I didn't think that I would resume writing drabbles again after surfacing with "Help" last week. I hugely enjoy reading weekly challenges but I am trying to finish the stories that I started more than a year ago. Besides, I couldn't come up with any worthy storyline. But on Thursday morning the phrase, dropped unintentionally by my daughter, reminded me about something that happened in the past and the story was born. It ended up as a ficlet not a drabble but I hope you don't mind. In addition to the well known historical characters that accompanied Alexander in his conquests, this story also includes Mr. Stool - with a gracious permission of Classyblue, to whom this story is dedicated.
Alexander's birthday party was well under way when suddenly the king jumped from his seat and made a wide arc with his hand asking for silence. Miraculously, it was achieved relatively quickly despite a rather progressed level of intoxication among all the guests. Alexander happily smiled and addressed the audience.
"Dear friends, thank you for this incredible party you arranged for me and all the wonderful gifts you found for this occasion. I have one more request for you and was hoping that you would comply."
"There is nothing we wouldn't do for you," happily drunk said Harpalos, "what is your heart's desire?"
"I want you to play a game for me," smiling, answered Alexander.
"A game?" Erigyius giggled.
"Yes," confirmed the king, "I invented a game and I think it's going to be very entertaining and funny. I hoped that my friends would play it for me."
"For you or with you?" asked Philotas.
"For me," replied Alexander and those close enough to him could discern a mischievous light in his eyes.
"Of course we would play a game for you," Ptolemy agreed, "what are the rules and how many players do you need?"
"I am going to tell you right now," continuing to smile, Alexander turned to one of his pages and asked him to take care of clearing the space in the middle of the huge hall where the celebration took place. "I need twelve players and I want them to be Hephaistion, Cleitos, Ptolemy, Perdiccas, Philotas, Leonnatus, Nearchus, Erigyius, Laomedon, Craterus, Eumenus and Seleucus. But please all of you remain for now at your places with exception of Hephaistion whom I ask to come forward and stand by me."
Hephaistion, like the rest of the crowd, haven't had the slightest idea where his soulmate was going with this but he obediently complied. Alexander made a gesture to somebody and Hephaistion knitted his brows with an uneasy apprehension when he saw one of Alexander's pages bringing in his by now famous Nemesis, Mr. Stool. The page very seriously, maybe a bit too seriously to Hephaistion's taste, bowed and put Mr. Stool in the middle of the cleared space.
Hephaistion wished that the people around were more drunk that he knew them to be; in that case he could at least attribute their giggles and snickers to the utter state of inebriation. He turned with rather unhappy expression on his face to Alexander and opened his mouth to protest when his king said, "No, it's not what you think it is, I need your expert opinion."
The phrase, instead of calming Hephaistion, as it was Alexander's intention, sent him into the mixed state of humiliation and furor because now everybody was laughing openly and pointing their fingers at the distressed general.
"Silence!" suddenly roared the king. "The next one to utter any sound will be asked to leave this party immediately." Then he turned to Hephaistion and said, "I ask you to examine this very familiar piece of furniture and tell me if you see any changes since the last time you two met."
Hephaistion took a deep breath and stared at Mr. Stool; then he said, "Yes, there are these three slots in the seat which I don't remember seeing before."
"You were probably too drunk to remember them," mocked Eumenus.
"Guards," snarled the king, "please escort my secretary out of this hall. "Coenus, you would take his place in the game."
Eumenus tried to protest but Cleitos who was sitting nearby gave him not a very friendly push and quietly said, "You better learn how to accept a defeat gracefully." Secretary glared at the general and left the place without looking at anybody.
"You are right," Alexander happily smiled at Hephaistion as if the incident with Eumenus didn't even happen. "Those slots weren't there before. I decided to make some improvements to Mr. Stool's construction in order to help you in your next attempt to conquer it after paying a due tribute to Dionysus."
Alexander motioned to the page again who this time brought forward a decorated wooden board with three prongs at the bottom. The page slid the prongs into the slots in the seat of the stool and then bent down to fix the prongs in place with some sort of screw nuts.
Alexander nodded in approval and taking his sword out of the scabbard touched with its tip the top of the inserted board and said, "I dub thee Chair."
"Now what?" asked Hephaistion looking uncertainly at the new creation.
Alexander pressed his lips and putting a pensive look on his face, said, "I think he is lonely."
The room exploded with laughter but this time Alexander let it slide. "It's not what you think," Alexander continued to be very serious and motioned again to his helpers. This time five pages came in, each bringing two chairs. They arranged all eleven pieces of furniture in a circle with seats facing out.
