thanks Matt, um…..Yolei, would you like to dance for a bit"? Ken ventured.
"Really? , of course, I'd love to"! Yolei smiled happily and followed Ken out of the kitchen.
"There's something in the air today" Tai grinned again.
"Yeah your baloney breath" Matt flicked a towel at his boyfriend. They began to play fight together.
Sora sat on the sofa, no-one had asked her to dance, everyone was dancing with someone else, even Cody, who was dancing with Davis. She sighed sadly, ever since Tai had revealed his relationship with Matt, she had felt left out, everyone had someone but her. She took another mouthful of her drink. She started to wonder why she had even agreed to come in the first place. Surrounded by so many happy people just made her feel worse than ever. She had never felt more lonely in her life. She sighed again as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom.
Izzy had watched the party from a chair in the corner. He was knocking back drinks which he had spiked with a bottle of whiskey stolen from his parent's cupboard. He began to feel tipsy. He didn't know what was wrong with him right now, he had changed so much, his laptop was at home getting dusty in his cupboard. Maybe it was the gang that was finally getting to him. They had called him a geek and pushed him around too many times, he felt he had to change, he wanted to earn their acceptance.
Every day he found himself doing more and more things that were completely out of his character. He wanted to be liked by these guys at school. They were the most popular and Izzy knew that if he could get in with them, he would make it at the school and finally earn himself respect off other people.
He stood up and swayed a little, he was more drunk than he thought, this time he was noticably drunk. He couldn't even walk in a straight line. He saw Tai approached him, there were two of him.
"Izzy?, are you alright"?
"Shure….Tai……….." Izzy slurred. He stumbled slightly.
"Iz, you're drunk".
"Sho………."? He giggled.
"I think I'll get my mom to take you home". Tai started to walk off.
"No Tai…….I'll walk". Izzy was out of the door before Tai could stop him.
"I hope that guy knows what he's getting himself into" Tai muttered to himself, he bumped into Sora on the stairs.
"Oops sorry Sora" He flashed her his biggest grin.
"It's ok Tai" Sora gave back a weak smile.
"Hey Sora anything wrong"?
"No I'm fine really, erm……Matt's calling you" Sora said quietly.
"Well ok, I'll catch ya later, coming Matt" Tai headed over to his lover. Sora sighed again before slipping out of the front door unnoticed.
**
The dark streets of Odaiba were unfriendly at the best of times, but along with the rain splashing up and the slight mist settling, the streets were fast becoming the wrong place to be. Sora knew though she couldn't stand another minute at the party, it had become a couples party. Everyone had someone. Except her.
She pulled her scarf a little tighter around her neck, it was so cold. The coldest winter on record. Yet she couldn't go home, it was way to early and her mother would guess something was up. Sora didn't want to face a barrage of questions about the party and why she had left so early.
The face on her wristwatch told her it was nine p.m. None of the cafes would be open now either. It looked like she was in for a couple of hours walking around in the freezing cold. She couldn't sneak back into the party, and anyway, she didn't want to go back there. The people that were hurting her the most were her two best friends. Matt and Tai. She had loved Tai so deeply, and then seeing him there with Matt was just a reminder of how she couldn't have him. He liked boys. He liked Matt. Sora was making herself feel more and more miserable by the second. She needed cheering up. She thought of Biyomon. That always brought her out of her gloom. Sora clutched the digivice at her waist and smiled. Those first adventures would be with her forever, the happy times of when they were a team. The times when romance was the last thing on everyone's minds. They were the happiest times, when they were all friends. Getting along, surviving together.
Things had changed so much now, they were still a team, but they had spilt into couples and they didn't go to the digital world as much anymore. Everyone was growing up.
**
Izzy stumbled drunkly into the alleyway. He was surprised he'd got there considering his state of mind right now. He smiled slightly as he greeted the members of the gang.
"Well if it isn't computer boy" Jake sneered. He was the leader of the group. Captain of the basketball team and not to be messed with.
"Where's your little laptop friend"? Ishi grinned. Another basketball player , another tough guy.
"I told you……..computersh……ish….boring…" Izzy swayed on the spot.
"Well, well it looks like the little nerd has been indulging in some fun for a change". Tom smiled evily, he was a football player , in Tai's team.
"Whiskey" Ishi confirmed smelling Izzy's breath.
"Nerdy boy been a little rebel now"? Jake laughed. "I can see your changing your ways. Almost good enough to welcome you aboard".
"Jake have you gone crazy?……he………." Jake silenced Tom with a swift slap on the head.
"Wanna be one of us nerd"? Jake leaned into Izzy.
"Yesh……" Izzy slurred.
"Well this is what you have to do………….."
**
Matt ran down the street, he had to find her, it was so cold out. It was times like this Matt wished he wore jackets.
"SORA"! He yelled. The mist was getting thicker and soon it would be hard to see anything. He shivered and continued his search.
Darkness was falling quicker and quicker. Matt knew he had to carry on, he had to find Sora. Knowing Sora she wouldn't go home right away as she would face questions, so he knew she was walking around, all he had to do was find out where and he wouldn't give up until he found her, or heard from Tai on his cell which he carried in his pocket.
**
Jake stood around the corner of an alleyway, the gang were with him along with Izzy who was sobering up a little. Jake noticed a figure walking and turned back into the alley.
"Ok guys, here's our lucky customer".
"Um…..guy or girl"? Tom asked nervously.
"Guy" Jake sneered.
"And you still want to………." Ishi loooked at Jake.
"Of course. And Izzy here will help won't you, I've already explained what he needs to do".
Izzy could only nod in reply, knowing what he was about to be involved in was wrong.
**
Matt muttered to himself as the wind bit into his cheeks turning them bright red. He still hadn't found her and there was no sign anywhere. There was no signal on the digivice either, and his cell hadn't rung since half an hour ago when Tai had rung to check he was alright.
Matt turned the next corner and before he was fully aware of the situation, two strong pairs of arms grabbed him, another person punched him in the stomach, and a fourth guy wrapped a gag around his mouth.
He was dragged into a nearby alleyway, he was tried to see the faces of his attackers but he was swiftly kicked hard in the face and told to lie down. Matt struggled and all he received for his pains were kicks and punches.
He heard a terrible laugh from behind him.
"Well well, if it isn't blondy , Tai's little friend". A voice mocked.
"Let's have some fun with this guy". Another voice spat.
Matt was suddenly aware of the biting cold, his pants had been removed, a few seconds later, he felt an immense pain , and his world went black.
**
Izzy sobbed hard, he cradled his friend's head, and stroked the blonde hair that was soon becoming tainted with blood. He muttered apoligies even though they were going unheard by anyone but himself.
Matt's cell started ringing, it had fallen out of his pocket and Izzy stared at it on the floor like it was a dangerous animal. He kicked it away with his foot and continued to let his bitter tears fall on the blonde's head. He couldn't believe he'd gone this far to please a bunch of sick, shallow idiots. He'd commited a crime.
His sobs brought another figure into the alleyway. Izzy screwed up his eyes to try and make out the dark stranger.
"Izzy………."? It was Sora.
"Oh Sora". Izzy wept. Sora knelt down and rubbed Izzy's shoulders, until her eyes fell on Matt.
"Oh God, what's happened here?, is he………….dead…."?
"I….I…..don't…K…k..know" Izzy stuttered.
"I'll call an ambulance, keep talking to him, you might bring him round". Sora picked up Matt's cell phone , which had by now stopped ringing. She called for an ambulance and joined Izzy by Matt's side. All they could do now was hope and wish, and Pray.
3 Chapter two- Every move you make
Lights. Bright lights, too bright, easier to shut my eyes, and shut out all the pain. Go back to sleep and forget this happened. Yeah that's what I'll do.
"Matt?, Matt can you hear me"? A worried voice makes me open my eyes again. I squint, the light hurts so much. It gets turned off, all I can see are shadows. They cause pain, shadows hurt you in the night. But the light hurts too, everywhere I turn there's pain. I just want to die.
"Please say something Matt". I put the voice with a face in my head, it's Tai.
"T…t…..Tai….."? I croak.
"Yeah it's me, I'm here for ya buddy". He reassures me, well at least that what he's trying to do. It doesn't work.
He reaches his hand out , but my body is covered with tubes and wires, he doesn't know where to touch so it won't hurt. Truth is, everywhere hurts, I don't want anyone to touch me. Not even my boyfriend.
"Izzy and Sora found you". Tai reaches out again and touches the bandage on my forehead. Under there is some deep cut. I stopped listening as Tai launched into a full list of my injuries, assuring me that each one would get better quickly. Eventually I stopped listening and allowed myself to drift off into memories of last night.
There was a knock at the door and shortly afterwards Joe and Mimi walked in hand in hand.
"Oh Matt!, Sora told me what happened!, it's so awful"! She wailed before bursting into tears, Joe held her tightly.
"It's just the shock, anyway, how ya feeling"? He stared at me. His eyes trying to bore into my own as if they'd give away some secret to my suffering.
"He's as well as can be expected" Tai answered for me. This angered me a little, I mean I could still talk.
Mimi is still sobbing on Joe's shoulder and she's getting worse, she's started to annoy me, It happened to me, I should be the one crying like that. Only I can't, I can't do or feel anything anymore, it's all been taken away.
Tai's gone over to them now, he's whispering something, more secrets, behind my back so I can't hear, yet I know it's about me. Joe nods and he leads Mimi out of the room, muttering some goodbye as he does so.
"Guess I have to get used to them all coming" I spit.
"They care buddy, that's why they all come".
"Yeah well I'd rather they don't, I don't need their pity". I turn away from my love, even though it hurts so much. The pain. I can't take it. I want to die.
A hand touches my shoulder and I jump. I hate anyone to touch me now, even if it is My Tai.
"They do care, it's not pity, it's love, they all love you. They want to see how you're doing". He says softly.
"They all know that I was…………" I fight back tears not even able to bring myself to say the word.
"They do, but they all want you to get better, no-one blames you".
"Bet they all think I'm so disgusting and dirty". I mutter, my voice is starting to crack, I'm holding back tears with all my remaining strength.
"They don't , no-one thinks that, so you shouldn't".
"Tai just get out". I whisper as a tear drops down my cheek. God I'm so pathetic.
"What"? He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time.
"GET OUT" I yell, more tears follow as I hear him slip out of the door as he coldly says his goodbye. Great, I've just upset the one person that means so much to me right now.
**
4 Ken's POV
"Hey Tai, I was just on my way to see Matt". Ken had bumped into Tai on the way to the hospital.
"Don't bother right now Ken" Tai mutters. He sounds really upset.
"What's happened?, is Matt ok"? I'm suddenly hit by memories. My mom sounded exactly like this when she picked me up from school on that fateful day that Sam……….
"He's fine, he's just a little tired and upset that's all. He's not really up to having visitors". Tai is still muttering, I think he's trying not to cry.
"Y'know Tai, as much as you stare at your shoes, it won't help matters, come back to mine and we can talk, that is , if you want to".
He nods weakly and we walk back to my apartment, something tells me that Tai needs a friend right now.
**
5 Izzy's POV
I can't believe this is happening. I haven't even stepped out of my room since I got back from the hospital. How can I?, I've done such a terrible thing, I helped beat and rape one of my closest friends. I've commited the worst act of betrayal. For what?, so those stupid goons would accept me as one of them. I don't even know what posessed me to want to be in their group, I have a perfectly good set of friends as it is. Well I had a perfectly good set of friends. None of them will want to know me when they find out. Matt will tell at some point, the police will try and get it out of him as soon as possible so they can catch the bastards who did it to him. Namely me.
I'm staring at mye-mail inbox, I don't know what I'm hoping for. Maybe someone will let me know how Matt is. It might not have seemed like it at the time but I really do care for him. As a team we've been through so much together and yet it seems like I'm the worst enemy of the lot.
Those stupid idiots. I hate them, there;s no way I'd want to be a part of their clan anymore. If this is what you have to do to be one of them then it's sick. Yet I did it. They told me to and I followed. I still can't believe I did it. There's something the matter with me, I'm so out of character right now. Maybe I got sick of being the computer geek that I seem to be labelled as. I wish I could just go away and never be seen again. I don't want to see the look on everyone's faces when they find out. And most importantly, I don't want to see the look on Matt's face and the state he's in right now. I wish I was dead. WAIT, death, a way out, now there's an idea……………
6 Tai's POV
Ken hands me another soda and I take it muttering my thanks. I can't get the look on Matt's face out of my head. He looked so mad. With me. All I wanted to do was lend him a supporting hand, after all I am his boyfriend.
