Deep Pools of Blue
Those blue eyes. They're the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. I could stare into them all day. I could stare into them forever. But that might give her the wrong idea. I don't want to seem like some creep who stares at her thinking about how much I'm in love with her. Wait! Love? Did I just say I was in love with Clare Edwards? No, I can't be in love. Elijah Goldsworthy does not do that. Not after Julia. But then again, I think I do love Clare. Everything about her is perfect and I've never felt for someone like how I feel for her. Not even with Jules. I mean, I know I loved Julia, but was I ever in love with her?
Dude! You need to move on. She's gone now and can't come back. Clare said she would give me some time but I still don't know if I deserve her after what happened to Jules. I know it's not entirely my fault that she died, but I still feel somewhat guilty. But I can't deal with the whole Clare thing much longer. She knew what my past was like, she knew how I felt about bullies, she knew just about every aspect of my life. Except for one thing, the most important thing, how much I love her.
Love her? Yes, I do love her. I don't just love her, I am absolutely, truly, and madly in love with Clare. I knew she liked me, maybe even loved me but in love with me? I guess I will find out with time. But I need to tell her how I feel. I can't keep her waiting or I might lose her. I'll tell her today, after school. I'll take her to the park, and sit her down at the bench table where we first kissed and tell her how much I love her.
I'm interrupted from my thoughts when I hear a loud bang on my desk. Oh right, I am still in English class. "What is your response Mr. Goldsworthy?" Ms. Dawes says.
Crap! I wasn't paying attention at all. I don't even know what today's discussion was about. I glance around quickly looking for anything that will help me. I look over at the board seeing if anything had been written about today's class but no luck. Right as I was about to accept my defeat the bell rang. The quote "saved by the bell" had never been so true.
I get up out of my seat and gather up my things.
Before I can even turn around I feel a tap on my shoulder. I already know who it is. The beautiful girl with the short, gingery curls. The girl with the big blue eyes, and the cutest smile, who just happened to sit behind me. I turn around to see her blue oceans staring at my green orbs. I almost forget where I am until she starts speaking.
"So, uhmm, Eli, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today?" she says nervously. Perfect! I can finally talk to her, just the two of us. "I would love to Clare. I needed to talk to you about something anyways" I say as I watch her eyes glisten and I can't help but smirk.
"Okay, do you want to go now, since there are no more classes?" she asks. I tell her yes and we walk out together to Morty. I love Morty. Sure he would break down a lot but half the fun was fixing him up. He's different, and not just because he is a hearse. Most girls would be afraid to ride in a hearse alone with a boy, especially a boy like me. One who dresses in all black, wears "guy-liner" and listens to screamo. But Clare isn't like other girls. She's special, and I love it.
As we approach Morty I quicken my pace and open the passenger door for her. She smiles and gets in. I shut the door and get in on the driver's side. I start the engine and drive out of the school's parking lot. The ride there was quiet. But it wasn't an awkward quiet, it was peaceful and it actually felt nice. I pull up to the park and get out quickly so I can open Clare's door once again but she beats me to it.
"You know Eli, I can open a door by myself" she says while walking with me towards the park entrance. I feel my cheeks get hot. Am I actually blushing, what is this girl doing to me? Please, please don't notice. She looks over and of course, she notices. "Elijah Goldsworthy, are you blushing?" she says with a huge grin on her face. My cheeks grow hotter. "Uhmm, n-no" I say looking down, trying to avoid eye contact. "Eli, I know you better than that, you always stutter when you're nervous. But I never knew you were one to blush, I thought that was my deal" she says. I can feel her eyes boring holes into my head.
I look up slowly, and sure enough her eyes take my breath away as always. We reach the bench and we sit down a few inches apart from each other. "So what did you need to talk to me about" she asks with curiosity written all over her face. I am relieved she dropped the whole blushing thing, but quickly realize what I am about to say to her and I get nervous again. "Clare I wanted to talk to you about" I take a breath, "Us" I finish. I look into her eyes and they look sad. Why would they look sad? I am about to tell her I'm in love with her!
"Eli, it's okay. You don't have to explain anything. I already know what you're going to say" she says the sadness still in her eyes. "You do?" I ask confused. "Yes. Remember what you told me in Morty, when you told me about Julia?" she says. I think back to what she's talking about.