"Now, let me explain the rules. The idea came to me while I was making this improvement to Mr. Stool's construction. As you can see and hopefully count there are twelve players but only eleven chairs. Before inviting the remaining chosen players to join Hephaistion, I want you all to give a round of applause to Agesistratos, the Chief Drummer of my Army and Brontos, his famous drum, with whose beat you all are familiar. But now they will help us not into the battle nor on a long march but in the game."
Alexander patiently waited while Agesistratos entered the room and settled with his drum in the place indicated to him by the king. Alexander then continued, "Before the game starts Agesistratos will turn with his back to the chairs so that he can't see what's going on. All the twelve players will position themselves around the chairs with their left side turned inward the circle and when on my signal Agesistratos would start to beat his drum, the players would start going forward around the chairs. When Agesistratos decides to stop drumming you have to sit on a chair. The player who is not quick enough or lucky enough to find himself one, will have to quit the game. After each round of the game one chair will be taken out of the circle until only two people and one chair left. The two remaining players will compete in the same manner for the title of the winner of this game."
"Are we now allowed asking questions?" politely inquired Seleucus.
"Yes, you can ask your questions now," graciously agreed Alexander.
"Will the winner be allowed to keep Mr. Stool as a prize?"
"No, Seleucus, Mr. Stool belongs to Hephaistion regardless of who the winner is .Each player exiting the game will be allowed to take one chair as a consolation prize. The winner gets the last chair and an amphora of Chios wine. The only one who doesn't get a chair is the player who looses to the winner. If those whom I named are ready to play, please come forward. If, due to some reasons you want to bow out now, please let me know and I will name your substitute."
"No, no, we all want to play," Perdiccas assured the king rising from his couch, "it sounds like fun."
Despite Perdiccas' enthusiasm the game started rather lukewarm and when the drum stopped, the players first stared in confusion at the chairs before them. Then, as if waking up from the sleep, they started to reach for the chairs pushing each other aside and sometimes making for the farthest chairs from their respecting positions for no obvious reason.
The first loser was Laomedon who admitted his defeat by loudly stating that he was too drunk to compete. He then looked askance at Alexander and after the king nodded, took one of the chairs out of the circle.
After the first round the game progressed rather vividly to the utmost delight and explosions of laughter from all those who weren't participating. The lightening speed of the response reaction masterfully honed by all the participants on the training grounds and during the battles more than compensated for their state of drunkenness. While Agesistratos beat his drum the players like hawks circled the remaining chairs watchfully following the movements of their opponents and positions of Mr. Stool and his newly created family, and when the beat stopped they went for the chairs as if their life was depended on it, pushing each other aside and not feeling scrupulous to use backheel or other foul methods.
Hephaistion, caught in the thrill of the game didn't pay much attention to who was still in the play and who had to leave until he realized that only Mr. Stool was left and the only opponent he was facing now was Craterus. The uncomfortable silence that hung in the room was interrupted by overconfident Craterus who asked the king, "So, Alexander, when I win this game, how are you going to resolve the problem of Mr. Stool's new master? You said that it always would belong to Hephaistion but the last loser doesn't get anything."
"First, you have to win," moodily said Alexander, "and then we'll see."
The drumming started and Hephaistion and Craterus began their cautious dance around the famous chair. Hephaistion liked to win as everybody else but he wouldn't mind to loose to one of his friends; loosing to Craterus though was a completely different matter. The two of them never got along and the fact was very well known in the Army.
The beating rhythm continued forever. Agesistratos, though unable to see the game himself, was told the name of each departing contestant and now knew very well who were the remaining two. Though wishing the victory to Hephaistion he had no means of influencing the outcome of the game by stopping the drum at the moment that was more favourable to Alexander's friend.
Craterus was the first to lose nerve and, anticipating the drum to stop any moment now, decided to secure the victory by intentionally closing the space between himself and Hephaistion and forcefully pushing his opponent aside and to the ground.
But they were not two small innocent children playing a familiar game. They were two seasoned soldiers with the survival instincts worthy of envy. Hephaistion may not have anticipated the push but his body did and a moment later he was on his feet and in a previous position again. Unfortunately, Agesistratos has chosen that particular moment to stop the drumming and Hephaistion furiously and as if in a slow motion watched as Craterus, positioned perfectly to sit on a chair, started to lower himself into it while Hephaistion found himself right behind the back of Mr. Stool.
Later on Hephaistion wasn't able to logically explain how it happened because he definitely didn't remember thinking about the solution that made him an undisputed winner. But he did remember how his hands, apparently on their own, grabbed the back of the chair and turned it 180 degrees allowing Hephaistion to sit on Mr. Stool in triumph under the sweet music of the loud thump of Craterus bottom hitting the floor with all the huge force of the unexpected descent.