Blackandivorykeys Is a Big Fat Ice-cream Loving Bully or The Pretend Date

1. Cannon pairings. No exceptions.
2. Must be able to relate to Pretend Dating. Be creative!
3. Must have a plot. (No threesome, slash, and etc. Lemons are accepted.)
4. Must be a one-shot. It can be extended after the contest ends.
5. Must have rules pasted on entry and summary marked with Pretend Date Contest or PDC.
6. Contest ends June 22nd, 2009, 11:59 PM EST (Eastern Time). Two entries allowed.

A/N: This story is for blackandivorykey's contest. I'm still in exams, but she basically stalked me to post this. So it's not good as I wanted it to be. Still. Read. Enjoy. Review. Check out her stories too, she's cool.

'Bell-a! I don't' have anything to wear! What shall I do?' My roommate Alice squealed.

'Al-ice,' I mocked in the same tone. 'You have a thousand things to wear. Don't give me that crap. It's just a date.'

'Not any date, a date with Jasper' she sighed, obviously infatuated with him.

Alice had met Jasper two weeks ago whilst shopping for groceries. Yes, you heard right. Alice Cullen went grocery shopping. She said she felt like the supermarket was calling her. Creepy. Anyway, ever since he'd asked her out, Alice had been on the warpath to ensure that everything was perfect.

'Oh my god Bella, what do I say to him? What if I run out of things to say? Shall I take note cards? What if I stare at him for too long?'

I burst out laughing at Alice's naivety and excitement; she'd been on a thousand dates yet she was still so nervous.

'Alice, you can't take note cards. That's just weird. Trust me. Just be yourself.'

'Says the one whose schedule is emptier than a black hole. You think you're such an expert do you?' Alice retorted.

She was right. I hardly ever went on dates. I was waiting for the right guy, and I don't care how stupid that sounds, it's true. I wasn't going to waste my time kissing frogs when I could have fun all by myself! When the right guy comes along, I'll know.

'What about that guy from your work? Edward, was it?' Alice's soprano voice snapped me out of my reverie.

I threw a pillow at her in retaliation. That was a low blow.

'Fine Alice, be like that. And I was going to offer to help you for your date with Jasper. Maybe I won't now...' I snapped.

'Really Bella? Please help me! I'll love you forever. I'll give you back those pair of sweats that I stole. Please?' Alice unleashed the full potential of her puppy-dog pout.

'Fine Alice. I've got an idea. Let's go on a practice date tonight. You can pretend I'm Jasper and dress up and try out your conversation topics on me. Is that ok with you?'

'Sure Bella. That'd be awesome. I need to go choose my outfit so go to work already. You need the practice too for when Edward asks you out!' Alice teased, and I left the house, glad that I could help my crazy best friend in one way.

As I walked to work, I let my mind wander of all the things we had done together. I let out a short chuckle as I remembered the time we queued in front of Saks in New York at 5am for the start of their winter sale, and it snowed. Alice got so angry at the weather that she shook her fist and yelled at the sky. Strangely enough, the snow stopped after that. Never underestimate the power of Alice.

Before I could realise, I'd arrived at my office building. I sighed and prepared myself for another day of running errands for my boss and staring at Edward; the assistant manager on my floor. To say he was hot was an insult. He was astronomically beautiful. He was as luxurious as Ben & Jerry's ice-cream on a hot day and as gorgeous as the sky was blue. OK, hold on a second there Bella, stop with the obsessive fan-girl descriptions and take a breath. Seeing Edward was not the best part of your job. No...Wait. He was. God I needed a life. I walked into my building and looked around, wondering why it was so empty up here. Where was everybody?

'Everyone's home with the stomach bug. It's making its rounds around the office. I guess it's just you and me today Bella.' A voice resonated across the office.

I would recognise that melodic voice anywhere. It was Edward! I slowly glanced up, and yeah, my suspicions were confirmed. Damn that boy! There he was, in his black suit and plaid shirt smiling at me like there was no tomorrow.

'So...Bella. How are you on this fine morning?' Edward asked me.

'I'm fine thanks Edward. How are you?' I grinned, surprised with my new-found confidence.

