A rather random interaction between Ren and Kuea, as Kuea tries to help Ren during some confusion with her emotions.
These emotions were foreign to her. Why was her heart pounding so loud? Was she sick? Anxious? Scared? Worried?
All of it confused her. Coud was breathing perfectly well on his own. Actually, he looked as if he was sleeping. Her fingers hovered over his lips, awaiting the air to brush against her skin. He looked so peaceful.
Ren forced her fingers to stay in their stationary position, becoming increasingly concerned for the lack of air. Was he not breathing? Was the image of him breathing simply her imagining it?
Her hand cradled his cheek, uncertain if either his skin or her hands were cold. Her heart picked up in speed, his name beginning to bubble out her mouth, until-
"Ren?" The voice belonged to Kuea. Ren glanced in her direction, but said nothing. Instead, Kuea walked over and gently took her hand, pulling her away from the bed and out of the room.
Kuea pressed her thumbs against Ren's skin, primarily right beneath her eyes, and began to wipe.
It was then Ren realized she had been crying.
One would think to notice their own tears.
Kuea stayed silent, handing Ren a tissue instead.
"Here. Wipe your face, okay?"
She stayed silent but did as told, though it didn't slow down her pounding heartbeat.
The silence between the two carried on throughout the room, Ren taking a seat down at the closest table while Kuea stood near the doorway. She took a few peeks in before closing it and turning her attention back towards Ren.
"Are you all right?"
Her tone sounded hesitant, almost as if she didn't know how to approach the subject. Ren didn't look her way but nodded as a response. Truthfully, her heart felt ready to explode. How could anyone handle this sort of pain? It was unbearable.
She heard footsteps creaking against the wooden floor, Ren not sure if they belonged to Kuea or someone else. Rowan and Cisqua must have left to gather more food, or simply firewood, which left them alone here with Coud.
Without much warning, Kuea wrapped one arm around Ren's head, causing the young woman to stumble over her own feet.
"You don't have to lie to me, y'know. It's not your fault. No one would blame you for this."
Ren stayed silent, allowing Kuea to stroke her hair a few times. It felt as if she needed to take responsibility. She was there to protect Coud, and she failed to do just that. Of course, she felt just as drained after the fight, but she could simply sleep and regain her energy back. On the other hand, Coud was a human being, someone who didn't heal as fast as she did.
"I'm scared...of this happening again. What if I fail to protect him and it gets worse? Or...what if he ends up losing his life this time?"
"Hey, hey, hey!"
Before she could ramble on some more, Kuea spoke to slow her down.
"You know how tough that guy is? I mean, he surprises me with his determination that's for sure, but he'll pull through. And he won't die. We'll make sure of that."
"But...we don't know what the future holds."
"Exactly." Kuea said, giving Ren a few more pats. "The future could be overwhelming with happy outcomes, you never know!"
But it only caused Ren to think about the negative even more. She knew the reason that Coud always got hurt or threatened was because of what type of person she was. It never had anything to do with him; he was simply in the way. If she didn't React with him, if she didn't meet him at all, then he wouldn't be placed in such torture.
And yet, he always reassured her with a smile. Even after suffering with many injuries and fights he didn't even ask for, Coud didn't hesitate to try and make her feel better. He was awkward, and a bit strange at any other point, but he meant well.
He was kind. That much became clear.
Ren gripped onto her shirt, still keeping her eyes away from Kuea.
"My chest hurts. It feels as if I can't breathe. I-I don't know what's come over me. I don't understand why I feel this way."
Kuea took her time responding this time.
"It's perfectly okay to admit you're scared. It's a legit feeling."
Instead, Kuea took a step back to get Ren to face her. Her hands gripped Ren's shoulders as she wore a smile on her lips.
"You're scared, worried. You have no idea what's going to happen to you both in the future, and that's understandable. What happened pushed you over the edge. But I swear to you, that Rowen, Cisqua and I will protect you both will everything we have. You can rely on us, okay?"
Ren thought about the events that led up to this day, knowing that they were bound to be attacked eventually.
Yet this was a person with a strong Edel Raid, one that could exploit Ren's weaknesses from her attacks and defensive moves. In the end, she ended up using far too much energy to compensate and couldn't provide enough ample protection for Coud. Which, in turn, caused him to be on bed rest for a few days, possibly a week.
He hadn't woken up yet, but Rowen reassured them all that he was perfectly fine. All he needed was plenty of rest. But with people hunting them down, it would be hard to do so in a bustling town, so they had to settle somewhere private that they deemed safe. This cottage was the best thing they could find.
"Don't blame yourself for this either." Kuea continued. "They took us by surprise and we couldn't even help you efficiently. We were all unprepared."
From her tightening grip, and the low tone in her voice, it was obvious that Kuea felt partially to blame herself. But she was stronger and knew how to deal with her emotions better than Ren. She's been sleep for so long with this hatred for humans that she didn't even see caring for one in the near future.
And now, here she is, feeling wracked with so many emotions over a human boy that she didn't know how to process.
"I'm sorry, Kuea. I just don't know what to do."
"Let it out. That's all."
"H-How?" It hurt so much.
"Anyway you want."
Ren knew there was nothing she could do, the situation spiraled out of her control, but it didn't take away the fear, guilt and sadness she felt for Coud's condition. So she chose to the pain escape from her tears, Kuea pulling her in for a more formal hug.
It's been so long since she's let out a genuine cry. The last time she did was before she was put to sleep. There was so much anger then, but now, her tears were for someone she cared about. Someone she wanted to protect.
Someone she loved.
It made her chest burn.
But with Kuea, Cisqua and Rowen, she knew everything would be okay. Ren finally had people she could trust
And she wanted to keep Kuea close to her as possible, not even noticing Rowen and Cisqua returning. They didn't say anything, neither did Kuea, but their reassurances were obvious from the start.
'Thank you...everyone.'
