Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto..would be cool if I did though.
Warnings:...I'm only writing this once. There will, (one day) be lemons..there will be talk of self mutilation and depression and drugs used. I rated it M for a reason. So dont read this if you are easily offended. If you read a book at B&N that offends you, do you honestly write the author to flame them? So constructive criticism is always cool. If you hate it, okay, tell me why.
Uhhh.....this is my first fanfic, EVER. I'm still trying to figure out how to work the site and what not, so pardon me if shit gets a little fucked up..
Dedication: to all the amazing authors whose stories have inspired me to add one of my own to the mix.
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He slammed his fist into the unrelenting plastic, the resulting sting of ripping flesh only making him curse more.
It was nearing 2 a.m. And Sasuke was pissed. At himself, at his father, mother and brother, at his dealer for not having what he needed...at the whole damn world as far as he was concerned! Fuck them all!!
He sat on the ground, and stared at the mulch between his shoes. He was at the playground. The only place he could think of where he would not be bothered at this hour of the morning. His hands were trembling as he lit his cigarette, breathing that first wonderful lungful of toxins and exhaling a pungent cloud of smoke. His flat black eyes stared at the blue slide in front of him, the very slide that had been his punching bag for the past 10 minutes. The slide didn't look any different...but his hands sure did. His knuckles were missing flesh and were now bleeding freely down his fingers.
He sighed. Leaving his house at odd hours of the morning was now a habit for him. His parents were now long gone, as well as his relatives, his brother on the run, so he was left a considerable sum of money...he hadn't done a damn thing productive with it. Unless of course you count various drugs and alcohol a productive way to spend your money.
Since the death of his parents, Sasuke had given up on caring about anything. He had always wanted to outshine his brother, and impress his father...but now they were gone, and he was indifferent.
He had still managed straight A's after their death..not like it was hard or anything..school was easy. Then Spring Break had come...and the endless amounts of time in which to to do nothing had led him down a very dark path. To be perfectly honest he couldn't remember most of the past two weeks, and now the break was over and he was expected to attend school again, it seemed almost pointless to continue.
Sometimes life just seemed pointless.
The people in his school had either pitied him, worshiped him or hated him for his indifference. He had kept them all at arms length. Why would he need any friends? So they could betray him like his brother had? No thank you. Sasuke learned from his mistakes.
Sasuke pulled from his memories as he finished his cigarette in one long luxurious drag. Dropping his bud to the ground, he stood. Black hair draped across his face as he ran his hand up the back of his head, resulting in his classic 'duck butt' hair style. No one knew his hair was like that as a result of this very same nervous gesture. It was a habit that he barely even noticed anymore.
This motion, however, resulted in more stinging for his hands. He sighed, a little cloud of moisture clinging desperately to slightly parted lips. Might as well go back and shower. School will be starting in a few hours, Sasuke thought bitterly, and so he began his long walk back.
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He sat up, blue eyes gazing blearily at the offensive plastic object that had awoken him.
Damn, morning already...feels like I just went to sleep.. A fist came down on top of the angrily blaring alarm clock. Ugh, he thought. Time to peel my self out of the blankets and so he set about doing just that. It was very apparent to him that he tossed and turned a lot in his sleep, no matter how tired he was when he hit that mattress, he always awoke in a tangled heap of sheets and limbs, and could not figure out how he could have possibly moved so much.
Senior year is almost over, wont have to get up at this ungodly hour much longer..he thought as he finally made his way off the bed. He stood and looked at himself in the mirror. Disheveled blond hair stuck up in all directions, and was growing at such a rate that it had now grown past his ears. On his tanned and toned belly was a very spirally tattoo. It was still a little red, he had gotten it last weekend. He studied his face, it hadn't really changed much. He sighed, and shrugged as he ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe the longer hair will attract some ladies.. He smiled to himself at the thought and proceeded to get dressed for school.
Naruto wasn't really the type to spend a long time getting dressed or anything, he simply put on whatever pair of jeans he found first on the floor, a pair of worn out converse, a t-shirt supporting whatever band he was currently into, and a hoodie. Always the same hoodie, it was orange..his favorite color. It had holes in the cuff for his thumbs, a few burns from cigarette embers that had gone astray, and a few discolorations here and there from who knows what.
He made his way out the his bedroom door and into the living space. The 'living space' was more like a kitchen/dining room/living room all in one. One his right was a kitchen counter top, a stove, a fridge, a sink and a dishwasher. Almost directly in front of that was a kitchen island with two stools that served as a place to eat, although most of the time they ate on the couch. The couch was along the wall behind him facing the T.V. A coffee table was crammed between the two, and along the left wall was a sliding glass door leading out to the very small balcony.
Naruto lived here with his best friend, Kiba. They got this apartment over spring break, knowing they would be going to college together anyway, and this would be better than the dorms. Akamaru, Kiba's dog, was currently sleeping out on the balcony. He stretched, his back popping, and sauntered into the kitchen to grab a cup of ramen before class.
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Sasuke sat in the back of the class room. His whole body felt hot, he could feel his pulse thrumming in his ears. His head felt a little dizzy, and he felt as if he could fly. He had taken a few Vicodin and he was currently riding out a serious high. From the perspective of most anyone else in the room, he still looked like normal brooding Sasuke, not that anyone really looked close enough at him to know for sure. To most people, his little 'fan girls' included, he was just a name attached to some serious cash and a hot body.
