Title: "Werepires"
Author: Pirate Turner
Dedicated To: This is the first story in my annual 13 days of Halloween series dededicated with endless love to my wonderful, beloved Jack and our darling children.
Rating: PG
Summary: Eddie brings his mate home for Halloween.
Warnings: Het, Crossover
Word Count: 2,099
Date Written: 3 September, 2011
Disclaimer: Eddie, Marilyn, Herman, Lily, and Grandpa Munster; Wednesday, Morticia, and Gomez Addams; all other characters mentioned within; The Munsters; and The Addams Family are ﾩ & TM their rightful owners, none of whom are the author. Everything else is ﾩ & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"You don't have to do this, you know."

"That's okay," she replied with an understanding, thin-lipped smile. "I want to electrocute your family."

He turned swiftly from his door, his pale, pointed ears pricking to alert. "What did you say?" he asked as his left hand nervously scratched a flea behind one of his ears.

She smiled up at him, her dark eyes twinkling like a starless night sky. "I want to meet your family," she answered as she remarked to herself that her love really could be quite slow and innocent despite the Werewolf blood charging through his young veins.

He smiled and turned back around, reaching for the screaming doorknob, just in time to have the door open and his human cousin step out right in front of him. Disgust flashed across the lovely, pale face of his chosen mate, but she quickly hid it behind her normal, calm, and expressionless facial mask that left every one guessing as to what she was really thinking. That look was one of the first things that had pulled him to recognize her unearthly beauty.

"Marilyn, where are you going?" Eddie asked with a welcoming smile.

"I'm going to meet my date," Marilyn answered, clutching her purse. "You know how it is, Eddie. The boys never stay around after they meet our family."

Eddie nodded in understanding. "They just can't compare," he admitted.

"I know," Marilyn agreed, "and I know they're ugly, but a girl has to start somewhere and I can't afford to be picky."

"That's true," Eddie said, his ears wriggling with his impatience and making his mate grin, "you can't. Marilyn, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Wednesday Addams."

Marilyn smiled and extended her hand. "I'm Eddie's cousin, Marilyn," she said by way of introduction. "I'm afraid I don't share the rest of our family's good looks."

Wednesday tore her eyes away from Eddie's enchantingly wriggling ears to focus her attention on the human girl. She clutched the black wires she had been working on in one hand, took Marilyn's hand in her free hand, and squeezed it. "That's okay. I'm sure you find another way to make up for your lack of curses." She smiled as she heard her bones beginning to break in her grasp and let go.

Marilyn thankfully jerked her hand back to her. She rubbed the hand Wednesday had grasped with hers. "That's some shake you have."

"Part of my family heritage," Wednesday commented with a knowing smile. Her black brows slightly arched. "So where are you and your date off to?" she asked idly, turning her attention back to the wires she was hooking to the light bulb on the porch.

Marilyn and Eddie watched the girl with interest. "We'll probably go to the skating rink and maybe grab a movie. They're playing the latest Scream movie."

"That franchise has so been done to death, and not in a good way." Wednesday's dark eyes glowed eerily. She attached two wires, and they sparked, lighting her entire face. She smiled dastardly. "A real killer would not have left so many victims still alive to continue the storyline."

"They do it to give him an excuse to keep coming back."

"He would not need one. He would simply find another neck to slice."

Marilyn shivered at the younger girl's cold words. She glanced at the wires, to the girl, to the wires, back to the girl, and finally to her little cousin. "Well, I - I'd better be off."

"Of course," Wednesday answered. "We wouldn't want you to be late."

Marilyn darted down the stairs, and Eddie turned to Wednesday. "I think that went rather well." He stepped closer to Wednesday. "What are you doing?" he questioned, watching her playing with the wires.

Wednesday's black lips curved further upwards. "Stop worrying, dear," she directed, finally leaving the wires alone and dropping all but one. Her long and slender fingers tucked a stray piece of Eddie's spiked hair behind his right ear. They both shivered as her fingers touched his lobe. Her smile filled her face as she scratched him, and his foot thumped the porch. "Your family will love me."

"Eddie, dear, is that you?" The teenagers whirled apart as a Vampiress swooped to the open door. The sun struck her pale face, and Lily shrank back into the darkness with a hiss. She raised an arm to block off the sun and greeted the couple again. "You must be young Wednesday. I've heard so much about you. It's simply dreadful to meet you. Do come in and join us for some spider cider and lady finger sandwiches in the parlor."

Wednesday's smile returned. She hadn't realized how hungry she'd been until she heard the details of the offered meal. "Thank you," she said, stepping into the Munsters' house. "It sounds absolutely horrible."

Lily smiled. "Thank you. I'm not the best of cooks," she admitted, "but I do think I have a certain cruel touch when it comes to lady finger sandwiches. I assure you both the fingers and the spiders are fresh."

Eddie grinned, his fangs gleaming in the afternoon sunlight, as he stepped into his home behind his two favorite women. So far, Wednesday meeting his family was going much better than he'd dreaded! He trailed behind his mother and his mate, listening to their idle conversation, until they stepped out into the candlelight illuminating the parlor. Wednesday turned slowly around, her dark eyes sweeping over their surroundings. There were cobwebs and antiques everywhere, and she could still see a few spiders hard at work. Her eyes met Eddie's, and she was about to make a comment when a huge roar sounded from the dungeon. "Spike?" she asked, and he nodded.

She smiled. "He sounds like he'd be real fun to play with." Her look and wink assured Eddie that, as much fun as his dragon might be to play with, she'd much rather play with his own wolf. Then she faced his mother again. "Your home is so disenchantingly horrible!" she spoke in awe. "It reminds me of my home. Tell me, do you do your own decorating, or do you hire some one?"