"Oh, I get it. This is the part where you leave me here and I have to find my own way home, 'cause this is going to be the funniest joke ever. You're messed Eli" she says looking at me and then towards the window. "You're right" I say looking at her straight into the eyes "I am" I say then look straight forwards at the road, " I can't just be friends with you Clare" I paused, "I like you to much. But I can't be with you. I don't deserve you! I just-", I take a breath. I can't look at her, not yet. "This is where I killed my girlfriend" I say, remembering everything that happened that night. "E-excuse me!" Clare says and I can tell hear the worry and fright in her voice. "Last year we got in a fight, I said things I shouldn't have. She was really upset. Took off on her bike in the middle of the night" I take another deep breath, "Got hit by a car".
I can see her turn her entire body so she's facing me now, "I am so sorry" she says and I can tell she feels horrible. "Just like that, the closest person in my life was gone… because of me" I say trying to get enough courage to look into her eyes. "I had no idea" she says. "It's not fair" I turn my head and finally look into those deep blue eyes. "Why should I get to be happy?" I say.
"Yes, I remember" I say. "I told you I would give you time but I don't think you need it anymore" she says looking down. Maybe she does know what I'm going to tell her. "So I think we should stop being friends. We can ask Ms. Dawes for new English partners so we won't have to work together anymore" she says looking up. I can see the tears in her eyes. What is she talking about? That's the complete opposite of what I wanted to tell her!
"Clare, that's not-", I try to say but she cuts me off and says, "Save it Eli" as she gets up and walks away from the picnic table. What just happened? I run off trying to catch up with her, so I can make things right but she runs faster and faster and then everything else disappears besides Clare and I. We're still running as I call out her name "Clare! Wait!" I yell, trying to make her stop and turn around. She starts to fade into the white surrounding us. "No! Clare! Clare!" I scream.
I wake up practically jumping out of my bed and landing on the floor on my stomach. What's going on? I look at the clock above me and it reads 11:00am. I was dreaming? Wow. I need to talk to Clare. Now! I get up from the floor and grab my cell phone from my bedside table. I text Clare asking if she's awake. I get a text back saying she is so I grab my car keys, get in Morty and speed off to her house.
I get to her house and practically jump out of Morty before completely stopping and run to her front door. I ring the doorbell and wait about 20 seconds before ringing it again. I wait about another 10 seconds before going back down her front steps and over by the tree in front of her house. If I need to climb the tree to get to her, I will! Right as I'm about 10 feet up the tree I hear the front door of her house open. "Hello?" I hear someone say. "Clare!" I yell trying to get myself out of the tree. I see her come out from her house and over to the tree. "Eli? What are you doing?" she asks.
"Clare I need to tell you something" I say while managing to get out of tree. "Well I'm guessing it is pretty important considering you're here on a Saturday at eleven in the morning in your pajamas!" she says trying not to laugh. I try to get the words that I've needed desperately to say but they won't come out no matter how hard I try. "Are you going to tell me why you're here Eli, or are you just going to-", I cut her off by kissing her. It was probably the only thing I was capable of at the moment. After a few moments I pulled away and finally got the words to come out of my mouth.
"Clare Edwards, I love you. I don't just love you I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I've kept you waiting and I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I want us to be married someday, and grow old together until the day I die. I want to wake up every morning to your beautiful face and gorgeous blue eyes. I want to be with you through the ups and the downs and everything in between. I want to be able to call you mine. Clare Edwards, I'm in love with you and those deep pools of blue of yours. Will you do the honor of being my girlfriend?"
As soon as I began to give my speech, my heart was racing and my palms started to sweat. I look into Clare's eyes even more intensely then before and can see that the tears she had been holding back had spilt over. I didn't know if it was from happiness or sadness or confusion. I started to worry when she didn't respond right away. "Clare?" I said softly.
"Eli," she said slowly, "I'm in love with you too!" she said with a big smile appearing on her face. I swear I have never smiled so big in my entire life. I ran up to her and she met me half way to close the distance. She wrapped her hands around my neck and mine went around her waist as we kissed. She pulled away after a few moments and said "Elijah Goldsworthy, I would love to be your girlfriend". My heart practically exploded of happiness and I held her in a warm embrace. "I love you Clare" I say. "I love you too" she says.
okay so this was my first fanfic so PLEASE tell me what you think. i originally wrote it for my english class for a short story(: i know, im obsessed! i don't like the ending but what ever. KAY LOVE YOU ALL BYE(: