Sora's Grand Adventure: The Thanksgiving of Doom II
I don't own anything.
"Road trip!" Sora announced aloud. Sora, Kairi, Riku, Cloud, Tifa, and Trunks all assembled into one tiny blue Toyota, for this was a trip for the holidays.
"Is everyone ready to go to Disney Castle?" Kairi asked the cramped travelers in the back seat. Trunks and Cloud both sat on opposite ends, while smashing Tifa up against Riku.
"I've never been so close to a woman as beautiful as you," Riku chuckled stupidly. Riku quickly got a boot in the mouth from Cloud.
"Shut up fat head!" Cloud commanded.
"I'll take that as a yes!" Kairi chirped cheerfully. "Hit it, Sora!" Kairi said with a kiss to her husband's cheek.
"All right! Thanksgiving dinner, here I come!" Sora declared. He jammed his foot on the gas and shot off as fast as a used Toyota could.
"Ninety-nine bottles of milk on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of milk-" Riku sang.
"Buarg! You've been singing the same line over and over again! You're supposed to gradually decrease the number of bottles on the wall!" Trunks explained.
"What does 'gradually' mean?" Riku asked. "Does it half to do with my visible midriff?"
"Gah! I think my ears are bleeding!" Cloud cried. Tifa calmed her husband by stroking his spiky hair.
"I'm this close to going Super Saiyan all over your candy-" Trunks was cut off.
"Hey guys, we're here now," Sora announced.
"Isn't it great?" Kairi begged with a beaming smile as she stared at the back seat passengers.
"Yeah," the four mumbled.
The gang unloaded from their car, with the four back seat travelers most pleased, and headed on towards the front door.
"Welcome!" Mickey exclaimed as he burst through the front doors. Donald and Goofy stood at his sides.
"Thanks for inviting us, Mickey," Sora said. "The others really enjoyed the ride here."
Sora's friends all glared at the back of his head.
"Here's the dinner table," Mickey affirmed, leading the gang into the dining room.
"Where's the food?" Sora asked worriedly.
"I don't know," Mickey replied. "Minnie should be coming out any minute now." At that moment, Minnie did come out, but with tears running down her face.
"It's horrible! My Thanksgiving dinner is scattered around the house! You guys need to go get the ingredients and bring them back here," Minnie explained the mission.
"This sounds like a video game," Tifa said.
"We'll do it! I'll split us up into teams!" Sora said, naming himself official leader. "Me and Trunks will search for stuffing, Cloud and Kairi will search for the cranberry sauce, and Tifa and Riku will search for the mashed potatoes."
'Why am I stuck with this twerp?" Tifa demanded as she pointed at Riku.
"Why am I stuck with this hot babe?" Riku demanded. Cloud punched Riku in the back of the head. "Ouchie!"
"I'm leader, and I call the shots, so go find my thanksgiving dinner!" Sora ordered as loudly as he could.
"Donald and Goofy, you guys will cover the turkey," Mickey assigned.
"You can count on us, your majesty!" Donald replied with a salute.
"Huh-huh, I can do it! I can do it nine times!" Goofy laughed. The dynamic duo scuttled off to achieve their mission.
Sora and Trunks stood in a bathroom, gazing about for any clues.
"Why would stuffing be in a bathroom?" Sora pondered seriously.
"Why would our thanksgiving ingredients be scattered around a castle?' Trunks asked sarcastically. "This is probably the stupidest quest I've ever been on."
"Oh, come on, this'll be fun!" Sora asserted. The two continued checking the shower, the cabinet behind the mirror, the sink, etc.
"Are we having fun yet?" Trunks asked.
"We need to check one more place," Sora said. "The toilet."
"I'm not doing that," Trunks replied. "You're leader, so you have to do it."
"No, I'm dictator, and you're my uneducated peon," Sora responded. "So get to work, peon!" Sora commanded with a finger pointed to the toilet.
"….," Trunks sighed. He used his finger tips to slowly pry up the toilet cover, when something forced open the lid and jumped upon Trunks. "Buarg!"
"How dare you spy into my home!" the creature spoke. He was an alligator swordsman! He's an alligator, with swords!
"You live in there, with poop?" Sora asked skeptically.
"No one uses this toilet, you nincompoop!" Alligator replied angrily. "Now leave while I'm still in a good mood."
"You're still standing on me," Trunks said, though no one paid attention.
"Well we're looking for turkey stuffing," Sora explained. "Do you has?"
"First, I must explain my story. I've lived in this toilet for thirty years," Sora and Trunks both made faces of disgust," my teeth have grown weak, and I need this stuffing," Alli explained his sad story.
"I don't give a crap about your grandma teeth! The stuffing will be MINE!" Sora declared ferociously.
"You are such a jerk!" Alli cried with tears in his eyes.
"Well you're a hotdog humping doodoo brain!" Sora retorted.
"I'll make you eat those words!" Alli proclaimed as he fell into a battle stance.
