Caged
for Static Lull.
Characters: Sirius Black & Emmeline Vance
Prompt: bird cage(s) and open wounds
--
There's a bird in 12 Grimmauld Place; an astoundingly tiny white dove, so perfect and fragile that it seems out of place. The bird cage sits in the room that contains the Black family tree, a room just as dark and dreary as the rest of the house.
It's late at night, much too late, you think, when you find him. You've just returned from a mission, and Sirius is sitting on the floor in the dark, leaning heavily against the tapestry on the wall, staring at the dove. The house is silent. You're quiet for a long minute; you don't quite understand. Why is Sirius, of all people, here?
You feel like an awkward child as you step up behind him, careful not to touch anything. This room has a sense of haunting, a melancholy feel of despair that you can't quite shake. You don't like it, but you can't get rid of your curiosity. You take your seat, leaning against the wall next to him. The bird cage divides you, and the dove is motionless, its eyes open wide.
Sirius doesn't move. His long, shaggy hair is falling in his eyes; it's almost like a shield. You think for a moment about what he's trying to protect himself from, and then shake your head quickly. That's a stupid question.
You're older than the man in front of you, wiser perhaps, but you remember him from your school years all the same. He was so carefree then; a ladies' man, to be sure, but happy and spirited and fun. Sirius had always gotten into trouble, along with James and Remus, but his loyalty and intelligence had never been doubted.
This man sitting in front of you is nothing like the child he was.
It takes him a good few minutes to notice you. His fingers were gripped tightly around the bars of the cage, and the bird inside was watching him with a quiet trepidation. His eyes were black and weary, and you sigh inaudibly as you realize he's been crying.
Sirius looks up at you, and you stare back, cautiously but steadily. This man is broken, you know; but he's harmless... You had been one of the ones who had doubted his guilt, when he was thrown into Azkaban. You hope he knows that.
You're startled when you notice he's whispering something, so quietly you can barely hear it. You lean forward, closer to him, and it still takes a minute for you to understand his words.
"I-It was m-me- me. B-blo-blood-"
His words are so stilted, so broken, that you're not shocked to see his whole body is shaking, trembling violently. Without a second thought, you reach out and grab his hand. You're no good at this type of thing.
You'll try anyway.
He stops whispering at the contact, and he scrambles to hold your hand tighter, as if your touch is the only thing holding him down. You let him squeeze your hand as hard as he needs to. It's the least you can do.
You sit in silence like that, him holding your hand and you watching him closely, for what seems like forever. You're surprised when it's him that breaks the silence. This time his voice is more composed; but the same heartbreak is laced within the words, and you see both the hope and despair in his eyes as he looks up at you. Pleading.
"Lily and James," he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. "T-They're d-dead- betrayed-"
You're stunned to silence, unsure of how to respond. You decide to go with what your heart says, as cliché as that sounds. You take a deep breath. You can do this. He needs you.
You nod slowly at him, and you see his eyes widen in fear; but your next words soothe him. "Not you, Sirius," you say, looking him in the eyes, brown meeting black. "It wasn't you."
Sirius hesitates for a moment, as if considering your words, and then he nods. "N-Not me," he confirms, his hands shaking again. His head turns, and looks at the bird again.
He continues, and you have to hold back your tears. You've never been one for crying.
"T-They locked me in," he whispers. He's pleading again. "I- I was l-locked in- I couldn't g-get out-"
It only takes you seconds to realize he's talking about Azkaban, but he's continuing now. You pay attention, blinking back your tears. Weakness won't do now. It's your turn to be strong.
"Just like him," Sirius says, his voice a little stronger now. He nods to the bird, who is perched at the edge of the cage now, his beak poking through the bars. "He's caged in too-"
He lets go of your hand abruptly as he rips open the cage door. The small bird flies out, as fast as the wind, and is stopped once again by the four walls that seem to contain him. You watch the dove bounce against the tapestries, and you almost have to laugh at the irony of it; yet another, controlled by blood.
Sirius is shaking again, watching the bird, and you take his hand once more. He calms again, after a few minutes, and your heart is breaking all the while. Was this what Azkaban does? Break men so completely, that they don't know who they are anymore?
You already know the answer.
You stay with Sirius that night, sitting in the tapestry room, whispering words and bringing him back to his senses. He slips away more times than you care to remember, and you lose count as the darkness fades into morning.
When you begin to hear noises in the house, you get Sirius off his feet and lead him up the steps, shooting glares at anyone who begins to ask questions. He is shaking slightly, still dazed; but you don't mind in the least. It only takes you a minute to find his bedroom, and you leave him there, not before placing a small kiss on his forehead.
No one should be left alone, with open wounds, you think. It's the least you can do.
--
Please review.