TwiDuck

This Story is just a comedy take on Twilight and don't take it all seriously and send reviews complaining how rubbish the storyline is because I don't care xD Lol it's just a sketch J

Chapter 1 ~

Twilight from a duck point of view~

Hi, I'm Quacky, the Twiduck! This is twilight from a ducks point of view. And let me tell you this its not as lovey dovey as they make out!

Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start J Yes, I was there when Bella first left Florida and moved to Forks. I was flying over the very aeroplane that took her there. Actually I have a bit of a confession to make about that. You know that shit on the window? Yeh, well sorry but that was me. Well when you got to go you really got to go. I got caught short. Yes it happens to us ducks to!

Anyways back to the story… I met up with Bella again on the first day of school. Hey did you see the film? Well look closely at the top left of the screen. Yes, you've guessed it… It's Me! My big break, I'm sure I'll get talent scouted by some big producer soon. Hollywood here I come J

Well, I followed Bella to her Biology lesson and watched in from the window. Lucky fucker she was only sat next to Edward Cullen. The Edward Cullen! You know the one, tall dark and handsome. Basically the hottie. Oh my god if only I was human…

You could see the look on Edward's face though

"WTF… Why do I have to sit next to her!" he was thinking. Oh yes he tries to pretend that's not what he's thinking with all the 'her blood smells so sweet I can't resist' rubbish. I know what you were really thinking… I got you sussed Edward Cullen.

The rest of that lesson was boring. Bella feeling sorry for herself because her only friend was Mike Newton. Well you can't really blame the girl then. She finally left school and headed home. That damn truck so slow…

Hey did you know that Bella has a pet cactus? I'm not sure if it mentions it in Stephanie Meyer's account of what happened but in the movie it shows it once. I think this isn't fair on that poor cactus so I'm going to make it known in my story. I shall call it Cacty. Bella does actually rely on that cactus loads. When she came home from her first day she started reciting Romeo & Juliet to it. She was Juliet and Cacty was Romeo.

Bella poor deluded girl didn't realise that Cactuses can't speak cried her eyes out when he didn't reply. Well that was the end of their beautiful relationship. I told them it would all end in tears.

Well moving on in Bella's story. She's been through the loss of her one true love Cacty, she has been rejected by the biggest hottie in school and her only friend is the biggest looser in school. Things aren't looking to good for Bella right now. Surprised she didn't turn emo.

But no Bella fights on till finally Edward starts talking to her. After a hunting trip (well at least that's what he's calling it more like a trip to the physiatrist) he finally plucks up the courage and says hello. I will write out now what he said to Bella and what he actually meant.

Edward said: Hello

Edward meant: Gawd I'm going to have to talk to you…

Edward Said: I didn't have chance to introduce myself last week.

Edward meant: I was to scared to talk to you last but after a long chat with the physiatrist I know have the courage.

Edward Said: Ladies first partner, or I could start if you wish?

Edward Meant: I want you to go first but please don't kill me if you don't want to

Edward said: Forks must be a difficult place for you to live

Edward Meant: This is my town not your, bugger off!

Well I hope your more clear on what Edward was really like at the beginning of their relationship now J Read on to find out what really happened later on…

Your Sincerely xD

Quacky, The Twiduck