"I do it all myself," Lily answered, "and thank you. I just finished dusting."

Wednesday looked around her again in awe. "I don't know how you make it look so horrible. Mother also does her own decorating, but I'm afraid I don't have quite the same knack for dusting or for killing flowers." She reached out and touched the blackened bud of a nearby rose. It crumpled beneath her pale fingers.

"You'll learn," Lily assured the girl. "Why," she said, opening her arms wide and waving her pale hands around at the huge house's dark and dusty interior, "we could teach you."

"Would you?" Wednesday asked, looking up at her with a rare shyness which Eddie found most alluring.

"I would love to, and I'm sure your mother would as well. You look so familiar," Lily commented. "Tell me, what are your parents' names?"

"Gomez and Morticia Addams."

"Tish!" Lily cried in delight. "I haven't seen her in ages! We went to Transylvania High together back around, oh, I think it must have been around 1660 or so. Oh, the fun we had! It was perfectly monstrous!" She grinned, her fangs gleaming in the candlelight. "We must have your family over for dinner some time."

A moan had all three of them looking up. "Ah, Herman, dear, you're just in time to meet our son's paramour. This is Wednesday Addams, Herman!" Herman groaned. "Yes, dear, that's right, Gomez and Morticia's little girl!" He moaned. "Oh, I know, isn't the world just a dreadfully small place?"

Squawking resounded in the room as a bat flew down the staircase. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear," Lily apologized. "Where are my manners? I offer you spider cider and lady finger sandwiches and then forget to actually give them to you." She took a tray from a severed hand sticking out of the wall and offered its containments to Wednesday. "You must forgive me. I'm just so excited to be meeting Morticia's daughter after all this time! It really has been centuries since I last saw her! How is she doing?"

"As horrible as ever," Wednesday answered, examining the tray. "Ooh, this one's still trembling." She picked up a sandwich and bit eagerly into the wriggling finger. A decidedly feminine scream echoed through the house. "Disgusting," she announced with a grin. "Your hospitality is fine, Mrs. Munster, and it's such a dastardly deed to be meeting you all at once." She turned as Grandpa Munster, having just finished his transformation from the bat, came swooping forward.

"Quite the lovely, young neck you have there," he commented, gnashing his fangs at her. "I have to hand it to you, boy," he said, grinning at Eddie. "You know how to pick them."

"I have a present for you all, too," Wednesday announced. She took another bite of her lady finger sandwich, then spun, whipping the wire she'd carried in from the porch all about her beloved's family.

Herman groaned. "What are you about, Wednesday?" Lily puzzled aloud.

Grandpa rubbed his gloved hands together. "Okay, then, girl," he commanded, "let's have at your present then."

Wednesday smiled; withdrew the detonator she'd been carrying the entire time from within the folds of her simple, black dress; and hit the red button on it. Sparks flew through the wires tangling the Munsters' and her own feet and began shocking them all. Herman groaned in displeasure as the shocks massaged his entire, huge body right down to the bolts in his neck. "Oh!" Lily cried out, nearly dropping her tray. "Isn't this a most dreadful surprise?"

Wednesday grabbed the tray before Mrs. Munster could drop it, finished her lady finger sandwich, and picked up a cup of the spider cider. She smiled at the spider doing the back stroke through the cider, then promptly ate it as the shocks continued.

"A f-f-fi-fi-fine one, in-in-de-indeed!" Grandpa Munster complimented Eddie with a wink. "Th-The gi-girl's after m-my own heart!"

"With all due respect, sir," Wednesday commented, setting down her mug of spider cider, "I'm not after your black heart. I'm after your grandson's."

Lily nodded. Herman moaned loudly and grinned as tiny sparks shot out of the bolts on his neck. "With our cursing," Lily agreed with a smile.

Eddie howled. Wednesday had just enough time to give the tray back to the severed hand waiting for it before he picked her up and rushed up the staircase with her. His bushy tail was the last thing his family saw before he disappeared, carrying his lady love on into the night. Wednesday had dropped the detonator when Eddie had picked her up, and the shockings had ceased. Eddie's howl echoed back down to them, and the three Munsters left behind grinned at each other.

"He always has been so eager to have what's his." Lily's eyes shone with happy memories. "They remind me of when we were young, dear," Lily commented, wrapping her arms around Herman's massive chest. She lifted a hand and stroked his bolts with her sharp, black fingernails, igniting more sparks. "Do you remember?"

He moaned. "Of course I do," he answered and kissed her.

"You do realize, of course, that this means we'll have a new species soon?" Grandpa Munster mused aloud, though none of the lovers around him were listening. "I wonder. What should we call the offspring? My great grandchildren," he commented with a huge smile lighting his face. "Werepires or Vampwolves?" He nodded as he picked up the detonator again. "Definitely Werepires. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

When he didn't receive an answer, he finally glanced over to Lily and Herman. They were far too busy kissing passionately and sweetly fondling each other on the spot to hear what he was saying. He shrugged his shoulders and threw his cape back. "Bah! Young love!" Yet he was nonetheless still grinning when he hit the detonator's button and returned the thrilling shocks to himself.

Herman moaned. Grandpa screeched with the horrible pain rocketing through his body. Eddie howled as Wednesday bit his neck, marking him as hers forever more. Through it all, Lily smiled. Her family was whole. Her little boy was growing up into the best dastardly, young Werewolf for whom she could have hope!. He was happy now with his own mate, and he'd be happy forever more! She threw her head back, her fangs flashing as she screamed with the shocks rippling through her longing body. This was going to be the best Halloween ever!

The End