'Just a bit tired. My room-mate Emmett and I are planning a housewarming party at our apartment tonight so we were up quite late planning it. Are you free tonight? You should come. It'll be fun! We can talk.' Edward gushed. Wow, I didn't realise he talked so fast. It was cute.

This sucked. The one time I had an opportunity outside of work to talk to Edward and show him how witty, charming and amazing I was; I couldn't go. I had that stupid pretend date with Alice!

'Sorry Edward but I'm going to be busy tonight, but I would've loved to come!'

'Why don't you give me your number and I'll ring you later on when the party's in full swing. I'm sure your plans won't take up the whole evening, right?' Edward pondered. The sadness on his face was adorable!

'Urm...yeah...sure.' I stuttered. Great going Bella. Way to dazzle him with your incomprehensible wit and charm! He handed me his phone, an iPhone nonetheless, and I inputted my number into it.

He gave me one last smile and headed off towards to the reprographics room. I sighed at turned to my desk to start working.

Before I knew it, half of the day was over and it was time for me to go home and prepare for my 'date' with Alice. She'd made me take the day off of work to prepare myself for it. Heaven knows what I needed to prepare for.

I ran home and opened my bedroom door. To my shock, there was a black striped suit lying there on my bed in between my teddy-bears. There was a note on top of the suit too. It read:

Bella,

To make this date serious, let's pretend we're not room-mates. Put this suit on and wear it to the date, it'll be fun! Plus, I'm at Rosalie's right now getting ready so you can pick me up from there!

See you soon,

Alice

P.S. I like roses. Just a hint.

I quickly went for a shower to freshen up and put on the suit.

'Hmm...'I thought. 'It didn't look too bad. It was cute!'

I lightly curled my hair and applied some light make-up. Stuffing all of my things into a clutch, I headed out of the door. I wondered if Edward would ring me, even though I wouldn't be able to go to the party.

Remembering to buy Alice flowers, I stopped off at the local florist and picked up a dozen long-stemmed red roses for Alice. I hope she liked them, they were bloody expensive.

I pulled up to Rosalie's apartment and rang on the doorbell. I didn't like this side of dating – I felt like I had to do all of the hard work. Hopefully this would all be over with soon, and I could go back to being the girl of the relationship. Preferably with Edward.

Wait! Did I really say that? God Bella. You need to get a life.

One hour and two courses over, I was shattered. Alice was a lively date, to say the least. She hadn't stopped talking and nearly spilt wine all over me. I was starting to become very worried about her.

'Alice? We need to talk about this date. I think that you need to calm down. You're not letting me a word in edgeways! Imagine how Jasper would feel, k? It's been fun but still... You did great.' I soothed.

'What? Really? I need to stop being so damn perky. But Jasper did say that that was what he loved about me!'

Whilst Alice battled with herself, my phone buzzed in my suit pocket. I glanced at it to see a message from Edward.

Where are you? Do you need a ride to the party? I'm just on my way to pick up some more food from a restaurant so it's not trouble. It's still in full swing and I need you here. I'm dying. Edward x

I was about to type back a response for him to meet me here at the restaurant when the door opened at a cold breeze engulfed the room. I turned around to glare at the cause of it when my eyes popped out of their sockets with shock. It was Edward! Please let him not see me, I prayed.

I guess luck wasn't on my side and Edward glanced towards me did a double-take. He walked up to my table and looked in between Alice and I.

'Bella. What are you doing here? Why are you wearing that suit? Who's the girl?' he asked, afraid of the answer.

'It's my room-mate Alice and we're on a pretend date because she has a really important date that she wanted to practice for. It looks weird but I'm not lying!' I stuttered.

Edward was stunned in silence for a moment but then he burst out laughing. I was slightly confused; the situation wasn't that funny, was it? At least he didn't think that I was gay.

'Do you both want to come to the party then? It should be fun!' Edward asked.

'Sure, let's just get the cheque.' I reached out to grab the bill when my hand met Alice's tiny one.

'Nuh-uh,' she said. 'I'm a modern girl, we go Dutch. OK? Alice stated.

I nodded my head and paid my half. Afterwards, we grabbed our coats and headed out of the door.

That was best pretend date I'd been on in a while. And that was saying something.