He's hiding something, he has to be. He knows more than he's letting on to me. I think I might go and see Izzy, he was the first to find Matt, or so Sora said, maybe he knows more information that could help me help Matt.
"Tai, please talk to me, I know you're upset about what happened to Matt but talking helps. I only just learnt that lesson myself". Ken speaks up , breaking the silence that had previously fallen.
"It was just because Matt was so upset, it was like he was mad with me, he said he didn't want people visiting him. He said he didn't want other people's pity. Ken, I hate to see him like this, it's so awful". I realise that I'm shaking as I tell him this, I'm pretty close to tears.
"Tai if you want to, cry, let it all out, I don't mind". He looks straight into my eyes, it's like he can read my mind. I shake my head. I can't cry, I'm the leader, I have the crest of courage, I have to be brave for everyone else. I just can't cry.
"I was thinking……..of going to see Izzy, he might have seen the bastards who did this". My fist suddenly clenches, my sorrow subsides and is replaced by anger.
"Maybe, I don't know, he might want to be alone right now. I'm guessing it was pretty awful to see Matt in the state he was in when he was found". Ken sighed lightly.
"I just have to find out who did this! I won't let them get away with this, not now, not ever"! I stand up, anger is completely taking over my body making me want to slam my fists into the wall and not stop until it's destroyed.
"Tai calm down, it's ok, the people who did it will be found. Pretty soon Matt will be able to talk about what happened and then the police will get them. Thinking things through, maybe you should go and see Izzy. He might want to talk to someone, he'll be going through a rough time too. If you want, I'll come with you". Ken lays a hand awkwardly on my shoulder. I sigh deeply, calming myself down.
"Thanks Ken, you always know the right thing to say. You do speak older than your years. I'd be happy for you to come with me to see Izzy, how does right now sound"? I reply, smiling at him slightly.
He returns the smile.
"Of course, let me just tell my mom and then we'll get going". He walks out of the room and I follow, letting him lead the way for once.
7 Matt's POV
I can't believe I told him to get out, he 's my boyfriend for god sakes. I'm so dumb, I've probably hurt him real bad now. Who knows if he'll come back. I've had it up to my neck with visitors. My mom, my dad, TK, Sora, Yolei, everyone. They all cried. I hide my tears, it's when I'm alone I let them flow. I've never been a crying kind and I hate feeling so weak. I know my friends want the best for me but they can't understand that I only want one person here with me. The one person who is paitent and waits for me to talk about what….they……did. Better than forcing it like My mom and dad tried to do.
One good thing has come of all of this, it's brought Mom and Dad closer together. They seem happy with each other's company again. Something I haven't seen since I was a little kid. They never talked if their paths happened to cross, when we were leaving for the Digital World in that first adventure. Even at my band's gigs they used to sit at different ends of the hall, or wherever we happened to be playing.
I find myself thinking of them getting back together. Me and TK reunited and living together again. Maybe that's what I need, to help myself. I can't even begin to think about that night without bursting into tears or having a panic attack. The police have come by asking a million questions, but I was in too much of a state to be even asked my name. I couldn't speak, my throat closed up and my mouth went dry and I went into another panic attack and had to be given oxygen.
Oh God, I can hear voices outside my room, I recognise them , it's my band, all three of them , at once, I can't deal with so many people……….my breathing is getting harder…..please…. not now………..Not another panic attack……why…..why…me………….
8 Ken's POV
I'm walking silently down the street with Tai towards Izzy's house. We haven't said anything in at least ten minutes. I'm getting a little worried, I mean Tai is usually the one who is never short of anything to say. Even in times like this.
I remember this is how my mom and dad got right after Sam…………..they never said anything, often not talking for hours. I think it was the shock.
I think Tai's a little upset about his fight with Matt at the hospital. It can't be easy for Tai, his boyfriend being gang raped and then pushing him away when he tried to help him get through it.
He suddenly quickens his pace, he's deep in thought, and whatever he's thinking must have made him angry. I trot slightly to keep up with him. I hope he's going to be ok………..
9 Tai's POV
I knock on the door of the Izumi place. There's no answer, but something's a little off. It's the afternoon but the curtains are closed. I knock louder, then shout through the mailbox. I look at Ken who shrugs at me. I knock again calling Izzy's name as I do so.
"C'mon Iz answer the door, it's only Tai and Ken" I shout through the mailbox. It's then I hear deep sobs coming from inside the apartment.
"Ken he's sobbing, do ya think I should kick the door in"? I ask.
"I don't think his parents would be very pleased" Ken replies, ever sensible.
"I guess, but he might be doing something stupid" I say my voice dripping with worry. Ken nods and I know that's his agreement. I clutch onto the door frame and with my lucky left foot and push against the door hard.
I'm surprised when it works first time. No-one comes to see what the noise is all about which worries me even more. I can feel the fear rising in my throat. This is so not like Izzy. Ken and I suddenly run in and out of all the rooms, trying to work out where the terrible sobbing noise is coming from. Suddenly Ken shouts from Izzy's room.
"Um….Tai……I think you better get in here, NOW".
10 Chapter three- Every claim you stake
Ken's POV
Blood. Never really been a fan of it myself. Probably stems from seeing Sam, but I can't think about that right now. I got the shock of my life when I opened the door to Izzy's room. There was lots of the stuff.
He'd taken to his own body with a knife. His sobs were out of pain not just sorrow. I could tell by the look in his eyes he regretted doing it. I shouted for Tai who burst through the door, saw the blood and rushed back out yelling something about an ambulance.
Unfourtunatly, I knew that it was going to be too late. Izzy had lost a lot of blood, and used a lot of energy sobbing like he did. While Tai was on the phone I sat next to him.
"I'm….so…..sorry" He whispered leaning against me slightly.
"Izzy why did you do this"?
"a……letter……..please……tell Matt…..I'm….sorry" He croaked. It didn't make sense. I shook him slighty he couldn't go, not yet.
"Izzy what letter"?
"A…….letter…..on…..the……desk………." He breathed deeply. He was barely here by now. I could feel tears in my eyes, I blinked them back.