Trunks was finally able to scramble to his feet and asses the situation. "Buarg! His power level is increasing dramatically! It's… it's… OVER 9000!" Trunks exclaimed.
Sora smirked. "Well my power level's over two million, and I can go Super Saiyan!" Sora replied with a golden flash of power. Super Saiyan Sora!
Alli rushed forward to slice Sora, but Sora grabbed his throat and squeezed, popping Alli's head right off his shoulders. Magically, a bowl of steaming fresh stuffing appeared on the bathroom counter. Trunks picked it up.
"Alright!"
Elsewhere, Riku and Tifa checked a wardrobe, scouring the clothes and doors for the illusive mashed potatoes.
"Man, it's sure glad you're married, cause other wise I'd be tempted to totally hit on you," Riku was saying.
"Shut up, moron," Tifa replied angrily. They looked some more. Nothing.
"I mean, you are so fine!" Riku went on. Tifa growled and clenched her fist.
"Maybe in here?" Tifa wondered aloud, stooping over to check a shoe box. Riku looked at her butt. "Nothing in here-" Tifa began, when she saw a mirror, and Riku's roaming eyes in the reflection.
"That's it!" Tifa yelled as she spun to punch Riku straight in the nose. The white hair pretty boy flew right through the wardrobe wall, where Tifa noticed a bowl of warm mashed potatoes. "Bingo!"
In an entirely different area of the castle, Cloud and Kairi searched a large, dark ballroom.
"I don't see anything," Kairi spoke, her voice echoing through the room. "That's creepy."
"There's a chest over here," Cloud says. He and Kairi pull the lid up, Fallen Angel began playing, and a tall figure jumps out! Sephiroth.
"I've been waiting for you, Cloud," Sephiroth said in his usually dramatic voice.
"Don't you ever give up?" Cloud sighed. "We're here for cranberry sauce, so don't get in our way."
"I've absorbed the cranberry sauce into me, I will travel the stars with it as my vessel!" Sephiroth declared.
"Cranberry sauce?" Kairi asked.
"Indeed," Seph replied. "No prepare to die, Cloud!" Sephiroth yelled. He lunged at Cloud with his long sword, while Cloud suddenly pulled out his buster sword, and the two ran around the ball room trying to kill each other. Kairi sat down and sighed.
"Men are so typical," Kairi whined. "All they want to do is kill each other, fart, or have sex." Suddenly Kairi began missing Sora. She stood back up. "This is Thanksgiving! I should be stuffing my face with Sora next to me!" Kairi ran to the light switch and flipped it on. The light was quite sudden, and Sephiroth was blinded.
"Oh my eyes!" Seph cried out. He had been running along the wall, but the blinding light caused him to stumble and fall right onto his sword. 'Crap!" Seph whined. He wrapped himself with his one wing and poofed away and the music faded.
"Thank God that's over," Kairi said. A can of cranberry sauce fell from the central ceiling light, right into Cloud's hand.
Once more, in somewhere totally somewhere else, specifically the kitchen, Donald and Goofy checked fridges, cabinets, and everything in between for a turkey.
"Where could the turkey be?" Donald wondered.
"Maybe we don't need a turkey," Goofy said. "Aren't there any other birds around here?"
Donald looked around. "I don't thinks so." Goofy looked at Donald for a while, when something dawned on him. Donald looked back at Goofy. His eyes widened.
Finally, everyone arrived with there part of the meal, Trunks with the stuffing, Tifa with mashed potatoes, Cloud with the cranberry sauce, and lastly, Goofy with a well cooked turkey. Everyone sat down, joy abounding, with Kairi and Sora hugging, Tifa giving Cloud a peck on the cheek, and Trunks rubbing in Riku's loss to a woman. Mickey noticed the empty chair.
"Where's Donald, Goofy?" Mickey asked.
"He's coming soon, you're majesty," Goofy laughed. "You should go ahead and carve the delicious turkey."
"I hope Donald doesn't mind," Mickey said shrugging his shoulders. He began carving up the turkey, and serving it to everyone. Everybody took a bite and noted on it's fine flavor.
"This turkey tastes great, Goofy," Mickey said. "Did Donald help with this?"
"He worked the hardest for this," Goofy said.
"I wonder if you bothered to put stuffing in here?" Mickey said. He reached in to the bird and plucked out a greasy, blue sailor hat. Mickey's eyes nearly popped out of there sockets. Everyone else saw and stared at Goofy.
"Huh-huh. Surprise," Goofy laughed. Everyone had a look of disgust. But, Cloud took another bite.
"Donald taste pretty freaking good," Cloud said. Everyone laughed and continued eating.
The Moral of the Story: 1. Don't scatter your Thanksgiving meal across the castle, 2. When facing a murdering psycho path, turn on the lights; the can't stand it, and 3. Be thankful for every meal, even if it's a close friend.
The end, and Happy Thanksgiving.
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