He let his hand drift idly across his piece of paper, giving him the appearance of taking notes in the halfway darkened classroom. The overhead at the front of the room humming its electronic tune, his half stoned mind hearing it and trying to turn it into a song. He smiled to himself, a slightly manic looking smile, not that anyone had seen it, and continued to doodle. The random smattering of images on his paper consisted of tornadoes and screaming chibi versions of his classmates. As he drew these little people, he realized the one did not look the same. He looked up to seek out Naruto. The Naruto on his page seemed at odds somehow with his current mental image of him. Naruto had been his closest thing to a friend before his parents had been killed. Since then Sasuke had avoided Naruto like some form of bubonic plague, not wanting the blond to get to close lest he see the self destructive monster he had become. He had successfully avoided Naruto all spring break by going to the lowliest of places and drug houses. Naruto would never think to go to places like that to search for Sasuke. Hell, no one would expect honorable Uchiha himself to be stoned out of his mind on some dirty old couch or smoking with strangers.
Thats when he saw him, Naruto. Longer hair, thats what was wrong..no he was a little taller too, or was that just how he was sitting? Then Naruto turned and he was met with blue eyes staring directly into his own.
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He'd had a feeling, a nagging feeling for the past few minutes that he was being watched. So he turned
and had found Sasuke Uchiha staring at him, studying him. That wasn't really unusual, Sasuke studied everyone. He considered everyone a threat, and he studied them all. It was the fact that he was even looking at him that was odd. For over a month now he had avoided him. He had been worried about Sasuke since the day it was splattered over news that his parents and few close relatives had been slaughtered by Sasuke's own brother while Sasuke himself was still in the house. Sasuke never told police what happened, claimed he couldn't remember, shock they had said. They had claimed that shock would cause a person's brain to block out the unpleasant memories.
But the haunted obsidian depths that were now locked with his own pools of blue were anything but 'in shock'. In that moment those eyes spoke volumes. Sasuke had seen it all, and kept it all bottled up inside. The red tint around his iris's spoke of how he was avoiding breakdown, and how very stoned he was right now, and the deep purple coloring under his eyes told of how very tired he was of it all, of all the sleepless nights, of not remembering stretches of time. Yes, Sasuke Uchiha looked close to a breaking point in that one vulnerable moment. Then it was gone. The mask was up. Cold, irritated, calculating Sasuke stared back at him after that moment, and Naruto rolled his eyes and looked back to his notes, wondering what he should do.
Sasuke was the first out of the door when the bell rang, and he quickly made his way to his locker. He wanted to get his materials for his next class as quick as possible, hopefully avoiding Naruto in the process. He still felt as though he was in a numb sort of daze, so he wasn't really all too worried about Naruto, that would come later when he realized how Naruto had been looking at him. Nope, right now he was just following the old routine of avoiding everything with a pulse. So as he made his way to his next class, he didn't see the way Naruto watched him, studied him. In his haze he didn't notice a certain blond putting the pieces together..and that would prove to be a very grave mistake for the proud Uchiha.
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Naruto was exhausted, he had spent the whole day studying Sasuke, trying to figure out what was going on with him. It was a hard job. Sasuke sat in his desk, pretended to take notes, didn't talk to anyone, didn't so much at look at anyone else. These things were varying degrees of normal. Before his parents' death he had always been cold. He had ignored others, but he had done it out of arrogance. He looked at the other students in the room as if they were gum on his shoe that would not come off. Now he didn't look at them at all, he was practically pretending he didn't exist instead of the other way around. It was bothersome. Naruto knew that Sasuke was upset, that was a given, anyone would be upset. But when most people are upset they tell anyone who will listen, just to get it out. They turn to their friends, not run from them. Then again, Naruto hadn't really been Sasuke's 'friend' they had just started to talk after being in all the same classes this semester. Sasuke didn't really talk to anyone, and Naruto had just pestered the shit out of him until Sasuke figured it would be easier to talk to him than ignore him. They had really just clicked into an uneasy friendship. Sasuke, disdainful and competitive, Naruto, eager to prove himself and competitive. Test scores, who could take the notes quickest (you had to be able to read them..so Sasuke had always won that), who found the answers in the book faster, who solved the problem faster, who opened their bag faster, who got to class first, who was in their seat first, it ALL became a miniature competition. Then, Sasuke's tragedy happened, and he was out of school for a week dealing with the funeral and all, then things weren't the same. Sasuke no longer sat near Naruto, no longer even acknowledged him, no more simple contests...nope it was simply the ignorer and the ignored, and it sucked.
Naruto sighed, bringing himself out of his thoughts. He knew where Sasuke lived, maybe he could just drop by. yea and say what? Hey sasuke, just stopping by to see why you stopped talking to me, and why you look so tired. Or better yet, Hey Sasuke when you looked at me in 1st block this morning I had this weird feeling that you are miserable and that you saw everything that happened with your brother, why dont you open up to me, basically a stranger, since you wouldnt talk to the police or a psychiatrist? Even in his own head it sounded completely stupid.
I need to really think about this. I've got to find a way for him to open up to me.
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AN: so hopefully that was a good start, please review and let me know how I did, if i should give it up now. Possible ideas, things this may have made you think of, whatever. XD Just give me some feed back please.