"Izzy………….." I begin, but I realise he'll never hear it. He's slipped away, in my arms.
11 Sora's POV
I practice my routine. Smile, be chatty. Don't mention Izzy. Tai has taught me well. Izzy died three days ago and I guess I'm still in shock. I thought he had a sensible head on his shoulders. He let himself go in the worst way he could. I only Matt, doesn't get that far.
I haven't visited him since Tai told me that he yelled at him and told him to leave. I'm still pretty nervous about seeing Matt myself, I don't know what I'll get.
I just have to remember not to tell him about Izzy. Oh God what if he asks?. Izzy never went to see him and Matt might be getting a little suspicious and wondering where he is. Deny. Deny. Deny, as Davis always says. Maybe I'll take his advice for the first time ever.
12 Ken's POV
I don't know what to do anymore. Izzy died in my arms, I watched him die. But also, I took the letter, I don't why but I did. I haven't told anyone else about it and I haven't even opened it. Maybe now's the time, it might provide some answers. I have to. I sigh and grab it off my desk, I rip open the envelope and notice who he has put on the front. "To the digidestined" it says. Well, I'm a digidestined so I guess I have the right.
Dear guys,
When you read this, I won't be here. You'll probably never expected me
To do something like this. Well, the truth is I've changed so much. You might have
Seen it in me.
I should tell you the reason why this is, ever since I can remember I've been bullied
For being good with computers. I've been called a geek and a nerd and I wanted
Things to change. The gang that was teasing me and I will give you their names later
Said there was a way to be accepted. I met them in an alley one night after leaving Tai's party. They could smell the drink on my breath and they said I could be one of them if I passed their test.
It was stupid of me the even contemplate the task, let alone go through with it, however the alcohol made it harder to think so I went along with it. This is not an excuse in any way for what I did. See, the whole point of this letter is that it's my confession. It's hard to write down but here goes, Matt it was me. I was the one who caused you so much pain, I was one of the gang that raped you. I'm so sorry and I have paid the ultimate price with my life, The guilt of what I did is tearing me apart and I can't deal with it anymore. You won't miss me now, you'll hate me and you'll be glad I'm dead. I don't blame any of you for that at all. I'll be in hell as you read this paying for eternity the price of my actions that night.
There is no apoligy good enough that I can offer, even if it came from the heart. I'm so sorry I caused you all this pain just to try and be liked. There's one last thing however, that I can do for you, and that's to tell you the names of the other people in the gang. Now I only know their first names but it'll help. This is the last good deed I can do for the digidestined so here goes. The leader of the gang is called Jake, I think he's the captain of the basketball team. Then there's Itsu, who is also on the basketball team. Then finally, this'll hurt you to know Tai, but the last guy was called Tom, who I believe is on your soccer team. That's all the names you need to know. And that's the last thing I'm gonna do in this life, apart from obviously take my own life. I'm sorry I was such a terrible friend.
Yours
Izzy Izumi
The paper drops to my feet in shock. I quickly pick it up again and re-read it. I can't believe that Izzy………….Oh God……..
13 Matt's POV
Something's going on, I can tell. My friends know something I don't. Sora, Mimi and Joe all came to see me today, they were wearing the worst fake smiles I've ever seen and they were trying to be bright and chatty but you can tell when there's something hanging over a person or people, in this case.
Tai hasn't been back since I shouted at him, I asked Sora if she would get him to come. I just want to say sorry for what I did. I was really upset then, I still am, but there was no reason to shout at Tai, he cares.
It's still bugging me that they know something. If it concerns me then I should have a right to know……maybe I should ask Tai……that's if he's ever gonna speak to me again…….
14 Tai's POV
There's knock at the door.
"Kari get that"!!! I yell from my room, I'm about to go to the hospital, Sora said that Matt asked to see me.
"It's Ken" Kari shouts back a couple of minutes later.
"I'll be right through" I say , I'm looking amongst a pile of clothes for my favourite soccer shirt and I can't find it.
As I search , I can hear Kari and Ken talking. Well, to be more accurate I can hear Ken crying and Kari trying to comfort him. Screw the shirt, he needs me.
I walk through to the living room where Ken is sitting hunched over crying. Kari is rubbing his back, and as I enter the room she looks at me.
I come over and take her place as she moves to the chair.
"Ken, what's going on"? I ask gently. I don't want him to think I'm ordering him about.
He doesn't say anything at all. He simply thrusts a piece of paper in my face. I take it and unfold it carefully. I begin to read.
Eventually Ken calms down and watches me for my reaction as I slowly read. I'm not sure I understand these words. If I do, it means one of my friends is to blame for what my boyfriend is going through.
I get to the end of the letter, I can sense Kari and Ken watching me very carefully. They jump as I suddenly crumple up the letter and throw it across the room.
"THAT BASTARD"! I yell.
"Tai………."
"No Ken, nothing you can say will calm me down right now"! I practically scream. I can't believe Izumi would do something like this. "Never trust the quiet ones" I say.
"You trust Matt". Kari reminds me.
"That's different Kari, anyway you're in no position to comment you haven't even read the Godforesaken letter". I shout.
"Whatever Izzy did, I'm sure it wasn't that bad". She sounds hurt.
"Oh really, maybe you'd like to go tell that to my boyfriend who in case you forgot is in the hospital. You know why?, because of Izzy"! I stomp off to my room and slam the door. I come out two minutes later with my jacket on.
"I'm going to see Matt now, call a digidestined meeting for six o clock here" I rush out of the door , slamming it behind me.
I better calm down though before I get to the hospital, I don't want Matt thinking this is down to him. I decide not to tell him just yet about the letter. He needs to work on getting better before receiving such a shock like this. I still can't believe it was one of us………..
15 Chapter four- Things can only get better…..
16 TK's POV
I don't know what's going on but something has happened. Tai has called an emergency meeting for all of us. Of course Izzy and my brother won't be there. I still don't understand why Izzy killed himself. He could have talked to us about his problems, I'm sure they weren't that terrible.
Anyway, I'm sat in Tai's living room sipping my can of soda slowly. We're all sat in silence, Ken and Tai are whispering together in the kitchen and Kari is looking really worried. When I asked her what was wrong she just shook her head. That makes me more worried, we usually tell each other everything and now she doesn't seem to want to know.
