There he was with his back to her looking out the window so many thoughts flying through his mind, what does she see in me? I have never been anything but cruel to her, not one smile, not one caring glance then his feelings poured through his thoughts. How I would love to turn around and take her in my arms and tell her what I truly feel about her. Snapping back into reality he thought to himself I can't I'm to afraid , afraid of hurting her in the end, I wouldn't be able to live with my shelf if I did.
There I was standing watching him stare out the window wishing I could hear all his thoughts, what was he thinking, was it about me, about what I said? I stood there waiting for a reaction for so long I wondered if I had actually said it, if I was even really in the room with him. I had just told him that I was in love with him. After what seemed like eternity he turn around I gasped, I did tell him and we were in the same room. Oh I wish I knew what he was thinking with that thought I just looked at him trying to read him. He was so hard to read but there was a softness to his usually harsh scowl it almost was a look of sadness. I tried looking into his eyes but they were hollow holes of sheer blackness they still looked beautiful to me I thought and smiled to my shelf.
"Hermione," Severus said with such a softness in already amazing voice.
Holy Shit, I thought he just said my name not Miss. Granger, not Know-it-all, just Hermione. It took everything in me not to ask him to say it again but I didn't have to. "Hermione," I heard him say again bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Yes Severus," I said looking at him, I think I saw a faint smile on his lips not a smirk but a smile.
"Hermione," I said it again after taking notice that she liked it when I said it, but how wonderful I felt to say it to call her by her given name. "You just said you were in love with me knowing all horrible things I've done in my life. I do not deserve to be loved not by anyone or anything especially by you. Your young, beautiful and brilliant why would you even began to waste your time with me". It pained me to say these things to her but looking down I continued.
"I deserve no joy in my life for all the sorrow I've caused others" he looked up. She was shaking her head as if she was saying no, he continued knowing how much everything he was saying was killing her as much as him. "You don't understand I deserve no happiness, Hermione if you allow me to love you I would only cause you the same pain I've caused others and I couldn't bare it."
I cut in "Not loving me will cause me more pain than loving me ever will I would rather have pain caused because you loved me than living without your love and baring the pain from that". I said as I started to walk towards him but stopped when I saw him tense a little. "Severus don't you understand! It doesn't matter the horrible things you did in your past, you have done nothing but redeemed your shelf by working as a spy. You have endured more pain doing that then you ever caused anyone. Damn it Severus! It's your turn to live your life, to be human, to love and to be loved. You don't have to prove your self anymore. Stop being so afraid to love just cause your afraid that people will think that you don't regret the things you did, your not that person any more." Then with my voice barely above a whisper, I said "Please Severus love me like I love you, with no fear with all of my heart and soul, please."
I thought she is so beautiful how do I resist her. When all I have to do is say three words (I LOVE YOU) and she would be mine. Oh how long I have wanted her with that thought I said "Hermione." Stepping closer filling in the space between us, she was looking down at the floor and I bravely took my hand and lifted her chin till she was looking me in the eyes. We both shivered at our touch then with my voice as deep as it could go knowing she would like it.
I asked "Will you have what is left of me, half of my heart and soul feel as though they are missing piece. I want you, no I need you to make me whole again. I need your love, I want to love you so much and I am finally willing to love you back. No more fears please."
I pleaded one last time "Take what is left of me." I quickly looked down to hide my tear filled eyes.
Yes Yes Yes! I thought finally, all the words he was saying were replaying in my mind. He just stopped and looked down to hide his tear-filled eyes tears for me, my heart ached at the sight .I took my hand and lifted his chin to where his tear-filled eyes were staring at me. My eyes filling with tears also, all I said was 'Yes" and took his face in my hands. I wiped his falling tears with my thumbs and kissed the fallen tears leading myself to his lips to kiss them. This kiss will never be forgotten, ending my thoughts, I kissed him deeply, passionately. I never wanted it to end but I pulled away and said, "I'm taking all of you and I will make you whole again" with that he kissed me.
