Warning: I figured I may as well get around to posting this... it's script mode because it was originally just some stuff I wrote for a mailing list... Anyway, it'll have yaoi, hetero, and anything else I can think of so if that stuff bothers you, don't read. I hope the sign works. XD
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/ \ / \ / \ / \
| V | Welcome to the | V |
\ / PILOT \ /
\ / Episode of... \ /
\ / \ /
\ / Vile-Kun's Love Connection! \ /
\ / \ /
V V
*The crowd screams (from laughter, fear, or insanity is anyone's guess) as Vile saunters on to the stage, wearing a fancy purple tuxedo... and his helmet*
Vile Welcome to Vile-Kun's Love Connection! I am your host, the master of LOOOOVE... Vile!
Audience BOOOOOOOOO!!!
Vile Anyway... let me introduce you to my lovely guest... X!
X*looks around, startled, as he's tied to a chair and gagged* o.o;;;
Vile It's a PLEASURE to have you, X! ^_^
X... ...
Vile The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure. *jumps in to X's lap and sits there* ^_^
X*freaked look* ...
Vile*kicks his feet, sitting on X's lap* So, X! Tell me! When did you find out you loved me?
X...!?! *URF?!?!*
Vile Really? When you first saw me in my magnificent mecha?!
X*shakes his head, scowling through the gag* *MRF!!!!*
Vile I know... I was so manly and full of testosterone while sitting in that mecha! *cackle*
*The audience groans*
X... ... o.o;;
Vile OH! ... and in case you're wondering... ^_^ No, the size of the mecha wasn't to compensate for anything. Heh heh heh.
X... ... ... . o o { Help me...}
Vile So then, X! *leans close, straddling the captive reploid* How does it feel? Do I make you horny, baby? ^_^
X... ;_;
Vile Heh heh heh. ^_^
*Suddenly, Roll peers on stage*
Roll Um...? I thought you were going to interview him, not screw him on camera.
X... !?!?!
*The audience gasps*
Vile ROLL!? What are YOU doing here!? This is a yaoi mailing list!
Roll... I'm the producer of this show, damn it. I can be here if I want to!
Vile... why would you produce a yaoi show?
Roll... because I'm a young girl with rampaging hormones! Now shut your pie hole!
Vile... fair enough.
Roll Now are you going to answer my question!?
Vile*saucy grin as he traces hearts on X's cheek* I thought you liked this stuff!
X*twitchtwitch*
Roll... I refuse to visualize you naked.
Vile Then why did you hiiire me?
Roll I was drunk at the time.
Vile... Ahhhh, the wonders of alcohol. *grins at X* I bet you'd like it if I licked alcohol off of your hot... sweaty... NAKED body... hmmm?
X.... *sweatdrop*
Roll... if it was anyone but you, I'd pay to see that. Get off him and ask him some damn questions!
Vile Get him off?
Roll NO!!! GET OFF OF HIM AND ASK HIM SOME DAMN QUESTIONS!!!!
Vile... do I have to?
Roll... do you want me to use a can opener to cut off your-
Vile...*jumps off of X's lap* Damn you, evil woman, for denying me my love! *sits down, huffy, in his little host desk, shaped like a heart*
Roll*mutters as she walks off stage* Oye...
Vile*muttermutter* Thanks SO MUCH for ruining my first episode, you nasty tra-*sees Roll glare at him* er... lovely producer. ... so I'll just ask you some questions.
X...?
Vile Are you gay? ^_^
X... ... *sweatdrop*
Vile Do you like porno? ^_^
X... ... o.o
Vile Is Zero a stupid bastard or what?
X -!!
Vile NOTHING'S going on between you, right?
X... ... o.o;;;;;;;;;
Vile HEH! As if that pony tail bastard with artifical boobs on his armor would ever have a chance with YOU... eh, my little dumpling?
X....................................
Vile... this is truly a one sided interview... I guess it's because you're gagged, eh?
X... *glare*
Vile Well, it's to be expected... I mean, I did kidnap you.
*The audience gasps!*
Vile How else would I get him on the show!? He's so shy... it's PRECIOUS! ^_^
X... *rf* .
Vile Since talking is done... and this IS the LOVE CONNECTION... what say you and I... er... ... get to the good stuff? ^_^
X... . o O {... waaah...}
Vile Don't worry about that producer of ours... the nasty Roll... she's off getting drunk to get rid of images of me naked. ^_^
*The audience makes gagging noises*
Vile So... it's just... *crouches like a panther on his desk* You... ... and.... .... me...
X O.O;;;;;;;;
*Vile makes to lunge, but misjudges the distance and accidentally falls, face first, on to the floor with a loud CLANK!*
Vile... OW!!
X*looks around quickly, then bounces away, chair and all*
Vile*gets up* That hurt... even through the helmet! ... X? *looks around* X?! Where are you, love muffin?
*X is long gone; so's the auidence*
Vile... well, damn it!
*Vile glances about and notices Roll, passed out and plastered off stage*
Vile... bleh... well, the first episode was a bust but... we'll just try again! ... I'll just use cement blocks next time.
*Vile glances about, then grins at the camera, looking oh-so-sexy despite the large dent in his helmet covered by a Minnie Mouse bandaid*
Vile ... that ends this episode of Vile-Kun's Love Connection... despite the fact I didn't get any... *grumble* I'll see you next time... and hopefully with another bishie!