I stare at the others, the sombre mood seems to have caught everyone. Mimi and Joe are sat in silence but holding hands. Sora is staring at the coffee table, Kari is on the sofa gripping her soda can tightly. Davis and Cody keep looking at each other and shrugging, and Yolei is humming quietly, something she does when she's nervous.
Finally Ken and Tai come out of the kitchen and sit together on the sofa. I'm starting to think they're a little more than friends. They've been round each others houses a lot and now they have their secrets and they sit together, maybe that's why this meeting is happening.
A tide of anger rushes through my body, I slam my can down on the table making everyone jump and I yell loudly.
"Tai!, Ken! How could you? You're supposed to be our friends"!!!
"What are you talking about T.K"? Kari gives me a weird look.
"Ken and Tai are a couple!, they always go round to each others houses and whisper together and sit next to each other!!!. God Tai, just because Matt's been raped doesn't give you the right to just drop him. You make me sick" I prepare to storm out before Ken stands up.
"TK, nothing is going on between me and Tai, Tai is with Matt and I am with Yolei. I'm not gay, not in the least. There's just something that the two of us know and we had to work out the best way of telling the rest of you that's all. So could you kindly sit down as we have an important matter to talk about". His calming voice calms me down and I nod and sit down, as I do so I apoligise to Tai and Ken who nod in acceptance.
"Right well, there isn't really and easy way to say this……." Tai begins, I can see he's faltering. This must be serious. "We know the reason why Izzy killed himself. He left a letter on his desk which Ken and I have read. The thing is……Izzy……helped……with Matt's rape". Tai chokes out, he's holding back tears.
No-one speaks, they all stare at Tai in shock. Finally Sora dares to speak.
"That's why he was there when I found them in the alleyway". She mutters.
"Exactly. And it's Izzy's funeral next week, I don't expect any of you to be there" Tai orders.
The others nod mainly just to keep Tai happy.
"What Tai has forgotten to mention is that Izzy provided us with the names of the other gang members". Ken speaks up.
"That's something I guess" I say. Everyone looks at me, I think because it's Matt, they expect me to scream or cry or something. I don't know what I feel right now. I'm in shock. Too numb to do or say anything radical.
"Have you told Matt or does he already know"? Yolei asks.
"I haven't said anything , and he still can't talk about what happened without having a panic attack". Tai says sadly.
The room falls silent. Things seem to have gone from bad to worse.
17 Tai's POV
One week. Seven little days. Although it seems an eternity since we had that meeting. No-one went to Izzy's funeral, I know because I stood outside the church gates making sure no-one dared turn up. I never went in, I didn't want to, not now.
My love, has finally been allowed home, his physical injuries healing well. Mentally however, is a different story I've still got the letter. He doesn't know about that yet. He doesn't even know that Izzy has died.
He's asleep in his bed right now, and I'm sat by him on a chair, watching , waiting, for him to wake up. I know he will pretty soon and not by choice. Ever since that awful night he has been having horrible nightmares. They're not every night but are most nights and sometimes he has more than one in the same night.
Eventually it comes, that terrified scream followed by heart-renching sobs that I can't bear to hear.
I leap off the chair and hold him in my arms as he sobs into my t-shirt, I feel his wet tears seeping through, feeling cold against my chest.
"I'm…s…s…s.s….sorry…." he managed to choke out.
"Hey, it's ok….it was just a nightmare, you're safe now, no-one can hurt you, I'm here". I rock him gently waiting for him to calm down and for his tears to subside.
This eventually happens twenty minutes later. He's still in my arms, resting his head against my chest. I look down at him, his blue eyes look sore from all that crying.
"Hey Matt" I say, it's all I can think of.
"Tai……will it get better"? He looks up at me hopefully.
"Of course it will love, you'll never forget what happened but it'll get better, believe me". I reply. He nods in reply.
"I….I….I……" He stutters, he's trying not to cry.
"Sssh, don't upset yourself". I whisper softly.
"The police……..they….keep…asking…..me……". He continues, ignoring my last comment. Unshed tears form in his eyes.
"Asking you what love"?
"who…..it….w…was.." He trembles slightly, I hold him tighter, careful not to scare him though.
My heart stops, if he remembers, then it'll make him worse, knowing it was his friend and then he'll find out Izzy is dead. But if he doesn't remember, the rest of us will have the guilt of knowing and whether or not we should tell him.
"but…i….I…..don't….r…re…remember" He sniffs, a couple of the tears leak out. I regain my rocking motion in an attempt to calm him down. I don't reply to this, I just hold him and eventually he goes to sleep in my arms.
I'm now faced with a decision, do I tell him or not?.
18 Joe's POV
Things have changed so much since our days in the Digital world, I hardly recognise Matt or Tai anymore. They're the ones most affected by all these changes. I still remember last night, it plays back in my mind. I've never seen Tai like that for as long as I've known him. He came to my apartment last night soaked through from the rain and sobbing his heart out. He stuttered something about Matt being with TK and then he said he needed my help. I couldn't refuse even if I wanted to, not seeing him like that.
I took him in and sat him down on the sofa, I fetched a towel , happy that my parents had chosen this day to go out for a meal.
I let him calm down before I spoke.
"So what do you need me to help you with"? I asked.
"It's Matt……he can't remember…who it was who raped him………" He chokes out. Pushing away more tears from his eyes.
"Well it's ok Tai, 'cos we know, thanks to Izzy". I say, stumbling over the last bit, we don't have that much to thank Izzy for.
"That's the problem, I don't know if I should tell Matt it was Izzy, I mean he doesn't even know that Izzy is dead".
I stood back, shocked.
"Tai, you can't keep it from Matt forever, can't you see, you can give him the justice he needs, you're hurting him if you don't tell him". I say sternly, well stern for me anyway.
"Oh really?, and what if I tell him? And it hurts him even more?, what if that's the thing he needs to just push him off the edge"? Tai almost yells back.
"And what if him not knowing, is slowly pushing him off the edge"? I fired back.
"Oh what would you know anyway?, you're hardly ever around anymore, just get back to your stupid studying" He shouted and with that, and a slamming of the door, he was gone.
