Title: That Was Love
Author: Lora Perry
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Summary: He fell in love with Sadie, a girl in his primary class, first. Then, for anger, for promise, for Aslan, for safety, for his sword; until finally, he fell in love with Narnia.
Author's Note: Response to Weekly Challenge #16 (Love)
He fell in love with Sadie, a girl in his primary school class, first. She was blonde, blue eyed and freckled, and that was love. He kicked her around the playground, and fiddled with her pigtails and ignored her when she talked to him. During the war the blitz devastated the school they had learned how to spell at; it also struck down her home, making her bedroom rain fire. It was the next day that Edmund's mother sent them to the countryside. He never learned if she survived, if she lived.
He fell in love with anger second. He sees the world through a fuzz of red, tinted with hostility towards all he encounters. He saw the pain that his scathing comments made Lucy feel, and he watched as she cried and that was love. He fiddles with deceit, making Lucy appear a fool, because Peter loves her more, and he's just so angry that Edmund doesn't care. He feels the anger, bubbling up from the furnace within him, chocking him at moments. He wants to let the anger go so many times, to relinquish it and release it, but he won't. In anger, Edmund finds solace. In anger, Edmund finds pieces and remnants of love. The anger bubbles up as he watches Lucy go into the wardrobe.
He fell in love with promise third. Sitting atop a carriage he pretended it was a throne, and that all the people of the land feared his power and position, and he was happy. The icy queen spoke of wonders that he could just feel becoming real in his palm. His heart thumped with the wonderment of possibilities that the queen whispered in his ear, and that was love. He saw all his dreams, of ruling over his siblings come true in those precious moments and he knew that he'd be feared and wondered upon, like no prince or king before. Later, during the trek to the witch's castle, the beaver's words haunt his every step in the heavy snow. He fears going forward, and he fears going back, and he fears staying still in the dark of the unknown. Edmund treks towards a diluted promise, and a love that now only haunts his memories.
He fell in love with Aslan fourth. The Lion, serene in his fierceness spoke to him things that Edmund would never repeat to any. The Lion, the greatest of all the creatures of the worlds, breathed on his face, and that was love. In the true king's eyes he sees unadultured, pure and unyielding love and his whole body aches and he falls to the ground and he weeps, loudly and childishly, before his savior and the Lion stands guard as Edmund releases all of his emotions, all of his fear. Soon, he will have to face the world, and the people that he has betrayed; he will have to look his sisters eye to eye; he will have to look at his brother and not break his gaze. Edmund, desperate, clings to the Lion's mane as they make their way down to the ruby red tents below.
He fell in love with safety fifth. In his brother's arms again, he sags in content, his aching body melding against the growing strength of Peter's body. His elder brother mumbled words of assurance in his ear and that was love. The soft feel of lush grass beneath his feet and the cool air around him remind him that again he is free of his bounds, free of the oppression he has long since been adhered too. In the security of his older brother's arms Edmund would let the whole world pass him by. But the moment is over and the war before them is daunting and dreadful. Edmund loves safety, but can feel it sift away.
He fell in love with his sword sixth. He slashes down the enemy like they are nothing. As anything other than a boy about to be king, Edmund would have screamed at the horror of the battlefield, but it is his people that he protected with his sword, and that was love. He hacks and hacks, blood splurting on him and he goes farther into the deep of the battle; someplace he promised Peter he'd never go. His sword is an extension of his arm, swift and silent as it protects the peoples of the land Edmund has only seen glances of. Before long, his sword will strike high and true, to protect the boy-man king that Edmund appreciates more and more.
He fell in love with Narnia forever. The people roar with approval as he ascends to the throne just to the right of his brother. Edmund looks out at the people, faces filled with glory and wonder and awe at their kings and queens, and Edmund knows that he would lay his life down for every single one of them. His heart is overwhelmed with passion for the country before him and that is love. It never wavers for one moments and over the years the love never changes, never lessens. His love grows more and more with every sapling that sprouts fruit, with every bird that learns to fly, with every liter of pups born to a member of his land. His love multiplies with every spring, with every moon fire night, with every snowfall. His love will speak through him for the ages, guiding him in ways that all his people love. They may adore Peter and his glorious battles; they may admire Susan and her beauty; they may befriend Lucy and her charm; but they love Edmund and his passion for all of them.
He fell in love with Narnia forever.