Far Away

Summary: Derek's thoughts of when Meredith was fighting for her life and what happens after. MerDer.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. If I did Addison wouldn't have been introduced.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case theres just one left
Cause you know,
you know, you know

He pulled her out of the water. He was the one who gave her CPR. He should be in there with her, trying to save her. Running his hand through his hair while pacing outside the emergency. Meredith was in there fighting for her life and he couldn't do anything about it.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming youll be with me
and youll never go
Stop breathing if
I dont see you anymore

Meredith wasn't breathing when I brought her in. I won't be able to live with myself if she dies. She almost died a year or so ago when she was holding that bomb inside that man's body. I was so scared. What if she died then? What if she dies now?

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, Id withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
Id give it all
Id give for us
Give anything but I wont give up
Cause you know,
you know, you know

"Derek you have to calm down, this isn't helping Meredith." Derek's ex-best friend said to him.

"I have to go in there and help her Mark. I have to save her." Derek said.

"You already did save her, you pulled her out of the water. If you weren't looking for her she would still be at the bottom of the pier. Besides your in no condition to go in there"

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming youll be with me
and youll never go
Stop breathing if
I dont see you anymore

I almost lost her to our vet, whats his name? Oh yes, Finn, Meredith's McVet. I had let out a sigh of relief when I heard they broke up. She can't die now, not when she has her entire life ahead of her. I have so many things I have to tell her. She just has to come back, she just has to.

"CODE BLUE!!"

I jumped to the door as soon as Bailey said it and I watched them shock Meredith.

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

Meredith's family, her fellow interns, are waiting just outside those doors down the hall. They would be devastated if she doesn't make it.

Bailey shocked Meredith again and they got no response from her.

"Try again" A voice behind me said. I turned around and there stood Christina.

"Try Again!!"

They tried again and then waited and waited. I had tears flowing down my cheeks as I watched the flat line go across the screen.

I wanted
I wanted you to stay

Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
Cause Im not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

Derek tried to keep his emotions in check but he couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks.

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

"She's back!" Bailey said

I watched as the pulled the tube out of Meredith's throat. They checked her vitals one more time and then they filed out of the room and left me alone with Meredith.

I walked over to her bed and pulled up a chair. I sat down next to her bed and grabbed one of her hands. I pulled it up to my mouth and kissed it. I looked at her face and couldnt believe she was dead only minutes ago. I looked back at our clasped hands and sat there for a while until I heard some moaning. I looked back up to Meredith's face and saw her trying to open her eyes.

"Come on Meredith your brain works, form a word." I said. I stood up so I was hovering over her still holding on to her hand. I used my other hand to brush some of her hair away from he face.

"O-uch" she moaned out. I laughed a little and then her eyes flickered open completely.

"Der-ek" Meredith tried to say

"Shh. It's okay." I said

I felt her shivering against me as she said "I'm cold" I climbed into the bed with her and rubbed my hands up and down her arms to warm her up. I kissed her before I wrapped my arms around her. We both fell asleep very soon afterwards.

Please review!

This is my first Grey's Anatomy fanfc so please be kind in the reveiws. Thanks.