I still feel guilty now, he needed my help and all I did was push him away. I hope he hasn't done anything stupid, he was in such a state….maybe I should call him……
19 Matt's POV
Where is he?, where's my Tai-chan?, he didn't come back last night. He's left me, I know he has, otherwise he'd have come back. He got tired of me and my stupid crying and nightmares, and he left. What can I do now? There's nothing left for me. I don't want to be here if my Tai-chan hates me. I'm all alone now and I feel like the darkness is closing in on me. The pain, it hurts bad, I have to get rid of it, dad's here but he's in the living room, if I can just get to the kitchen without him hearing……..
20 Tai's POV
Sitting here staring at the water isn't gonna do much good. So why have I been here all night?. Guilt I suppose, I shouted my mouth off to Joe when he was only trying to help. I throw a stone into the waters and watch the ripples. This is my favourite place. I think of all the times me and my Yama- chan have sat here , just talking. Back when everything was straight forward and innocent.
Listen to me!, I carry the crest of courage!, and I'm scared of telling my own loving boyfriend the truth. I want to see those creeps behind bars, but I don't want to push Yama-chan over the edge, I couldn't deal with the guilt.
It hits me, I realise when I left Yama-chan with TK last night, I told him I'd be back soon. I didn't go back last night. Oh God…..I have to get to him…..I have to hope he hasn't done anything…..
21 Yolei's POV
It's strange, but I never realised how much I miss Izzy. He was like me in a lot of ways, very good with computers, quiet, never one of the popular ones. Yet, he does something like this, to another one of my friends. Not that I know Matt well, we've hardly spoken, he always seems so quiet, guarded, almost cold.
I went to Izzy's funeral, I sneaked in early before Tai got there to check. I wanted to say my final goodbye to him, even if he had done wrong.
The others would kill me if they heard me say this but, I feel sorry for Izzy and I don't think it was his fault. Thoses guys pushed him into doing that. They may have told him that if he didn't hurt Matt, they would've hurt him. Fear makes you do strange things.
I wish I could've talked to Izzy, maybe I would've been able to save him, make him see that he wasn't all to blame for that night. Maybe stop him killing himself. Maybe if I'd have acted on my thoughts he would still be here……..
22 Chapter five – Stuck in a moment…..
Ken's POV
I hate hospitals. I can always remember sitting on one of these hard plastic chairs, all those years ago, sucking on a sweet while Sam was somewhere, somewhere I couldn't go, somewhere dying.
Now I'm sat in another hard plastic chair, but this time I have my friends around me. We're all here. Hoping for the best.
Matt hurt himself, he took a knife to his wrists. No-one knows why, or if they do , they haven't said anything.
Tai's sat , for once, quietly, lost in his own thoughts. Kari's holding a sobbing TK, while Sora is comforting Yolei and Cody who are both in shock. Joe is holding Mimi and they both have soft tears running down their cheeks. Davis, is staring at the black and white tiles, not sure if he should talk.
A silence fell about ten minutes ago and no-one dare break it. But then, what is there to say at a time like this?, it's no mystery that Matt is depressed.
Suddenly Tai break the silence, making me jump slightly.
"DAMMIT MATT"!!!! He yells, he bangs his forehead against the wall. We stare at him, totally shocked at his reaction.
The nurse comes out of Matt's room, making us all stand up.
"Could you keep it down please! This is a hospital"! She scolds , quite rudely too, before she slips back into Matt's room.
All of us but Tai sits back down, he looks so mad. Then, I watch as his face slowly crumbles, to sadness and despair.
I take this moment to stand up and join him at the window where he is now standing. He has his back to us now, no doubt hiding his tears.
"I was only away for a few hours and look what I made him do" He whispers sadly. All I can do is put my hand on his shaking shoulder.
"Tai, it's not your fault" I say.
"IT IS MY GODDAMN FAULT!!! I LEFT HIM, ALL ALONE!, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ICHIJOUJI! SO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME"! He shouts, louder than the first time, inevitably, the nurse comes out again, just to see Tai run away down the corridor.
Mr Ishida steps out after the nurse, he looks around.
"I think I should maybe go after Taichi" He says solemnly.
"No……I should………." A weak voice comes from behind him. Another person steps out of the room, it's Matt.
"What are you playing at boy?, get back to bed now"! Mr Ishida instructs his son.
"No, I can't, not when Tai- chan is like this, he thinks it's his fault, he's blaming himself. I don't want to see him in here, like this" Matt slowly thrusts his bandaged wrists in his father's face.
"Well, I shouldn't really say this, but it's fine with me". Mr Ishida gives in to his son. He turns to the nurse.
"I don't advise it. But I can't stop him, I'll give you fifteen minutes, then you have to be back here". She turns to Matt and wags her finger at him.
"Thankyou" He mutters and we all watch as he walks slowly down the corridor Tai disappeared down only a minute or two ago. The nurse goes back into the room, and Mr Ishida turns to me.
"Have I just done the stupidest thing ever"? He asks me.
"No sir, you let Matt do what he really wanted to do, there's nothing wrong with that". I reply. He smiles at me as we all sit down and wait for Tai and Matt.
23 Tai's POV
So it's come to this, sat on the floor in the hospital toilets. Sobbing my heart out. I've let my Yama-chan down , and he's hurt himself all because of me. I rock slowly back and forth praying for these tears to end. I've let him down. I told him I'd never leave, and he thinks I have.
I hear the door being pushed open, I dash into one of the stalls, I don't want whoever it is to see me crying and then ask a load of questions. I hear the squeak of shoes on the floor and I clamp a hand over my mouth to stop another sob from escaping.
"Has the bearer of courage bailed out on me"? A voice asks, it's my Yama- chan, I want to rush out and hold him but I can't let him see me like this.
"Come on Tai-chan, I don't mind seeing your tears. You don't have to be strong all the time you know" He says, his voice sounds pretty weak, but I guess he's exhausted.
Sighing and wiping a few tears away, I open the stall door, before I can even step outside , my Yama-chan has his arms around me, in a hug as strong as he can manage right now. I can't help it, but more sobs come out.
"Don't cry Tai-chan, it's not your fault". He whispers softly.
"But…but….I…left….you……" I mutter.
"Tai-chan It doesn't matter, what matters to me now is that you're here and…….."
I realise he's stopped talking, I turn my head and I see my Yama-chan had fainted in my arms, probably the exhaustion.
