Sam was seated in the car across from his brother playing the words Dean had just spoken to him outside the hospital over and over in his head.
He had no clue where they were headed but knowing Dean it would be somewhere secluded where no one would notice the flames when Dean burnt his body after he had-, Sam couldn't finish the thought.
Sam replayed the conversation for the hundredth time. Dean could never trust him again; he couldn't go on pretending that he still cared for his little brother. Sam had no doubt that his big brother was going to follow through on what he had said in the voicemail, he had said as much when he told Sam that he had a hard time forgiving and forgetting.
Sam was brought from his thoughts as Dean swung the Impala into a motel car park. He looked over at his brother in surprise only to see the same disappointed, sad look on the older man's face.
"We'll stay here tonight, go back and see Bobby in the morning." Dean stated as he pulled the car to a stop and got out heading to the reception.
And that's when it clicked for him. Dean was going to give him a chance to say a final goodbye to Bobby before he did what he needed to do. Bobby had said he wasn't cutting Sam out and Dean would want Bobby to at least have a chance to say goodbye.
A few minutes later Dean returned and went straight to the trunk to grab his duffle. Sam exited the car and went to grab his own. Sam followed his brother to the room and the two entered in silence.
Dean threw his duffle on the closet bed, scrubbed a hand down his face before turning to Sam.
"I'm going to go grab some food from that diner we passed." Dean stated.
Sam nodded and Dean left pulling the door shut behind him.
The younger hunter went to his own bed leaving his duffle at the foot of the bed. He sat down and left out a weary sigh.
The thoughts of what was going to happen tomorrow had him in a cold sweat. If he did the job himself there would be no more waiting and he'd spare his brother the horrible task ahead of him. But that was a coward's way out and he was a Winchester not a coward.
The longer he thought about it the more his instincts of self preservation were starting to kick in. He could grab his stuff, steal a car and run. Go into hiding. That though was just him being selfish, he couldn't do that to his brother, cause him the extra burden of having to hunt him before killing him. He loved Dean too much to do that to him.
The thoughts of having to face Bobby in the morning and say goodbye was the last straw and he let the tears stream down his face. He pulled the phone from his pocket and was about to listen to the voicemail for the last time when the door opened and Dean walked in carrying a takeout bag.
Sam looked at his brother with his tear streaked face and for a moment he thought that he could see concern on his brother's face. He stood up and openly let the tears fall.
"You have to do it now, I…I can't keep waiting for you to do it p…please just get it over with… I'm b…begging Dean please." Sam sobbed.
"Sam? What… what are you talking about?" Dean replied and Sam hated that he was now causing his brother more upset. He should be stronger than this.
"L…let's just drive outside of town and do it now. I know you w…want to let Bobby have a chance to say g…goodbye but I need you to do it tonight. I can't… I just can't please." Sam continued.
"Sam what the hell are you going on about?" Dean stressed dropping the takeout bag on the bed and moving closer to his emotional brother.
"What you need to do! What you said you'd do!" Sam yelled frustrated holding up the phone for his brother to see.
Dean made it to his brother in two strides and snatched the phone. Looking at the display he saw 1 saved message, he pressed the listen now button as Sam collapsed to the bed crying uncontrollably.
After a few moments of the older brother listening to the message and squeezing the phone so hard in his hand that it nearly snapped he flung the cell into the nearest wall smashing it into pieces.
"Fucking Zachariah! If the bastard wasn't dead already I'd rip the thundering prick to pieces!" Dean yelled angrily.
At Dean's outburst Sam looked up and a string of emotions rallied through him at the outraged look on his big brother's face.
"Dean?" Sam asked cautiously.
"Sammy, what the fuck? How…How could you ever think that I'd…Christ Sam...?Never." Dean said.
"I… but you left that-"Sam began.
"THAT… is not the message I left you! Those dickwad angels manipulated it somehow." Dean told him.
"But what you said at the hospital." Sam urged.
"Dammit Sammy, you went off with Ruby! You drank demon blood and you basically started the apocalypse of course I'm pissed! But I would never want to kill you!" Dean told him disbelievingly.
Sam felt relief wash over him and he didn't know what to say to his brother now that he knew the truth.
"Sammy you're my baby brother and please believe me when I say that you ARE my life. I told you I would fight until the end but not without you by my side. It's going to take time to get past everything that has happened but I will never stop loving or caring about you." Dean told him in a gentler voice.
All the emotions came rushing into Sam at once and tears began to fall afresh. The hug he found himself enveloped in was unexpected but he quickly latched onto it like it was a lifeline. And it was, because Dean was his lifeline, always had been.
"Hey, how about you eat that rabbit food I got for you and we get some shut eye?" Dean asked as he pulled back slowly from the embrace.
"You got me food?" Sam asked and Dean didn't like the surprise in his little brother's voice.
"Of coarse I did. I'm always going to look after my little brother you should know that," Dean said with a cocky smile.
And yeah, Sam really should have known.