I get him back to his room pretty damn quick though, carrying him in my arms, he's so light now.
I hand him over to Mr Ishida who is waiting outside Yama-chan's room with the others.
"My baby…." He whispers as he cuddles his son close before taking him into the room so the nurse can have a look at him.
My tears are gone now. I wonder for how long…….
24 TK's POV
Another month has gone by, and although Matt is slowly getting back to himself and getting over what happened that night, the rest of us are on strict instruction from Tai not to tell him about the mess with Izzy.
Of course, Matt has asked to Izzy's whereabouts , and Tai has simply told him that Izzy's grandma is sick and he and his parents are living with her until she gets better. Matt seemed to accept this, but I'm sure he's getting suspicious.
I want to tell him, as Matt still gets in a state because he can't remember even the faces of the attackers. I feel so guilty watching him suffer like that when I could easy tell him the names of all the guys.
Since we're on summer vacation , Tai hasn't had a chance to get back at any of the rapists. But he keeps swearing that as soon as school starts, he'll get revenge.
I think I'm gonna call a meeting, behind Tai's back, which I don't really like the idea of but, someone has to decide when to tell my brother, it's so unfair keeping him in the dark like this. A meeting…….the problem is how to sort it so Tai doesn't find out………
25 Kari's POV
I managed to get out of the door this morning without a barrage of questions from Tai as to where I was going. I swear, he's worse than mom. Matt's rape has made him even more protective of me. Maybe if he had asked, I wouldn't spilt.
TK has arranged a digidestined meeting and made sure that niether Matt or my brother will be there. I hate going behind Tai's back, he's supposed to be the leader and of course, he's my brother and it makes me feel so sneaky, discussing him with the others without him knowing.
I'm heading over to TK's apartment now, Cody is walking with me but he hasn't said a word since I picked him up from his place. He hardly speaks anymore, I mean he was quiet anyways but more so since the attack.
I throw a concerned look in his direction before allowing myself to retreat to my own thoughts.
26 Ken's POV
I hate this, a meeting behind Tai's back, it's so sneaky, so……..awful. Yet I agree that TK has a point, Tai thinks that he is protecting Matt but I'm pained to agree that the longer he keeps this Izzy business from Matt, the more he will hurt him when he finds out.
I'm sat on the floor next to Joe, we keep throwing nervous looks at each other. No-one seems to be saying much, I think that without Tai as a strong leader, everyone is too polite to take over.
I thought about it myself. I thought about leading this meeting, but then I remember the last time I had power, I was the Digimon Emperor, power is a dangerous thing in the wrong hands, I guess I still feel I'm the wrong person.
Finally after a few more minutes, TK clears his throat and stands up.
"Well…..guys….I'm sure no-one is comfortable doing this behind Tai's back….but something needs to be done. All this keeping my brother in the dark about Izzy is bound to have bad effects the longer we leave it. What it comes down to is we have to decide whether to go along with Tai's plan, or tell Matt".
"If we go against Tai, it'll feel like we're betraying him". Kari whispers gently.
"Yeah but what about Matt? , he gets so upset with himself because he doesn't know who it was".
"I think Tai's only got Matt's best interests at heart". Kari replies.
"Oh really? And how will my brother feel when he knows we've know for so long"? TK's voice has got a nasty edge to it.
"TK you can't just blurt it out either!, it'll hurt him"! Kari says, she's trying not to shout.
"Well your brother would know all about hurting Matt".
"How dare you say that!. Tai has always been there for Matt, unlike you"! Kari gives in and yells this.
"You don't know what you're talking about"! TK yells back.
Another silence falls as the door opens.
27 Tai's POV
The first thing I see when I open the door is my sister at war with TK , tears glistening in her eyes, and the rest of the digidestined looking on, shocked.
I turn around to see my beautiful Yama-chan, he agreed to come outside of his apartment for once to come and watch a video with me. He had a bit of a panic attack on the way here but he seems fine now. Apart from the fact his face is kinda red, which is strange as Yama-chan is normally so pale.
"JUST SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU" He suddenly yells, making everyone including me jump about a mile.
Kari and TK do as they are told and turn their backs on each other.
"You know the front door isn't soundproof" Yama says, back to his quiet self.
I groan slightly, he must have heard everything like I did, I was hoping he hadn't been stood near enough to the door.
"Listen guys, I don't what it is you want to tell me but I'd appreciate if you did now". He mutters, he suddenly leans against me, like he needs supporting to stay standing. I walk him over to the sofa and sit down next to him. I don't want him to find out like this, not at this time either. It could undo all the work he's done to get better.
"Yama-chan not now" I mutter stroking my hand through his thick blonde hair.
"Yes Tai now, whatever it is, it's causing friction between the group, so it needs sorting out, and now". He says firmly.
Suddenly I'm lost for words. The others look equally silenced not daring to look at each other.
"Fine" He says getting up. "Friendship obviously means a lot to you all" With that he storms out, slamming the door behind him.
"Thanks guys, especially you TK as this all seems to be down to you" I say before setting off to follow my Yama-chan.
I catch up with him down by a large lake at the park. I knew he'd be here, it's our favourite place. It's obvious he wants to be found, otherwise he wouldn't come here.
He's sitting on his favourite rock throwing pebbles into the water.
He flinches slightly as I sit down, he's still prone to being scared at sudden noises or movements.
"Hey Yama-chan" I say.
"Hey Taichi" He replies, he's still mad, he called me Taichi.
"You know…..it's killing me this….I want to see those sick idiots get what they deserve…but I can't remember. It makes me mad and that's why I went a bit mad back there. I didn't mean what I said. All of you know what friendship is, you've stuck by me through this. I had no right at all to say that. I'm sorry" He puts his head in his knees. I rub his back lightly with one hand, whilst fumbling in my coat pocket with the other. I find what I want.
"Don't be sorry Yama-chan , we all understand, you've been through a lot. You're still getting over it , and I think……I think this may help you". I mutter the end bit, as I place a piece of paper in his hand.
"What's……" He starts. I cut him off.
"Just read it Yama-chan, and remember I'm right here". I assure him. He nods and begins to read. Part of me wants to turn away as I don't think I can bear the look on his face as he reads. Yet, the other part of me wants to see his reaction. I decided to go with the latter part.
His face starts off with no feeling whatsoever, expressionless. Then , as he reads on, it slowly gets more and more distressed. As he gets to the end he crumples it and lets it drop to his feet. I look at him and pick the letter up, quickly stuffing it in my pocket. I know he'll want it as evidence.
He tries to control himself at first, but as I put a hand on his shoulder, he falls against me, his whole body shaking with loud sobs………all I can do right now is hold him……
Chapter six- as time goes by….
SIX MONTHS LATER
"To me, to me , to meeeeeeeee"!!!!! Davis screamed as he waves his hands frantically above his head. Ken smiles before obliging and passing the soccer ball to him.
Tai and Matt sat on the grass watching the others play. Tai ached to get on the pitch with them but his boyfriend was more important.
"I never knew Ken could play so well…." Tai struggled to make conversation.
"Yeah, now there's a place on your team, you might wanna try him out". Matt replied. Tai knew very well he was meaning Tom. Ever since Tai had given Matt the letter, it seemed to have made him a lot better. There was still the nightmares and flashbacks, but Tai knew that Matt could deal with them now.
"Hello Tai"? Matt waved his hands in front of Tai's face. Tai had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't replied to Matt's previous suggestion.
"Oh…yeah….sorry. Guess I was away there for a second". Tai mumbled.
"You know giving me that letter was the right thing to do don't you"? Matt asked concerned. "I mean. Now the police know who it was and the action against them is being taken. You seem to be a little down".
"Sorry Yama-chan, I was just so worried for you….especially when you did this……" Tai pulled Matt's sweater sleeve up and exposed the angry red lines where he had cut himself.
"I'm sorry about that….I didn't know what I was doing……" Matt looked away. "I was messed up……it was killing me…not knowing who it was. Now I know, I can move on. Those guys, they can't hurt me anymore, I know that. I don't want you to worry anymore. I'm fine Tai-chan". Matt turned back with a little smile. "Look there's something I have to do…..you go and play soccer, I'll be ok, really".
Matt stood up, gripped Tai's hand for a few seconds and walked away.
The group sat around one of the park's picnic benches , worn out from playing soccer.
"Hey, where's Matt"? TK asked, a look of concern spreading across his face.
"He went somewhere" Tai replied quietly. He neglected to mention Matt had been gone over an hour.
"What? And you didn't think to ask where he was going"? TK's voice raised slightly indicating his anger.
"He won't go jumping off a bridge" Tai shot back. TK looked hurt.
"Do you think we should try to find him"? Sora asked concerned.
"Yeah, I guess it would be wise to". Ken answered for Tai who was now looking decidedly guilty.
"Where should we start"? Davis asked.
"I can't think where he might have gone" Kari replied.
"Sensible place to start would be his place" Joe suggested.
"Oh Joe as usual you come up with the best ideas"! Mimi swooned.
"Please, spare us Mimi, I think I might be sick……" Tai tried to lighten things up with a joke.
Ten minutes later, the group were on there way to Matt's apartment. They were chatting together until they passed the graveyard where Izzy was buried. A silence fell as if they were all thinking about their friend.
"He doesn't deserve this silence" Tai muttered angrily. He would never forgive Izzy. Ever.
"It wasn't all his fault". Yolei said quietly.
"Yeah right" Tai's voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked out into the graveyard. He saw a figure stood by a gravestone. It couldn't be…..he looked closer…he noted the blonde hair and realised who it was.
"Matt……" Tai said.
"Huh, where"? TK asked.
"Over there". Tai pointed to the gravestone and the figure and the others all turned to see.
"What's he doing there"? Mimi asked.
"Izzy" Tai said under his breath. Before he knew what he was doing, he was striding through the gates and over to where Matt was standing.
The others followed and Sora ran ahead to stop Tai. She placed her hand on his arm.
"Tai, no, it's obvious he needs to be alone. Let him". She said quietly so as not to disturb Matt.
"Maybe we should listen to what he has to say to Izzy" Joe suggested.
The group sat down on two nearby benches, luckily Matt was too into what he was doing to notice them. They sat in silence waiting for him to talk. If he did.
Eventually he kneeled by the headstone , lowering his head slightly, and he began to speak, quietly.
"I don't know….why I'm here really…….it's funny Iz, I thought I'd hate you. Yet I don't….I know you weren't all to blame. You were drunk…..that I remember, you were all drunk. They pushed you into something you didn't wanna do. You couldn't think straight. I know that you didn't betray me on purpose. You were a good friend. And I'm sorry that I wasn't there to save you or even say farewell that one last time….maybe that's why I'm here…to say goodbye. You were always the smart, sensible one. On those adventures. You could always be relied upon to give us a theory……makes me smile when I think of it. That's the way I want to remember you…that's the memories I want to have in my heart. The good times. So I won't forget what happened that night. I know it will be with me always. But so will you……Izzy…you're my friend. I don't want to forget you. The others aren't here, I don't think they're on good terms with you. I don't care if they hate you, they can if they want to. What you must know. The most important thing, is, that I..Yamato Ishida. Don't hate you and I forgive you buddy. Friends forever. Hey, maybe you might find the time to watch over us too. You'll be glad to know the others, are being locked up for what they did. You helped me do that. It was killing me, driving me mental. Not being able to remember anything but the pain from that night, then I got your letter. It brought me through, helping me to move on. So thanks again for that. Anyway, I bet you're getting bored of me talking now. Remember you'll always be with me, in a good way. And, I, I want you to have this". Matt placed his harmonica on the grave. "Annoy everyone in heaven….goodbye my friend". Matt stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes. It was then he turned around and noticed the others watching, listening and now, crying.
Matt stared at them before running over and into the arms of his love.
"Tai………." He began.
"Sssh…Yama-chan….if you can forgive him, I do too. Everything's good now, and it'll stay that way". Tai hugged his Yama-chan.
"Always and forever"? Matt asked.
"Always and forever". Tai confirmed.
The others smiled as Tai's words echoed in the air.
THE END
Note: Ok, ok that was a totally soppy ending. Thanks for sticking with this fic though to get right to the end. So could ya do one little thing for me?, review?. I love getting feedbacks on my fics , good or bad, along as the bad is constructive, anyways gotta go , other fics in the pipeline to work on, until the next time, sees ya!
Yamato